Picking up speed

Open house last night was freaking awesome.

So many people, that parking is becoming an issue.  Its easy enough to get all the cars in but letting people out that want to leave early is a hassle since we have to park single file.  If the highway construction ever finishes, we can put the early leavers on the roadside.

First, there was tons of great food.. veggies for the vegans, meats, seafood, and salads.. plus chips, brownies, and other snack stuff.  Later I broke out the sandwich bars, plus strawberry short cake and chocolate eclair ice cream bars..   We never got to roasting smores over the fire which still had embers the next morning.    Dinner conversation was lively.   Nice mix of seasoned folks and newbies.

One gentleman in particular was interesting.. He was young, fit, and quiet but definitely interested.  Took a while to get to know he was hetero, into Ds and interested in rope.

Tickle Boy did a very nice foot fetish scene in the bedroom, while ImpishSoAndSo gave our young hero a 101 workshop on the finer points of rope.

Mistress Muroidea who is still in training and up until now has only been able to practice on the male gender finally got the opportunity to get her sadist kink on with a bunny of the same sex.. very hot stuff.. both for her and to watch.  She got in a little cane work, some flogging, and some Florentine practice..  I was very happy for her.  She nearly floated as she bounced out to her car.

Deka manned the grille and did a marvelous job.  He rolled in with a big cooler filled with meats and seafood.. all his donation…  There is tons left over.. He kind of went overboard on the supplies..  but no one left hungry that’s for sure.

We played a little with the violet wand.. just some demo…  Izrina threw in some boot blacking for those interested.  I finished the evening with a little fireplay for Izrina.  She must have really been needing it because she dropped so hard into subspace that she didn’t even twitch when I ran chocolate under her nose…

I didn’t even bother to dress her.. just spooned her into bed and let her crash.  The events at HOX are definitely picking up speed..  Good times!

Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day.



So here it is, the new HOX (House of X) St Andrews..  all ready for those fun evenings with my slave and friends.


But wait!  There’s more.. notice high up on the black back rails there are two threaded fittings… and what is the X on the floor for MasterX?

Glad you asked.  those are legs.  When you flip the whole thing down it becomes a station for fireplay or violet play!


Yup!  Life just keeps getting better and better!

Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!

A teaser….

As I mentioned, the St Andrews is coming along beautifully..  but its slow going due to the detail work..

A little teaser.. we just finished detailing the trim that goes around the Fire\Violet wand table it becomes when its laid down.

The trim is done in Red Mahogany stain with green and gold inlaid highlights.  Once the urethane covers it, this should really pop!



Carpe Diem my friends.. Be someone’s great day!

All things, Saint Andrews

I had a request to provide a “How to” for making a St Andrews cross.

What’s in a Name? – The St. Andrew’s Cross, crux decussata, X-cross, X-frame or saltire cross is a common piece of equipment in BDSM dungeons. It typically provides restraining points for ankles, wrists, and waist. When secured to a saltire, the subject is restrained in a spreadeagle position. 

St Andrew was the first disciple of Jesus Christ, being baptised by John the Baptist, and he was the brother of Saint Simon Peter. He was born between 5 AD and 10 AD in the Middle East where Palestine is now, specifically in Bethsaida, a village on the Sea of Galilee.  When he refused to stop preaching Christianity, he was ordered to be crucified.  It is said that he requested an X-shaped one as he felt unworthy to die on an upright one like Jesus did.

A funny story… Many years ago I was in a dungeon which is now gone.. another victim of nilla’s with pitch forks and torches.   The Saint Andrews cross I was using was securely fastened to the wall in a converted factory…. but the wall was just an eight foot high divider and when my slave started to thrash about the wall began to move.. a lot.. which caused the owner to peak in to see what the hell was going on…  He just shook his head and backed out of the room again.   On our next visit the Saint Andrews had been moved to a more secure wall.

There are many ways you could do this, but whatever you do make sure your Saint Andrews can withstand the temors of a great scene.  That means stable, anchored, and hardware with good ratings.

You can dress this up further as I will point out in a future post.  A lower back pad at the center is a nice touch.  For me the main point to this “furniture” is two fold.  First, it starts the scene in a lovely head space and second, it is there to catch a slave when they start to subspace…so use good wrist cuffs.


A picture is worth a thousand words..




