Joy of Collars n Sadists-part 3

Many days have passed since July 4th. Did we play afterwards? Of course.

Last night we hosted Dinner at HOX… we open our home on the third Sunday of every month. We played again after dinner.

We had brand new guests.. never seen before. It is always somewhat concerning when a new person or group comes to dinner. Will they fit in? Can we overcome any concerns? Will they come with baggage we don’t need at HOX? Will they be safe?

I am so happy this new couple came to visit. They traveled just under two hours (one way) to get to us.. so my slave and I appreciate the effort.. They had not seen fire play before and of course my girl is a fire slut.. so I agreed to do a fire scene/demo.

It was really a great evening.. just like the play after the collaring celebration. Jade Kitten visited for both.. and got a nice beating both times. I particularly like dancing with her as she purrs when she is enjoying the scene.. that feedback is very helpful for a person topping… and its quite sexy…

Last night my girl went down hard. Perhaps I waited too long to do her because after she hit subspace the climb back up to reality took quite a while… I helped by feeding her chocolates.

I love being among my own kind. I love sharing the discoveries that I have made on this long journey. When it comes to a dance.. or a scene.. or play.. whatever you want to call your sado-masochism I can still remember quite clearly from my early days – the struggle to hold onto the sense that I was still a good person. I had trouble reconciling this apparent love of hurting someone close to me with my own values. Do I really like to hurt people?

I think this is an important phase for any new sadist. All you know is, you shouldn’t do this to someone you care about. When you have little or no experience with masochists you have no understanding of just how and why they need what you are doing. You don’t have the foundation on which to reconcile your actions with your ethics.

Just as the man who does all kinds of perverted things with a girlfriend.. but then won’t fuck her after he marries her… Sadists sometimes do not make it past understanding the role they play in the life of their masochist.. and so they let them down.

Just as a submissive comes to understand that in their sacrifice.. in their giving to a Dominant.. an internal joy and pleasure is released… so too a sadist must often fight to give.. they must struggle to overcome these feeling about hurting someone else… particularly someone close to them.. until they finally understand that in this giving they can allow themselves to also feel joy.

It’s easy to feel joy in giving something good. To feel joy in being a sadist you simply must first understand the person you are giving to. You need to fully accept that for them your sadism is good. There are a host of reasons why a person can be a masochist. The list is too long to go into here. The most important thing that we as sadists really need to do.. is get to the point where we can allow ourselves a feeling of joy in our giving… and know in our heart it is appreciated.

Some may argue that what we should really do is get a masochist to help..because they are sick. It feeds your doubt. Don’t give in to your doubt. The body releases many wonderful chemicals during play. It is natural high. There are real benefits and if you are careful no actual harm is done.. but much good can result.

It can be a difficult road… But it is one that any caring person must travel and experience to become a good and valued partner to a masochist. Carpe Diem my friends.. be someone’s great day.

Joy of Collars-Mini Tale TWO

I held off on writing tale 2 and 3 since not a lot of people appeared interested… Not a lot of site visits or likes.. but then what-the-hell… I came back to my senses. This is for me. If people like it fine and equally fine if they don’t. It’s not about the number of readers.. it is about sharing with people who find value.

I am supposed to be working right now but I find myself thinking of my slave. I have been with her for years and yet I still think about her all of the time. Such lustful thoughts right now…

I am not bragging… I spent the better part of my life looking for this.. and so far it is real.. which shocks me. This late in my life I had nearly given up hope of finding someone that filled the hole where I needed someone. I guess I say “so far” because I really find it incredible…

At that brings me to a moment in our Joy of Collars celebration. This is difficult to write about. This moment lasted only seconds.. and yet it is written indelibly in my brain.

Izrina had finished reading her copy of the scroll that is sealed with the blessings of our friends. Her voice has faltered.. she had trouble finishing.. You’ve seen moment like these at funerals.. but this was not sad.. it was loving and overpowering.

Those around us were swept up in the feeling.. the emotions of the moment grabbed and held us. It was almost religious… a coming together of many. Then we turned the opportunity over to the group to share…

A young lady who is in service to a grey haired gentleman come for with a voice that wavered as well. She spoke of how grateful she was to find him, and to be in his service. The attraction is not money.. I know.. the attraction is found in the equity of their relation… the way he completes her as she completes him.

