The joy of a collar ( Year Three )

On July 4th, 2018 in the company of friends and with blessings from many, my slave received her final a collar.

This was our second renewal, and our third collaring celebration. Though the rose ceremony may be more dramatic, I chose the sand ceremony for the way it brings so many together in such symbolic and beautiful ways..

Since we are very big into meditation, and Tantric meditation in particular, we used colored sand.. one for each of the chakras. My slave read her vows to me from a small scroll which was placed into our bottle, and I did the same. Then friends and community leaders provided a blessing and poured their sand over our vows.. red, orange, etc. The result is that our vows are forever sealed, surrounded by the blessings or our friends.

The bottle sits on display in the dining room. Next to the bottle are two replica scrolls. These are tied and sealed for a year. On the fourth, we open them and read again the vows we gave.

It is funny, but after a year it can be difficult to recall what was written. When we open them, it is like discovering anew what we promised.

You know that thing that happens when someone is overcome with emotion? and tries very hard to compose themselves to continue speaking but has difficulty continuing?

Yeah.. that happens. It can be a very charged and powerful moment.. filled with the energy of our love and devotion.. amplified by those in the crowd caught up in the moment. You can feel the way the energy of that moment just lights up the area.

We encourage others to profess their appreciation for their slave, sub, owner, Master, partner. Often people are unprepared. or shy. This year however we were joined and I have to say the the feeling of persons professing the appreciation for their partner is something to be experienced.

Words cannot properly express what the heart feels at moments like these and the joy can be infectious..

I look forward to years to come.. with more and more people choosing to do a collaring.. or a renewal or join us in speaking up to express a special bond. So often there exists between those in the BDSM community incredible bonds that should be recognized.

Afterwards we enjoyed some food, snacks and beverages and put the Dungeon to good use. It was a real joy to lay hands on again. It is a delight to dance again after such a long hiatus.

Next year’s event is already posted. We will start just a little later to give more time for the day to cool down, the sun to start setting, and the fire and pathway lights to be more enjoyable..

We were blessed to be joined by so many wonderful people. From the bottom of my heart.. thank you for sharing this moment with us. Carpe Diem my friends.. be someone’s great day!

Pampered Pet Part 2

My slave was bent over before me waiting and I was already hard. Restrained to the bed, she awaited whatever came next. I turned to our travel bags and pulled out one of my favorite floggers and smiled. This was probably not the romantic get-away she had envisioned… but then that is the interesting part of being a slave.. you never know what the Master will desire from you… next.

(Part 2 is a continuation of this)

The sound of leather on skin reverberated through the huge bedroom, bouncing off the walls and ceiling high overhead. I wasn’t worried about disturbing guest in the rooms next to us. The bedroom was sunken…nearly a whole floor lower than ground level and that meant the walls were almost certainly concrete. Part Dungeon, part boudoir, the setting was perfect for the weekend of debauchery I had planned.

My slave moaned softly as my leather strikes caressed her skin and my cock twitched in anticipation of using the wet and willing slave before me. I threw the flogger to the side, perhaps a little too anxious to mount her.

I took her from behind, thrusting deep. I grabbed a shoulder, wanting something more substantial than hair. I have a hungry beast inside. It waits for moments like these and I have no desire to put the animal back in its cage once unleashed.

In my younger years this would all be over shortly but these days it takes more time for the sweet soul-wrenching sensation of pending orgasm to flood over me.

Some call the orgasm a “little death”. Certainly we lose all sense of ourselves when gripped by this incredible pleasure we simply call sex. So it was that we found ourselves exhausted, and in each others arms…. round one complete.

I fed her chocolate covered strawberries, dipped in heavy whipped cream and we sipped wine… for a bit. A familiar swelling signaled round two. I grabbed her by the throat, fucking her savagely. I like to ride my toys hard…

It was late.. I put the strawberries in the fridge, and passed out but a friendly familiar throbbing woke me. So I woke her.. with something hard and hungry.. And that was round three.

