A College weekend

When you think of a College weekend, you most likely get a vision of a campus and wild parties and maybe even the opportunity to hook up with someone exciting.  Well I am long past that kind of College weekend.

When I go to visit my daughter at her College apartment, it is usually fun, but not wild..  THIS weekend however was a different kind of wild.  When my daughter’s graduation came up, it was bound to be a weekend of ups and downs.

For starters, Google calculates the drive out to College as six hours and forty-five minutes, one way, with no stops.  Who drives nearly seven hours without a stop for a snack and a pee?  Not me.

Then there is the fact she has been in a three room apartment and accumulated a lot of possessions.  When we first moved her in I spent around $2,000 on the entertainment center, microwave, cookware, and other minor household items.  A second trip included the purchase of a kitchen table and chairs, and mattress, etc.

We spend way too much money to just dump it all.  It was worth getting a U-haul and storing.  A few problems with that.  First,  we have to pull off all that packing, lugging, and unloading over a three day weekend.  Second, as mentioned this is a very long haul to add on top of all that work.   Third, we also have to squeeze in graduation, and last dinners with College friends, and maybe a night of drinking.  Too much to plan? maybe.

One last wrench in the works.  Her mother, my ex, was going to be part of that.  We are civil, but I cant be around her long.  It starts out sweet, but in short order there will be a comment that makes me grit my teeth.  It will take the form of a joke, said with a laugh.  The laugh always comes with it.. and a smile.. but the words.. if the words were said with a straight face the only way you could interpret them is as a horribly rude insult.  But because these things are delivered with a smile and a laugh, we shouldn’t take offense.. right?

I have a hard time explaining this, but Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter is a perfect analogy.   She is sweet, and soft spoken and oh so terribly concerned and yet you instantly know that behind that sweet facade is a silent, horrible, steely, unrepentant and potentially vicious personality at work there.  Yeah, I prefer nearly any other company.

All of the plethora of problems aside, I love a good challenge.  I was sure I could make this work with some direction and patience. I should have planned on patience with no direction.

I brought a bunch of her friends, so I expected the packing and lugging to go fairly smooth going.   Was I ever wrong.   First, these are adults barely out of their teens.  Second, they are nillas who don’t take well to my dictatorial way of doing things.   Add her mother to the mix and you have an unhappy M in the making.

In my mind, I was going to just buy a bunch of uniform size boxes.  We would keep the consumables in one group of boxes, and the long term storage in another.  Each box would be grouped by room.. Bedroom storage, bath storage, kitchen storage, etc.  Storage would go into the truck first.  We would stack them maybe three across, three deep, three or four high.  When we got to the house we could unload the consumables, then take the rest to storage.  You know.. last out is first into the truck.

Yeah, well,  no.  First, her mother “saved money” by bringing second hand boxes of various sizes, then insisted on loading those boxes instead of the ones that could be laid into the truck in nice neat rows that stacked and tied down easily.  Even after I ASKED to keep them in the new boxes, they came down in the odd boxes.

Teenagers stood around chatting while I, who am three times their age, walked up and down the three flights of stairs.   After a few hours, by back, legs and knees were killing me.  Yelling at a nilla just makes them glare at you, and yelling at kid is worse.  So by mid-day, I just bit my lip and stayed with the truck, doing my best to cool my rising frustration.

The odd boxes were going to required lots of rope to keep it from shifting, since nothing stacked well.  I sent her mother with a twenty to get two rolls of clothes line cord.  She came back with fishing line and bungee cords.  Two small bundles of cord in the bottom of the bag.  Ah well.  I took pleasure in doing some Uhaul bondage.  A square knot here, a cinch there, a slip knot.  Some days you have to make your fun.

As the apartment emptied, (and I stayed with the truck) her mother took to cleaning.  That actually worked out pretty well.  I stayed with the truck and played with rope and the jigsaw puzzele, while she did what she likes to do in the apartment.

