Sub-frenzy

Last night was one of two munches Izrina and I regularly attend.  I love going to munches and workshops.  In spite of all my years of BDSM, I always learn something, or at the very least, I re-inspire some dormant juice.

We sat with Gabby987 and I learned she was a Gorean trained slave.  I had no idea.  More importantly, she is meeting a potential new Master.   Now Gabby lists her age in Fet as 59, and she is a very good looking 59…and I have seen her around the community for sometime, so I wouldn’t expect her to make the mistakes a newbie would.

Here is the thing… it doesn’t matter how old we get, attraction springs eternal.  Every time she speaks of this new opportunity, her face lights up.  You can just feel the excitement as she speaks of the moments he took solid control.  I am so happy for her.  Inside, she is like a little kid, all bubbling and full of excitement.

Now when a newbie tastes Ds for the first time it is like someone just flung open the doors to Willie Wonka’s chocolate factory.  You just want to run in and sample everything.  You can well imagine after eating sweets for hours the tummy ache that would bring on.

Being a new slave is much like that.  You have always been able to get attention, but you always got your way.. and suddenly here are these Masters who will have none of it.  Suddenly the tables have firmly and clearly turned.  No amount of coy smiles and cuteness is going to change a Masters demand to comply.. and its exciting.  Suddenly you have sub-frenzy.

Like the kid in a candy store, you want it all and you are willing to forego any real thought as you dive in with your heart on your sleeve and your passion and lust not far behind.  Gabby is older and been around..  but its easy for that part of us that so desperately wants it all to rise to the surface.  I truly hope her potential new Master is a good one.

There are so many bad Dominants out there.  I say bad Dominants, because they are not real Masters or even real Dominants as we know the word in BDSM.  They are sociopaths.

so·ci·o·path (noun)
A person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.

A sociopath only knows what they want.  If they want you to give them your last dollar, that’s all they want.  They don’t care if its your last dollar.  They actually don’t understand why they can’t have it since they have no empathy, understanding, or conscience.  They can’t see your perspective, they can only see their own wants and needs.  They will do anything to get what they want.. weighing the risks to themselves.. without concern for laws or ethics.  Their only concern is, will I get caught.. how will it impact me?

Every good Master has a little sociopath in them.  We all want what we want.  But the difference between a sociopath and a Dominant is the genuine concern for consent.  Consent is everything.  We understand that consensual Dominance is about mutual happiness.

What makes a Dominant into a Master changes depending on the person you speak with. I would say what makes a Master is recognition.

The only titles of value are those acquired thru recognition by others. One claims that title by exercising that recognition, not asserting it. ~Xtac Quote

We who are Dominants and Masters understand that for a long term relation to work, we need to sit and talk.  We must find out if we are a good match, negotiate our hard limits, and reach an accord to consent to everything that is left.  Consensual non-consent or CNC is where we hope to be, although this is also sometimes called TPE..total power exchange.

You can know all this and still fall into sub-frenzy.  Its easy for the heart to lead the head.  Hmmm  let me dig up an old quote from a few years back.  Here it is..

Place your head before of your heart, before you place your heart before your head. Respect is not earned, its a reflection of your own values, but trust, that is earned. Once earned though, you must follow your heart. ~ Xtac Quote

I am living my dreams.  I have a 24×7 relation.  I am building HOX.. The house of X.  My slave and I will seek to be a source of education and good for the BDSM community.  There is nothing like it.. living it every day.  It’s worth getting it right.  Like anything done well, much of your success is in the preparation.

Make sure when you start a new relation that you sit and talk.  Keep your sub-frenzy tightly bottled and checked.  You need to know each other, to know if you are a good fit.   Weigh carefully what can and cannot be compromised.  You do not have to compromise everything.  Doing so does not deliver your dream, it delivers a nightmare.  Beware sub-frenzy.  Lead with your head.. but be prepared to follow your heart.   Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!




Serendipity-the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. 

I often see events align. Here is another.  At the same time I am thinking about Gabby, and writing on it, the slave of another Master I honor wrote on the same subject.  Her blog has valuable lessons in it, and I encourage you to read here.

 “Meeting a new Dom”.

 

 

House colors

So I have been kicking around images that mean something to me as starting points for the HOX vest colors…

Wings – Nothing gives us wings like the freedom to be who we are.  I like the idea of incorporating wings in the colors art.

Pinups – I like the idea of incorporating a sexy, 1950s housewife like, pinup.  Who doesn’t like sexy and there is something really sexy about the fully clothed but still naughty pinups from WWII.

