The North East Power Exchange competitions

So.. what is this North East Power Exchange competition I’ve been prattling on about, you may well wonder. Let me walk you through our experience, to give you an over my shoulder view.


Friday – It was Friday night and Izrina and I stepped out dressed in our blackest black.  Our rendezvous was to be a super secret hotel.  Secret because there are people who hate us for what we are.  So we slunk in to the night, to a place only revealed persons that had ponied up the fifty dollar donation.  True, my money clip let our a loud squeal, but I stroked it and assured it this was a good cause.. Its more of a donation, than a purchase…

We arrived at the hotel, and while it wasn’t new and shiny, it was one whose chain names you would recognize… I’d tell you the name, but these are very real dangers that people enter into when they practice or support BDSM.  Thank God we found a business owner brave enough to allow this event.

The lobby was nice and oh so bright.. The man at the desk insisted on calling our friends room rather than let us just walk up… good call.. I am after all a social sadist and that makes me a terrorist, I am pretty sure.

Just a short walk away was a bar with card table set up to collect cover charges.. and a DJ and beyond.. a large dance floor that you just know has had one too many drinks spilled on it.  I was stoked because I love to dance, but first it was up to our friends room. Izrina wanted a boot blacking fresher from a sister slave who is quite the accomplished boot black.

I couldn’t leave the room cause the girls had my boots, so I futzed around in my socks until they were done.Izrina presented the boots, kneeling in slave fashion and I carefully examined the work… then held her face.. and asked her.. tomorrow when you do this. who do you need to please?.. You Master she said.. Exactly I answered.. don’t forget it.  I gave a look a Wednesday, and tried to judge her reaction to my speech.. I think she was sort of embarrassed by the intimacy but also pleased to see my care for Izrina.

They turned to my vest, and I headed to the bar feeling quite naked without my leather.  I thought the girls deserved it, so I brought back a drink for each, and a tip for the jar.  Back again to the bar for hugs.. Shortly I was reunited with my slave and my very missed leather.. oh.. I missed her too.. don’t start with me.

So the evening unfolded with laughter and stories punctuated by a dance here and there, which of course that lead to that hand full of hair blog you may have already read.  It felt a bit like the 80’s all over again.. the alcohol, the dance music, the hotel dance floor which always looks great in the dim lights, but when the lights come on to chase you out, suddenly looks terrible even with a good buzz on.

Speaking of which, I let Izrina indulge and she did.  Later she wished she had not.. If you’ve been there, you know what I mean.  Somebody find the bastard spinning the room and tell him I’d like to get off!  OK, maybe it wasn’t that bad, but definitely impaired.

We were not staying in the hotel since home was only 30 minutes away, so we excused ourselves early and got some rest.  I started early the next morning, and we back at the Hotel again by 10am.


 

Saturday Morning – The hotel was abuzz with odd looking people.. Crow with his super long flowing black robes that always makes him look like a magician from some alternate medieval universe.  Nearly everyone coming and going wore black.  A family dressed in bright colors, a dad, mom, and three daughters walked out to their car with luggage and didn’t seem to notice how they stuck out in this crowd… Perhaps they were just too preoccupied with getting on the road.. or maybe Dad said before hand.. now don’t make eye contact.. who knows.  I think aside from the hotel staff, they were the first and last nilla I saw until the bar opened again later that evening.  I remember walking by the folks waiting to get into the bar in my leather and black, and getting a very big “come hither” look with a dazzling smile from a pretty young thing. The power of projection.. its an amazing thing…

The room we wanted was behind a door with a conference room name..I don’t remember what.. doesn’t matter.. They are all have names like presidents or precious gems or precious metals.. the diamond room, or the Lincoln room typically..  So we opened the door and the organizers had put up a curtain, so you couldn’t see inside when the door was open.  Good call!.  Behind curtain number one stood Crow in all his might security, and behind him the door greeters waited with very cool badges.

The badges were all emblazoned with the cool logo you see on the NPE site.  Izrina as a bootblack got  a longer rectangular one in a plastic jacket she could clip somewhere.. I resisted the urge to grab her shirt and clip it on her nipples.  Mine as a judge was the same size.  Both had our names.. though Izrina’s was spelled wrong.. Izarina it said.. by the time I thought to suggest she correct the offending extra letter, she already had.

On the table were schedules, shiny and glossy, and square shaped pins for regular guests.  We were early and some vendors were just setting up.  Paddles and floggers and such being set out on display tables.

A gentleman who had brought a LOT of fun stuff showed up in a pickup truck and a group of us proceeded carry an odd array of wooden pieces into our private little room to be assembled. The desk staff watched as a line of workers in black paraded in single file back and forth through the lobby, much like a group of busy ants.  The staff said nothing as we shut the conference room doors again  and turned to the project at hand. In short order there were a number padded spanking benches, a suspension bar, and a couple of Saint Andrews crosses adorning our room.  NOW were were getting somewhere.

Red bracelets??? – Guests began to check in and we mingled between workshops.. Izrina did a few boots.. people filed off to workshops.  Crow took me to one side and asked as a volunteer to keep an eye out for people without badges.  Oddly –  right after that I did spot a couple like that and I politely asked them about it.  They showed me red wrist bands.. so I went back to Crow and said.. you didn’t tell me about the red wrist bands.. Ooops.. Later I met them again, and they were happy and understood the security was there to protect their privacy.. so we dodged that bullet.