I used 2″ X 6″ boards, stained with Red Mahogany on the “X”, and painted the supporting rails in a diminutive slate grey/black so the “X” pops.

Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!

BBQ time! Play time in the playroom!

We had a lovely Fourth of July Collaring celebration and before the summer passes its time for one last big BBQ/get together.   Good food and lots of it…good company and lots of it… good play..  yeah!

The firepit has a new breather pipe to keep a stack of logs burning all night.  Fill the Tiki lights and we’ll have a great hangout.. besides the two decks, playroom and scenic/celebration area.   I’m building a rather lovely St Andrews for the play room.  I’ll put up pictures soon.  In the up right position is looks like a regular St Andrews, but screw in two heavy steel pipe legs and it flips down to become a table for Violet and fire play.

My daughter flew in from California for two weeks and its been a whirlwind of activities – between work, time together, and the HOX projects.  She has always leaned towards being a Dom, and now that she has a new boyfriend who has expressed an interested in BDSM it will be interesting to see how that relationship develops.   BDSM does not define her life as it does the lives of my slave and I..  so it will be interesting…

If being a Dom or a submissive is more of an orientation than a kink.. you would never find someone you like first and then see where if BDSM could be part of your life.   You would find someone that is into BDSM, and then see if that person could be part of your life.  But you probably already knew that… just stating the obvious.

I am really, really happy with the new BDSM furniture.   the playroom needs a lot of work, so for now we’ll just put a carpet remnant on the floor, and some drapes on the walls.  Can’t wait to put up the pics..   I have my slave doing some fine detail/paint work on the table edging and I have some other final touches to complete.. maybe another week and its ready.. just in time for people to play during the BBQ…  Life is good!

Carpe Diem my friends..  Be someone’s great day.



Dominant – “Being” vs Title

A long car drive home from a mini vacation and as often happens the subject was BDSM related.  “My best friend”, I said, “is a Dominant but he doesn’t want to be called that.”  An argument ensued.

The point which I tried to make repeatedly was that there are Dominant characters all around us but they don’t call themselves a Dom.  Dominance is a behavior, as found in Wolves.   Finding an Alpha in a pack is something I believe without question, so to defend that position was annoying.

In the end we agreed that there is “A Dominant” which is a title in BDSM and there is “being Dominant” which is a behavior.   It was suggested that the way I said it meant that he was the “title” version but just didn’t claim the title.  What ever.  I think people just like to argue too much.  Words are meant to communicate a concept but we can’t even agree on what the words are saying mean anymore.

Just to be clear at this point, I was in the car with my slave and three other young ladies.  Youth!  Maybe there was too much estrogen.. or too much youth.

There is however a point to this conversation worth noting.   The actions of being Dominant (verb) can be quite different from the person who claims to be a BDSM Dominant (noun).

There is no one size fits all definition for a BDSM Dominant.  I often describe Dominance and submission as a dial with setting from 1 to 100.   At one end of the scale is the setting of “1” where the domination is barely noticeable.   At the 100 setting, you are into a TPE (total power exchange) or CNC (consensual non-consent) relation.  The odd thing about the 100 setting is, once total power exchange is agreed and consented to, there are many settings within the 100 settings..  These are the depths of IE – internal enslavement – the valley through which every TPE couple walks.  It can be a terrifying and mystical time, as a Master guides their slave in the fight to find out what identity means when the mind and body are simply an extension of the Master served.

At the setting of 100 while dealing with IE, there can be no confusion between the verb of Dominant and the noun of Dominant.    Or can there be?   At 100 there is no confusion about desire or intent.  A TPE Dominant is driven by passion and focused on a need for submission.  The action of dominance is the air we breath.   Action and being are one.  So what does that say about the other settings?

It is a slippery slope to judge a person at setting 25 to the person at 100.  Each desires a degree of Domination over another.  Each takes a certain degree of pleasure in that role.  Both are dominant to the relation, but to call oneself a “Dom” requires a mental shift.. an internal decision to embrace the role.   Just as you can take a dominant role in a relation without calling yourself a Dom, as my friend does… you can also call yourself a Dom without fully embracing and acting on the requirements of being Dominant in your relationship.  The latter of course muddies the waters, and I would hope this doesn’t happen too often.  The latter is to be avoided.