Not sure why… I couldn’t sleep after that. My exhausted slave slipped easily back into sleep but I browsed my phone..started this blog, then got up to retrieve the heavy whipped cream from the fridge. I woke her a second time.. and placed her between my legs.

The cream was cold against my skin, but a clear invitation to my slave to clean my body with her tongue. She did so efficiently and I encouraged her to add more.

A coy smile from between my legs, she dove into the game, spreading cream over my cock, thighs, and stomach… Such fun.. to give this slutty little slave a moment of creative control.. A moment where she was allowed to indulge briefly in the love she has for the Master she serves.

My cock pulsed and throbbed under her very talented tongue and she sucked on me hungrily. I threw her onto her back then and started round four of pounding the pussy that is mine.

There comes a time when the well is dry. She came quickly enough but I hovered on that edge… feeling my balls tighten and the rush of orgasm only seconds away… but never quite made it there.. I promised her she would deliver what I missed in the morning.

The get-away included a breakfast.. We did some souvenir shopping, packed the car, and took one last visit to our room. I had promised after all..

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I placed her on her knees like a good slave. She took my cock into her mouth.. It is her pleasure to serve. Licking, and sucking, my slave can easily be rewarded with a mouthful of Master’s cum in minutes. The only question is.. do I finish with a forceful handful of hair or not.

I do love a handful of hair. I love to pull her down onto me with a grip on her shoulder or tits. She swallowed and licked her lips. Master was pleased..

Back to the car.. I put some music on and we started the long drive home… Her pussy she tells me is sore.. not last night.. but now.. Pampered? Pounded? It’s all the same to us.

Carpe Diem My friends.. Be someone’s great day

A little slave pampering

i love my slave the way that I love my Mustang and Jeep. I beat all three pretty hard when I play with them but then I lovingly clean them up for next time.

My slave was looking forward to our getaway in the Poconos and was especially loving..curled up against Master at every chance.

She presented herself in a very nice dress which I had her display for me in a number of poses. Very sexy but the panties had to go.

I pressed her up against the wall at every opportunity taking advantage of her exposure. I like running my fingers under her skirt. I love when my property is wet, teased, excited, and anxious for more of me.

Dinner was delicious. Both for the exquisitely prepared meal as well as the slow torture of her building tension.

In the fields outside, deer that were nearly tame are grazing. A mother and her two tiny babes.. The fawns are still covered in white dots and hid timidly behind mom. So cute!

We walked past these, a gift shop, and a bar on our way to our room. I ordered ice and strawberries for our room then cracked open a bottle of strawberry moscato.

We retired to the jacuzzi and relaxed a bit before the main even. In the bedroom, a round bed. Above, a black ceiling with “star lights” that twinkled.

I had her kneel and put on her cuffs. We pulled a rope under the mattress creating anchor points and I bent her over the bed, securing her to it.

Phone battery getting low…more to come later…






Continued here


About a week ago, I stopped reading the news. Before that I was tense, and miserable. I felt like everything was wrong and I had to get involved, do my part to some how to fix the madness.

One week later and I am living in paradise...

Up fresh from a good pounding on my pussy… yes mine because I own her body and mind… a fresh cup of tea and I am feeling really good. While my slave learns to walk again, I am reflecting.

Yesterday was just as good, but first a little about why… I’ve always had a fantasy about a slave at work.. a secretary or personal assistant that serves coffee, sorts the mail, and then gets under the desk to provide some Oral Service.

There is something quite pleasing about the idea of a selfless servant obediently bobbing up and down on your cock as you clear your inbox… until that time when you can’t concentrate because you know that you are just seconds away from filling that warm willing mouth full of cum.

Thank God for work at home and a home office. I stuck my slave under my desk and it was so good she had to swallow twice!

If you call yourself a Master or an Owner and you can’t order this when you want it or where.. (if in your opinion it is an acceptable risk).. then either you are not a Master or they are not a slave.

A slave is there to be used. Why you might want to own a slave.. and then not exercise your will to fulfill your desires is beyond me. A slave is to be an extension of your will. They may be a girlfriend or wife but if you think that is who they are.. you miss the point. .