 

Lunch!!! Feed me Seymour! – Soon it was lunch time.  Amazingly, the hotel which did have bar food, and didn’t take advantage of this opportunity to makes some extra cash, so at lunch break, we found our way to the various other food offerings, some in easy walking distance. Izrina and I had Philly chicken cheese steak..and though they tended to fall apart before you could get them into your mouth, what did arrive there was delicious.  Gotta have her make those at home sometime.


 

Workshops! – We wanted to catch one workshop in particular, on protocols.  Since protocols are near and dear to us both, I was really looking forward to that one.  So I pulled Izrina out of boot blacking and we went together. While I enjoyed it quite a bit, I am well, you know, pretty forceful in what I believe.  Our presenter however was almost apologetic.. in her effort to stress that you do what works for you.  Call me crazy, but I like a person who can shake my hand, tell me to fuck off, and then shake my hand again. There was one point where I told Izrina to write something down that she said…

What bugged me most though was stupid.  I sat behind the freaking table in front.. What was I thinking?  I couldn’t put Izrina at my feet if we were behind the table!  Afterward, I sat and spoke with Professor Kitty who gave the class, and we talked about Rules, and Rituals and protocols.  I have this thing I plan to put in my protocol blog I am planning and I wanted to see what she thought of it.. More of that when I get to my protocols blog..


 

Mingle time! – Now it was mingle time.  The contestants are required during the mingle period to seek out the judges, learn something about each, and generally demonstrate how they will represent our community in a crowded setting.  Its a good idea… you don’t want reps who are wall flowers. You can’t send a wall flower out to promote your cause.

One couple was standing in the center of the room, sort of looking around.. and I just knew they were newbies… So I did what the contestants were doing… I strolled up, introduced myself, and started a conversation.  Yes, they were new, yes they were interested in this stuff, no they didn’t know much about it.. until I mention flying.. which is local talk for going way, way, way into subspace..then her eyes lit up.  Oh my God she said.. it was just so wonderful, I want to do more of that!  So we talked about the bodies chemicals and how you can make that happen.

There was more like that.  Idle chit-chat, newbies, and old timers, talking about what made them come alive.  After speaking with the contestants, I strolled out to the lobby where and elderly gentleman was sipping wine and he told me that he was a writer and shared some of his stuff.. interesting..  A close friend of mine has two slaves and one is both a master chef AND a writer.. with one published book and another on the way..  Seems everyone in BDSM wants to write a book of some sort.


 

Dinner!! – Before we knew it, It was dinner time.  This time I sat Izrina and I in FRONT of the tables.. Sno gave a speech and filled time as each table took a turn at the buffet.. good food…  salads and hot biscuits and pastas and chicken and stuff like that.  it was all tasty.

While we ate, the Mistits, a stripper burlesque troop put on a show for us.. Some of the pieces were serious and some funny.  What was really funny was the very serious waiters who walked around the tables and filled water glasses as these women took their clothes off.. and shook their tits.  I don’t think any of the waiters stared.. Hats off to those guys, cause these was some mighty perty women…

Speaking of funny.. Oh my God the last bit.. Two Star Wars characters battling it out with light saber and shredding clothing.  That was pretty hot, but it ended with one in a mmmm compromised situation..  Both are woman mind you, but they both lose their light sabers and are now battling with an attached rubber phallus.  The villain is dropped to her knees, our hero grabs a handful of hair.. and.. then..wait for it… wacks the villain upside the head with her dick and runs out.  Had us all chuckling.


 

Let the competitions begin! – Our MC came out then and I and my fellow judges received our documents for the competition.  The contestants presented two things..  An educational piece followed by questions from the audience and a fantasy piece which could be choreographed anyway they liked, to any music they liked but which was meant to show without words how their dynamic worked.

We judged on things like: use of the stage, audience reaction,  appropriate costumes, appearance of comfort with questions,  etc.  Things like that.   We took notes and did our best to stay within framework of the documents.. There were guidelines for maximum point for each category.  We got one a page for each presentation, so two pages for each contestant for that portion of the competition.

After the fantasy and education portion, people filed out into the big room to play on the equipment and buy from the vendors.  I was whisked away to a room that was divided by tables. On one side the judges sat, while on the other, the contestants stood and answered questions.  This was the interview part and the third judge document.

At the end, we handed our documents over to a panel of auditors who checked and cross check the results.  They would come out in due time with an envelope that contained the winners names. While that happened, I returned to the playroom.

Now the music and our DJ had the place pumping and its time to talk about The Raith.  First, he drives a car with a license that reads.. Vampirate..  only shortened.. Half pirate, and half Vampire, he dresses the part with his bandana skull cap and his curly black locks flowing out from underneath.  Yeah, he’s hot.. He’s been working out too and his biceps are starting to look pretty good which I am fairly sure he knows cause he was sporten em in a vest with no shirt.  Oh.. and earlier I hit him up for a little jewelry project because he makes that shit too.  He also acts in a local yearly medieval festival. Sorry ladies…he has a girl…One of the mistits.. .


 

Time to play! – One of my favorite people in the world, Raven pup was playing with Sno who had her fetching things that she had laid out on the ground, and when that was done, she sent Raven under a table with the command to bark twenty times… all the time giggling and exclaiming.. good girl..what a good puppy..   There is a wonderful freedom in being able to play like like that.. sometimes Sno will just start spontaneous dancing.. I have a serious side that has a problem being that free.. but wants to be.. I need to keep working at stuffing that serious side into a box.. Oh, I have my whimsical side.. but its all calculated humor.. I miss but remember the carefree and playful side that we all had as children.  I think we loose a lot when we choose to be adults.  There must be a compromise.