It was this moment that stands out in my mind. Not her words.. but the feeling of the crowd… You may or may not believe that a crowd has energy but I swear in that moment there was such a swelling feeling of connection. I am not doing this moment justice. I guess you had to be there.

Never give up on your dreams… Follow your head before you follow your heart. Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day.

I’m angry

I don’t like blood, scat, or politics.. It’s all the same thing really…

Politics is a blood sport in which people behave like monkey’s pulling shit from their ass and then fling it at other people… You couldn’t pay enough to interest me in joining politics..

When I read that a hard core Owner and Master stepped down as a director of a MAsT chapter I was deeply saddened. Let me preface my thought on that by saying that I went to a lovely BBQ this weekend in which the Master of the house stated that he wanted to start a group dedicated to rituals, rules and protocols I applauded him.. but also warned that he may find that participation is light.

Anyone on Fetlife for even a short time knows that suggesting the there might actually be a definition for submissive or slave.. or that there might actually be best practices for those looking to guide someone through Internalized Enslavement (IE)… can bring down the wrath of the “N0-one-twue-way” Zealots.

Now I don’t know Vile on a personal level. I’ve never shared a meeting, workshop, or dungeon with him. I only know him from his writings – but what I have seen tells me that he has something that many are missing.. Balls of steel that are not afraid to live life on his terms.. and that is a lesson and a leader many need.

It pisses me off. What he stepped down for had ZERO to do with his qualifications. It has to do with diversity.. and you know what? Diversity is great… When you build a team based on what people bring to the table and nothing else.. you get diversity… Diversity is about building strength through the content of individuals and not their race, or orientations.

In business you HAVE to make room for the crazy, the insane, the impossible ideas or fall behind. One person wanted to fire his own rockets into space and land them again on a barge in the ocean.. crazy talk.. but Eon Musk did it and now his cost to space is lower than anyone else..

Fuck me… welcome to the cancel culture. Its sad.. what many fail to understand is that diversity creates strength but to be diverse means to hear all sides… to listen and not shame, intimidate, or blacklist. People who shame, intimidate, blacklist, and cancel are DESTROYING diversity not building it.

Only the wise see when they are being constructive and not destructive… We need a hell of a lot more wise people in our lives.. Destructive, anti-diversity in the name of diversity just took out a man with important wisdom to share.. God.. killing diversity to improve diversity.. the stupidity is staggering. I am pissed…

Daryl Davis is a rare and outstanding example of how we could all work towards a better, more caring, diverse community… His YouTube is worth your time spent listening… Carpe Diem my friends.. be someone’s great day!

Joy of Collars-Mini Tale One

Number one of a few little tales from our 2020 Collaring Celebration.

The Ceremony went well, with strong emotions flowing throughout and we retired for food. I brought desert before food.. individually wrapped brownies baked locally..

We enjoyed a meal at the fire, followed by play in the Dungeon, and we were winding down for the evening. a few of us seated in the dining room, with chairs open between couples..

I’m saving the play for later short tales..because what happened in the dining room still makes me smile.

I am not sure how we got on the topic of kinks and things we love but it was at this point that I mentioned that I always thought it was a sexy fantasy to have a secretary or slave provide oral service under your desk at work…

There is a bit of that “public sex” aspect to it, as well as the wonderful control. ( I love testing the limits of my control… ) As I ruminated over the aspects that appeal to me I complained that unfortunately what with all the cameras and corporate rules that I might never get to order that service in my office at work…

And then I noted however that fortunately my home office.. which was right here at the dining table.. could act as a substitute. And then I ordered her under the table.

As she obediently crawled under the table someone mentioned that she was going to ruin her beautiful dress, and I pointed out I cared more that she did as she was told…

You know that moment when you may have made things a little to uncomfortable for some and too hot for others? yeah.. that… Some persons shifted uncomfortably in their seats while others grinned like crazy people…

I’m grinning again now.. ahh… good times! It’s wonderful to have an obedient slave at your feet, nuzzling your lap. Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!

The joy of a collar ( Year Three )

On July 4th, 2018 in the company of friends and with blessings from many, my slave received her final a collar.

This was our second renewal, and our third collaring celebration. Though the rose ceremony may be more dramatic, I chose the sand ceremony for the way it brings so many together in such symbolic and beautiful ways..

