Note, this is cross published from my Dominant support group in Fetlife which can be seen here. (You will need a Fetlife account to view)
When I first proposed that a slave has three choices, I was formulating an idea that has been solidifying from years of thought. I have no power to make this a standard throughout our communities and fully expect to be rebuffed. I am OK with being at odds with traditional standards. I don’t think of this so much as a destruction of tradition, as a refinement to incorporate consent. Tradition in an effort to be real slavery, acknowledges consent but only grudgingly as that thing we don’t need to talk about. That being said, these ideas are arrived at through years of study and deliberation, and are at least worth consideration. I present here now, draft two.
THE DREAM, UNSHATTERED
It has long been the dream of many a CNC or TPE relation, to see a slave as having but one choice – the Owner they serve. I propose that there are three choices. Let’s examine why. To do so, I must first propose that a slave has three responsibilities, not one. For consideration, these are the traditional responsibilities and choices:
Responsibilities – A slave has one responsibility, to protect the property. This comes before all commands.
Choices – A slave has one choice. The Owner they desire to serve. If offered the gift of Domination, the slave will defer all decisions to the Owner they serve.
New, by Xtac
THE THREE RESPONSIBILITIES OF A SLAVE
1) Ethics – A consensual slave will do what is required by their personal ethics at all times.
2) Property – A consensual slave will protect the property that is themselves, and the property of the Owner, as long as this protection is not in conflict with responsibility one.
3) Submission- A consensual slave will obey all commands of their Owner, as long as the orders are not in conflict with responsibility one or two.
New, by Xtac
THE THREE CHOICES OF A SLAVE
1) Owner – A consensual slave will choose wisely a owner. Once this choice is made the consensual slave will make known their desire to serve, requesting the gift of Domination.
2) Responsible Obedience- A consensual slave will choose to obey. If a consensual slave determines the owners commands are in conflict with their first two responsibilities, they will choose to disobey.
3) Consent – A consensual slave may choose to exercise the power of consent, knowing that any time the power of consent is exercised, may be the last time they do so as an slave of that owner.
A DEEPER DIVE INTO THE DETAILS OF RESPONSIBILITIES
RESPONSIBILITY ONE, ETHICS
In a perfect world, we would like to think that a slave can be completely free of responsibility. Certainly as Owners we try to fulfill that desire. But it is recognized in some studies that if all responsibility is removed, ethical fiber degrades. It is therefore important that we place the burden of ethical responsibility on a slave. A slave for example should not steal if ordered to. It is important to note that the key word here is ethics, not morals. Because ethics may limit an Owners control, it is important to come to an understanding of ethics before offering a final collar.
RESPONSIBILITY TWO, PROPERTY
We often say the slaves number one responsibility is to protect the property. The truth is, a slave may damage the property that is themselves in order to uphold their ethics. Risk to the property may at times be necessary to uphold ethics. A slave may push a child out of the way of a vehicle, risking injury and death, to uphold the values and ethics they hold. It would be in poor form, for a slave to be damaged in the course of performing some noble act, and then chastised for that damage. Certainly a slave should expect a full review of their decisions, and perhaps even disagreement resulting in punishment, but the slave must none-the-less take responsibility for the property, even if it may be in conflict with the owner. If the owner orders that a body part be cut off, the slave has a clear responsibility to resist until the Owner is returned to a more sane state of mind.
RESPONSIBILITY THREE, COMMANDS
If a slave is offered the gift of Domination, they will obey with all grace, humility, and submission they possess; striving to exchange all power to the Master they serve, giving their will into the control of that Master, with as little reservation and resistance as they can muster. The owner will decide what they are worthy of. The slave will make no judgement regarding what the Owner wants or does not want. They will trust the judgements and orders in so much as these orders are not in conflict with their ethics or responsibility to protect the property.
A DEEPER DIVE INTO THE DETAILS OF CHOICES
CHOICE ONE, THE OWNER
No choice that a slave can make is more important than the Owner they would serve. If the owner you serve decides to try cutting and scarification, you had better be ready to be a slave and stand by your one choice. A slave should therefore go through the three collars, and with each one understand better the commitment they are entering into. A final collar should only be accepted if total obedience is to be agreed to. Things like hard limits and ethics must be discussed.
CHOICE TWO, RESPONSIBLE OBEDIENCE
The owner may not always be right (gasp). Or an Owner may test the slave to make sure that the slave is still acting responsibly with regards to the property and ethics. If a slave has chosen the Owner wisely, these things should not come up. A good owner will not damage the property, nor give an unethical order, and will understand an objection based on ethics and property protection.
As a side note, an interesting test arose some time ago. A slave was given an order which if followed exactly would have resulted in damage to valuable assets. This created a conflict between the slaves need to obey exactly, and the desire to protect the valued assets of the owner. Understand that by assets, I don’t mean the body of the slave but instead physical assets worth thousands of dollars. This as you might imagine caused considerable distress. The way an owner might review the judgement of the slave in this situation could go either way. One Owner might place a higher value on compliance, while another Owner might place a higher value on the assets.
It is not always clear if the right to exercise the power of responsible obedience will be a good thing or not. Certainly it might put the slave in conflict with the Owner they serve, and that is never a good feeling.
CHOICE THREE, CONSENT
A slave should first and foremost be able to fulfill the wants of the Owner. An Owner should see to the needs of the slave. Needs are not always just food, shelter, and clothing. Sometimes as we know, needs run deeper. A need may also be a gender or role based. A slave may need sex, or pain. In the order of priorities, the needs of the slave come before the Owner, but the wants of the Owner come before the slave.
It is important therefore during initial consideration of a relation, to discuss needs and wants. Since this is consensual slavery, the goal is mutual happiness. The question then becomes, will the slave need to invoke the power of consent to achieve happiness, knowing that each time may be the last time as slave of this Owner.
With consent comes the question, are you the slave that best fulfills what the Owner wants. This is a question whose answer belongs to the Owner. The Owner will make that decision. The slave must however consider before exercising the power of consent, if that will lead to the gift of Domination being withdrawn.
A slave may use the power of consent to withdraw from service, and request that the collar be removed. If the master refuses to remove the collar, there are ways this can still be done, but a slave should not remove the Master’s collar. A slave who entertains this request should be careful to do so only if the Owner has repeatedly and without repent, issued commands that violate the slaves hard limits, or their responsibilities to ethics and property. A slave should never attempt to with draw from service by deciding for the Owner if they are worthy of the gift of Domination.
You can see where I screwed up in draft one. I failed to take into account that a slave may feel so unworthy of the gift of Domination, that they attempt to withdraw from service. This can not be allowed, as it is important for the Dominant to impress on such persons that the Dominant decides their worthiness.
One more point. I could never have seen my mistakes if I had not been to a support group the other night and been among my own kind. People who write in a vacuum will always be wrong. I can not stress strongly enough the importance of community involvement, and support groups. You have to get out, to make it real.
That said, in this draft, I am getting closer to tradition, but done what I set out to.. to incorporate the value of consent into tradition. I’ll let this stand for a awhile, and see if I find any more holes.