Hitching Post – The hitching post at the table for seven pm protocol has become an favorite image.  And that will grow.  I believe I will place two at the table.. each with three chains, and leg bracelets.. giving Masters the options to not only be served from the buffet style spread, but also to chain their slaves for the meal.

House itself – Perhaps it is most fitting to do a ink and pen style image of the House of X.. Not a great or original idea, but it fits.

 

There are so many ways you could go with this.  I am not doing skulls, or crosses, or other common themes.  It needs to fit the BDSM, full service theme.  I am open to further ideas…. and would love to hear suggestions about what you would do…

~MasterX

 

The birth of a ritual

You may wonder what the difference is between a rule, a ritual, and a protocol.  Basically:

  • Protocols tell us how to behave and in DS, how to behave while in service to another.
  • Rules set boundaries.  They set the limits to what you can and can’t do.  They provide guidelines for efficiency and policy for procedure.
  • Rituals are sacred actions often coupled with words which are repeated with absolute devotion and exactitude.

 

The seven pm protocol.. meaning dinner will be served every evening exactly at 7pm started as a loose, casual thing with the only requirement be that:

  • Dinner be served at 7pm
  • The place mats, china, flatware, napkins, etc would come down from its shelf
  • Flatware, etc would be laid out exactly so
  • After dinner all 7pm flatware, etc would be cleaned
  • All cleaned flatware would lovingly be returned to its shelf to await the next day

A buffet table later was added and dinners became buffet style, with Owners having the option to be served.  If I have an honored guest without a slave, I would offer to have Izrina fetch.

Just as Izrina is required to request permission to enter my bed, I also require her worship at the table before she can be seated.  That ritual started almost immediately after the 7pm protocol started.

And now we come to the new ritual that has been born of the 7pm protocol. I like to wear my leather vest when I am full Master Mode.. which of course I am… when hosting this meal.  So I took to wearing my leather vest at every meal.  I always change into my standard event clothes for a meal.

Now those who have seen me in a dungeon, know that Izrina and i have a ritual we perform before I play.  She acts as my valet, I stand with arms out, indicating she should start, and she removes my shirt, then slides my vest over my bear chest.  I like to wear my vest without a shirt when I play.

It seemed to me that if I was going to wear my vest (with a shirt) at the table, then my valet should put it on for me… enter the new ritual.  Just before she gives worship now, she offers my vest, and I allow her to drape it on me..  its the little things.. the small service that is performed as a ritual that I love.  I like this new ritual..

Speaking of the vest..  I want to come up with colors for the House of X, to go on the vest.   Let the creative juices flow….

Carpe Diem my friends… be someone’s great day!

 

 

Concrete and hardwood floors

What the hell does concrete and hardwood floors have to do with BDSM?  Nothing really. Unless you are busy preparing the House of X.  I bought engineered hardwood for the downstairs living room, but apparently the floor was not perfectly flat.  The flooring guy at the local home repair super store said I should put down this concrete like underlay.  So last night I handed the boards one at a time to Izrina and had her stack them in the exact order of disassembly, so during reassembly all of the seams would be staggered.

I know its only been a few weeks but working all day and all night is getting old.  My friend Sno is giving a protocol class Saturday.  Think I’ll take some down time and go.  Protocols often annoy BDSM people.  Either because they are subs and not slaves, or they feel that its too close to a one twue way, or whatever.  People can be idiots.

But protocols, rules and rituals are key.  They are the foundations of keeping the mindset alive at all times.  They give us the sense that Ds is always in place.. a kind of stability that is reassuring.

Concrete and hardwood may not be directly related to BDSM, but then my whole life is like that.  Everything I do and am ties back somehow to my Master/slave life.  Its not a life style, and its not a choice.  Its our life. For some of us it is who we are.  Izrina didn’t assist last night because we are a couple building a dream.. well not directly… she assisted because she is a slave and the Master she slaves for ordered her to.  Its always there.. even when its not obvious.  For someone who is looking to fulfill their BDSM needs, there is nothing quite so wonderful as to live it 24/7.

Tonight we put back the hardwood and see how I did with the underlay.  Until then, Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day.

Meet Mr Fluffy

Just before seven pm protocol tonight, I asked Mr Fluffy if he would mind if I mentioned him in my blog.  He consented, as long as I didn’t “out” him by name or excessive detail.  Consent is important.

With that out of the way, meet Mr Fluffy.  He’s a wiry young man, about nineteen years of age, with blonde locks that fall over his eyes, and a scruffy bit of facial hair.  He is a submissive.  He is not a slave.  His Mistress moved out of the area.  I’ve known Mr Fluffy for a while now, and I thought it would be nice for him to stay with us at the House of X.  No definite period set for that.  I gave him a room, and some basic rules.  He helps around the house.  He is not an official house slave, per se, but he’s damn close.

