“This slave”

I got a text, it read:

“This slave needs a nap”

Because I tend to reflect on every aspect of my Master/slave relation, this short sentence is fodder for a blog.

At first, the nilla side of me noticed the third person speech, and flinched at the raw objectification.  But she IS an object, albeit a very valued one, but an object none-the-less that I possess for my use.  Izrina talks in third person, because she is property, because she is not allowed to say “my Master” or “my anything”.  She talks of herself as an object, because I am crafting a mindset that is not for some, uncomfortable for others.

Almost as quickly, the Dominant side countered with: “Of course she speaks in third person. That is how the mindset is created.”  It is through words and actions that we create the conditions where that which we desire is comfortable, and normal.  It is through our daily exchanges, that we sometimes forget that others do not share this love or mindset.  In fact, shifting between nilla and Ms thinking can be awkward at times.

And then the Master in me judged my accomplishments with this slave.   The things she did without thought now, the things that needed reminding.  I  thought of the many reflections, like this one I was undertaking now.  I thought of the dozens of adjustments to my style, to the manner in which I brought forth my canvas, my creation, she who would be my perfect slave.

And then my all too human side thought…. God, I don’t ever want to go through all that training again.  Not when I have right here the perfect slave for me.  I grinned at that, and was so amused, I shared it with her later.  Partly because I know it would reassure her to know she is perfect for me, and partly because she needs to know that it is no accident – that it takes work to get to this point, and partly because when she realizes the first two things, she could worry less about what it would take to lose me.

Some slaves may worry about being perfect.  I find that to be normal.  But it is the Master’s place, honor and privilege to decide if a slave is “worthy”.  No slave should presume to make such a decision for an owner.  It is enough to trust, so that the owner may shoulder the decisions and worry.  Getting to the point beyond worry, where you both are comfortable and happy, takes a lot of work, and that too is normal.  Izrina knows that she may not punish herself, that too is my privilege.  There is so much to learn and unlearn. Izrina knows all this but still needs reassurance from time to time.

We have so many protocols, rituals, and rules, but collectively they shape our lives… both our lives, and we are much happier to live this way.  It took me quite a while to find the right material from which I could create this slave.  It is not always an easy thing to do, to find someone who compliments you, but I wish you all, the very best of luck in that search.   I can say this.  It is worth the patience and effort.  Carpe Diem my friends,  Make a great day!

An early Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving.  Its a time of good food, and good company.  Of course in other countries, its on different dates and known by other names, like the Harvest Festival.   For me, growing up in the US, it comes at the end of November, and on a Thursday morning, the kitchen begins to fill with wonderful smells: Turkey and mashed potatoes, the drippings turn into gravy.   Hot dinner rolls, melting with butter, stuffing, veggies, and cranberry.  Its an all day affair of cooking, eating, and cleanup.  Then the left over turkey sandwiches, and late night snacking begins.   You sneak down to the fridge, select a few things, pop them into the microwave and enjoy another mini feast.

I will be on the road this Thanksgiving.  My slave has to work or she would be with me.   It drives me nuts.   There are times I simply hate her job.  I know she loves what she does.  If she didn’t, I’d have made her quit a long time ago.  Horses can be an addiction, I know, I get it.   I just don’t share the attraction for their particular “perfume”, or the bruises and pains that always accompany being that close to a half ton animal with a mind of it own.  My property is constantly reporting a new bruise.  Not being with me for Thanksgiving is just one of the many annoyances.

So, completely under her own desires, she drew up plans to serve me an early Thanksgiving meal this weekend, before I left.  That was sweet.   It started early, as these days always do, and went on for hours and hours.   When our plates were ready, she slipped into a sexy little blue dress, and served in high protocol fashion.  I thought the dress up was a really nice touch.  I like a formal dinner.  Afterwards, she cleaned up, served desert, and asked for permission to let the desert dishes wait for tomorrow.  I allowed this indulgence.   I normally insist that no dishes be left in the sink, unwashed.

It is at times like this, when such incredible care and service have been provided, and when I look at the thought and detail that she puts into my happiness,  that I sometimes question the equity of our arrangement.  When I hold her, and she melts into my arms, and I feel what I feel, and I feel what she is sending back to me,  any doubt goes away.