When we got back, instead of unloading at home, I went straight to storage and began to unload the truck, breaking open the boxes, and then RE-box all the stuff into the boxes I bought, the way I asked for.. long term in some, consumables in others.  By the time the truck was unloaded, we had about three quarters of it in a neat tight block of stored apartment stuff.. and about a quarter of it in boxes of consumable and clothes..  We ended up doing what I asked for when we off-loaded.  It may not have happened to plan or efficiently, but at least it got done.  It helped that her mother wasn’t counter-directing.  Yeah.. counter-directing.  If there is one thing I absolutely know, its that a project can not go smoothly with two bosses.

As I come away thinking about that weekend I am left with one unmistakable and firmly embedded impression.  I MUCH prefer people that take direction well.    I do NOT enjoy working with unmotivated teens, and I can’t stand working with people who don’t follow simple directions.  Finally, I hate working with people like Dolores Umbridge.  Sigh.. happy thoughts…  and soft kisses from my slave.  Life is good…

We all go through changes in life.  Make those changes positive ones my friends.  Carpe Diem!

 

 

Could go either way

May I make a suggestion?, she asked.  Of course my pet, I replied but inside my thoughts were churning.. what could she be about to ask now?

HOW my slave talks to me makes a huge difference in how I react to her.  Since this is a Master-slave relation, my focus is on my pleasure, my wants, and especially on what she can do to keep from pissing me off.

A few nights back, Izrina served my drink, pulled up the stool, put a blanket over my feet, then fetched supper.  She served on her knees, which cracked as she knelt.  I am aware that some protocols cost her.  I can’t tell you how much my heart swells when she does these things.  I love the girl dearly.

The suggestion she made was for me to call her, rather than she call me when we are driving to work, since my car is blue tooth enabled and it is an easier matter for me than for her, while we are both driving.  That was a good solid suggestion.

But there are also times though she pisses me off.

Izrina went to the refrigerator and the freezer door was ajar.  I had just been there. Something had shifted and the door was open a crack.  The ice cream was going soft.  She said in an annoyed voice.. “Master, when you close the freezer pleeeeeese make sure it is closed”

Now I was instantly annoyed as well.  I would never leave the freezer open a crack on purpose.  What?  I am going to spend the time to make sure it is open exactly one inch?  You can’t fix what you don’t know is broke.  Grrrrr….  What is it about one person being annoyed with me, that instantly makes me want to do a Donald Trump, Oh its on now!, full scale retaliatory attack?

There was the time I forgot to flush.  She wasn’t mad, she was disgusted.   Didn’t bother me.  A person has to come at me with anger or annoyance to trigger that retaliation response.

Any time we talk with any one, the feelings we evoke could go either way, EVEN IF IT WASN’T OUR INTENT.  We should probably be cognizant of this at all times.  I am aware that there are going to be things I do that trigger Izrina.  Hell.. some of them I do on purpose.  But we are working on a LTR… so we want things to generally go well..

There are many ways she could have approached her suggestion.  Some would trigger me.  Some would not.

  • May this slave make a suggestion?
  • I have a suggestion..
  • I have a request..
  • Would you please?
  • Would you pleeeeeeease?
  • Do you think it might be better if?
  • Is there a way this slave could?
  • I would prefer it if..
  • What do you think about this idea?
  • I think we could do this a better way..
  • I don’t think it’s a good idea to..
  • I have a better idea…
  • Can your slave do this a better way?

If the language makes it clear that the decision is mine and the tone submissive, indicating that what ever I decide will be accepted, that works best for me.  She doesn’t have to dance around making me think its my idea.. she is pretty brilliant at times and I have no problem with evaluating an idea, though I might shy away from directly saying its a better idea.  On the other hand, if she just saved me embarrassment, a great idea might earn a “good girl”.  I do want her language to be crafted for me.   For my part, I give thought to her insecurities.  It is the part of our communication I give the most importance and therefore thought to.