Since we are very big into meditation, and Tantric meditation in particular, we used colored sand.. one for each of the chakras. My slave read her vows to me from a small scroll which was placed into our bottle, and I did the same. Then friends and community leaders provided a blessing and poured their sand over our vows.. red, orange, etc. The result is that our vows are forever sealed, surrounded by the blessings or our friends.

The bottle sits on display in the dining room. Next to the bottle are two replica scrolls. These are tied and sealed for a year. On the fourth, we open them and read again the vows we gave.

It is funny, but after a year it can be difficult to recall what was written. When we open them, it is like discovering anew what we promised.

You know that thing that happens when someone is overcome with emotion? and tries very hard to compose themselves to continue speaking but has difficulty continuing?

Yeah.. that happens. It can be a very charged and powerful moment.. filled with the energy of our love and devotion.. amplified by those in the crowd caught up in the moment. You can feel the way the energy of that moment just lights up the area.

We encourage others to profess their appreciation for their slave, sub, owner, Master, partner. Often people are unprepared. or shy. This year however we were joined and I have to say the the feeling of persons professing the appreciation for their partner is something to be experienced.

Words cannot properly express what the heart feels at moments like these and the joy can be infectious..

I look forward to years to come.. with more and more people choosing to do a collaring.. or a renewal or join us in speaking up to express a special bond. So often there exists between those in the BDSM community incredible bonds that should be recognized.

Afterwards we enjoyed some food, snacks and beverages and put the Dungeon to good use. It was a real joy to lay hands on again. It is a delight to dance again after such a long hiatus.

Next year’s event is already posted. We will start just a little later to give more time for the day to cool down, the sun to start setting, and the fire and pathway lights to be more enjoyable..

We were blessed to be joined by so many wonderful people. From the bottom of my heart.. thank you for sharing this moment with us. Carpe Diem my friends.. be someone’s great day!

Pampered Pet Part 2

My slave was bent over before me waiting and I was already hard. Restrained to the bed, she awaited whatever came next. I turned to our travel bags and pulled out one of my favorite floggers and smiled. This was probably not the romantic get-away she had envisioned… but then that is the interesting part of being a slave.. you never know what the Master will desire from you… next.

(Part 2 is a continuation of this)

The sound of leather on skin reverberated through the huge bedroom, bouncing off the walls and ceiling high overhead. I wasn’t worried about disturbing guest in the rooms next to us. The bedroom was sunken…nearly a whole floor lower than ground level and that meant the walls were almost certainly concrete. Part Dungeon, part boudoir, the setting was perfect for the weekend of debauchery I had planned.

My slave moaned softly as my leather strikes caressed her skin and my cock twitched in anticipation of using the wet and willing slave before me. I threw the flogger to the side, perhaps a little too anxious to mount her.

I took her from behind, thrusting deep. I grabbed a shoulder, wanting something more substantial than hair. I have a hungry beast inside. It waits for moments like these and I have no desire to put the animal back in its cage once unleashed.

In my younger years this would all be over shortly but these days it takes more time for the sweet soul-wrenching sensation of pending orgasm to flood over me.

Some call the orgasm a “little death”. Certainly we lose all sense of ourselves when gripped by this incredible pleasure we simply call sex. So it was that we found ourselves exhausted, and in each others arms…. round one complete.

I fed her chocolate covered strawberries, dipped in heavy whipped cream and we sipped wine… for a bit. A familiar swelling signaled round two. I grabbed her by the throat, fucking her savagely. I like to ride my toys hard…

It was late.. I put the strawberries in the fridge, and passed out but a friendly familiar throbbing woke me. So I woke her.. with something hard and hungry.. And that was round three.

Not sure why… I couldn’t sleep after that. My exhausted slave slipped easily back into sleep but I browsed my phone..started this blog, then got up to retrieve the heavy whipped cream from the fridge. I woke her a second time.. and placed her between my legs.

The cream was cold against my skin, but a clear invitation to my slave to clean my body with her tongue. She did so efficiently and I encouraged her to add more.

A coy smile from between my legs, she dove into the game, spreading cream over my cock, thighs, and stomach… Such fun.. to give this slutty little slave a moment of creative control.. A moment where she was allowed to indulge briefly in the love she has for the Master she serves.

My cock pulsed and throbbed under her very talented tongue and she sucked on me hungrily. I threw her onto her back then and started round four of pounding the pussy that is mine.