So after pup finished playing, I grabbed Raven and we set up a scene on a Saint Andrews cross.  The plan was, since Izrina had to be up at 4:30, she would take a nap until around 10:30 and then get her own scene. I was planned to start in time for that.  I started Raven a little after ten.  oops again.

I had her strip down to just panties so there was all that lovely flesh to work with then lead her to the cross.  I didn’t let her have her chains though.  I pushed her into the frame and and whispered.. you’ll get your chains when your earn them.

There is this thing that happens when you do a scene in a crowded room.  People watch and if its a hot scene, people really watch.  Some Doms get off on that and play to the crowd, gauging how well they are doing.. not me.. I loathe those types.

When I am with you, I am completely with you.  The room melts away and IF I notice someone watching its like a little “other” observer taking a note.. oh..look someone is watching. and it passes..

So it was with Raven.. She could tell me the days and hours to the last time I took her. She had been counting up the time  to this moment and I assured her in a whisper to her ear, that I would take her, make her mine, and then brought my nails to her back.  Hands massaging, swatting, pinching, and a surprise bite here and there, I kept the sensation coming, until I felt she was ready for a leather massage.  The heavy flogger first, not too hard, the steady rhythm of a simple figure eight pattern..  The lighter flogger with the thinner harder straps lay idle in my other hand.  I call my two floggers sting and thunk.

I worked her harder and harder until I felt the first rung.. and shifted to the other. .  I worked sting lightly at first, again building up the force and speed of the impact, faster, harder, faster, harder and then the pause for the next level.. hands across her ass, pulling her back into my cock, she began to grind, greedy for some.. I pushed her forward into the cross and whispered..you’ve earned  your chains.  I fastened her then, placing her hands around the chains that now held her securely up.. last, I gave her a piece of metal to hold with instructions that if she should need to call red, all she had to do was drop that metal.. which of course she never did.

There is something delicious about the vulnerability of restraint, but to feel it, you have to use it.  I did.  I pulled my chopstick nipple clamps out and applied them.  I like these clamps.. when the rings are out at the ends, the pressure is very light, but as you move the rings in more, the pressure can range quite high.

She gasped.. quite nicely.. and I had yet another button to press at my command.  So it went. I shifted to Florentine,  thunk and sting hammering out a rhythm which when its spot on kind of reminds me of a steam train.  Chunka, chunka chunka..  Its comes in threes.. thunk, sting , thunk.. then reversed.. sting, thunk, sting.  Raven can take all the leather I can throw.  I threw for almost an hour, then released her chains and carried her to a chair.. well.. I started to but after I lifted her, she wrapped her legs around me to help.  When we got to the chair, we ended up cowgirl style.  A coat was thrown over her.. my bad.. I neglected to make sure we had a blanket prepared.

A side note..ANYONE I play with is required to reach out to me the next day by any means. Email, text, cell.. the  point is that I may not be able to be physically with you if there is sub drop but I can be there at the end of a message and I always encourage my partners to pour out everything they are feeling the next day.. it a  necessary and cathartic thing that I be available, even if it is only in the form of being on the receiving end of an emotional letter.

Raven was all floaty and trembling and well.. if you are a top, you know that joy of knowing that your bottom is having a good reaction and the even nicer joy of the after care trembles and other reactions.  After care can be the icing on your cake.  Did I mention I loose track of the room?  At some point, I realized Izrina should be somewhere around…. but she wasn’t.  I after cared with Raven and by the time we wrapped up, it was around 11:30.  Izrina had over slept.  So I packed our toys and headed off to the room to collect my slave.

This week she will disinfect, clean  and treat the leather we used on Raven.. speaking of which.. I am up for tips on how you do your disinfecting..  Ultra violet is probably the best choice..

We drove home shortly after and Izrina was miffed that she missed a scene, but happy to fall asleep in my arms.. Somewhere, there is a slave or two that is jealous of her for that.  The people who stayed over would have breakfast the next morning together, but Izrina had work, so not us.   And that my friends is the NE Power Exchange.  Our winners will go to Florida for the next competition at Beyond Leather.

Carpe diem my friends.  You don’t have to be kinky to enjoy life, but I can’t imagine living any other way.. Go be someone’s great day!

 

 

X says ~ Must see videos

OK.. now, thanks to emdimensional, I have TWO highly recommended, must see videos.

The first, The Butterfly Circus.. I have long promoted.  This is absolutely for everyone.

Eternity and infinity hold all possibilities and in a state of all possibilities existing simultaneously, rationality can not function. ~Xtac Quote

I have long maintained that we are children of God, free to roam all time and all space and for whom all things are possible.  Imagine my surprise after nearly sixty years into this life, to finally find a kindred spirit. If any of my thinking upsets your beliefs,  then you may not want to watch this new X ~ must see:  The egg

 

The infinite monkey theorem states that book “War and Peace” could be typed entirely by shear random coincidence, every dotted period, every comma, every letter, every space, every page of that monstrous long book, by a monkey, given an infinite amount of time.

People do not realize how silly it is, that the deeds of one human lifetime should earn you an eternity of hell or heaven.   A human lifetime is so utterly insignificant a span of time, an utterly small, microscopic, speck, a super micro particle on a speck, compared to the incredibly vast, boundless expanses of eternity.

To put a feeble analogy on it, it is like you own every bit of gold on the earth, the coins, the bullion, the nuggets below the ground and above.  Plus all the gold in the universe.  Rooms filled with gold.  Mansions filled with gold.  So much gold you can build streets and walls with it. Cities with it.   All that gold is this precious gift we call life.

