Izrina: Alpha slave to a house guest

Recently we took in a house guest. I offered to her the opportunity to be in service to HOX. She accepted. I sat her down at our dining table with Izrina and we negotiated my intent… that Izrina would experience her first opportunity to serve me as an alpha slave.. A slave who trains and commands other slaves in service the the master she serves. It would not be our guest who was in trouble if there was an issue.. it would be Izrina for it was Izrina’s responsibility to provide good training in the ways and protocols of the house.

How did it go? In her own word, here is how our guest described her stay:

It began with a desire to see old friends, break the monotony of the times. It still feels foreign to me being welcomed with such open arms, but I was.

As all things should, it began with good conversation. Sir and I have generally always engaged in very open, honest and engaging talks. He brought to my attention I could serve him and the house. My initial feeling was one of fear, I would fail to do well.

When mentioned I would be second under his slave, my initial reaction rose my hackles but only for a second. I love these people and know they have only my best interest at heart and mean me no harm.

Sir is not like many people I’ve met. He’s not only asks you serve but makes you think. Think why and never forgets to compliment your service. His gentle ways of correction make you want to do better. Serving under his slave was no issue either for me as she is so kind hearted.


I cleaned, swept, did dishes, placed protocol dinner settings and all with a glad heart. Okay, a nervous glad heart.


Receiving often a “good girl”, hug etc. I fetched beverages, showed honors, had the opportunity to meet others at the Third Sunday Open House of HOX. I often asked if there was something I could do, as I found I wanted to please even more. Though I have my limitations physically my mind drives for more.

I leave for last I suppose the fire experience. I struggle finding words here as it wasn’t the whole defining moment but perhaps what tipped me over. I watched prior so I would know what to expect. That in itself was intimate.


My experience was as well without being sexual. I think it was Sirs commanding presence, his assured knowledge. Giving up that control, being naked infront of people I’m not intimate with. Fire took me somewhere, serving the house, Sir… It all took me somewhere, gave me the awareness I need more of this in my life.


That knowledge I brought home with me to share with tears in my eyes as I talked to my Daddy telling him what I learned about myself and what I need. I was sad to leave HOX, Sir and his slave, yet I know I will have joy in my heart when I return again.

.

Joy, sadness, and an open heart

Some tears are from sadness. Some from joy. Our lives are filled with small moments that burst upon us and fade.

Think of the taste and texture of a cookie all warm and gooey fresh out of the oven. You dunk it into a tall glass of milk, the warmth contrasted on your tongue with the cold milk. Close your eyes and you can let the sweet depth of that moment wash over you, erasing all other thoughts and feelings.. We must always strive to hold these small miraculous moments in our hearts and never forget to appreciate how truly wonderful life an be.

Some times our hearts are closed and we are not open to the experience.. but other times our hearts are open and as we watch someone experience something that pleases them intensely, we share in that moment.. we are somehow transported to a place of shared pleasure.. It is a link.. a connection.. a small quiet infinite moment filled with awe.

We had a house guest for the weekend. I ordered her to serve me, and more importantly, to serve the house for the weekend. I set her on fire, gave her moments of fear for her failure to please… and was generally demanding.

In any other world, my behavior would appear abusive and perhaps cruel. I certainly brought tears to her eyes. Not tears of joy, but tears of melancholy sadness.. because at the end of her stay with us, she would return to a life without that which she craves.

HOX open house in February warmed my heart. We saw old friends and made new ones. I paired an attractive older lady with a young submissive male and afterwards he thanked me. Really he owned that thanks to her, but I mention it because that was one of those moments. Seeing the way he lit up inside as he reflected on his evening warmed me all over. It reaffirmed for me that what we do here is important, that HOX IS a community resource and we are serving a greater cause.

It is so easy to forget how deeply meaningful these little moments can be. So many crave what they need to breath, to feel alive.

For some it is nails on skin, or the bruise they keep pressing the next day, or a voice that commands like fingers tangled in hair. Little things perhaps, but huge in the way we need and crave these things.

When submission is not a choice or a style of life, but an orientation.. and when we drink deeply from the cup of that need.. we warms us all over inside. Never forget that Domination is a gift and for some, your gift of Domination is a warm cookie, fresh our of the oven, dipped in milk, and savored with eyes closed.

Jan HOX

If you follow me on Fetlife or here then you already know that I live a Master/ slave relationship 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with my slave Izrina and that we open our home to community once a month in an event we call HOX open house.

The “House of X” or HOX open house is the third Sunday of every month. We tried other schedules but ran in to conflicts with other events. Sunday seems to be working well for us.