There comes a time when the well is dry. She came quickly enough but I hovered on that edge… feeling my balls tighten and the rush of orgasm only seconds away… but never quite made it there.. I promised her she would deliver what I missed in the morning.

The get-away included a breakfast.. We did some souvenir shopping, packed the car, and took one last visit to our room. I had promised after all..

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I placed her on her knees like a good slave. She took my cock into her mouth.. It is her pleasure to serve. Licking, and sucking, my slave can easily be rewarded with a mouthful of Master’s cum in minutes. The only question is.. do I finish with a forceful handful of hair or not.

I do love a handful of hair. I love to pull her down onto me with a grip on her shoulder or tits. She swallowed and licked her lips. Master was pleased..

Back to the car.. I put some music on and we started the long drive home… Her pussy she tells me is sore.. not last night.. but now.. Pampered? Pounded? It’s all the same to us.

Carpe Diem My friends.. Be someone’s great day

A little slave pampering

i love my slave the way that I love my Mustang and Jeep. I beat all three pretty hard when I play with them but then I lovingly clean them up for next time.

My slave was looking forward to our getaway in the Poconos and was especially loving..curled up against Master at every chance.

She presented herself in a very nice dress which I had her display for me in a number of poses. Very sexy but the panties had to go.

I pressed her up against the wall at every opportunity taking advantage of her exposure. I like running my fingers under her skirt. I love when my property is wet, teased, excited, and anxious for more of me.

Dinner was delicious. Both for the exquisitely prepared meal as well as the slow torture of her building tension.

In the fields outside, deer that were nearly tame are grazing. A mother and her two tiny babes.. The fawns are still covered in white dots and hid timidly behind mom. So cute!

We walked past these, a gift shop, and a bar on our way to our room. I ordered ice and strawberries for our room then cracked open a bottle of strawberry moscato.

We retired to the jacuzzi and relaxed a bit before the main even. In the bedroom, a round bed. Above, a black ceiling with “star lights” that twinkled.

I had her kneel and put on her cuffs. We pulled a rope under the mattress creating anchor points and I bent her over the bed, securing her to it.

Phone battery getting low…more to come later…






Continued here


About a week ago, I stopped reading the news. Before that I was tense, and miserable. I felt like everything was wrong and I had to get involved, do my part to some how to fix the madness.

One week later and I am living in paradise...

Up fresh from a good pounding on my pussy… yes mine because I own her body and mind… a fresh cup of tea and I am feeling really good. While my slave learns to walk again, I am reflecting.

Yesterday was just as good, but first a little about why… I’ve always had a fantasy about a slave at work.. a secretary or personal assistant that serves coffee, sorts the mail, and then gets under the desk to provide some Oral Service.

There is something quite pleasing about the idea of a selfless servant obediently bobbing up and down on your cock as you clear your inbox… until that time when you can’t concentrate because you know that you are just seconds away from filling that warm willing mouth full of cum.

Thank God for work at home and a home office. I stuck my slave under my desk and it was so good she had to swallow twice!

If you call yourself a Master or an Owner and you can’t order this when you want it or where.. (if in your opinion it is an acceptable risk).. then either you are not a Master or they are not a slave.

A slave is there to be used. Why you might want to own a slave.. and then not exercise your will to fulfill your desires is beyond me. A slave is to be an extension of your will. They may be a girlfriend or wife but if you think that is who they are.. you miss the point. .

You have to understand the basics. OK.. I played an adult BDSM game yesterday and there was a scene where the tables are turned and you come under the control of the woman you are seeking to control.. I HATED getting through that part of the game.

It runs against the very core of my being to be totally under someone else’s control and therein lies the thing. My slave is exactly the opposite of me. Everything I am not, she is. Your perspective and theirs are not the same. Just as you have your core.. the center of who and what you are.. so too do others.

To take on a slave.. and then not control them.. to not give them what they need.. is to not feed them.. is to starve their soul. If you are not using a slave it is a terrible injustice to both them and yourself.

I know this is a hard concept for some people to grasp. I get it. The paradise I and my slave live in is alien to some but not to us. I often sit across from my slave and just grin.. and them she gives me that coy smile back..

We love each other. We understand each other. She understands that I can be a controlling manipulative evil man at times and it makes her wet thinking about what will come next. We have none of that animosity.. that low anger and tension.. that domestic disaster that so many live with today.