Also to be avoided is the submissive who wants all the benefits of having a Dom care for them, without actually wanting to obey commands.  These are the lazy and broken ones.. good at doing just enough to avoid getting the boot, but always creating challenges.   If you are a new Dom and have not learned this yet, learn it quickly.   It has to be your way.  You can compromise and be tolerant just so much before you are not being who you need to be.. When you come to this crossroad you have to be prepared to ask yourself ..  Am I not being Dominant, or have I taken on a submissive who does not fit my needs? – And CAN I fix him or her?   Hard questions  but don’t be afraid to face them.  Sometimes you have to let go of what seems right, to actually find what is right.

What is the difference between being a Dominant and claiming the title?  Everything.  Anyone can claim to be a Dom just as anyone can claim to be a slave.  You will know a person by their actions not their words.

When you find what is right for you, as I have, you will know it.  Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!


A nightmare

I was sound asleep and woke from a disturbing dream.  I was with two friends and we had this idea for a thought provoking film.   We didn’t want to make a big deal of it. just a little something but we needed a location.   So we approached another friend for the location and we cranked it out.

Then it sat, and sat, and sat.  No one was getting to see it.  Folks who could help get it distributed didn’t like the message.. and wanted changes.  Wind of the project became a huge story with people taking sides and fighting.  At one point there were a dozen people in a room with me all fighting.. some wanted creative control, some wanted credit or a billing, some wanted a piece of the profits… it was a mess…  and I said I just wanted to walk away.  What was happening was not what I wanted.

I woke and thought.. I bet the movie industry is like that.  Then I thought about a book I’ve wanted to write for quite some time and I thought of all the ways my book idea could quickly become a nightmare much like my disturbing dream.

I began to wax philosophical, thinking in broader terms.  It seems that no matter what you say, some people are prepared to pounce on your words, dissect them and then start an argument.   Even people I love dearly from the community are often quick to do this.

Certainly it benefits one government when discontent is sown into the fabric of an enemy government. It was suggested that Russia took out ads to sow discontent between races, ages, genders and such in the US but was that even necessary?  Aren’t people already predisposed to tear at each other over fundamental principals they hold dear.. be it religion, economics, form of government, discrimination, past wrongs, etc?

My mind turned to John Lennon, who was gunned down for no particularly important reason and who only wanted to suggest that love was the answer to all these questions I am raising now.

Love really is all we need.  In a utopian sense, it would be nice if the world placed love and kindness for all life on this planet high up our priorities list.  I realize though that one man, or woman, cannot change the world.  Oh, I know some have tried and their words have been written down and millions have tried to understand and follow their teachings but no matter how pure a person’s intention to make better the world, there will never be agreement.  We must each listen to council, to the words of those that make sense to us, and decide for ourselves what is right.  That’s where everything begins to fall apart.

Every religion has split into factions.  Every government.  Every group.  Every expert who ever existed or will exist will be challenged, debated, contradicted, attacked.  Its a nightmare.


Izrina and I just came from a munch yesterday.  You can ignore almost everything above.  I started out not wanting to go, but I also know how every one of these munches or dungeon trips goes – so we went.   When I get among my own kind, the conversations turn interesting and spicy and soon I don’t want to leave.

I love the folks I hang out with.   Sure we have our debates but the people I tend to prefer are more optimistic than pessimistic, more flexible than intractable, in short.. good people to be around.

When you project pessimism like I did at the start of this, you draw more to you.  Erase erase!.  Think positive and you make positive.  Making a better world for everyone is more complicated than just love.  Its also about optimism and maintaining a child like appreciation for the wonders around us.   More important than any of that though is what we focus on and hold in out hearts.

I am very happy now with where I am in life.   I have a wonderful slave.  I have good friends in community.  I am in a time and place where I can live my life without interference the way I want.  Perhaps I cannot be as open or honest about my life as I would like but I think the future can be better.   We just have to focus on that love thing together.  Carpe Diem my friends.  Be someone’s great day.




So much food!

After three weeks of preparations, we finally got to the Fourth of July and the celebration…. the renewal… of our vows.   Part of me wants to publish the vows here, and part of me wants to keep it sacred.. something we share with those in our presence…

Each time we read our vows I am moved.  Moved by how each word fits perfectly into how I feel about this Master/slave relation.  I suppose part of why I want to share is pride but also there is a feeling that more people might be moved and inspired to make their collaring event as special as they can.