When people ask for something but choose words that suggest “I am annoyed with you” it doesn’t go well.   All my life I have often thought.. if you just worded that a little different, I would have been happy to help but not now.   But then I think, but you are no mind reader. With Izrina, I have no filter.  When she could have asked better, I will tell her.  The result is that she knows me better.  She knows my triggers.  She know when she is likely to get a good response or a bad, and why that happened.  I tell her these things.

The raw, open, honest communication that happens in a Ds relation, leaves no room for boundaries.  It gives both the Master and the slave the tools they need to understand each other better, and to work on a better life together.

May I make a suggestion?, she asked.  This was followed by a suggestion, in submissive tone.  It went well.  Some days I can be quite the mine field to navigate.

Carpe Diem my friends, go make a great day.

 

 

Making conscious choices

You can only be “guilty” if you consciously do something wrong. The alternative is being conscious and trying to do right.  ~ a recent Xtac quote


In that comment, there are two choices and both assume you are consciously considering all your pros and cons, as well as the implications of your options in relation to your personal ethics.  There is however, a second alternative.

You could be reacting without being conscious.  But what does that mean?  On one level, it means that you are simply reacting while suppressing any real thought.  On another level, it means your feelings can be conflicted because of this.

Let’s say someone sends a text, asking you to bring home a loaf of bread.  Do you just do it?   Do you recoil from saying no?  Is No even an option?  What if the person asking could do this for themselves?  What if you worked 12 hours that day and you know the person asking hasn’t worked at all?   What if maybe the request could wait a day?  What level of guilt will you feel, putting off the request?  Does your brain even consider IF you should do what is asked?

Sometimes you are “wired” to just do as you are asked.  You don’t question.  You don’t have an option to push back.. either it doesn’t occur to you, or it does but your “wiring” doesn’t permit it.

A Master of course would push back.   A slave normally would not.  It is fundamental to the mindset of Master and slave.  All of which is fine as long as both are happy and being happy means you are conscious, you are not suppressing your choices or feelings.   If your greatest happiness comes from the happiness of others,  you must be conscious of this.  Visa-versa, if you are unhappy you need to root out the reason why.   If you regret your choices, you are not being honest with yourself.  To put this into terms of the example:

If you are a slave and you just worked 12 hours, and you know the person asking didn’t work, and you stop on your way home and take an extra fifteen minutes to pick up the bread, but you truly don’t mind because it is a personal service to the person or persons you care about, you are making a conscious choice. You have thought this through, and chosen what works for you.

If you are a slave and you just worked 12 hours, and you know the person asking didn’t work, and you stop on your way home and take an extra fifteen minutes to pick up the bread, and all the while are a little pissed about it, you have made an unconscious choice.  You have NOT thought this through, and NOT chosen what works for you.  You should more deeply question where your happiness lies.

There are many reasons why we choose to do things.   Ultimately though our choices should be shaped by only two things.  Our happiness and our ethics.  If you find yourself conflicted, you must examine why.  Slaves are not the only ones with this issue.   Let’s look at a classic Master issue.

You are a Master and you haven’t been laid in a couple days and you really just want some oral service but you know that your slave has had a hard day, and while they never complain, they always let you know in other ways that this is not something they really wanted to do at that moment.. as if there ever was a good time… but you are who you are and you refuse to compromise what is important to you so you order this anyway, after which you have a talk about choices.. yours and hers.  You have thought this through, and chosen what works for you.

You are a Master and you haven’t been laid in a couple days and you really just want some oral service but you know that your slave has had a hard day, and while they never complain, they always let you know in other ways that this is not something they really wanted to do at that moment.. as if there ever was a good time… so you make excuses with yourself and don’t order it.  You don’t discuss it.  You have NOT thought this through, and NOT chosen what works for you, and so are conflicted.