My slave is now up and ready for ritual one of the day… Carpe Diem my friends. Paradise is sometimes more than a change of perspective away. Sometimes you also have to take action. Go be someone’s great day!

A change of perspective

Hate hurts the one who holds it…
Nothing good is accomplished in Anger…

We are so caught up in our electronic lives these days that sometimes we forget to step outside, take a deep breath, and appreciate the beauty and calming effect of nature.

I ran into someone on Twitter the other day who does not comment on the news.  Not one single thought.  The only thing they have to share is just how beautiful things are.

Recently I have found myself sucked into constantly checking facts and stats on Covid.. and then on the riots..   I was in the News business years ago.  Checking the news became part of my routine… checking the various forms of communication as been more like taking a daily dose of poison and lately we’ve been drinking from a fire hose.

I know that sounds harsh but it’s true.  You have to just step away from the negativity, the sources of conflict and anger.  This is my thought as much as it is a realization reborn by reflecting on this incredible person.

So now I want to share something with you.  I hope it helps.  I hope you are ready to hear.  I know however that giving is not nearly as important as receiving.  If you are ready, willing and able to receive – here it is.  “A beautiful day is just a change of perspective away.”

The negative in you might start to tear this apart… argue that its just words… how can you just ignore..  there is too much to over look.   I know..  There is always at least two voices.. one speaking of good and one speaking of evil.  Recognize this.  Your perspective is the voice YOU CHOOSE TO LISTEN TO!

You can listen to the doubts, the anger, the hatred, the petty thoughts..  Or you can tell them to get behind you, wash your mind clean, and take a deep breath.  It can be hard to do this with distractions.  You might not want to read more of anything.  Just go find time to be at peace with the world and yourself.

Happiness truly is only just a change of perspective away.  Carpe Diem my friends..  Go be someone’s great day.

More reflecting

I generally do not engage in debate on Fetlife.  I find it counter-productive to try to change a mind that is already made up.. Nor am I likely to change my mind.  I do believe in being prepared to change my mind if a fact I have not previously considered comes up, but usually I try to consider all angles before I open my mouth.

Don’t allow appearing to have been wrong, to get in the way of actually being right. ~ Xtac Quote



Fetlife post

The above link leads to the below comment.  I saw a friend comment on this page and really wanted to weigh in on the whole rioting, burning looting thing.

I believe in aggressive, non-violent, confrontation. That is NOT the same as being a pacifist.

In the long game I think you do more for your cause with this strategy that being a pacifist or turning to violence.

The only exception to this value is when a belief system systematically sets out to exterminate or enslave another group.

On a side note: I find it hard to believe the local citizens want what is happening to their community. Makes me wonder if the violence wasn’t brought in rather than spontaneous. I’m sure protests were spontaneous. Maybe the police station too. But burning and looting fellow citizens? Doesnt sound like something you do to your own.

Who goes to their local butcher, Baker, corner store and burns them down out of anger and frustration at someone else?. Dont you turn that anger on your oppressor if you are going to use violence at all?

Who sees someone they dont like, then punches the person next to them – a total innocent?

Aggressive, organized, confrontational, non-violence freed an entire country. It can work here.

I later thought about how this applies to BDSM

In BDSM I have often said that a DOM who acts in anger is no DOM at all. When a Dominant finds themselves ready to act in anger that is exactly the time to walk away, develop a cooler head, and then plan a strategy that works to the long term advantage of all parties involved. A Dominant MUST develop this skill to be a true Dominant A submissive who finds themselves in service to a Dominant who can’t control their anger should get out of that relationship immediately. Anger and frustration are great motivators but lousy strategist. If you want to defeat an opponent.. make them angry. A person who is angry is off-balance and more easily defeated.

I don’t really want to debate this whole thing.  Many people have their opinions and I have mine and two of my core-value beliefs will shape what I think.. 1) When you get angry you loose any advantage and slip into making mistakes and poor choices.  2) Aggressive, cool headed, non-violent, confrontation is the way to get things done.

When my slave pisses me off, and my control goes up, and I speak in firm soft tones is exactly the time she should really start to be concerned.

Carpe Diem my friends.  Be someone’s great day!  Stay safe.  And if you are going to burn and loot do it at a safe distance while wearing a mask!