From the perspective of a Dominant, the mindset of a slave is very odd.  Not in the sense of caring for another or pleasure from creating pleasure.  Good Dominants and slaves share these simple pleasures.  No, its the pleasure that a slave often finds in tasks under direction of another, that is foreign.

I do however have memories from which to draw upon, that relate to this.  In my first years as an employee, I worked in a mail room and the labor was very manual, very much about moving heavy sacks around, and completely free of any thought.  It was simple but satisfying.  I enjoyed laughing and joking with co-workers and there was something simple yet satisfying in the labor.  The love of labor, and a labor or love – these are the roots of it.

Perhaps it is not odd that all the service, and my extreme satisfaction with her tonight, made her quite horny.  I’m grinning now..  It was a really, really, good day, start to finish.

She is off to work now.  Barn duty starts early.  She will come home smelling of horses, and if happiness was not easily found at work, I trust she will make it a good day anyway, because Master demands it.  We are blessed.  Happy Thanksgiving my friends, Carpe Diem!  Go make a great day!

When geeks collide

My slave and I are gaming geeks.  We both love Skyrim, and Minecraft.  If you haven’t heard of Minecraft, you can’t be reading this now, because the rock you are living under has no electricity.   Skyrim, if you are not familiar, is an incredible immersive fantasy game, rich with breathtaking scenery and endless hills and valleys to explore.  You can wander for days across this fantasy land as you build up the skills and possessions of a character who can be a hero, or villain, depending on how you feel like playing.

Now, you may be wondering, “Yes X, but what does that have to do with my throbbing sexual needs?   What about my deep lust for Dominance and submission?  When do we get to the good stuff? ”  Glad you asked.

Seventeen days ago, my slave and I underwent a little “adjustment” in her duties to correct an area I was not pleased with.  I have to say that since “Domination on Blogs, the quirks”,  the changes I’ve made have kept me quite happy.

It’s not fair to you, my steady followers to not explain.  What I was unhappy with, was the lack of detail in housekeeping.   I like a home to be neat, tidy, and presentable enough for company at any time.  Its the small things: dust that builds up, chrome that is splattered, baseboards that haven’t been cleaned, things that are not organized.   The little things add up, and the collective is messy.   A home should be a place of comfort, a refuge from the storms outside,  a retreat where you love your environment, and the person or persons you share it with.   I can’t be comfortable if the place isn’t spot on.  I’ve lived with disasters.  I don’t want that ever again.

I took responsibility for this.   If things didn’t get done, its because I wasn’t managing properly.  Izrina is first and foremost a slave.  I just needed to set expectations.  I expect anticipatory service, and I expect what pleases me would be done by a slave who loves to please, but no one is a mind reader.

There is a lazy side to managing that sometimes does not want to deal with things.  To be a good Master, or manager for that matter, you cannot let things slide. I was unhappy, and things needed to change.  When things do not get done, a strong willed person steps in and makes changes.

I need to say these things to reveal to you, what it is like in an ongoing, every day Master – slave relation.  Even when its perfect, you still have ups and downs.  Of course when things are perfect, a “down” side is more like disappointment than a total unhappy meltdown – especially if you don’t let things slide.

So I instituted a schedule.  Cleaning will happen every day, five days a week.  It will start each Monday, at the desk in the living room.  Five areas, one for each weekday, arranged in a logical, clockwise order around the home.

After week one, no dust, and everything was neat and shiny.  By week two, cleanup was a matter of finding something to clean.  By week three, cleaning turned to just a little tidying up, and organizing.   The home is now something I am very proud of, and more importantly, when I come home I look around; I am at ease.  It pleases me, and my pleasure, pleases her.   I don’t feel the need to get back up and have this or that handled.  Everything is on a schedule, and looks great.

At first, cleaning every day takes time away and at the end of a long day at work, you don’t want to give up that time.  Later, when there is little left to do, those few minutes of maintenance are easy.  She has a new appreciation, I think, for our home, and what she does in service to me.  We still have our down time, and that brings me back to our gaming geek side.

Oh, we are geeks.. believe me.  She has a book with over a thousand pages, on Skyrim.  She studies and take notes for when I give her some play time.  When she started a new diet recently, she poured over books, wrote shopping lists, collected recipes, and all of it was recorded in a notepad, in handwriting that is neat, and oh so tiny..  OCD, yeah, we got that.