A dear old friend who is also a member of community came to visit this month. He was one of the seven who contributed a blessing to our vows during my slaves collaring ceremony and I am reminded of him and others every time I gaze on our shelf. The lock downs have been crazy and it has been way too long since I’ve mingled with many of my kinky friends… so yeah.. that was great seeing Wolf again!

For those worried about Covid, we did take a number of precautions..masks when not eating.. limited reservations to distance seating… alcohol and hand sanitizer stations, etc. The government hasn’t imposed crazy restrictions yet, so we’re not breaking any laws and I’m sure we’ll be no worse off than when we go shopping. In those large department stores you are sharing air with hundreds of people that already breathed what you are breathing and everyone is touching everything so I’m really more worried about my groceries than a small dinner with friends.

We had some regulars and one new, first time guest. It’s always an odd thing when you welcome a stranger into your home. There are some rather odd people out there and we are bound to run into some strange ones eventually. As it turned out he seems quite nice. On Fet he goes by the name Atomic-fox. He told us that in 2006 he had gone to some latex events in NY city but had not been to many events lately. He was interested in suspension, and particularly spanking.

I have to agree. Mmmm OTK! ~ ~ There is something especially sexy about a young lady over my knee, panties down, her bare bottom exposed for touching and spanking.. definitely hot.

Well we have a regular who is a hard core masochist. Her Fet name is Jade Kitten. She revels in taking home the “prize” of a new bruise, so I guided a negotiation between the two of them making sure Fox asked appropriate questions and understood the limits his negotiation did or did not cover.. and then we moved into the dungeon for a pleasant after dinner evening of play.

When a person who has not handled a flogger before uses one for the first time their strikes tend to be very imprecise. They wrap around to tits, and thighs and often strike high on the back of the neck. I gave Fox a little direction and frankly he did very well.

His strikes were consistent and he brought up some nice color. He clearly favored the butt over shoulder blades. It showed in the difference in coloring he applied. Her butt was quite well colored though her shoulders not so much.

I encouraged him to give her a bruise on his last three strikes but they didn’t rise up very well. Jade seemed disappointed so I have her a pair of solid strap lashes – one for each cheek – which did color and rise almost immediately.

This brings up a point think we should talk about. A slave is someone who NEEDS to be directed and serve. It is a craving and if not fulfilled, it leaves a hole in their life. My domination is a gift to my slave. This may seem hard to understand.. Hell it IS hard to understand unless you are a slave. You are looking in from the outside and it doesn’t make sense from where you stand.. I get it. You will just have to trust me when I say this: Speaking as a person with experience from INSIDE such a relationship, we are both very happy and fulfilled.

I told you that to tell you this: In the same way a slave needs a Dominant, a masochist needs a sadist. From the outside looking in, you must question why you would hurt someone you love. I get it. I would worry about you if you did not. It IS right to ask that question but again, I must tell tell you that you must be inside such a relation to “get it”. Until you serve a masochist, giving them that which they desperately want and need, it is nearly impossible to understand. It’s OK and right to question it. It is not OK however to condemn WHAT IS CONSENSUAL AND CRAVED. You do not know or feel what those on the inside of that intense and personal relation feel and therefore will be hard pressed to understand.

Consent is key.

Guests had first turn so it wasn’t until quite late when I got to do some fire-fleshing with Izrina. She went down super hard. I think her aftercare was 30 to 40 minutes before I could even start to feed her chocolate and get her on her feet again. I held her, wrapped is a fuzzy red blanket, all warm cozy and drifting somewhere else. While we waited for her to return to us, my guests and I had a long and fun conversation about all things Master and slave related.

All in all, it was a really pleasant evening. Life is good. Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!

An old manifesto

It has been many years since I wrote a long-ass piece (35 minutes to read) examining power from every angle. IF you have a Fetlife account you can read it here: https://fetlife.com/users/522698/posts/2478378

At that time I had not read the manifesto by the Unabomber but I am reading it now. It will take a while because his manifesto is very, very, very long. I’m about 30% through it.

What reading this has done however is open my eyes to this: There may be fundamental aspects of our society that are driving people towards “surrogate activity” as he calls it. Surrogate activity are goals we make up to create the sense of accomplishment. Our technological prowess may be creating feelings of helplessness, as if caught in the cogs of a giant unchangeable machine and that in turn is creating the very real desire for BDSM – both to escape or to achieve the power we feel slipping away.

I don’t expect many to read either my piece or the manifesto in their entirety. Most people don’t have the desires of philosophers or scientist who have no problem investing considerable time into investigating every perspective.

I would encourage you however to at least read a bit and skim. Interesting stuff. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/longterm/unabomber/manifesto.text.htm

Marry a slave???