You have to understand the basics. OK.. I played an adult BDSM game yesterday and there was a scene where the tables are turned and you come under the control of the woman you are seeking to control.. I HATED getting through that part of the game.

It runs against the very core of my being to be totally under someone else’s control and therein lies the thing. My slave is exactly the opposite of me. Everything I am not, she is. Your perspective and theirs are not the same. Just as you have your core.. the center of who and what you are.. so too do others.

To take on a slave.. and then not control them.. to not give them what they need.. is to not feed them.. is to starve their soul. If you are not using a slave it is a terrible injustice to both them and yourself.

I know this is a hard concept for some people to grasp. I get it. The paradise I and my slave live in is alien to some but not to us. I often sit across from my slave and just grin.. and them she gives me that coy smile back..

We love each other. We understand each other. She understands that I can be a controlling manipulative evil man at times and it makes her wet thinking about what will come next. We have none of that animosity.. that low anger and tension.. that domestic disaster that so many live with today.

My slave is now up and ready for ritual one of the day… Carpe Diem my friends. Paradise is sometimes more than a change of perspective away. Sometimes you also have to take action. Go be someone’s great day!

A change of perspective

Hate hurts the one who holds it…
Nothing good is accomplished in Anger…

We are so caught up in our electronic lives these days that sometimes we forget to step outside, take a deep breath, and appreciate the beauty and calming effect of nature.

I ran into someone on Twitter the other day who does not comment on the news.  Not one single thought.  The only thing they have to share is just how beautiful things are.

Recently I have found myself sucked into constantly checking facts and stats on Covid.. and then on the riots..   I was in the News business years ago.  Checking the news became part of my routine… checking the various forms of communication as been more like taking a daily dose of poison and lately we’ve been drinking from a fire hose.

I know that sounds harsh but it’s true.  You have to just step away from the negativity, the sources of conflict and anger.  This is my thought as much as it is a realization reborn by reflecting on this incredible person.

So now I want to share something with you.  I hope it helps.  I hope you are ready to hear.  I know however that giving is not nearly as important as receiving.  If you are ready, willing and able to receive – here it is.  “A beautiful day is just a change of perspective away.”

The negative in you might start to tear this apart… argue that its just words… how can you just ignore..  there is too much to over look.   I know..  There is always at least two voices.. one speaking of good and one speaking of evil.  Recognize this.  Your perspective is the voice YOU CHOOSE TO LISTEN TO!

You can listen to the doubts, the anger, the hatred, the petty thoughts..  Or you can tell them to get behind you, wash your mind clean, and take a deep breath.  It can be hard to do this with distractions.  You might not want to read more of anything.  Just go find time to be at peace with the world and yourself.

Happiness truly is only just a change of perspective away.  Carpe Diem my friends..  Go be someone’s great day.

More reflecting

I generally do not engage in debate on Fetlife.  I find it counter-productive to try to change a mind that is already made up.. Nor am I likely to change my mind.  I do believe in being prepared to change my mind if a fact I have not previously considered comes up, but usually I try to consider all angles before I open my mouth.

Don’t allow appearing to have been wrong, to get in the way of actually being right. ~ Xtac Quote



Fetlife post

The above link leads to the below comment.  I saw a friend comment on this page and really wanted to weigh in on the whole rioting, burning looting thing.

I believe in aggressive, non-violent, confrontation. That is NOT the same as being a pacifist.

In the long game I think you do more for your cause with this strategy that being a pacifist or turning to violence.

The only exception to this value is when a belief system systematically sets out to exterminate or enslave another group.

On a side note: I find it hard to believe the local citizens want what is happening to their community. Makes me wonder if the violence wasn’t brought in rather than spontaneous. I’m sure protests were spontaneous. Maybe the police station too. But burning and looting fellow citizens? Doesnt sound like something you do to your own.

Who goes to their local butcher, Baker, corner store and burns them down out of anger and frustration at someone else?. Dont you turn that anger on your oppressor if you are going to use violence at all?

Who sees someone they dont like, then punches the person next to them – a total innocent?