We stood in our magical spot, surrounded by friends that we love so dearly, the area freshly blessed….. nothing but  good energy….   and we shared.   Then we feasted.

So much food!  While the food on the grill heated up we served ratatouille.   This all vegetable dish is filled with big chunks of all kinds of veggies.. not too soft and not too firm…  each bite a different delight for the pallet and taste buds.   Seafood salad and of course the ever present coleslaw and potato salad, with a little macaroni salad thrown into the mix.  Chips and beverages of all sorts.  People mingled on the upper and lower decks or out by the roaring fire that Beowulf built.   A steady stream of carnivore delights flowed off the grill, graciously provided and carefully attended to by Deka.  Dogs and burgers of course, but also chicken breasts with or without BBQ sauce,  ribs and brisket.

The smell drifted over the scene, calling people who were already full to come and sample just a little more.  We finished off three bottles of wine.   Later, as people began to plan for the drive home, we broke out some frozen treats..  chocolate or strawberry eclair pops…  a fun little thing to cap the evening.

I like to think everyone left a little fatter and a lot happier, wrapped in the warm glow of good company and lively conversation.   I’ve already posted the event in Fet for next year.   Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!

A celebration

Fourth of July will be our first yearly collaring celebration.    What does that mean?   It means we’ll renew our vows.  Not really a startling concept.  A Master I knew used to have a yearly contract with his slave that was renewed each year.

Renewal, like spring, is not a bad idea.  It is very easy to get caught in rut doing the same things every day until nothing is fresh and everything starts to slip and slide.  Doing a reset.. a renewal.. reminds us why we started this journey together.

The setting of this celebration is our own little slice of paradise.




We’ll start by offering to hear others give a brief renewal.. of their love, or slavery, or marriage.  The type of vow is not as important to this celebration as the sharing with friends of our connections.

Then Izrina and I will repeat our vows.. the ones forever locked in our ceremony keepsake, surrounded the by the sands and blessing of our dear friends.

And finally, in case anyone was moved by the events so far and regretted not stepping up sooner, we’ll offer one last time the opportunity to give a brief renewal.

Then, we will feast.   Weather permitting we will start a large bonfire, and enjoy the night, surrounded by the love and warm.  And we will think of those we have known that have come into our lives and could not share today… but all will be in our hearts.

Carpe Diem my friends… Be someone’s great day.


Like a frightened turtle

Or this might have been titled.. Skinny dipping with Master…

Last weekend we went to a lovely BBQ with our Kinky friends and as the mid-afternoon sun really started to heat up I thought we should head down to the watering hole and enjoy a cool dip.

We had not brought our bathing suits but nudity is not really an issue in the dungeons with our friends so why should this be any diff?

Well, long story short.. very short.. because the water was cold… VERY cold… which of course ensures things are really short…  Ever seen the Seinfield episode?


George – Do women know about shrinkage?

Elaine – What do you mean, like laundry?

George – Nooooooo    ( long meaningful stare )

Jerry – Like when a man goes swimming.. (long meaningful pause)  afterwards…..?

Elaine – ( Looks surprised ) It shrinks?

Jerry – Like a frightened turtle!

Of course I shucked my clothes right away.. I have no problem with my body and its good to make the others feel comfortable.  But what does a Master do, knowing that he is going to slip into water knowing that everything is going to be absolutely freezing.. while naked?

I dipped in a toe and it was worse than cold.  It was freaking freezing.  I found a nice spot where the water ran around a large rock ledge and created a nice deep back pool and slipped in.

I said quite loudly…. “It suddenly warmed up over here!.. Oh wait.. never mind it got cold again.. Must have been me.”  I got a few knowing chuckles.  After about five minutes I was either warming up or going numb.  Couldn’t really tell any more.  Either way it was bearable after that.

The trek back winds through an old quarry that is barren, rocky, hot and feels like death valley.  Someone asked if we were sweating yet.. not a chance…. My legs were just starting to warm up again.  In fact they stayed cold for a good 20 mins after I got out.

And did I give it another thought?  Did I worry what anyone thought?  Of course not.  Life is too short to worry what other people think.. All I need to worry about is what my slave thinks… and that she is happy.  I would say she is quite happy.

Carpe Diem my friends…  Be someone’s great day.