Dinner at HOX, Nov style

We probably should have served turkey and mashed potatoes right? Or is that just too USA thanksgiving? With Covid surging again my slave is more than a little worried about keeping me healthy and frankly I don’t want to be a spreader, so we did a mask mandate for the meet and greet part and for Dungeon time.

Dinner though, there is no way around it. Hopefully you are chewing with your mouth closed and that is something anyway. The table seats ten, but that would be elbow to elbow so we cut the limit to eight to open up room.

Nice crowd this month. There was an interest in knives and fire play so we did both. First a knife demo on Izrina.. I put an old dress shirt on her and cut it into strips which were then used for breast bondage before going further. Then fire play. Again Izrina first, then a lady who really, really likes her fire.

I ended with a new couple. Steve topped his bottom with fire while I instructed. He picked it up really quick. I think Ray, his bottom could easily had an orgasm from it if he kept going. Went very well.

Jade Kitten was feeling left out. I asked another new comer, Gary, if he had ever handled a flogger before. He had not. So two birds with one stone. I instructed Gary and Jade got her flogger time.

Gary being new just wasn’t going to leave marks and I know Jade looks forward to those so I finished her off with a flogger that has metal rivets in the throws. Let some really beautiful marks. Looking forward to seeing pictures of later to see if they fill in or fade.

Soooo… Another lovely evening with people coming together to do the things they love. I really love my slave, and our life. Life is good! Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!

A Halloween party

Covid is surging everywhere, so going to a Halloween party was probably a risk. I knew everyone in attendance and I’m glad we went. The host will be moving soon… many, many hours away. The USA is a big country and its entirely possible to relocate in the USA to a place where you have to make a huge commitment to visit. I owe a friend in Florida a visit for a very long time now.

But enough of that. The party was fun. We did a secret Santa type deal, where people brought gifts and everyone got something. That was nice.

Izrina likes to make hand stamped and painted cards. They can be very fancy with raised lettering applied with glues and plastic and a heat gun.. or multi papered with scalloped edges ( she has like five different scissors for this). I approved all of her designs and she spent about two days making a small box of them. Nice work.. and equally important because it was a labor of love, done for Master. Double points!

The food was excellent and Oh My God what great costumes. Real chain mail, incredible leather armor, steam punk, and even count Spankula showed up. Doctor Bob was in a doctors outfit, of course..

They have a hot tub and though is was below freezing the water was lovely. Izrina and I got naked and hopped in for some cuddle time under the stars. We were joined later by Leather Beowulf.

For food, Izrina baked these individual sized Chocolate pecan pies. Man are they good! Deka brought a rice and sausage with medium and hot pans. The spicy one was to die for. Shoulda taken a doggie bag.

No play happened while we were there.. nothing serious anyway. I had Izrina get on all fours at one point for a quick ass swat but that was just playful stuff.. nowhere near subspace level.

The slave of our host was quite tearful about going to miss her new friends. I get it. Community is important. It’s why newbies get Dom frenzy or slave Frenzy. Once you taste the life you need, you never want to go back.

Carpe Diem my friends.. be someone’s great day!

Queer HOX

I have a young friend who identifies as Queer. I am never quite clear on exactly what that means and even when I google it the information is somewhat conflicting. I do know the word has a history of being used in a hurtful way. To to be perfectly clear, I personally don’t give a rats ass if someone identifies as Queer.

Our October HOX was freaking awesome. Two new people showed up. We were scheduled to have four new people but for whatever reason two of the new folks didn’t show. I am always amazed at how this works.. people make a reservation and then don’t show. Not a problem when the count is low but when people are not allowed to come because of it, that’s a problem. But enough bitching…

We had a young person show up this month. So young in fact I had to check her ID to make sure. She identified as Queer. She just turned 18 and was very excited to meet others into BDSM and get started. I warned her about slave/Dom frenzy and she seems pretty level headed. I hope we seen more of her.

She’s not quite sure where she is in the power spectrum.. she thinks switch but I am fairly certain that switch would be a compromise simply to take on a partner. Ultimately I think she’s looking to be a Master with a slave. Just my personal assessment, we’ll see.