And God says.. here is a speck.. let me see how you use my gift.  I am taking one fleck from one of my thousands of piles of gold dust that I will give you… one fleck only.. I want you to spend it.  And if I like the way you spent that fleck of gold I will let you keep all of the gold in the universe -an eternity of life, my most precious gift to you.  But if you spend it poorly I will take it all away and I will torture you for every fleck of gold that I took away, I will send you to hell for all eternity. You will never have anything to spend again ever and you will suffer.  You get everything or nothing based on that one small fleck.  If you spend it poorly it all goes away.  No second chances.  No opportunity to show you learned your lesson.  I won’t check on you again, to see if you are now a better person.  You will waste away, far from my eyes.

And if you spend well, then the test is over and you can spend billions and billions of specs. I won’t check if you spend them badly because the test was is over.  I don’t care about all the other gold I gave you, just that one tiny speck.

Put into another analogy, it would be like trying to decide if a person stays in jail for life based on their behavior in the first five minute after birth.

It would be like deciding if a you loved or hated a person based on the first syllable out of their mouth.  Not even the first word.. Just the first syllable of the first word. Hate or love forever, based on that.

Does that seem to you like a test filled with compassion, love, understanding and above all forgiveness?  Does this seem like a test you would impose on your children.. children you profess to love?

Wait.. it gets better.. God won’t tell you the rules personally, no he sent many messengers and each has a different set of rules.   Yeah… when you think about eternity, much of traditional religions sort of fall short for a thinking person.

Here is another thing about eternity.  Think of standing on a set of train tracks on a flat plain.  For as far as you can see, the tracks disappear into the distance.   You turn the other way and again, the tracks disappear into the distance.  So you think, in one of these two directions is the beginning, the start of the these tracks.  Logically we know that there is a beginning and an end.  But eternity has no such concept.  The tracks go forever in one direction and forever in the other.  No beginning and no end.  As it was in the beginning, so it is now, and ever shall be, world without end.  Time can go forever in both directions which means, that which exists now, may have always existed.  Somethings didn’t have to come from some place.. they just always were.. always existed.  There is no start, no creation, only a cycle of destruction and rebirth.  Its mind blowing.

Then there is infinity.  Eternity blows your mind about time, but infinity blows your mind about space.  If buzz light year can go to infinity and beyond, then he will be traveling forever.  Like the monkey theorem, if space is infinite, that means eventually, completely by random chance, somewhere else is a planet just like this one.

If you travel to infinity, you find world after world, and some will be like this one, and another, another.  Some will be exact copies, down to every leaf on a tree and every leaf that has fallen.  Every rock in place, and rain drop falling.  If infinity and eternity are real, there is not a copy of you running around on another world, there are many copies of you running around on many worlds.

We are not talking about science fiction here, we are talking simple logic.  If there is no end to time and no end to space, in either direction, then all things are possible.  Its the monkey theorem.   Again, when I talk about eternity and infinity, I am not talking religion.  But when I think about eternity and infinity, it shapes my thinking, especially around religion.

If you are wondering if I believe in God, my simple answer is yes.  My complex answer is no.  I do not have faith.  I have person experience that tells me there is something, what most might call God, that does exist.  I have tasted love and light so complete it is beyond words.  I don’t need faith.  I don’t have answers or words. I DO have knowledge based on experience.  Its why I must be the spiritual leader in my M/s relation.  I can help guide a person to their own experience, but I can not say what that person’s experience will be, what words they will put to that direct knowledge.  It is why I mingle BDSM with tantra meditation. Sorry to get all mystical there.

Normally, I try to put these ideas into more practical terms..  we have two great quests in life.. to learn to be happy, and to learn to make good decisions.  That’s easy to explain.  Easy to teach.  And on that path, we learn of power and love.  We learn of passion and compassion.  Of the ebb and flow of the universe, the value of things, the ying and the yang, that which we are here to do.. to become better children of God, or the universe.. if that works better for you.  Nameste.

 

A side note:  Like the concept put forth in the egg, I believe we each live in our own universe, but unlike the egg, I believe we run into other souls… kind of like a venn diagram.. but I won’t go into that now.  Its enough for me that the egg opens people to the concepts of eternity and infinity.  Its bad from my point of view, because it teaches us we are alone with God.. I don’t believe that.  And most of all, it is bad because we could be seeing the birth of a new religion. 

 

 

Sex and Oral Service

It seems sex has been on my mind quite a bit lately.  In the season of Christmas, when our hearts should be turned to charity and friendship, I did write a piece regarding the holiday spirit, but in retrospect its humorous because then I followed it up with a piece of hard porn.  Ha!  Inappropriate again!  Seems to be my way.  Freaking charming and disarming and then wildly weird (to most) and off topic, and inappropriate.  Yep, that’s me.

I was curious how the hard porn piece would be received by my readers, and interestingly, the statistics that came back from WordPress indicate that it was barely read.  The title however never indicated that it might be sexual in nature.  I mean, who would think that a title like “Ghost of Christmas past” would be hard porn? If you didn’t read the Ghost one, but are reading this one because of the title, maybe people DO pick what to read entirely by subject line.

Be warned people!  My subject lines almost never help describe the real content. More often, they are lead ins, or off tangent from the meat of the subject.  Bet you just thought – here he goes again… but nope

Yeah, we are four paragraphs in, and if you are wondering, when is he going to get to the good stuff, the sex and oral service stuff, well here we go… I am not false advertising this one, honest!