If BDSM must be part of your life, and you have not already married, THEN you would accept and train a slave before EVER considered marrying them (assuming you would ever considered marrying your property in the first place). This post is for the folks who haven’t put the cart before the horse.

First the boring parts:

There is an old saying: Why buy the cow if the milk is free? So why would you marry someone if they have already agreed to be your property? Well for practical reasons mostly centered around taking better care of your slave. Any Master worth a lick cares deeply about the care and growth of their slave. As a spouse your slave is better protected regarding company benefits like health care, and inheritance, and social security, etc, etc. Plus the government has an odd way of subsidizing marriage so there are tax benefits. Then there are children. The list of pros is pretty good.

On the negative side, marriage gives your slave leverage should they decide to move towards the nilla side of relations (what I would call the dark side). A slave should NEVER have the upper hand. If you are considering marriage I would strongly recommend investing the money in a good lawyer and draw up a prenuptial agreement that allows the Master to easily exercise an exit strategy, but also provides some fiscal protection for their slave, should they decide to divorce.

But now on to the fun stuff!

A Master should never beg. That is a slave’s mindset. A slave should be appreciative for the gift of a Master’s Domination. THAT is the mindset you really want you and your slave to adopt.

Izrina for example has two rituals and ritual one is performed each day with these words: “May this slave serve the Master she loves and chooses?” This is about confirming her consent but also about reaffirming that Domination is my gift to give, something she must appreciate. When it was time for Izrina to be collared, I made it known that I would accept her request to be collared, and then she asked. Now…

With that in mind the big question becomes.. how does one propose marriage to a slave? I would say there are four possibilities:

  1. A nilla proposal in which the male gets down on one knee
  2. A nilla verson in which the Dominant proposes marriage
  3. A BDSM collaring variation in which the slave respectfully requests a proposal
  4. The Master simply orders his property to marry.

I like the fourth choice. It seems to me that a decision as large as marriage is not any different than any other decision a Master might make for a slave. It is not the size of the decision, it is the principle. Property is property and will do as told. The Master is both owner and decision maker, which in turn makes them responsible for those decisions. A Master owns decisions big and small.

But wait.. Orders may be modified by something significant.. a slaves hard limits. So now we have a new variable to be considered. Before you can order a slave to marry you, it is important to negotiate the terms of marriage.. if you didn’t during training.. which was probably the furthest thing from you mind when you first started training your slave.

Having added marriage to the negotiations of your consensual Master\slave relation the proposal becomes a formality really. I would say however that the formality is significant in the way it sets the tone of this monumental change in your relation. There is something extremely pleasing about a slave on their knees.. both for the Master and the slave. How much more significant and pleasing for a marriage agreement to be conducted in the same manner?

Obviously, this is not some kind of universal rule you must follow under penalty of death by some cabal. Its just my musing, my ideas of what makes the most sense based on my experience and what I have learned about best practices when it comes to training and mindsets between TPE/CNC Masters and slaves.

When and if I decide to marry my slave, be assured it will be her that is on her knees and not me. I love her dearly, but our roles are set. I can not and will not change them. I am her Master. She is my property. Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day.

On your knees, wench!

Last night’s open HOX was nice. The new folks didn’t show so it was a small and cozy group of regulars. That made social distancing easier which is nice what with the surge and all. We did a light bondage workshop, with a subby doing something she never did before: top someone else. Her bottom seemed quite happy.

Monday work over, and I’m back at the house. My slave greeted me at the door on her knees in a dress shirt and nothing else. Nice! Unfortunately I had to get logged right in and check on the status of work before I could do anything with that, though I couldn’t resist running my fingers through her soft pubes. There is just something about the feel, the contact, of stroking someone that is wet and willing. Sure I had to move on but you KNOW I couldn’t just let that go.

So a few minutes later I ordered a rum and coke and when she came back I order her to turn around. She couldn’t see but I had brought out a pair of handcuffs which I slipped on her. Then with the cold steel on her wrists I put her back on her knees.

Kind of hard… Yes me, but also unzipping me with no hands. Call me impatient but I decided to give her a little help with stuffing me into that wet and waiting mouth. Nothing quite compares with a little oral service at the end of a long day.. and its even better with a half naked and restrained slave on her knees.

2020 may have been a bitch but who cares when you have such a wonder wench at your disposal? Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day.

Chillin

My slave is out picking up pizza and another sub who needs a ride to this months HOX open house. The house is quiet. Princess X, our mini Dachshund is lying in wait under the table hoping for something yummy to fall to the floor. Soon we’ll be telling her to be quiet as new people she’s never smelled before, show up. The driveway lights are on, the signs are out, the dungeon is vacuumed. Nothing left to do but chill and wait for the food and guests to arrive. Funny how life is always go, go, go, … then wait.. Must be a zen thing. Life is teaching us to take it slow internally, even if we look like we are rushing.

