I’ll tell you what a slave is

I read these two comments recently on Fetlife:

A blog is just one person’s point of view and may not be wise to follow. Blogs are equal to online public journals. Usually has very limited educational value, nor may be even possible to do.

Well.. I don’t take the random pontificating of internet blogs very seriously.

Awesome!  I agree.  In a blog I get to say what I think and not water down my feelings into pablum so that I can meet the approval of the masses.  Who ever said the masses are right?  Not me! Time to pontificate. I am feeling like poking the bear.  I have a slave. I have friends with slaves.  I think I have a fair idea what makes them slaves.  We have decades of warm feeling wrapped around this knowledge.  We all have some knowledge of legal slaves.  Like the war captured sex slaves of the middle east.  So here we go..

What is a legal slave:  A slave is property, as defined by the laws of the land the slave is held in, and like any other property it has no rights, that are not granted by those laws.  Its sole purpose is to work for its owner, and to please its owner. 

If legal, the property known as a slave may be damaged by the owner.

The obedience of the legal slave is determined by fear and intimidation and the knowledge that the laws of the land provide no recourse, no path to freedom.

What is a consensual slave: A consensual slave is a person who, for their personal needs and happiness,  makes the choice to exchange power with an owner, and then to the best of their ability demonstrates in their every action and decision, a single minded determination to be obedient to the degree that a legal slave would be, but do it as a natural consensual slave.

The first responsibility of the consensual slave is to “protect the property”, even if that means disobedience to the owner.

The obedience of a consensual slave is driven by their “natural slave personality”, and the attraction they feel towards the power and skill of the Master they choose.  The Master crafts this by managing the mind, not the body, of the slave.

  What is a natural slave?:  Over 2,000 years ago, the great Greek philosopher Aristotle, thought that slavery was a natural thing. He never provided a method of determining IF a person was a natural slave, but that did not stop him from arguing that if the world was just, legal slaves would be freed, and natural slaves would not. In essence, he was setting the stage for consensual slavery some 2,400 years ago. (Aristotle -384–322 BC). 

We may infer that all consensual slaves, are natural slaves, by their desires and needs.  Aristotle had a low opinion of natural slaves, seeing them more as cattle then people, but  we must remember that his legal system would have treated them as such.  I think that part of his thinking we can quickly dispense with.


When a Master loses their temper

Absolute power corrupts absolutely -It has been said that absolute power corrupts absolutely.  You may think that being a Master is all you need to get everything you desire from another human being but human beings are funny things.  A person may say they will give you absolute control over everything but their right to continue to consent, doesn’t mean they will.  It doesn’t really work that way.  There can be children and ex-spouses, and old significant others, and finances, and deeply held religious beliefs to navigate.  There can be feelings about sexual acts, humiliation, privacy, planning, micromanagement and a million other things people want to retain some level of control over. Consensual slaves need to be happy, or consent is revoked.

That being said, being an owner of consensual property is a huge rush.  The sense of power is quite delicious for those who appreciate such things.  When a Master wants something that the slave does not, a skilled owner brings to bear a number of people skills to reshape that resistance.  But skilled or not, the sense of power can create the desire to just be done with it, to order a thing rather than work at it.  It comes down to just getting your way, or managing happiness.   The sense of power can go to your head.  If you do this, you have dropped all pretense of being a real Master, and you have lost control. You must ever be mindful to manage the mind, not the body of the slave. ( you can quote me ).

Losing control-You should know when you have lost control.  When you lose your temper, you have lost all control.   You have lost control when you turn to intimidation over persuasion and charm.  You have lost control when you think, how do I make her do this instead of how do I make her like this?  You have lost control, when you walk away from your side of the dynamic.  You have lost control when you give credence to the notion you can not be depended on to stay in charge.  You have lost control when misbehavior results in the slave getting their way.  You have lost control if you always respond to a problem by getting more involved and this is used to control you. Visa-versa, walking away from issues instead of getting more involved should displease you (control freaks want control). The worst of these though is losing your temper. Without a calm and clear head, you cannot observe all the other areas and considerations of control.

Why would you do that? – The buck stops here!  If you are in control, act like it. Take responsibility for your decisions and your people skills.  Failure is a sign of effort. Any effort by a slave means you have something to work with.  Nudge those failures into learning experiences.

When consent is lost – When consent is lost, you have lost a different kind of control but even that can be managed with a cool head. If you face this issue, the first thing to do is stay in your role and wait. Staying in your role and waiting is putting control on hold, not losing it.   Just because your stype is not staying in their role is no reason for you to stop too.  Stay and wait for them to return.  Calculate your response for that time.  Make it unpleasant, but in a way that heaps on self directed embarrassment and shame rather than punishment.  Make them punish themselves for leaving the role.  Its your job to craft the mind set so love your role or leave it.  Don’t keep your slave in service to a part time owner.  Let go if you can’t or aren’t going to step up.