Izrina didn’t care for the Ghosts piece.. guess she isn’t a porn person.. Odd… shouldn’t I know that?   Bad “M”, bad!   So we had a discussion about “oral service”.  In conversation, she had referred to a blow job as a present.. and I stopped her at once, not happy with that nomenclature.

Time out for one itsy-bitsy cute thing.. When I told her I didn’t like her calling it a present, she did that slave thing.. the deer in the headlights thing..  the one where you can just read the panic in her eyes for doing or thinking something Master doesn’t like.. its just so fucking cute.. I love slaves.. I love the care and concern for Master’s pleasure and the burning desire to never disappoint, and all that.  Really, when this is your life, and its really what you are all about.. moments like that are just too delicious.. I know it was just a brief moment but moments like that are everything to me… and back to oral service...

So anyway, her momentary panic aside, I sat her down to explain what I meant.  My pet…I said, I have lived in slave relations and I have lived in vanilla relations.  You are quite right that a blow job is a present…IF you are in a vanilla relationship.  ( The panic again in her eyes – so cute! ).

You see, there is nothing more wonderful in a vanilla relation when either side performs oral sex for the other, and then lets them drift off into sleep, or ride out the wonderful waves of that orgasm, without any strings attached – no need to return the favor – no need to stop riding that wonderful place that orgasms take us.  So yes, in a vanilla relation, that is a gift.  In a nilla relation, I  have ALWAYS refereed to oral sex that has no expectation of return as a gift.  So in that sense my pet, it is a present.  The dawning of understanding my thoughts became clear in her eyes.

But in a Master-slave relation, that takes on a whole new dynamic. In a vanilla relationship, both parties are seeking for equality.  In a Master-slave relationship, their is an expectation that the Master will USE the slave and at times there will be no equity in simple terms.   We know that our exchanges are in uncommon currency.  Our equity is one that is difficult to understand, sometimes even by our kinky friends.  Panic passed, all was right in our world again, and Master was pleased with his slave.

NOTE: For a deeper dive into my feelings on uncommon currency, read my core values and beliefs or Uncommon currency.


Why do I think this way, you may ask?

In a M/s relation, a blow job is service. It can be ordered.  Its why I refer to it as oral service.  Now if a slave is suddenly overcome with appreciation for the gift of domination and wishes to express that with some oral service…. well that is cock worship.

Words and definitions.  They are meaningless until they have action.  But in a sense they are everything because they set our minds into a framework.  Words are the basis for a mindset.

In a nilla relation, a blow job can be a gift or a present, but I NEVER want to hear those words from my slave.  She may ask for permission to show me worship.  She may be ordered to perform oral service.   But she may never think she is giving me something, because I already own it.  When she gives me worship.. THAT is a gift.. the gift of her trust, love and devotion.  It’s subtle but important.  These are the uncommon currency that she gives to me.  A simple blow job as a gift from a slave??? Bah!!!  The thought leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

The mindset of Master and slave is clear.  I own her.  I own her body, and her mind.  She must set aside a part of her mind as the guardian that will report all things to Master, and especially note that which the Guardian thinks Master will want to know.  The Guardian will report damage to his property.. bruises, cuts and scraps.  A Master needs to know when his property is damaged.  I do not own her mind body and SOUL..  Her soul belongs to a higher power, but thankfully, this slave I own has chosen me to be her spiritual leader.  That was an important negotiation for me.. because BDSM and my spiritual quest are co-mingled.

Life is my spiritual path, but BDSM is how I share it. In this life, I serve by leading those who serve. I see the ying and the yang through out life and in BDSM, I can express it with passion and compassion, two sides of the same, each of us in our sacred role. ~ Xtac Quote

I would encourage you, if you are in a M/s relation, to never allow the scales or your exchange to tip.  A slave should feel grateful for the gift of domination.  They should never, and I mean NEVER, feel like they are giving more than they are getting.  That leads down a very bad and dark road my friends.  It takes some original thinking to realize what you value, and then place your happiness around receiving the things that you value.

This goes for Masters and slaves.  If you as a slave don’t like being used.. here I go.. you are not really a slave.  I am going to upset some people with that comment but I don’t care.  If you don’t like being used, then every time Master uses you, you are going to build up resentment for the inequity in your relation and eventually its is going to drive you apart.  And if a Master can’t use you then he doesn’t really own you.  If he doesn’t own you, then you are a submissive, not a slave.  So I stand by my statement.  A real slave in their heart desires to be property, and to be used for the pleasure of their Master.  Anything less and you are a submissive, not a slave.  Its fine.. submission comes in all levels and each to their own.  Be happy with who and what you are.. but don’t tell my slave, you are a slave, if your Dominant doesn’t own your body and mind.

So, my friends.. I do tend to go on, don’t I?  Here’s to Masters every where, using their slaves for oral service, or perhaps receiving the pleasure of worship.  And here’s to the slaves on their knees, tasting their submission in their Master’s pleasure..quite literally.  And here’s to the nilla’s with their presents and gifts – may they someday awaken to a greater world in which they realize we all live in systems of power, and then find pleasure  in that knowledge.  With their personal boundaries they have built a box from which their hearts can never truly meet.  I wish they could see what I see.  Carpe Diem my friends… go be someone’s great day!

“This slave”

I got a text, it read:

“This slave needs a nap”

Because I tend to reflect on every aspect of my Master/slave relation, this short sentence is fodder for a blog.