In the first example, the Master was true to their role or honest with themselves.  This is where compatibility comes into play.  When you and your partner like the same things, compromising on happiness is lessened.  The goal of consensual slavery is mutual happiness so while compromises might happen, the fewer the better.   None of this can happen if you are not honest with yourself.  Neither you nor your partner can correct what you yourself are not being honest about.

If you have been dishonest with yourself in the past, you must correct this, and that means.. buckle up..  you must talk with your partner about it.  In the best case you will discover you both will be happier, in a worse case you will discover that you are not compatible.

All of this is why honesty and negotiation is so vitally critical at the start of a Ds relation, and then throughout your time together.  Some things you might compromise on.  Others you can not.  I for example cannot compromise on oral service.  If I can’t have it, when I want it, when ever I want it  (social setting permitting) then that is a deal breaker for me.  Each of us will have our limits.  Maybe its is anal, or golden showers, or something you think is worse still.  There are some pretty bizarre kinks.  Best you know what to expect in the most honest way possible.. and that starts with being conscious.. which means being honest with yourself, and your partner.

Carpe Diem my friends..  Go be someone’s great day.

 

When the slave trains the Master

I suspect that more than one clever slave has quite consciously trained a Master.  Maybe the owner wants oral service, but they nurse secret feelings of being too greedy by demanding this, and the slave knows this is a “button”, so they quietly and quite consciously press it.  Or maybe they put up a fuss about this or that until it was just too much of a pain in the ass for their owner to make them do it… gasp..  broke a cardinal rule there..

I said “their owner”.  A slave doesn’t own an owner, therefore an owner cannot be “theirs”.  Ha!  I love the semantics we play in Ds.  But semantics are all bullshit, right?  Or no?  Times up!  No was the correct answer.

Many a Dominant approach people like bulldozers.. My way or the highway.  That approach doesn’t take much thought and you can get lazy about observing people and their motivations when this is your way of interacting.  Many a slave are about pleasing people, and as such are quite adept at reading body language, facial expressions and such.  This can sometimes result in the slave, being more adept than a Master at reading a person’s “triggers”.

It only takes a few seconds thought to see that it is quite possible for a clever slave to make an owner believe that they are in charge when in fact the slave is out thinking and out manipulating the owner.

For example, a dedicated Dominant might have very strong feelings about not placing demands on their slave that impact their health.  They may not make demands based on a bad back, or bad knees, or migraines, or any number of health issues.  And a clever slave may exaggerate the degree of their suffering, to lessen the demands an owner may place on them.  An responsible owner will feel guilty questioning if they are exaggerating, and there is another button to press..

A quick and simple test to see if this is happening, is simply to look at the standing orders and the Dominants satisfaction with these orders.  If things are not getting done, and the Dominant is showing entirely too much patience leading to frustration with the situation that is a red flag.. an indicator that maybe the Dominant isn’t really in charge.  Or maybe, there is a health problem… Ok.. not so simple…

You see what I did there?  I started with a simple rule.. then removed it.  It goes back to observing your slave and doing some original thinking.  There is no simple formula. You have to be a thinking person, give time and thought to your charge, and to your dynamic, and decide for yourself.. are you being trained by your slave?  I suspect this happens more often than Masters know or would like to admit.

And the truth be told, while a slave may get over on a Master, it is very deeply disappointing to a real slave.  They WANT someone capable of seeing and defeating all their games.  If you can’t be smarter.. be more reliable..  never deviate from your desires.  It’s not all bad.

Your typical Dominant is going to settle for more of this than a TPE Dominant.  A total power exchange owner however is going to demand what they demand and are not going to be flexible about it.. usually.

A slave I know had cancer and her owner still had her doing chores and protocols and service.   Some others asked, why are you doing this and he said.. She needs this.  Now what you dear reader need to understand is that often we treat Cancer patients like they will break and what they often need is to be treated like anyone who faces a challenge.  They need a trainer who will push them to do better, and more than they would if they didn’t have a trainer.  When I say trainer, think of being in a gym.. and having a trainer that keeps pushing for one more exercise..