Aggressive, organized, confrontational, non-violence freed an entire country. It can work here.

I later thought about how this applies to BDSM

In BDSM I have often said that a DOM who acts in anger is no DOM at all. When a Dominant finds themselves ready to act in anger that is exactly the time to walk away, develop a cooler head, and then plan a strategy that works to the long term advantage of all parties involved. A Dominant MUST develop this skill to be a true Dominant A submissive who finds themselves in service to a Dominant who can’t control their anger should get out of that relationship immediately. Anger and frustration are great motivators but lousy strategist. If you want to defeat an opponent.. make them angry. A person who is angry is off-balance and more easily defeated.

I don’t really want to debate this whole thing.  Many people have their opinions and I have mine and two of my core-value beliefs will shape what I think.. 1) When you get angry you loose any advantage and slip into making mistakes and poor choices.  2) Aggressive, cool headed, non-violent, confrontation is the way to get things done.

When my slave pisses me off, and my control goes up, and I speak in firm soft tones is exactly the time she should really start to be concerned.

Carpe Diem my friends.  Be someone’s great day!  Stay safe.  And if you are going to burn and loot do it at a safe distance while wearing a mask!


Reflecting on race

BDSM is not without its arguments over what should or not be said or done or in some cases even thought.  We engage in a battle of words over age and gender, and best practices all of the time.  Starting a conversation in Fetlife is likely to draw down a whirl-wind of opinions of which some can be quite heated and turn personal and nasty.

Why this subject?  Neighborhoods in Minneapolis are in flames.  I has caused me to reflect on race and the police in general.  It freaks me out sometimes when I find myself as an older Euro-American man, talking with a younger Afro-American person of any gender.  OK.. I am just going to say white and black..

I am very conscious of the horrors visited on black women during the times of American slavery.  Women were often used by the Master and his male children as sex toys and when a child was born.. and the Master saw his own face in that child.. he still left that child in slavery.  Often the child was sold so he didn’t have to think about it and his wife didn’t constantly see it.

I can’t even begin to touch the emotional pain I feel trying to grasp what it takes to sell your own child in slavery so you don’t have to look at them.  Worse.. their female children were lighter skinned and therefore even more likely to be sexually assaulted.

Here we are one and a half centuries later and though all of the guilty have long since died or are extremely aged, the embers still burn.  So when I talk with a black man or woman about the joys of consensual slavery.. yeah… I am often very weirded out when talking with someone new to me.   Not surprising really.. each generation of humans comes along every 20 years and it really hasn’t been that long that segregation was seriously shut down.. what.. maybe three generations?

That being said.. this thing about cops.. it has just as many facets.  On one level I want to support the men in blue.. and on another I don’t.   I know at least part of the problem.  Police look for criminals.

If I am the only one in their view so that I am their only target then they are looking for criminal activity in me.  It makes me very uncomfortable because I know that nearly anyone can be confronted with something if you look hard enough.  I don’t like to be around Police.  They make me nervous.  I can count on one hand the number of times a cop was actually helpful and not intimidating.

By the same token, if I was in a rough neighborhood filled with gang members I would like to see a cop around.  I thought a lot about that and I realized the reason I would welcome a cop in that situation is because I am not nearly as likely to get the scrutiny that the thugs will.  I’ll be viewed as the person to be protected.. and isn’t that what black people have been saying all along?

In any situation, the police are looking for criminal activity.  When they have a choice between people to take a better look at.. they must make decisions about who looks like they are more likely a threat or engaged in criminal activity.   I don’t know what the police are trained to look for.. I’m not a cop.. but I can easily see how.. if you stop 100 people and find a problem with 25 of them.. and the greater portion are black..  you begin to develop a pattern which leads to certain conclusions.

NYC had stop and frisk laws.   Not a bad idea as long as you stop an equal percentage of each race.   Grandma in the walker and business man in the suit needs the same treatment as the white or black dude with his pants half down around his ass.  So where would that leave us?   Probably with Grandma and the business man being found with nothing.  What about the “gangsta”?  Probably more had some weed on them than Grandma.. maybe not.  At least you can show the stats of who was stopped and what was found.. a before and after and those are facts not prejudice.