At first, the nilla side of me noticed the third person speech, and flinched at the raw objectification.  But she IS an object, albeit a very valued one, but an object none-the-less that I possess for my use.  Izrina talks in third person, because she is property, because she is not allowed to say “my Master” or “my anything”.  She talks of herself as an object, because I am crafting a mindset that is not for some, uncomfortable for others.

Almost as quickly, the Dominant side countered with: “Of course she speaks in third person. That is how the mindset is created.”  It is through words and actions that we create the conditions where that which we desire is comfortable, and normal.  It is through our daily exchanges, that we sometimes forget that others do not share this love or mindset.  In fact, shifting between nilla and Ms thinking can be awkward at times.

And then the Master in me judged my accomplishments with this slave.   The things she did without thought now, the things that needed reminding.  I  thought of the many reflections, like this one I was undertaking now.  I thought of the dozens of adjustments to my style, to the manner in which I brought forth my canvas, my creation, she who would be my perfect slave.

And then my all too human side thought…. God, I don’t ever want to go through all that training again.  Not when I have right here the perfect slave for me.  I grinned at that, and was so amused, I shared it with her later.  Partly because I know it would reassure her to know she is perfect for me, and partly because she needs to know that it is no accident – that it takes work to get to this point, and partly because when she realizes the first two things, she could worry less about what it would take to lose me.

Some slaves may worry about being perfect.  I find that to be normal.  But it is the Master’s place, honor and privilege to decide if a slave is “worthy”.  No slave should presume to make such a decision for an owner.  It is enough to trust, so that the owner may shoulder the decisions and worry.  Getting to the point beyond worry, where you both are comfortable and happy, takes a lot of work, and that too is normal.  Izrina knows that she may not punish herself, that too is my privilege.  There is so much to learn and unlearn. Izrina knows all this but still needs reassurance from time to time.

We have so many protocols, rituals, and rules, but collectively they shape our lives… both our lives, and we are much happier to live this way.  It took me quite a while to find the right material from which I could create this slave.  It is not always an easy thing to do, to find someone who compliments you, but I wish you all, the very best of luck in that search.   I can say this.  It is worth the patience and effort.  Carpe Diem my friends,  Make a great day!

When geeks collide

My slave and I are gaming geeks.  We both love Skyrim, and Minecraft.  If you haven’t heard of Minecraft, you can’t be reading this now, because the rock you are living under has no electricity.   Skyrim, if you are not familiar, is an incredible immersive fantasy game, rich with breathtaking scenery and endless hills and valleys to explore.  You can wander for days across this fantasy land as you build up the skills and possessions of a character who can be a hero, or villain, depending on how you feel like playing.

Now, you may be wondering, “Yes X, but what does that have to do with my throbbing sexual needs?   What about my deep lust for Dominance and submission?  When do we get to the good stuff? ”  Glad you asked.

Seventeen days ago, my slave and I underwent a little “adjustment” in her duties to correct an area I was not pleased with.  I have to say that since “Domination on Blogs, the quirks”,  the changes I’ve made have kept me quite happy.

It’s not fair to you, my steady followers to not explain.  What I was unhappy with, was the lack of detail in housekeeping.   I like a home to be neat, tidy, and presentable enough for company at any time.  Its the small things: dust that builds up, chrome that is splattered, baseboards that haven’t been cleaned, things that are not organized.   The little things add up, and the collective is messy.   A home should be a place of comfort, a refuge from the storms outside,  a retreat where you love your environment, and the person or persons you share it with.   I can’t be comfortable if the place isn’t spot on.  I’ve lived with disasters.  I don’t want that ever again.

I took responsibility for this.   If things didn’t get done, its because I wasn’t managing properly.  Izrina is first and foremost a slave.  I just needed to set expectations.  I expect anticipatory service, and I expect what pleases me would be done by a slave who loves to please, but no one is a mind reader.

There is a lazy side to managing that sometimes does not want to deal with things.  To be a good Master, or manager for that matter, you cannot let things slide. I was unhappy, and things needed to change.  When things do not get done, a strong willed person steps in and makes changes.

I need to say these things to reveal to you, what it is like in an ongoing, every day Master – slave relation.  Even when its perfect, you still have ups and downs.  Of course when things are perfect, a “down” side is more like disappointment than a total unhappy meltdown – especially if you don’t let things slide.

So I instituted a schedule.  Cleaning will happen every day, five days a week.  It will start each Monday, at the desk in the living room.  Five areas, one for each weekday, arranged in a logical, clockwise order around the home.

After week one, no dust, and everything was neat and shiny.  By week two, cleanup was a matter of finding something to clean.  By week three, cleaning turned to just a little tidying up, and organizing.   The home is now something I am very proud of, and more importantly, when I come home I look around; I am at ease.  It pleases me, and my pleasure, pleases her.   I don’t feel the need to get back up and have this or that handled.  Everything is on a schedule, and looks great.

At first, cleaning every day takes time away and at the end of a long day at work, you don’t want to give up that time.  Later, when there is little left to do, those few minutes of maintenance are easy.  She has a new appreciation, I think, for our home, and what she does in service to me.  We still have our down time, and that brings me back to our gaming geek side.

Oh, we are geeks.. believe me.  She has a book with over a thousand pages, on Skyrim.  She studies and take notes for when I give her some play time.  When she started a new diet recently, she poured over books, wrote shopping lists, collected recipes, and all of it was recorded in a notepad, in handwriting that is neat, and oh so tiny..  OCD, yeah, we got that.

