Behavioral training – is it consensual?

Tonight, I wanted to write about training Dominants.  My slave changed my mind. So this is partly about training Dominants to be better at behavioral training, but also, its about how that training is or isn’t consensual.

Some things you can’t teach people.  I have seen very mousy people announce that they want to be a Master or a Mistress, and though a whip was placed in their hand, and stypes volunteered to be the instrument of their training, this was not always successful.

It is hard to teach a person to be confident, to stride into a room with the calm authority that projects that you own it, but not be so cocky that you set people off against you.  Charm, grace, humor, charisma.. ah charisma, a super power if ever there was one… these can be demonstrated, and even worked at, but they are subtle and difficult to create in one that does not already have them.

But my friends, the art of Domination is also a science. Yes, I know it sounds cold to say it this way, but that makes it no less true.  You can teach anyone about the motivations that are behind being a slave, and to identify slave desires and needs, and to feed that need until you become a Master yourself… or a better one.

As I was researching  I shared with my slave some of my thoughts and observations. The word brainwashing came up, and she was emotional.  Surely I would not condone something that removed consent?  Ah, I replied, it is no different than to be madly in Love.  Where does your consent go, when you have lost the ability to be rational about your love?   

But she had a point, and intelligent one as she always does, so this my dear canvas, is for you.  No, I would not remove your consent, but I have and will change what you like, and dislike.  I will change you to the degree that you will not want to remove consent.

Before we look at what behavioral training should be, let’s look at what it should not be.

The CIA is known to have tested mind control after some freedom of information requests leaked out their stuff. They spent millions over many decades.  When it became public, all records were ordered destroyed. Then they announced that forty years of research was wasted and had gotten no where. See MKULTRA

Similarly, another group tried to establish that brain washing was real.  It was part of an effort to control what the moonies and other cults were doing and that too was struck down as “not real”.  See APA Task Force

In other words, the government refuses to acknowledge that there may be tools to lower or remove a persons ability to revoke consent. But they do acknowledge the Stockholm Syndrome.   Now THAT is real.  How very odd… don’t you think?

That being said, the afore mentioned control methods where based on non-consensual behavior modification, something that is written into the bedrock of BDSM, as forbidden. Thank God the government says it doesn’t exist or we’d have problems, don’t you think?


Fear not all of you knowledge hungry, nerds with a pension for research, and an unquenchable thirst to be better at what you do (like me).

The BEST method is based on Adlerain Theory but I like to think it also incorporates some Reality therapy, which at the heart of it, is about realizing your real desires and needs and then strategizing to realize these goals. Put another way, BEST is about making sure you know that you want to be a slave, then helping you achieve it. Much better than non-consensual brainwashing, I would say.


This all brings me back to the notion that we Dominants need to be better at what we do by the collection of objective analytical data, which moves forward the processes we use now.  What we are doing now is talking in forums and support groups and learning by trial and error, and using gut instinct.  But don’t knock gut instinct.  Many sadists don’t know the science behind the concept of the endorphin lader, but that does not prevent them from doing it intuitively.

I packed a lot into this short post.  I did it with many, many links.  If you want to research my line of reason, follow the links.  I think this is one of the most comprehensive, well laid out arguments I’ve made to date, for better Dominant training.. of course I do.. I’m a Dtype, with a tip of the hat to that valuable property and asset I like to slave.  Sweet dreams my pet..Master still has work to do.