A good Dominant will also more often than not, correctly judge the times to be flexible, and the times to not be flexible.  Like a personal trainer in a gym, they will push you to painful places you would not push yourself, but afterwards you will feel a sense of accomplishment.. which is why you submit to a trainer in the first place.

What good would a trainer in a gym be, if you said.. I just had a big breakfast and I feel all bloated and I just don’t feel like doing two hours on the high setting on the treadmill today…let’s do thirty minutes on medium..  What good would that trainer be if they accepted that?  None!  Well a good Dominant is the same.  They don’t allow topping from the bottom, but they are not inflexible either.  A great Dominant is at least as intelligent as their property, when it comes to reading the clues in body language and such, and can figure out the difference between a problem and an excuse.

That being said, not all Dominants are going to be a good fit for every slave.  Some will be smarter than you and some will not.  Some will have the required ability to keep you on your toes, so that you don’t harbor a feeling that you are really the one in charge.. and some will not.  Oh.. even if you do find your ideal sapiosexual match, it doesn’t mean you won’t get one over on them once in a while.. but for the most part, you will feel that their gift of Domination is the complete package, and be happy to trust in their judgement, leadership, and training.. because you know exactly who is really in charge.

I’ve known a woman or two who were sapiosexual.  That works for me.. though once.. I tried to show my intelligence with such a woman and fell on my face.  Never try to reach.  Be yourself.  If its going to be, it will.  Don’t push.  Let it come to you.  The secret to great attraction is to come just far enough to make your desire known… then wait.

Carpe Diem my friends.  Go be your hot self….

Do or die

Into every life, there come do or die moments.  In war, on a battlefield, a do or die moment is quite literally a moment in which you must do or die.  These are moments when the next few seconds will determine if you live or die.

But there are many more moments in life when Do or die is figurative.  These are the moments when you will pass or fail, moments which will direct your life to success or failure.  This is the cusp.  You are presented with a narrow set of choices and whatever you choose, your life will change dramatically.

The lover fears this moment much more than the beloved.  A slave often understands this better than a Master.  This is because a slave can openly desire a Master, but a strong Master won’t show a weakness.. they won’t come crawling, begging to be served.

Some situations blur the do or die moments.  Marriage and long term relations for example often broaden this choke point, opening up the opportunity for prolonged periods in which a final change in direction is put off.   A job that pays really well but is one you hate, may cause you to put off the do or die moment of quitting.

Why are these observations important?  Because we need to recognize these important decisions for what they are.  We need to pay attention to when we have put off a “do or die” moment, and we have pay attention to when we make good decisions, and when we have made bad ones.  Sadly, the bad decisions teach us much more than the good.

Maybe that is because for all our efforts to be positive, we really do suck at it.  We often see say.. the blood and guts of war as the reality of suffering.. suffering is real… but the spontaneous joy of a beautiful sunrise or the touch of a lover as just so much confusing nonsense.. its not really, real. Not sure why people in general believe in the bad, more than the good.

I suppose it is because it takes real effort to break free from the world view imposed on us by so many.. parents, friends, media, groups, governments, religions.. they all want us to think their way.. and their way is often a version of “us” verses “them”.   These  influences draw sharp distinctions between good and the bad things, yet rarely all agree.

While we are talking about decisions, it is also very important to remember this:

We are always free to choose but not the outcome of our choosing.

All the best choices will mean nothing if the deck is stacked against you.  Sometimes, the outcome of your choices is far outside your control.  This is where I could speculate on the metaphysical aspects of outcome, but I think I’ll save that for another blog.

The point is, Masters and slaves need to pay attention how we handle those important moments.  The big choices.  How you make decisions is the second most important thing you can learn in life.