Its odd.  Izrina is twenty five years younger than me, and sixteen years older than Mr Fluffy.  Its quite a generational gap but we find common ground.  Its an interesting situation.  Often I will hear Izrina and he working, talking, and laughing.

I find it interesting that our first live in is more of a concern for me, than for Izrina.  By that I mean, we are not poly.  We have no intention of diddling around with house slaves.  But the concern for someone being tempted can go both ways since I have no objections to adding a male or female slave to the house.

Mr Fluffy has the attractiveness that most youth has.. the thin, fresh, attractiveness of well defined muscles under skin with no fat.  How quickly that passes.  But as we transition from teens to twenties we can have such wonderfully perfect bodies.  Of course that is true for both men, and women.  Its not always an easy attraction to resist, especially if a person is flirtatious or personable.

Izrina prepared corn chowder tonight.  Its was delicious.  The day before it was zucchini and Italian sausage soup.  Often these dishes and desserts she prepares take time to peal and chop and dice the ingredients.  Mr Fluffy will often join her in the kitchen to assist with chores like peeling.  The other day, he helped me lower a rather heavy block of concrete.  He ran the snow blower over the driveway a few days back, before I got home. Its good to have the added company at the table, and to the help at the house.

He gets rather sad at times.  You know how it is when you are young and the drama is thick around you.  But this is why we took him in.  I felt he needed us.  He had a bit of a cold this weekend and Izrina and I mothered him.  Between his cold, and his occasional bought with sadness, I worry about him.  The Master in me wants to look after him.  The slave in Izrina wants to help.  He’s in good hands.

The House of X is a disaster.  We have projects going everywhere.  But in there is a calm center at the heart of that storm.. and that’s me.  I tie it together, and make it work.  Its what I do.  Its what I love to do.  Its is frightening, this monstrous maelstrom of work, shared burdens, and small delights.  I have no idea where all this will lead but while its in progress its exciting and wonderful.  Carpe Diem my friends.  Be someone’s great day.

 

HOX – Demolition and construction

The last three weeks have been a whirlwind at the House of X.  Each morning I try to resist doing some small task like spackling before its off to work.  Some days I can’t resist a “little project” which usually means afterward I am running late.  At work, all I can think about is which of the dozen projects to do next.  I ripped up one floor, which won’t be replaced for a while.  Ripped up another and that is being replaced with hardwood right now.  I pulled out a door to replace it with something newer, but the frame was not standard size, so I had some framing to do first.  We have burned through one large box of kitchen trash bags, AND a large box of black lawn bags.  Many trips to the dump.  There are often ten bags waiting disposal.  So it goes.

In spite of the confusion every night we have our seven pm protocol..  a sit down diner with specific flatware laid out.  Most nights we have guests.   The other night, we had diner for two.  I took pictures which I meant to post but there just hasn’t been the time to upload and write.

Tonight I finally decided to just post.  If you have seen the earlier pictures, you know there is a cast iron hitching post by my chair.  I love the hitching post and though I planned to put it at the top of the driveway to hold a sign, it makes such a nice prop at the table that I’ve decided to just get another for the driveway.

I have been trying to built bridges to the local LGBBT community for a safe place to set up a MAsT chapter.  Someplace we can meet and talk openly with some degree of privacy.   This can not be like a munch where you share your space in a public area. I may need to just offer the house as a meeting place, which is fine, except its really not ready and there will be a lot more dust and confusion before I have a room that is free of all the commotion.

Life has been pretty damn good.  The commute to Izrina’s job from the house is way too long, so I had her quit her job.  She is looking for one local to the house.  Its been lovely having more of her time..  Moving is a pain though.. isn’t it always.

At some point I should draw up some general guidelines for the House of X..  rules, protocols, mission statement… stuff like that.  Frankly, though I have a very clear idea in my head what I want, putting it down on paper seems like such a bother.  Still, any slave considering being a house slave, needs to know what they are getting into.  Its all new territory for me, and I am a firm believer in learning from others mistakes.  I will reach out to friends and associates for advice.

Anyway, the electronic side of my life has been slipping while the day to day side has been growing.  Thought it was high time to share.  Life has been busy but very good. Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!

It’s not enough

It’s not enough…
to want to be my slave
its not enough to promise to do anything I say
its not enough to beg for my domination
its not enough to let me use your body in any way
its not enough that I can fuck you any time I please

I am a consensual Master.
What pleases you, pleases me.

