If you didn’t read my previous post, please do first.  Its here.

Now.  Some might think I  wasn’t strong because I didn’t blow up, that I didn’t show that asshole the Master and Dominant that I am.  Others may think that if you are not angry at injustice, then the injustice may not be real.  In court, if you show no emotion, its a bad thing for the jury.  Trust me, there was plenty violence and aggression hurled my way and it could very easily have turned into ugly uncontrolled rage.. on his part. Not mine.  But why not? you may ask.

If any of that previous blog sounded weak, I am writing this now to correct your terrible understanding of how a person in control really works.

In retrospect, I am extremely pleased with my performance.  There is a thing that happens sometimes, when you are completely reasonable with an  unreasonable person, and it makes them angrier.  Obviously when that happens, they were trying to provoke you.  That didn’t happen though.

I kept my voice stead, I fought back the screaming voice inside of me, I addressed the gentleman as “Sir”, and did my level best to keep the tone civil.  In short, he was out of control, and from a thinking person’s perspective, that is an opportunity for YOU to be more fully in control.  It is as if they have placed themselves blindfolded on a narrow board and with the most gentle of touch you can cause them to sway this way or that.  You MUST have control of yourself first, before you can see and leverage a position like that.

A great Dominant will be like that.  They are annoyingly calm, slow to anger, but you can still tell when you have displeased them, because the intensity and focus goes way up.  When that happens, you just know you are in trouble with them and at that point, if you haven’t gotten control of yourself, that Dominant is going to manipulate you like a marionette.

Anger my friends is a tool.  Sometimes we pull it out of box and we show it to people to get their attention.  But anger should never be worn.  It must be something that is displayed but not allowed to be part of yourself.  Not sure how I can explain this better.  It is like you become an actor, and you use the anger you should be feeling, to create the perfect scene for that moment in your life.

When as a Dominant should you show anger?  Almost never.  It might be misunderstood for a lack of control.  When you cannot control yourself, everyone knows that you are weak.  But there are times when you have not been able to achieve a certain level of focus from someone, and they need to know they have gone so far as to create a situation where you will actually be angry.  For a person that knows you, this can be a very scary moment.  All the more reason to have yourself under control.

Fear and intimidation can be useful tools.  Never turn away a tool.  Every thing has its time and place.  But of all the tools in your Domination toolbox, these are the ones that should be left to rust.

So yes, in retrospect I am very pleased with my performance.  I will tell you that afterward, after I was away from mister angry, I had my own moments of pent up rage.  I wanted to smash walls, and break things with a bat, but I kept it bottled up until it passed.  Oh I felt it alright, but I was better than that, and I am proud of it.  That opportunity for anger is now in the past and the pride I feel at the control I managed over him and myself, won’t allow me to even come close to being angry now.  Don’t think that control is easy.  It is not.  Nor is it easy to hide when you are controlling yourself.  You have to control yourself without looking like you are trying.  Never let them see your cards.  Hope that gave you something worthy to think about.  Carpe Diem my friends!  Go be someone’s great day!



16 thoughts on “Anger

  1. I am pleased to hear my thoughts have value for you. I share, not to create an audience, but because I give great amounts of thought to living life, and one of those thoughts is that we all need to teach each other how to be happier – and to make smarter decisions. We need to do some original thinking. I cannot invest emotionally in that sharing.. meaning, I can’t allow what people like or dislike to shift my thinking. I need to stay true to the conclusions I arrive at, be they popular or not.. still.. I would lie if I didn’t acknowledge that all of us would like to be understood, and appreciated. So yes, It pleases me that you find value here.


  2. Great post , Arianna has seen me lose my temper one time.
    It was not towards her but towards someone else’s stupidity.
    After all was said and done I could tell she was very upset having never seen that side of me.
    I did apologize soon after but she had seen that side , a side that had been unknown.

    I have never lost my temper or taken anything out on Arianna, I’m better than that and in my eyes she can do no wrong.

    It really takes a lot to set me off and I do not like that side , usually I can just be calm a cut you to shreds .

    While there are many things in life I understand stupidity is not one.

    Most anything can be fix but stupid is not one of them.

    Merry Christmas

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am not surprised at all by Arianna’s reaction. When a person who is normally controlled, pulls anger out of the tool box, it can be very scary.. very powerful. As you know. Every now and then Izrina will say in exasperation, “Who left the bag of idiots open?” Yup, Can’t fix stupid.


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  10. Anger…I used to have the patience of a Buddha and still think I have it me to obtain it with years of meditation and self decipline.

    Growing up happend. I am no longer the naive, ignorant, happy self. Anger has become one of those unwanted side effects of being a newly fledged adult with immense amount of responsibilities. The scarry thing is that Anger can silently take over my control without me even knowing it. I can be dissatisfied with one minor detail and that issue can just avalanche into a pure adulterated rage. I’ve only experienced it a handful times in my life, but each and everyone of those experiences still haunt me. To think I am capable of harboring such emotions….

    I learned that purging things on paper helps me regain control. Meditation helps. Also I came to your blog to see if 24/7 M/s is suitable for my Husband and I. Yet here I am going down the path of self-discovery and self-healing.

    Thank you Sir.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Sounds like you are starting in the right place. And… don’t ever make excuses for anger.. If you find yourself in the place of grace, where your life is an exercise in teaching your soul something new, anger is just a tool, something we wear and discard, but never keep.


  12. A side note… If you wanted to send me a pm regarding your original goal.. find me on Fetlife.. I am still Xtac.. an reach out there. I would be happy to speak with you.


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