For a Master who wishes to teach this life lesson, nothing could be more important than to make sure that choices have consequences.  I personally have tons of patience.. but many a person has mistook that patience for endless patience.  There comes a time when I face a turning point.. I am beyond negotiation, where I have spoken my last word on a matter.  I personally prefer a three strikes approach to these kinds of things so the trick for me is to make that clear before the third strike. After I turn a corner, I’m not coming back.  Many Masters I know don’t have that kind of patience.. For some its one strike and you are out.

Up until now every time in my life that I’ve had a do or die moment, it has always been in the figurative form.  I hope I’ve made more good, than bad choices.  I truly hope it stays a figurative choice.  If the times comes for do or die to be a literal choice, I hope I prove up to the challenge, and if my life is given, it is for something good and useful.

Carpe Diem my friends.  Go be someone’s great day.

What a Master can do

What a Master can do..  to you.   A great Master with soft words can bring a slave to their knees, sobbing for forgiveness.   We don’t need to punish, in the rough sense, over a knee or such.. that is for play.

When we are seriously upset, we get quiet, controlled, our voice can become a monotone, and you know the walls have come down between you.  Its do or die time.  Any slave worth their salt knows when its time to get really, really humble.

I don’t have to raise my voice.  Izrina knows the difference between when I am talking with her and when I am talking to her.  We have a protocol for that.  We are like anyone when I talk with her.  But if I am talking to her, the eyes go down.  She is to look at the floor.  Any Master worth a damn can bring a slave to tears, with just words.

I alluded to this quite some time ago in Manipulation, trust, and slave happiness.  Tonight I would like to speak more, about what we do, and how we do it.  This isn’t a recipe or a manual though.  I can’t just give you some simple suggestions and then you suddenly will have some kind of magic control.  It is a mojo kind of thing.    You have to feel it, acquire it, but never work at it.

 


 

To control a slave, you must peel them like a grape and suck in their juicy center.  You pick them like a flower and inhale them deeply.  You just wear your slave as an extension of yourself but with passion.  You must listen to them, coax them, uncover their darkest fears, their ancient embarrassment, their denied passions, and you must see them in their naked beauty, that which lies beneath the skin, their glorious slave heart beating to discover the ultimate freedom found in the chains of their consensual bondage to you.

Izrina plays Sudoku.  She tortures herself endlessly with the most difficult puzzles imaginable.  And yet if I leave some mental challenge, a puzzle of another sort before her, she is likely to show no interest.  It is not so much the torture of a difficult puzzle as it is the the familiarity with the torture she has chosen.   Its a slave thing.  The delicious appreciation for a familiar torture, and the disinterest, perhaps even fear, of that which is new.  When you observe your slave, you will notice things, things unique to the submissive mindset.

Every slave is different, but there are some characteristics you will recognize.  Sometimes it is a nervous twitch under a hard gaze.. Or a body posture that speaks of a desire to not be noticed.. or called upon.  Maybe it is an unwillingness to make eye contact.  Maybe it is a ready willingness to come when called upon.  Maybe it is the smile that broadly shines at a compliment, or the self effacing withdraw at praise. Maybe it is the sad self inflicted beating they impose upon themselves for disappointing.

Maybe you see that your slave believes it is better to deal with the devil they know than the one they do not.  What ever motivates your particular slaves, you must see these motivations and lift them up.  A Master uses a slaves chains to lift them up from that which they cannot free themselves.

A “good girl” is one of the most wonder things a slave can hear.  It is worth saving for when a slave has been especially good.   “Master is pleased” is a more common comment, it lets your slave know they have done well, without any undue emotions.  The key is to praise your slave, in the same non-plus manner used when you are unhappy.  You want to be subdued, restrained in your praise.  You were meant to be served and they to serve.  Don’t make a big deal of it.