Carpe Diem my friends. Be safe. Be someones great day, because at the end of the day, your great day starts that way.

The problem with 24×7

BDSM like any relation really, tends to settle into a comfortable routine. The trick is to swerve off the road once in a while and take a bumpy, bouncy ride down some expected route. That’s not the only thing but it sure helps.

Last night I decided I’d put my slave in her fancy cuffs, do little bondage experimenting, then have her curl up under my arm for a movie. Well, maybe not curl because once the ropes are on, curling up on your side is a little more problematic, but you get the idea.

I decided to go for something a little different this time. A little rope experimentation. Normally I just twist the ropes down the front and back and then run the rest of the rope horizontally back and forth so that it pulls the twists open and creates the lovely diamond shape you always see in rope bondage.

Not this time. This time I put the old brain into high gear and started with a loop at the bottom and worked my way up with each successive horizontal poking up into a fresh loop. That in turn created a completely new pattern. I like it. It’s a little different. I don’t recall ever having seen a pic of rope work quite like it, though I also know there is nothing new under the sun.

Here is how it came out:

I think next time I’ll combine loops in the front with diamonds in the back. Possibly just before she serves supper. Now that’s what i call formal dining!

Carpe Diem my friends! The holiday shoppers are out in droves. Take the challenge and prepare to be patient. Go out and be someone’s great day.

Sir vs Master

My slave curled up under my arm as we drift off to sleep and something came up that after reflecting on it for a while, I thought was worth sharing.

My slave calls me “Master”. I get a warm fuzzy feeling when she says “Yes Master”. I love our life together. I love her submission. There are many moments in the day when our Master / slave relation and its rituals, rules and protocols intrudes into an otherwise normal relation. Those moments often fill me with love and desire for my slave.

So as I was lying beside my slave basking in her submission, I began to think about “Master” and about our early beginnings. When she was in training, back when she was earning her slave name, she called me “Sir”. She had not yet earned the right to call me “Master”.

Our relation was new and exciting and I was always filled with those love and desire feelings whenever she called me “Sir”. Perhaps I was even more enamored with “Sir” back then because the relation was new. Then the day came when I told her that she would no longer refer to me as “Sir”. I was ready to accept her as property and she would call me “Master”.

Here is the funny part that I want to share: At first “Master” seemed hollow and empty. Reflecting on why, I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe I just got used to “Sir”? I don’t know why it happened but I know it did. There was a period where I knew that she HAD to call me “Master” but I wanted to go back to “Sir” because somehow it felt more substantial.

Second revelation: Today if she said “Sir” it would not feel as substantial as being called “Master”. I find that odd. That is the complete opposite of where I was 4 or 5 years ago.

It seems to me that a thing like this should always be what it is and should not change over time. I’ve mulled this over and really do not know why my feelings were what they were or why they changed over time. Maybe it is as simple as familiarity.

We humans do have issues with the strange and unfamiliar. I don’t know. Not really all that important but it is interesting to do these self reflections. Carpe Diem my friends. Be safe, but also be someone’s great day.

Dinner at HOX, Nov style

We probably should have served turkey and mashed potatoes right? Or is that just too USA thanksgiving? With Covid surging again my slave is more than a little worried about keeping me healthy and frankly I don’t want to be a spreader, so we did a mask mandate for the meet and greet part and for Dungeon time.

Dinner though, there is no way around it. Hopefully you are chewing with your mouth closed and that is something anyway. The table seats ten, but that would be elbow to elbow so we cut the limit to eight to open up room.

Nice crowd this month. There was an interest in knives and fire play so we did both. First a knife demo on Izrina.. I put an old dress shirt on her and cut it into strips which were then used for breast bondage before going further. Then fire play. Again Izrina first, then a lady who really, really likes her fire.

I ended with a new couple. Steve topped his bottom with fire while I instructed. He picked it up really quick. I think Ray, his bottom could easily had an orgasm from it if he kept going. Went very well.

Jade Kitten was feeling left out. I asked another new comer, Gary, if he had ever handled a flogger before. He had not. So two birds with one stone. I instructed Gary and Jade got her flogger time.

Gary being new just wasn’t going to leave marks and I know Jade looks forward to those so I finished her off with a flogger that has metal rivets in the throws. Let some really beautiful marks. Looking forward to seeing pictures of later to see if they fill in or fade.

Soooo… Another lovely evening with people coming together to do the things they love. I really love my slave, and our life. Life is good! Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!