Now that my daughter is away at College, finances are very tight and we are spending even more time at home.  That means more time to clean, and experiment with food, and play games.  Now of the electronic games, I will often have a bath drawn, and have a drink brought to me, then release her to play Skyrim.   I’ll do some Sudoku, to keep my mind limber, and then kick her off the game to go make supper, at which point its my turn to de-stress by killing monsters and exploring.

As a Dominant, I can play all I want and leave her to find something else with which to amuse herself.  I can be greedy, and hog all the play time for myself.   But gaming can be a terrible addiction.  You get to a point where you have things you want to achieve in the game and you can go hours before you notice the amount of time that has gone by.. unless you are the person waiting for your turn.. then time goes very, very slowly.   I know this.  I have that addiction too, and when I am hogging all the game time, I think about these things.

As I was sipping my drink tonight and preparing to kick her off the game, a thought occurred to me.    I wonder how many Master and slave relations have had fights because the Dominant was greedy and monopolized the entertainment?   I know it seems like a silly thing, but when you get home, and the cleaning and chores are all done, we all need something to entertain us, something to fill the hours with.

Often Master and slave entertainment is TV, in the form of sports, or a movie.  But it might also be surfing the net,  writing, painting, reading, or gaming.   Some of those things you may have to wait your turn for.  I wonder..  how do other Dominants and slaves reach a compromise on TV, or games, or the computer?   Or do they compromise at all?  Are some slaves secretly very unhappy because of the greedy hogging by the Master?   Should a Master give up time, say on a computer, if there is just one, and they are not ready to give it up?  Should a slave have to wait until Master leaves, to watch the movies and entertainment they like?

Its super hot, to say I am going to use you as my sexual toy.   I am going to fuck you any time I want and you will experience being a thing for my sexual amusement.   I will use your mouth, and your gentiles any time it pleases me.  You will not protest when I choose to undress you, and caress the parts of your body I desire, to finger and fondle because I can, and because every part of your body is mine.   Yeah, that’s hot.  I don’t see any downside at all there.  But this is an activity where attention is being paid.  Its quite different if you are being ignored.

Its not so hot to be sitting beside a person engrossed in a football game, that you care nothing about, and get no attention.  It is not so hot to be at the feet of a Master who is playing a video game, and all you want is your turn, so you are fidgeting and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Sometimes a full time relation is not as glamorous as the picture we paint in our heads.  Is it a slaves place to be bored and ignored, if the Master is happy?  I guess it depends on the Master and slave.  I know slaves who crave objectification, for whom being ignored is fine.  Others, not so much.  Yeah, it depends.

My solution for us is the “smoking jacket and pipe”.   That plus I do at times give up my control of our gaming entertainment.   After all, the goal is mutual happiness.  Some days, I am happy to give Izrina the controls, take her lap as my pillow and nap, while she gets her “fix” for some of her wild Skyrim addiction.  I think the real key is attention.  A Master needs to put down the remote periodically to direct, inspect, praise, and maybe enjoy a little Ds quickie.  The answer could be as simple as directing your slave to  paint or undertake some other project or hobby at your direction-something that becomes pleasure, and extends the control.  Control should be felt at all times, when you are living it.

If the picture I have painted here seems less than ideal for your personal preferences, that’s fine.  I works for us.  As I noted it earlier, “it depends”.   I couldn’t be happier and if her happy little sighs as I stroked her this evening is any indication, then she is quite happy too.  Life is too short to live for the future.   You have to find your happiness right here, right now, in the little things.  I couldn’t be more pleased.  Pleased with the home, pleased with my slave, pleased with how proud she is when she pleases me,  pleased with the comfort and love I feel when we are doing nothing special..  Odd… Just as a slave finds freedom in her chains,  I find so many special moments, when nothing special is happening.  Carpe Diem my friends.. Go make a great day!

Domination on Blogs, the quirks

I have to tell you that part of my control has to do with timing.  I will reveal information when it has the most use and impact.  If you read yesterday’s blog, you know that Monday I was unhappy but doubled down on the things I wanted addressed and yesterday was better.  I kind of released that information early though, before it had a conclusion.  I ended like this:

This evening was nice.  Tomorrow, if my expectations are met, they will be better still.  Or they might be worse.  I expect better though.

So I telegraphed my thoughts.  Problem is, my slave reads this blog too.  There is every likelihood that by those words, she might alter her behavior.  I don’t want that.   I would prefer to wait and see what kind of response I get from earlier interaction.  How else can I judge the effectiveness of my corrective application?

I am a Dominant that is very much into the pleasure of understanding my slave, and finding her buttons, and knowing how to to push them to get the results I want.   Having a blog can work both ways.  It can be a method of praise, or embarrassment.  What I write here, can influence in a very real way our relation.  I am always cognizant of this when I write here.

It is one of the quirks of having a public blog, that it work for or against your plans.  Worse, the written word is fraught with misunderstandings that just don’t as easily exist when you can see and hear a person.  A simple written: I love “this”, can cause a person to wonder:  Did I do “this” without realizing?  Was it a good thing?  Was it a bad thing ?  Is “this” a hint?  Am I supposed to be doing something?  Do I do this “thing” enough?  Do I do it too much?  Yeah, a blog can be a quirky thing, for a Ds relation.


 

For my blog followers who are wondering how this drama concluded tonight: The area I wanted corrected was handled far better than my expectations.  I am a very happy M tonight.  Even more so, because she was too busy to get to the blog to read.  Which means the things that influenced that behavior were in no way related to this blog.  Double bonus points!   Yep, I am very happy indeed.