Not that I am entirely for “the rule of law”.  The prohibition period was moronic.   The anti-marijuana laws are more of the same.  Why the hell can’t someone with advanced cancer seek assisted suicide?   I am strongly in favor of the concept of “my body-my choice”.

If my slave consents to assault leading to bruises that is between us.. or should be..  Assault like that by the way would most likely involve a whip or strap.  When laws are passed that abridge my right, or my slave’s rights, to choose what is done with our body I think it is inherent to peacefully resist that law.

I watched a video as people walked through broken windows and came back out with handfuls of goods.   I felt the urge that anyone in that situation would… Why not me too?  Everyone else is…  I could feel how compelling that urge would be.

I like to think that mask or no mask I would resist the urge to get some free goodies.  I like to think that I would shake my head and just walk away.  That’s because I know that later and forever I would deeply regret my choice in that moment.  The thing is.. you never really know what you will do in a situation until you face it.

I understand that people have passion and they are angry.  I do not believe however that is justifies violence and destruction.  Doing the right thing is always the right thing to do.  We must always strive to rise above.  Being a better person means you take the high road, ethically speaking.  Above all, joining a mob and participating in such a group is very likely to lead to you being swept up into emotions that lead to actions you will later regret.

If you haven’t seen the old black and white movie “To Kill a Mockingbird”, watch it.  Justice is a fickle thing.  Mob mentality always thinks it is doing the right thing but it often leads to greater injustice.  When you are emotional and angry is EXACTLY the time to take a breath and think.  No matter how flawed our system is.. and believe me I think it is flawed – we must let the system work.   ( See Blackstone’s ratio or Blackstone’s formulation).

The cop who put his knee to that mans throat needs to go down.  I know that police stand up for other police even when they know they have a bad apple among them.  It’s like a code of blue.  That has to change.  I just hope the violence ends, and justice is served.

Do not despair.  We who would hold onto what is right and good and just will prevail.  Let your heart not be troubled.   Seize this day and make it good.  Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!



3 am

3 am… I woke from a dream in which my uncle had died..

It caused me to reflect on my life.. and I resolved to do more meaningful things with the time I have left, but then I checked my social media, and Fetlife, then my work email.. responded to some unattended work.. did some approvals and lined up work for the morning and here it is 4 am..

I dived right back into the mess.  I wonder.. people say they are too busy..  I say I am too busy…  are we?    I mean, I get up at 6:30 am.. then either do some yard work.. or check social media.. then it’s online work from home at 7:30..  by 9 I’ve had a quick shower and its the drive into the office.  I use the time in the car to call family.. family is important.. Usually I’m too busy to leave the office.. I keep a min-fridge and microwave in my office and grab something healthy without stopping.. Home by 4:30.  I use that drive time to call friends..if they are available.. or I listen to music.  At home its right into my grunge jeans to do yard or auto projects.. by 6:45 it’s time to prep for 7pm protocol.  A few quick checks on the work I do for a living.. Then a few slow moments for dinner, after which it’s a few glorious moments.. 15 to 20 in a hot bath while I soak out the sore spots.. then its a final check on work for a living… before a final check on social media.  Bys 9 pm, or 9:30 I have maybe 60 mins or less that I don’t know what to do with. The other night I indulged in 15 minutes of Netflix.. a show on how to prepare meals quicker and more efficiently.. yeah..  I don’t know how to relax.

I have to find more time for friends..  but where do I find that time?  I quit literally am booked solid.   Any time I could really give, would usually come out of lunch I force myself to take, or time I would be sleeping.  Sleep.. I’ve always needed 8 to 9 hours.. Not sure why.

I woke at 3am.  My uncle had died.  It was not a morbid or sad death.  He had a large field and he had redirected some of a stream to run into a smaller stream that crossed his field and emptied into a series of small ponds filled with fish and frogs.. an arched bridge and other little landscape details.. a very beautiful achievement.  He had been sitting admiring the creation of his life when he passed.  He looked very peaceful.  I am trying to create a beautiful place too.. but the beauty I create will be passed on to others when I pass.. I think it is important that we leave the world a better place when move on.

