If you didn’t read my previous post, please do first. Its here.
Now. Some might think I wasn’t strong because I didn’t blow up, that I didn’t show that asshole the Master and Dominant that I am. Others may think that if you are not angry at injustice, then the injustice may not be real. In court, if you show no emotion, its a bad thing for the jury. Trust me, there was plenty violence and aggression hurled my way and it could very easily have turned into ugly uncontrolled rage.. on his part. Not mine. But why not? you may ask.
If any of that previous blog sounded weak, I am writing this now to correct your terrible understanding of how a person in control really works.
In retrospect, I am extremely pleased with my performance. There is a thing that happens sometimes, when you are completely reasonable with an unreasonable person, and it makes them angrier. Obviously when that happens, they were trying to provoke you. That didn’t happen though.
I kept my voice stead, I fought back the screaming voice inside of me, I addressed the gentleman as “Sir”, and did my level best to keep the tone civil. In short, he was out of control, and from a thinking person’s perspective, that is an opportunity for YOU to be more fully in control. It is as if they have placed themselves blindfolded on a narrow board and with the most gentle of touch you can cause them to sway this way or that. You MUST have control of yourself first, before you can see and leverage a position like that.
A great Dominant will be like that. They are annoyingly calm, slow to anger, but you can still tell when you have displeased them, because the intensity and focus goes way up. When that happens, you just know you are in trouble with them and at that point, if you haven’t gotten control of yourself, that Dominant is going to manipulate you like a marionette.
Anger my friends is a tool. Sometimes we pull it out of box and we show it to people to get their attention. But anger should never be worn. It must be something that is displayed but not allowed to be part of yourself. Not sure how I can explain this better. It is like you become an actor, and you use the anger you should be feeling, to create the perfect scene for that moment in your life.
When as a Dominant should you show anger? Almost never. It might be misunderstood for a lack of control. When you cannot control yourself, everyone knows that you are weak. But there are times when you have not been able to achieve a certain level of focus from someone, and they need to know they have gone so far as to create a situation where you will actually be angry. For a person that knows you, this can be a very scary moment. All the more reason to have yourself under control.
Fear and intimidation can be useful tools. Never turn away a tool. Every thing has its time and place. But of all the tools in your Domination toolbox, these are the ones that should be left to rust.
So yes, in retrospect I am very pleased with my performance. I will tell you that afterward, after I was away from mister angry, I had my own moments of pent up rage. I wanted to smash walls, and break things with a bat, but I kept it bottled up until it passed. Oh I felt it alright, but I was better than that, and I am proud of it. That opportunity for anger is now in the past and the pride I feel at the control I managed over him and myself, won’t allow me to even come close to being angry now. Don’t think that control is easy. It is not. Nor is it easy to hide when you are controlling yourself. You have to control yourself without looking like you are trying. Never let them see your cards. Hope that gave you something worthy to think about. Carpe Diem my friends! Go be someone’s great day!