If you are going for self esteem, you want to reassure constantly.  It is important to let your slave know that who they are is very desirable.  If your slave is a woman, it is good to let them know they are beautiful in your eyes.   A woman needs to feel beautiful, to feel desirable.

If you are creating slut, you can forgo all that.  Though it is nice to mix it up.  Who says your slave has to always be a slut, or always needs to be built up.  Keeping your slave on their toes can be a good thing.  A delicious uncertainty of the social torture you will inflict is fun, and makes for wonder mini Ds moments.

Yeah.. watch your slave.. study them.  its how you do what Masters do.

Carpe Diem my friends, go create a great relation.

 

 

Great curves

I love the curve of a woman.  The graceful way the back curves in and then flares our at the hips…. well actually I’ve seen than in people born with a penis too.. but I digress..

I love the hourglass shape.  I truly do.  It doesn’t matter if it is Izrina, or some other body.  Its the shape that draws me.. not the person. Hmmm not quite right.  I was watching Hitch, and the co-star is beautiful.   As Hitch begins to pursue her, to profess his love for her, for all he would suffer and do for her, I wonder.. is it for something a simple as a body?

What is it at the core of a person, that makes us willing to lay down our very life for another.. what makes us love another person.   I will tell you.  It is not for who or what they are.  It is for what our love makes us feel.  It is what the person does to us, how they influence us, what they change in our perception.

I cannot imagine a body, however perfect and sexy, being more desirable than Izrina.  It is what she means to me in her totality, that makes me see her through the eyes of love.  I am aware there are women out there with breasts more perky, bellies more flat, but does that interest me? No!

There are many very beautiful women in the world that I would not touch with a stick.  Their outer beauty hides a hideous and ugly interior.  Never under estimate that which lies within.

This is why we must not rush into a relationship or commitment.  It is only after the boundaries are stripped away, and we see a person for who and what the really are, deep down inside, that we can truly love and appreciate them.

I tell you now, the most perfect physical specimen, the most beautifully photogenic women on the planet, holds nothing to the women who knows and appreciates you, and has the magic to make you feel alive.

I have seen this many times.  It is not the beauty without, but the sexy and seductive side within, that wins over hearts.  Curves are great for masturbating.. but if you want a real flesh and blood women by your side that you fall in love with more and more each day, then grow up. Put aside simple things and learn what matters.

Carpe Diem my friends, love well.

Kinky! Grandma

Did you know your Grandma was kinky?  Chances are, if she is in her seventies, she was.  Maybe not the way you are thinking though.

The thing is, my slave is very much a 1950’s housewife type slave.  She cooks, cleans, serves supper, and does little things to help release stress after a tough day at work.

Today we call that a slave but in the 1950’s we called that being a housewife.  The marriage vows stated it clearly.. To love, honor, and obey..

Perhaps it is not so strange that we call that kinky now.  For Grandma though, it was just the norm.  I would say that recognizing this kind of service as a form of slavery is an improvement over the 1950’s.

The problem with the 1950’s version of this relation was two-fold.. and both issues centered around gender.  It discriminated against women who were seeking equality, while also denying men the opportunity to be openly submissive.

The replacement of this model with equality should not destroy however, the desire by some people to enter into a relationship in which one is subservient to the other.   Equality simply opens the door for a consensual slavery in which either gender may negotiation a subservient relation.

Nor should the desire to enter into such a relation be shocking.  It wasn’t then and it shouldn’t be now.  There is much to be gained by this relationship model.  A Master-slave relation exchanges equality for equity.  The exchange is based on personal values.  Because what is exchanged is equal in value on a personal level.. it is equitable.   Equality is merely the starting point from which we can arrive at equity.

Speaking of strange perspectives…

I wanted my glass refilled tonight, and it would have been easy to just take care of it myself… but it is Izrina’s job to keep it filled… and since she was using my lap I would have had to disturb her no matter what.