She had never seen a violet wand before and had some fun with that. Also we did some training in flogging, and caning and I think she came away with a much better idea of the control and precision she’ll need to develop to be good at sadism. Her bottom got some lovely marks and both took “trophy photos” to remember the session.

We also had an older gentleman who chose a “white bracelet”. That means he’s just an observer. No one can interact with him unless he initiates a conversation. He was quiet at first, but I think he warmed up to the group after a bit.

I can’t express how happy it makes me to see people begin to explore a passion. Especially one they may have suppressed or desired to follow for a long time.

Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!

October Wrap Up

It’s October in Pennsylvania and the nights are getting colder. With the help of my slave, I am trying to finish the last of the new steps in back ( in our Ceremony area where we celebrate each year).. That way in the spring we can just level the ground and put in concrete benches for guests… but…

There are other projects that MUST be done before the first freeze hits. So I had to put a hold on the last two steps while I made a push to wrap up some other projects.

All this fast paced effort is really stressing the budget but from my perspective the winter is not the time to be spending money on projects. Maybe this winter I’ll actually get some time in to relax and enjoy the fruits of our many labors.. maybe.. but probably not.

There is a MASSIVE project that can be done inside.. preparations for a tower that I want to build off the side of HOX. The goal is to eventually open up the floor space to a cathedral ceiling with beams and such and that is going to require moving a staircase, hence the massive indoor project.

I’ll have all winter so if I pace myself maybe I can do a few hours work each evening, followed by a few hours of down time.. which will be a huge change from how this summer has gone. This was a very long year of very long days, with lots of back breaking work. Funny how much effort went into things folks barely notice. It will be all be worth it though as it continues to come together.

It is with great pleasure that my slave and I move forward, building a place that is home, as well as a comfortable retreat for community members we call friends. Onward! Carpe Diem, be someone’s great day!

For the love of Collars

Izrina and I have a private special place where we performed her collaring ceremony. We love to share this space with others and we celebrate here each year. (We are open to anyone wishing to perform their ceremony here).

In 2020 we did a massive amount of work to stabilize the cliff edge and built a BDSM symbol/platform for our yearly celebration.

For 2021, I wanted to put in steps leading up the hillside to the bank that overlooks the ceremony area and put in a horseshoe shaped level area with concrete benches for our guests.

We got a head start on that project by putting in the steps and starting the leveling this year. Its a lot of work involving pickaxe, and shovel, and hauling blocks and concrete back through the woods so it won’t be done quickly. I’ll post a picture when we get to the top of the stairs (if we get that far this year) and then again next spring when the benches are in.

I love our life together.. thank God Izrina is part farm girl. This project has her working pretty hard, though at 25 years younger she should be able to keep up. Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!


I try to not write more than once a week so as to not make reading a chore but I just engaged with someone in which I stressed what I think is important and my top two were collars and the four areas of negotiation. I got to thinking its been a while since I commented on this… so here goes.

COLLARS, part 1 – Modern BDSM folk tend to make fun of those of us who talk about certain old ideas like the three collars. They will refer to it as idiots who believe in the “One Twue Way”. Wrong. ANY undertaking will have best practices. If you have the opportunity to learn from the mistakes of others by studying best practices, you should.

NEGOTIATIONS – That brings us to negotiations. If you are going to be a slave or a Master you MUST understand each other. This requires time and in depth discussion. You can’t just start “training” a slave to suck cock and think your work is done. Before any training starts you need to ask questions like: What are you looking for? What is your past experience? What worked? What Failed?, Why?, What are your hard limits? Do you accept being pushed on fears and limits?

You need a framework, a list of subjects to cover, and understand. I wrote a piece some time ago on the “four areas of negotiation” to help folk think beyond just controlling the body and the mind. Negotiation is a very critical “best practice”.

COLLARS, part 2 – And that takes us back into why the three collars are a best practice. Again, I wrote on the Three Collars. The three collars are consideration, training, and the final collar.