I need to know…
you will serve with joy
you will find pleasure pleasing me
you will strive always to fulfill us both

 

In the path of your happiness, that is where I need you to be,
even if you are on your knees.

Its the little things

Its easy to be thankful for the good things in life.  What really sets the best people apart from the rest, is the ability to be thankful for the bad and difficult things in life.

Wait?!   What?!   Why would anyone be thankful for something bad?  Well now, that’s the challenge isn’t it?  To see the lessons learned in failure.  To see the character built from challenges.  The strength born of adversity.

Part of the secret is not to get caught up in the craze to have more, more, more.  When we learn the pleasure of little things, when what we value has little worth to others because we have learned the secrets of happiness, that is when life feels complete.

I promised a picture of the trivet and flatware.  These please me:

IMG_0653.jpg

The rough darkness feel like an extension of myself.  There is nothing particularly special about either.  And yet like so many things in life we build an affinity for some little treasures.  The trick is to not become so attached that we become obsessed.  But by the same token, its good to gather things around yourself, that you like and feel good to you.

Its a balance, like all of life.   Its like the grip of a fencer on his sword.  Not too tight, yet not too loose.   Just enough to do what you do well.  In this New Year, I wish you happiness that comes from inside.  Un-tap that well, and you too can be annoyingly pleasant before others have had their coffee.   Carpe Diem my friends.. Be someone’s great day!

Crock pots and sore backs

Just three days of scraping and cleaning and hauling and demolition and already my back is sore.  Thank God for Crock pots.

Tonight’s dinner was easy.  Chop an onion, dump in the ingredients and voila!  The 7pm protocol is ready right on time.

Tonight was Chili, with lots of bread and butter to soak up the yummy goodness.  A little salad thrown in, just to keep it healthy.  But then chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup for desert.   Gotta leave room for desert.

2017_0101-dinner-sm.png

I like the idea of a carafe.  It feels good in your hand, and there is something communal about sharing from one.  And there is a control… This – is how much we have to share to drink.. Oh!  We ran out?.. slave.. go refill it.

The trivet in the back there, she’s a beauty..  Cast Iron, with place for two warmers.  I’ll have to post a pic of just the trivet and flatware so you can better see.

None of the flatware or setting seen here are used for anything other than the 7pm protocol.  After dinner everything is washed and put away.   The black handled flatware goes in a wooden box.  All of this has its own shelf area.

Dinner is sacred.    The idea is to eat in with style and grace, no matter how simple the food.. and then the implements of the meal are lovingly cared for and tucked back into their place to await the next meal hosted by Master.   The implements of the protocol are sacred.

Its the simple things.. the structure, the thought, the control, the organization that makes the life of a Master or slave special..

Carpe Diem my friends.   Be someone’s great day.

An evening of mixed blessings

Our New Years are always special.  We join dear friends at a house party.   Its a small gathering of BDSM people who get along well and the conversations are lively, the laughter sometimes loud.

Now that the House of X is getting started, I ordered Izrina to give notice at her job.   We have two weeks before she can stop the very, very long commute to the House.  Frankly, its a pain in the ass.  Its nearly an hour and a half each way now from her job at the ranch and of course they are still working her way too hard.

The New Years Eve party starting early, but we couldn’t get there until almost 8:30.  I promised to set Izrina on fire.. but the fire table was in the garage turned play area and it was too fucking cold to use.. temps here have been 40 degrees below normal.. so most house are struggling to keep up.

Then because of the 90 minute drive, Izrina had to be up at 3:30 am…  So how does she sleep and party between 8:30 and 3:30?   When I realized I couldn’t do a fire scene with her.. I tucked her into bed in the downstairs livingroom…  Where a single tail scene started shortly after.   That scene was followed by a rather noisy game of “I am thinking of a number”.

The number was between one and twenty and each wrong guess resulted in five paddles with a particularly thick piece of leather.  Then upstairs, after the ball drop, things turned silent and then noisy as a long time Master and slave owner proposed to his property.

I packed Izrina in the car at 12:30 and rushed her home to bed.  Tonight, she’ll stay at the apartment, rather than the House.  She needs a very long night of rest.  Me.. I’ve got lots more cleaning and work to do here.   I really need to do some light plumbing, and electric today.

So it was a mixed evening.. of challenges and high points.  I won’t truly be happy until my property is safely in bed and getting the missing rest she needs.  By the same token, I won’t dwell on the negatives.. I’ll just do that Master thing where I worry a bit until I ‘m sure all is well.

I posted an update on Fetlife for the House of X, and my goals and thinking are clear.  Well, the work isn’t going to do itself…. time to stop typing and get to it.  Carpe Diem my friends..  Go be someone’s great day!