The title is just a little off topic. I was on a vanilla site and the question was asked: “What do you love about your significant other?” I thought this is easy, I absolutely love my slave-wife. But then I tried to put it into vanilla terms and that is where I found a surprise. Everything I started with was BDSM related, which in turn caused me to wonder what deeper things are there about our relation.
Some are easy to list: Caring, considerate, playful, compassionate, knowledgeable, and someone that makes a good sounding board to run ideas past. Then there are the other things which wouldn’t be appropriate on a vanilla site: she’s a masochist to my sadist, a submissive to my dominant, a SAM or smart ass masochist who gives me that back and forth playfulness which is part mental and part physical.
So yes, I didn’t hit a brick wall. Some things were just a matter of reflecting. But then I thought about how that question applies to others. There is a small danger I think in asking this question. When you question WHY you are happy, you also question IF you are happy or JUST going along rather than face changes. I fear that so much of what we enjoy is transitory, a fleeting exchange of thrills, brief moments of pleasure from mental and physical exchanges that on examination seem perhaps shallow.
But then if the little things in life are not where happiness lies, where then does it? What is big enough to be worthy of being the thing that is enough? Perhaps the problem lies in the notion that happiness should be the end goal. Maybe that’s not it at all. Maybe we need challenges, and obstacles to overcome so that we can have a sense of accomplishment. Maybe, just maybe life isn’t so simple. Maybe, if you can take life as it comes, with all of it’s ups and downs, and still face it with a positive attitude, a desire to make others smile, to be someone’s great day, AND if you can find someone to share that with, someone who will be at your side through it all, then maybe you are more rich than you realize. In this way, I do feel blessed. Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!
Living With X 