Now that my daughter is away at College, finances are very tight and we are spending even more time at home.  That means more time to clean, and experiment with food, and play games.  Now of the electronic games, I will often have a bath drawn, and have a drink brought to me, then release her to play Skyrim.   I’ll do some Sudoku, to keep my mind limber, and then kick her off the game to go make supper, at which point its my turn to de-stress by killing monsters and exploring.

As a Dominant, I can play all I want and leave her to find something else with which to amuse herself.  I can be greedy, and hog all the play time for myself.   But gaming can be a terrible addiction.  You get to a point where you have things you want to achieve in the game and you can go hours before you notice the amount of time that has gone by.. unless you are the person waiting for your turn.. then time goes very, very slowly.   I know this.  I have that addiction too, and when I am hogging all the game time, I think about these things.

As I was sipping my drink tonight and preparing to kick her off the game, a thought occurred to me.    I wonder how many Master and slave relations have had fights because the Dominant was greedy and monopolized the entertainment?   I know it seems like a silly thing, but when you get home, and the cleaning and chores are all done, we all need something to entertain us, something to fill the hours with.

Often Master and slave entertainment is TV, in the form of sports, or a movie.  But it might also be surfing the net,  writing, painting, reading, or gaming.   Some of those things you may have to wait your turn for.  I wonder..  how do other Dominants and slaves reach a compromise on TV, or games, or the computer?   Or do they compromise at all?  Are some slaves secretly very unhappy because of the greedy hogging by the Master?   Should a Master give up time, say on a computer, if there is just one, and they are not ready to give it up?  Should a slave have to wait until Master leaves, to watch the movies and entertainment they like?

Its super hot, to say I am going to use you as my sexual toy.   I am going to fuck you any time I want and you will experience being a thing for my sexual amusement.   I will use your mouth, and your gentiles any time it pleases me.  You will not protest when I choose to undress you, and caress the parts of your body I desire, to finger and fondle because I can, and because every part of your body is mine.   Yeah, that’s hot.  I don’t see any downside at all there.  But this is an activity where attention is being paid.  Its quite different if you are being ignored.

Its not so hot to be sitting beside a person engrossed in a football game, that you care nothing about, and get no attention.  It is not so hot to be at the feet of a Master who is playing a video game, and all you want is your turn, so you are fidgeting and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Sometimes a full time relation is not as glamorous as the picture we paint in our heads.  Is it a slaves place to be bored and ignored, if the Master is happy?  I guess it depends on the Master and slave.  I know slaves who crave objectification, for whom being ignored is fine.  Others, not so much.  Yeah, it depends.

My solution for us is the “smoking jacket and pipe”.   That plus I do at times give up my control of our gaming entertainment.   After all, the goal is mutual happiness.  Some days, I am happy to give Izrina the controls, take her lap as my pillow and nap, while she gets her “fix” for some of her wild Skyrim addiction.  I think the real key is attention.  A Master needs to put down the remote periodically to direct, inspect, praise, and maybe enjoy a little Ds quickie.  The answer could be as simple as directing your slave to  paint or undertake some other project or hobby at your direction-something that becomes pleasure, and extends the control.  Control should be felt at all times, when you are living it.

If the picture I have painted here seems less than ideal for your personal preferences, that’s fine.  I works for us.  As I noted it earlier, “it depends”.   I couldn’t be happier and if her happy little sighs as I stroked her this evening is any indication, then she is quite happy too.  Life is too short to live for the future.   You have to find your happiness right here, right now, in the little things.  I couldn’t be more pleased.  Pleased with the home, pleased with my slave, pleased with how proud she is when she pleases me,  pleased with the comfort and love I feel when we are doing nothing special..  Odd… Just as a slave finds freedom in her chains,  I find so many special moments, when nothing special is happening.  Carpe Diem my friends.. Go make a great day!

Domination on Blogs, the quirks

I have to tell you that part of my control has to do with timing.  I will reveal information when it has the most use and impact.  If you read yesterday’s blog, you know that Monday I was unhappy but doubled down on the things I wanted addressed and yesterday was better.  I kind of released that information early though, before it had a conclusion.  I ended like this:

This evening was nice.  Tomorrow, if my expectations are met, they will be better still.  Or they might be worse.  I expect better though.

So I telegraphed my thoughts.  Problem is, my slave reads this blog too.  There is every likelihood that by those words, she might alter her behavior.  I don’t want that.   I would prefer to wait and see what kind of response I get from earlier interaction.  How else can I judge the effectiveness of my corrective application?