Some things we only have so much of.  I’ve heard that a woman has all the eggs she will ever have already.. when they are gone the are gone.  Time is like that.   We do not own our time.. each minute is a precious gift…  We cannot own our time we can only receive and spend it wisely.  Therein lies the heart of my soul searching.  Am I spending the time I have been given wisely, choosing to share these thoughts with you at 4:30 in the morning when I could be snuggling up to my slave?   Decisions, decisions.. it all comes down to decisions.

Life is meant for dancing..  we should not worry about the decisions.  We should free our hearts and just dance through life.  It is OK to let the currents of our associations and will bounce us along the stream of our life.  No moment spent with a friend or nature is wasted even if you fall asleep..  or pass away as my uncle did in my dream..  Nothing is ever really created or destroyed and we only just barely understand what that means…  but as the children of the universe that we are, it’s not important to worry ourselves with meaning.. we are meant to dance… and dance I shall until my last breath.  I will dance with joy, I will dance with determination,  I will dance with freedom,  I will dance to share..  Time to return to the warm embrace of sleep and my slave…

Carpe Diem my friends.. be someone’s great day!

Just a dream

Spoiler alert:  If you are homophobic, don’t read this.

I have had many dreams in my life.. that is to say life ambitions that wanted to fulfill.  Making the House of X or HOX is becoming a reality.   Finding someone I think I can grow old with gracefully is another.

My night dreams from while I sleep however I rarely remember.  I wake and sometimes I remember briefly then forget again.   Other times I wake suddenly and the dream is still with me.  This is one of those night dreams.  It was 2:30 am.

I was out with a friend…  a motor head… drinking with some other buddies.  We were talking engines and tuneups and horsepower tweaks.  They all decided that we should switch bars but something got mixed up and we ended up at the wrong next spot.  We were bragging about who was the most drunk and suddenly we were at my friends home… not sure how that happened.. scenery just changes sometimes in a dream.

Since I was really, really drunk and I basically just wanted to sleep I asked him to take me home and that’s when he leaned in…

He had long blond hair and stubble of a mustache and beard not grown in yet.. sort of a George Michael look with these really pouty full lips.   His eyes still wide open..  but close enough I knew he was thinking we should kiss. I pulled back and held up a hand.  “Woah!” I said.  “I’ve always been heterosexual.”

He said nothing but sat back looking crushed and I suddenly felt really, really bad for him.  I wondered if I did something to lead him on.  “It’s not that I’m homophobic” I said to him.  “It’s just that it wouldn’t be fair to you”.  “I would never get an erection”. 

( Now that is not entirely true because if I wasn’t in a monogamous relation I would take a blowjob from any gender but it was a dream and that didn’t come up in the conversation.. not sure why).

He turned to me and suddenly I thought – Oh fuck… why not.   So I grabbed him by his long hair pulled him in beneath me, closed my eyes and gave him a long passionate kiss.  Ever the Dom, I totally controlled the situation and he just melted.  Ignore for a moment that this was gay.

Just imagine the sweetest kiss you have ever had..  the intensity, the longing. There is that first tender brush of softness, of wetness, that presses harder and harder as you pass that first awkward moment and dive into the passion of the moment.   Eyes closed, you dive headlong into just the feeling of that moment..  Your mind disconnects and a zen like state of connection opens..  with just two people intensely feeling hunger and need as one.

We both came up for air and it was in that moment that I woke.  I lay in bed, half asleep and half awake.. remembering..  and drifting in and out the dream state.   In that moment he pulled me back into the dream state, grabbed my cock and began sucking.

I fully awoke then and suddenly was filled with the feeling.. Oh my God what have I done?  This person is going to have such a terribly strong feeling of love and I will certainly find someone else and hurt them horribly.  They will give and give hoping to be my everything and never fully win my heart in return.