The reason why these are important is because Negotiations are important. Each collar represents an different phase in your negotiations. When you are considering a slave, you are saying “hands off” to other Doms but you are also dipping your toe in the water. Are there any things that surface immediately that are going to put this relation on the rocks. I for example would NEVER get past.. “I don’t swallow”. If a prospective slave won’t perform full oral service to my satisfaction, we can call it quits right there.

A collar of consideration lasts as long as it takes to determine that a relationship is worth looking into. There is also virtually no commitment with a collar of consideration. If you want out, you just bow out. No big deal.

When and IF you feel fairly comfortable with moving into training THAT is when its time to upgrade. The first collar could be a week or a few weeks.. or longer.. or shorter. Its all about how you feel its going. There really is no reason for a Dom to order oral service until a slave is in training. There is no reason for a Dom to skip over a consideration collar. Slow but steady wins the race.

A slave who is looking for a LTR and meets up with a Dom who wants to jump straight into oral training or something along those lines with no discussion should back out immediately. This is not a Dom who is thoughful in their mastery. No one needs another heart break so break it off and move on. Taking your time just makes sense.

Training like consideration will last as long as it takes. I trained my slave for years for a variety of reason. You can back out of a consideration collar or a training collar.. A training collar should not be backed out of as easily as a collar of consideration but a final collar should not be broken at all if possible so take your time in training.

When vanilla’s date, they put their best foot forward. A guy may dance and a girl may go to a sport event but neither wanted to. They did it because they wanted the other person so they compromised. Later their real side comes out and they no longer want to do what they used to do. Doms and slaves can be the same. It takes time to get to the “real” person.

In training, do not compromise. People don’t generally change so don’t try to change someone. If you are going to break the relation, training is the time to do it. Doms should show some fucking backbone and not wimp out on demands. If you are a slave and the personal training is not getting it done you have to get out of your submissive role long enough to let them know you are leaving. You have to speak up. If you are going to piss off a future partner then training is when that needs to happen.

The final collar is a momentous occasion. It is the prize at the end of a long road. It deserves celebration. Ideally it should be the final collar a slave ever takes. Like marriage, it may not last forever, but we hope for our final collar to “be the one”.

My slave was collared on the Fourth of July, the US holiday that celebrates freedom, because as a slave she finds freedom in her chains. We celebrate every year since. Maybe we’ll see you one year at our celebration. Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day.

New Toys

I learned a very long time ago that when you have a new toy that you need to be careful with it at first until you fully understand what it is capable of.

Many years ago Izrina and I were at a convention and we came across “Jay the traveling fool” who had this lovely chrome paddle. It was big, heavy, and shiny with neat holes drilled through. “Ohhh Shiny, can I try it out?” I asked? Sure, Jay said, and I order Izrina to assume the position and hiked up her skirt. I was on my third whack when I noticed tears running down her cheeks that was smearing her mascara.

What this thing did was.. because of the weight and momentum, when it contacted the glutenous maximus the skin kind of popped up into the holes leaving marks like a lascivious octopus had attacked. They were now oozing and bleeding. Lesson learned.

Here we are years later and a good friend Deka gave me a flogger which had many heavy throws on it but more importantly each ended in a shiny chrome rivet. I was fairly certain that bad boy was going to break skin.

Yesterday was HOX open house and we did a fire demo and I decided to see just what this baby would do. I had three volunteers but I wanted to start on my slave first. If I’m going to draw blood I need that damage to be on my property until I know exactly what to expect.

I have two favorite floggers I call sting and thunk. One is big fat elk skin throws while the other is thinner throws. I like to say one is my all day flogger though my slave will tell you that I can make either sting.

The new flogger felt more like thunk. Lot of throws that covered a whole shoulder blade. I like to try to be very precise in my strikes but this new toys threw such a wide spread that at first I had to really concentrate on my accuracy.

Her skin grew a nice pink very quickly.. what I call “painting”.. and I was able to very easily cover my canvas in color. I expected some dots where the rivets struck but the color was actually quite even.

I picked up the intensity and still no broken skin but since my girl is a fire-slut I didn’t go any further and finished with fire.