I am a Dominant that is very much into the pleasure of understanding my slave, and finding her buttons, and knowing how to to push them to get the results I want.   Having a blog can work both ways.  It can be a method of praise, or embarrassment.  What I write here, can influence in a very real way our relation.  I am always cognizant of this when I write here.

It is one of the quirks of having a public blog, that it work for or against your plans.  Worse, the written word is fraught with misunderstandings that just don’t as easily exist when you can see and hear a person.  A simple written: I love “this”, can cause a person to wonder:  Did I do “this” without realizing?  Was it a good thing?  Was it a bad thing ?  Is “this” a hint?  Am I supposed to be doing something?  Do I do this “thing” enough?  Do I do it too much?  Yeah, a blog can be a quirky thing, for a Ds relation.


 

For my blog followers who are wondering how this drama concluded tonight: The area I wanted corrected was handled far better than my expectations.  I am a very happy M tonight.  Even more so, because she was too busy to get to the blog to read.  Which means the things that influenced that behavior were in no way related to this blog.  Double bonus points!   Yep, I am very happy indeed.

I’m not ready to brag about what a good girl she is, or mention how pleased I am to have such an obedient and pleasurable slave, nope.  No such puffery here for her to read.  There is always time for back sliding and this particular area I am addressing is important.  If it stays attended to well, and for a period of time, THEN maybe I’ll make such comments.

OK.. maybe one little praise.  Tonight’s dinner was steak and veggies.  I pretended to be gaming while she prepared my plate.  I enjoyed the busy little dance back and forth, some pepper on this, a bottle of olive oil to add a splash to that… just back and forth attending to the plate with great care and attention to my preferences… and there it was… that love you feel that just overwhelms you.  The sense that your life is absolutely perfect, and before you is a person that completes that life, who in ever fiber of your being, just feels right for who and what you are.

Better to live in those magic small moments when nothing important happens, than to live for any imagined, great future.  Living for the future is a terrible waste of the present.  Tonight I am just incredibly pleased, and that is enough.  Carpe Diem my friends.  Go MAKE a great day!

When being a Master is no fun

That’s right boys and girls, pull up a chair and let ol’Master X learn-a-tate you.  Some days its just no fun being a Master.

If you are young and full of cum, it seems like having a slave who will serve you dinner on bended knee and then suck your cock while you watch football is something you might have to slap yourself for, just to make sure you are not dreaming.

Yeah, having a slave is great.  You can fuck her in the shower, and over the kitchen counter,  test every bit of furniture in your house, leave a spot here, a spot there,  and maybe if you are feeling naughty, test your friends bathroom together, or maybe some other semi-public place that isn’t yours.  Sure, who can get enough of that great sex, whenever you want it, however you want it?  I love the feeling of something wet around my cock when we are both feeling a bit naughty.   Its exciting.

But here is the thing.  You should not be asking for sex for the first thirty days of having a slave.  I know, you are thinking, but X, have you lost your fucking noodle?  I have this sweet young tidbit here, all firm, wet and waiting, eager to go, and you want me to just hold my dick myself and fap off??? What the fuck X?

Lets look at this three years from now.  Do you plan to be with that same wench, or are you just going to dump her when she bores you?  Come on, be honest.  You know bitches are a pain in the ass, even ones that say they want to be a slave, so do you plan on just fucking it and forgetting it, or are you thinking of actually giving something back?  Truth is, you probably want to just fuck it as long as its easy.  Hell, who wouldn’t want that.

But I am here to tell you that every relation, and I mean every freaking one, even the Master slave ones, are work at some point.  Sorry bucko… there ain’t no Disney land of fairy fucks that slave until you are bored and then go poof and disappear.  You gotta be a prick to get rid of them and guess what?  Everyone eventually knows you are a prick.  You can ride that gravy train just so long and then everyone has your number.  Everyone knows you are Sir Master asshole prick numero uno.

Look, I’m not saying you gotta give up all that fine ass to be a great Master.  I am just saying that you have to put away your teenage thinking on this one and get ready to be real about it.  Being a Master means a lot more than just getting some ass.  An acquaintance of mine has had a slave for over decade and you think every time he walks into the bedroom looking to get some, his slave is eager and ready?  Fuck no.   But he’s in charge and if he wants sex, he’s going to have some.  Even ten years later.  How many husbands get to say that?