So I bothered her to go fetch..  The thing is, if I try to take care of something myself, she might stand there.. wanting to brush me aside.. but also knowing as Master I can do my own stuff if I choose to.. and so there is that humorous moment when I would have to turn to my slave and ask the obvious question.. do you want to finish this for me?

That would not be a wimpy question that begged her to finish but a sincere one about her feelings.  I would be saying.. look, I planned to do this but I can clearly see you want to, so would it please you if I step aside so you can serve me?

I might be running a dish to the sink or a stray fork and she will snatch it from my hand. There is something humorous in that.  Its a bit like when I put my hand on her butt and say affectionately..Mine!  Well, it seems that when I try to do her service work, she has her own “Mine!” thing.  She doesn’t say it, but I can practically hear her brain thinking…  Hey!  that’s my job..  gimmie that!

Carpe Diem my friends..  go make a great day.

 

 

A suggestion, if I may

A great book, like a journey shared, reminds us not to rush to the end too quickly less we neglect enjoying the experiences collected along the way ~Xtac Quote

Izrina read again tonight.  I truly love the experience of her voice as the story unfolds, with its twists and turns, as our heroes suffer setbacks, and collect triumphs along the way towards whatever end the pages have in store.  Yes, its back to my smoking jacket and pipe evenings again…

If you are a Master, or an Owner, a suggestion if I may.  Have your slave read to you, or to your family if you have one.  If you don’t know what to have read, pick a movie you like and then order the book.   Or take a risk and have your slave pick something.

If you think its not something your slave will enjoy, show a little spine and order them to read anyway.  If you pick a story you know from a movie it will have unexpected sections that the movie didn’t cover, while having your slave pick will result in a story you cannot predict.

Perhaps you will like the story, or maybe not.  I prefer a surprise.  I find the unexpected is a good test of my ability to make the best of things, and often things that I wouldn’t have chosen turn out to be a pleasant change.,   With stories, its nice when you don’t know in advance where the story will lead.

I think you will find if you give it time, that a book shared becomes a looked forward to event, a moment of entertainment set apart from the usual mindlessness of TV, your faces all glued to the screen.  In a book, the reader and the listeners are engage with each other and it is a different experience.

I am sure like everything else, its not for everyone, but I can tell you that I look forward to our evening reads. If you give it a shot, I hope you find it as pleasurable as I, and if not, at least you gave it a try.

One last word.. the book selected is important.  Chapters that end in cliffhangers are the best because they cause you to look forward to the next reading, to find out what happens next.

Carpe Diem my friends, share an evening with someone special!

 

Not polite to point

In the movie “Yellow submarine” there are numerous humorous comments.. like the opening one..  Once upon a time..  or maybe twice…

The blue meanies are fascinating.  They giggle and laugh when being evil.  Young Fred, when faced with the dreadful flying glove says.. “Not polite to point.”  I have heard this saying before of course.. but why is it impolite?

Usually when you are pointing, you are pointing out someone… sometimes to point out something that you like.. look at the ass on that guy, or that woman is drop dead gorgeous.  Sometimes its because someone is dressed funny, or maybe its an inappropriate bit of humor, like an obese person double fisting two ice cream cones.

You want your friends to look too.  You want them to validate what ever it is you are thinking about the person you are pointing out.  I guess the reason you would usually point out someone is probably not a good reason.

Still, does anyone really care about pointing?  People are beating each other up over politics for crying out loud.  With the total lack of civility going on out there, does a little thing like what your index finger even matter any more?

On a personal level, I would definitely wag a finger at a naughty pup.  For that matter, I am fairly certain if I was making a point with my slave, I would drive the point home with a pointed finger.  I googled it…

Pointing at objects with your index finger is unacceptable in some cultures. In America and European cultures, it is considered rude to point fingers at others. This hand gesture is an indication of a dominant – to – subordinate behavior in the professional world.

I do like the idea of it being an indication of Domination.  I wonder..  does anyone even care any more?  If not, maybe I should do more of it…