Sub vs Slave
What is the value of a word if that word has no value until the person using it personally defines it? Welcome to the complex world of subs and slaves. ~Xtac Quote
I am NOT going to discuss the difference between a sub and a slave. What I am going to do is point out that no clear definition exists. There is no governing body for BDSM. No one can issue an edict, declaring this is what we mean.
There are some that just hate these terms, or “labels”. I am not one of those people. My slave is a slave. We understand what that means. It works for us and we are happy. I would love to just say, this is what a slave is. Really. I have strong feelings about what it means to me.
In a funny way, I too have come to hate the labels of sub and slave. Not because I don’t love a submissive person. Not because I don’t have a deep an abiding passion for the incredible commitment to obedience that comes of a slave. Not that I don’t think there are “true” slaves out there. I have come to loathe these terms because in the effort to personalize them, to make them our own, to say what they mean to us personally, they have lost all meaning.
The great Greek philosopher Aristotle, thought that slavery was a natural thing. He never provided a method of determining IF a person was a natural slave, but that did not stop him from arguing that if the world was just, legal slaves would be freed, and natural slaves would not. In essence, he was setting the stage for consensual slavery some 2,400 years ago. (Aristotle -384–322 BC).
The desire, the need, the natural inclination to be in service has long been recognized. What makes a person a slave though begins a slippery slope of endless debate. I don’t care to start that debate again, here. Some definitions are a fools errand. I am tiring of this discussion.
Its a shame really. We all know that the desire to serve comes in varying degrees and that some definition should separate those at the lower level from those at the higher, but we also will never agree on definitions. As I am typing this, I am thinking, someone somewhere will argue with me on that last “lower/higher”level comment. The thought makes me what to just scream: “Oh for the love of God just shut up!” Just because you don’t want to be put on a lower or higher level, to be placed in some “horrible category by my words” does not make the statement untrue. For some it IS a gentle desire, and for others it is NOT a lifestyle choice, it is their orientation, a very strong need. I can’t budge on that one. People ARE different, and their level of desire for this is real consideration.
Is it disrespectful to label you? Yes! But it is equally hurtful and disrespectful to say to a person who has self identified for 30 years, who has decades of friendships and warm memories of being a slave, to tell this person to rethink how you describe those 30 years! Or a Master. Or a Mistress. I understand that we all just want to get along, but I angers me to see loving, hard core people bite their tongue because they are better, respectful people who Do want to get along.
I find the titles, or labels if you prefer, of sub, slave, Master, Mistress, to all be a warmly loved thing. I like subs. They are lovable and often cute. Slaves feed my deeper needs. My property is a slave. She wears this proudly. She demonstrates this in her every action. What makes her a slave for me is her single minded determination to be obedient to the degree that a legal slave would be, but do it as a natural consensual slave. It warms both of us, to be Master and slave. I don’t want to argue about what that means, I want to bask in it, and share the warmth. I want to be able to tell the world, this works for us, and it has meaning. This is what a Master and slave should be. Sigh. I hate that I am starting to hate titles.
Living With X 