He might say, how about if I give you fifteen minutes to get in the mood, or he might say, if you aren’t going to enjoy this, what’s the best orgasm you can give me, and still be in the mood for it?   He’s going for options they can both be happy with.  His slave isn’t the young artisan well of wetness from ten years ago, but still, that is still some good ass, and both are living up to their sacred roles.  If control, given or taken is your kink, sex is always good, when you make a Master slave relation work.


Now slaves.  You are probably wondering:  Yes X!, that’s all fine and dandy but where is my tidbit in all this diatribe?  What sage advice have you for this wet and willing slut?  Well my eager little flogger bunnies, now that we have talked about it from a Dom perspective, let’s just look at it from the other shall we?  Hmm that would be the side that looks up through shy eyelashes, and a coy smile that betray a warm and willing submission, yes?

When you first meet Mr Sir Master, the Dommliest Dom of all creation, all fierce, intimidating and just fucking hot as hell, sure you want to jump him.  Who wouldn’t want Mr bad boy to get a firm hold on you and make you his breathless sex toy?  Its perfectly naturally to want to nurse that weak kneed, wondering what he’ll do with this slave, excitement of being taken and used again, and again and again.  It’s hot, hot, hot, to find the bad boy of your dreams standing over you, rough in some ways, gentle in others, that makes your heart race, and your blood pound.  Its good to get a good pounding.  Its good to discover you are wet and willing at the drop of a hat.  There is nothing wrong with begging to be used, taken, and having it leave you exhausted, dripping, and full; satisfied to the core.

But again, that is the heat of the new Master, the excitement of sex, the smell and the love of it.  Where is he going to be in three years?   What happens when he comes in, and just wants his dinner and to watch football?  Are you going to nag?  Does the dream turn into just another crappy boyfriend?   What assurances do you have that there is more meat on the bone, than just his dick?   Is there any substance to your Master-to-be?  Does he have the other staying power, the one that holds back a temper, and puts up with your shit when your slave side is hiding?  Will he love you right on through a crisis?  Is THAT guy inside the Master you want to fuck?

Those answers can’t be found under a man.  Looking up at him is great, but don’t do it naked.  At least not at first.  The answers you seek are found standing beside him, BEFORE you’ve given consent.  If you are going to be a slave, be one, all in, nothing held back.  Make your body a gift, but don’t do it on day one.  You need time to come to that decision. You know that trust takes time and you know trust is absolutely fucking key to a Master slave relation.  Do the math.  Add it up.  Time+Trust=Answers.  You need time to evaluate this person who says they are a Master.  You need to find out if you and they are compatible.  There are worse things than being alone.

Don’t be the slave with the Velcro collar either.  The slave who is serially monogamous.  The one who had and slept with five Masters this year, but never while wearing someone else’s collar.  Oh yeah, she was like, “totally true” to those Master she served.  She was always faithful to the collar, right up until the time she took a new one.  Don’t think that shit won’t stink after a while.  If that’s the way you roll, people will come to expect it, and the Masters who come looking for you, will probably just be looking for some ass.  If you want more, expect more.


Look.  I’m talking to Masters and slaves now.  Damn, I know its hard to not go straight for the hot fuck.  We all want that.  Hell, I’ve made more than my share of impulsive choices in the past, but its behind me now.  I know better.  I not be young, but I’m still full of cum, and I can control it.  If you want to build something that lasts and keeps on getting better, you gotta step up and demand better… or walk away.  You can do that, if you don’t give in to impulse.  And if your red flags are flying, you can realize that its not the right time and place for you to be with a particular person, and just walk away.. politely of course.

Why the title and blog tonight? My slave ticked me off again. Yesterday in fact.  I wasn’t happy, she wasn’t happy.  But I stayed a Dominant.  I  laid down new expectations and doubled down on things.  She had a very hard time with her evening ritual : Daily gratitude.  When you are having a bad day, finding things to be grateful for is hard.  But she came through.  (Good girl my pet, every day we get a little better).

This evening was nice.  Tomorrow, if my expectation are met, they will be better still.  Or they might be worse.  I expect better though.  At the time it was no fun.  Looking back though, this kind of control and adjustment and new control is EXACTLY what I am about, and in retrospect, it will have been fun.  Every relation has work to be done, and if you are not with a person who can do or will do the work, then move on.