I was fully awake then.. filled with mixed feelings all jumbled and confused.   I thought of the women in my past with whom I have shared similar situations.. and others…   Like I said, I’ve never been homophobic.    I list in Fetlife as heteroflexible.

It’s now 3:15 am.  I wanted to write it all down while I could remember it.  There are two people from my past that I am thinking of now..  Persons I would have hooked up with if they or I were not with someone else at the time.

Dreams don’t always present pictures of exactly who or what we are thinking of, they often just present the feelings we have been going over.  In our dreams our feelings are showed to us in different situations and pictures.   It’s what you feel in a dream that is important…  It’s the feelings of a dream that tell us something important, not the images.

I also believe dreams are another realm and I wondered if I was dancing with someone’s waking consciousness that dream and if so with who?   I have much to consider in my waking life.

So there you have it..   the un-tarnished truth of my experience for what ever it does or doesn’t do for you.   Love is love no matter what body it comes with.  Sexual attraction is what it is and if you do or don’t get attracted to one type or another it is nothing to get worked up about.  We worry too much about what does or doesn’t turn us on.

A heterosexual person should not be embarrassed or need to apologize for not being aroused by the same sex any more than a homosexual person should have to be embarrassed fro what arouses them.  Nor do we have to “get” why some people are different.  We just have to respect that we are different.  We are wired the way we are.  We need to get over it if we are different.

More importantly, the world needs more love.  We need to care for each other.  We need to be courteous, considerate, and respectful.   We fear the unknown… its natural.. but we need to boldly trust that diversity can make use stronger, when both sides respect each-others opposing views.   By the same token, there is no need to respect a person who won’t respect you.   Carpe Diem my friends.  Go forth and make a great day for yourself and do it by being someone’s great day!

Your boss’s boss

I don’t usually talk about work.  It can be a weird thing being both a Dominant and an employer.  There are lines that I want to make sure I don’t cross.   I need to make sure that the reflex responses I have with my consensual slave, don’t bleed over in the mannerisms at work.

The power dynamics at work however are very,  very interesting.  I find that with my upper management I tend to be very much like a submissive.   Their desires become my desires… their wants and needs become my focus…  Interestingly it does not rub my Dominant nature the wrong way.   The needs of my slave come first too.  In many ways the give and take of the BDSM relation has elements on both sides of the equation that are shared.

Now an interesting situation has begun to occur at work.  The boss above my boss has started to come to me directly with tasks and questions.   This is very interesting from a power perspective.

On the one side, it probably means that my boss’s boss .. we’ll call him “my VP”… recognizes that my immediate boss is a very busy man and doesn’t need to be bothered with every little detail.    It may also mean that my VP has developed a sense of trust that he can count on me and doesn’t need a “whip” to make sure what he gives me gets done… and by whip I mean he goes to my boss to make sure my boss follows up and sees that I get my task done.

On the other side this is a very dangerous development.   It’s never good to have your boss going directly to your employees and not be in the loop.    By circumnavigating my boss – my VP is feeding a sense of insecurity ( presuming my boss has those).  It is important when dealing with a superior to be viewed as an asset and not a threat.  Even if he does not have any insecurities there will be that nagging question of loyalty to be entertained.  Every boss knows that there are employees who just don’t like you and you can never be sure if that will turn into a problem for your authority.

Mind you..  I am not looking for advise.  I’ve navigated the waters of corporate politics for decades and I feel confident that this can be turned to a possessive..  a win win if you will.    Its all just very interesting and it has me wondering a bit… where is the BDSM hook?     I am thinking this might be more of a situation arising from poly dynamics rather than a two person BDSM relation.

Anyway… great sharing with you as always.   Stay safe..  stay free..   Mental health is important too so if you are feeling claustrophobic from Covid-19 lock down go for a walk in the woods, stand beside a stream, enjoy the view from a mountain top… unless of course your local government is restricting travel for mental health in which case I would get a doctors prescription for a walk in the woods first…  Sad that its come to that, eh?   Carpe Diem my friends..  Do your best to be someone’s great day!