Jade was next and she can really take a beating. I unleashed even harder with her and still no broken skin though.. this time… I did get a few small dots here and there. Jade would be disappointed if she left without marks so I switched to a cane for her.

We didn’t have a mistress in attendance for Lewis so I offered and he accepted. I watched his body language closely but wasn’t sure if his moans were from bearing the harder strikes or pleasure. We talked afterwards so I better understood his needs.

All in all I’d say the new toy is a real jew in the toy box. I’m looking forward to giving my slave a leather and metal massage again soon. Carpe Diem my friends, be someones great day!

A new friend

ONLY one hundred miles from New York City but it gets pretty rural out here in the Hudson and Delaware valleys. Particularly in this part of Pennsylvania. Lots of trees and waterfalls.

Any event we want to go to usually involves at least a one hour drive. There are a few kinky people in the area and we are getting to know more all of the time thanks to HOX. I was going to write about one new friend but really there are many more that deserve attention.

Tony, a relatively new Dom who is learning the ropes in work shops. Jade Kitten whose furry side is very pleasurable for a sadist.. she mews when beaten and gets louder the more she like it. Deka who has friends and acquaintances all up and down the east coast and even some out west.

And then there is MasterZ and his slave (under consideration) who is yet to be given a name. They are in negotiations still. He doesn’t advertise events on Fet. He just throws a party and people show up.

He has a sprawling homestead on 15 acres with a horse and multiple buildings, and a massive dining, living, and kitchen space where people can mingle. A huge deck, hot tub, swimming pool and huge bar complete the setup. Evenings are friendly, relaxed, and fun. If you camp, you can setup a tent with the others who will be staying for breakfast.

He is looking to set up protocol workshops since he is particularly annoyed that he constantly runs into folks who have not been exposed to the value of some of the “best practices” many of us have learned.

HOX was on hold during the first few months of Covid but we are back. Between HOX, summer recreation, friends, house projects, and Covid we’ve been crazy busy.

You probably noticed I have not posted much lately but rest assured our Master/slave life continues in full swing. Real life seems to have taken precedence over writing which is a problem I’m sure more people would like to have, what with Covid and all.. Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day! 


If you have a Fetlife account you can see our HOX history here:

When a slave acts like a Dom

My slave Izrina is an extension of my will. Just as my arm extends to grasp what I desire, her will bends to the pleasure of the Master she serves. I love her dearly.. she is my greatest treasure, my most important possession.

Now my doctor recently ordered me to lose 20lbs. Not a problem I thought. I headed to the gym but not only has it been closed since March, there is a for sale sign up.. Covid has not been good for any of us.

So we took to nightly walks, and added dieting. The walks are nice and we both could stand to lose some weight, so hand in hand with the puppy in tow we do our stroll. It’s nice.. the setting sun, the sounds of woodlands, the crunch of gravel roads..

I have a weakness though for pizza and chocolate. Recently my slave has been… well almost ordering me to step away from the goodies. When I point out that I am the Master, she tells me that she is only reminding me of what my goals are and I can do as I please. Right…

It bugs me.. I don’t take well to this “reverse”. It would seem she is much more than an extension of my will. Sometimes she is my will power.

Carpe Diem my friends. Be someone’s great day!

Controlling Anger

Imagine you are captured and held hostage in some dark abandoned industrial looking place. You are tied to a chair and your captor walks in. You are pissed and you begin to hurl angry words.. and taunt them.. until you get a reaction. Which response would cause more concern?

1-Your captor show visible signs of anger.. fists clenched, shoulders raised, lines in their neck bulging.. or 2-they turn icy cold, a gleam in their eye, a cruel smile on their face?

When you give in to anger, you become unhinged. You are not truly in control and a person who knows how to use this can use it against you. But the second type.. the one who knows how to stay in control… that type can be dangerous.

You want to be the second type. First and foremost because what we do in BDSM is consensual. A Dominant to be good… must never lose control. Second, to control… you are much more effective when your submissive knows they’ve crossed a line because you suddenly become more quiet.. not louder.

Carpe Diem my friends, Be someone’s great day.