I’m not ready to brag about what a good girl she is, or mention how pleased I am to have such an obedient and pleasurable slave, nope.  No such puffery here for her to read.  There is always time for back sliding and this particular area I am addressing is important.  If it stays attended to well, and for a period of time, THEN maybe I’ll make such comments.

OK.. maybe one little praise.  Tonight’s dinner was steak and veggies.  I pretended to be gaming while she prepared my plate.  I enjoyed the busy little dance back and forth, some pepper on this, a bottle of olive oil to add a splash to that… just back and forth attending to the plate with great care and attention to my preferences… and there it was… that love you feel that just overwhelms you.  The sense that your life is absolutely perfect, and before you is a person that completes that life, who in ever fiber of your being, just feels right for who and what you are.

Better to live in those magic small moments when nothing important happens, than to live for any imagined, great future.  Living for the future is a terrible waste of the present.  Tonight I am just incredibly pleased, and that is enough.  Carpe Diem my friends.  Go MAKE a great day!

When being a Master is no fun

That’s right boys and girls, pull up a chair and let ol’Master X learn-a-tate you.  Some days its just no fun being a Master.

If you are young and full of cum, it seems like having a slave who will serve you dinner on bended knee and then suck your cock while you watch football is something you might have to slap yourself for, just to make sure you are not dreaming.

Yeah, having a slave is great.  You can fuck her in the shower, and over the kitchen counter,  test every bit of furniture in your house, leave a spot here, a spot there,  and maybe if you are feeling naughty, test your friends bathroom together, or maybe some other semi-public place that isn’t yours.  Sure, who can get enough of that great sex, whenever you want it, however you want it?  I love the feeling of something wet around my cock when we are both feeling a bit naughty.   Its exciting.

But here is the thing.  You should not be asking for sex for the first thirty days of having a slave.  I know, you are thinking, but X, have you lost your fucking noodle?  I have this sweet young tidbit here, all firm, wet and waiting, eager to go, and you want me to just hold my dick myself and fap off??? What the fuck X?

Lets look at this three years from now.  Do you plan to be with that same wench, or are you just going to dump her when she bores you?  Come on, be honest.  You know bitches are a pain in the ass, even ones that say they want to be a slave, so do you plan on just fucking it and forgetting it, or are you thinking of actually giving something back?  Truth is, you probably want to just fuck it as long as its easy.  Hell, who wouldn’t want that.

But I am here to tell you that every relation, and I mean every freaking one, even the Master slave ones, are work at some point.  Sorry bucko… there ain’t no Disney land of fairy fucks that slave until you are bored and then go poof and disappear.  You gotta be a prick to get rid of them and guess what?  Everyone eventually knows you are a prick.  You can ride that gravy train just so long and then everyone has your number.  Everyone knows you are Sir Master asshole prick numero uno.

Look, I’m not saying you gotta give up all that fine ass to be a great Master.  I am just saying that you have to put away your teenage thinking on this one and get ready to be real about it.  Being a Master means a lot more than just getting some ass.  An acquaintance of mine has had a slave for over decade and you think every time he walks into the bedroom looking to get some, his slave is eager and ready?  Fuck no.   But he’s in charge and if he wants sex, he’s going to have some.  Even ten years later.  How many husbands get to say that?

He might say, how about if I give you fifteen minutes to get in the mood, or he might say, if you aren’t going to enjoy this, what’s the best orgasm you can give me, and still be in the mood for it?   He’s going for options they can both be happy with.  His slave isn’t the young artisan well of wetness from ten years ago, but still, that is still some good ass, and both are living up to their sacred roles.  If control, given or taken is your kink, sex is always good, when you make a Master slave relation work.


Now slaves.  You are probably wondering:  Yes X!, that’s all fine and dandy but where is my tidbit in all this diatribe?  What sage advice have you for this wet and willing slut?  Well my eager little flogger bunnies, now that we have talked about it from a Dom perspective, let’s just look at it from the other shall we?  Hmm that would be the side that looks up through shy eyelashes, and a coy smile that betray a warm and willing submission, yes?

When you first meet Mr Sir Master, the Dommliest Dom of all creation, all fierce, intimidating and just fucking hot as hell, sure you want to jump him.  Who wouldn’t want Mr bad boy to get a firm hold on you and make you his breathless sex toy?  Its perfectly naturally to want to nurse that weak kneed, wondering what he’ll do with this slave, excitement of being taken and used again, and again and again.  It’s hot, hot, hot, to find the bad boy of your dreams standing over you, rough in some ways, gentle in others, that makes your heart race, and your blood pound.  Its good to get a good pounding.  Its good to discover you are wet and willing at the drop of a hat.  There is nothing wrong with begging to be used, taken, and having it leave you exhausted, dripping, and full; satisfied to the core.

But again, that is the heat of the new Master, the excitement of sex, the smell and the love of it.  Where is he going to be in three years?   What happens when he comes in, and just wants his dinner and to watch football?  Are you going to nag?  Does the dream turn into just another crappy boyfriend?   What assurances do you have that there is more meat on the bone, than just his dick?   Is there any substance to your Master-to-be?  Does he have the other staying power, the one that holds back a temper, and puts up with your shit when your slave side is hiding?  Will he love you right on through a crisis?  Is THAT guy inside the Master you want to fuck?

Those answers can’t be found under a man.  Looking up at him is great, but don’t do it naked.  At least not at first.  The answers you seek are found standing beside him, BEFORE you’ve given consent.  If you are going to be a slave, be one, all in, nothing held back.  Make your body a gift, but don’t do it on day one.  You need time to come to that decision. You know that trust takes time and you know trust is absolutely fucking key to a Master slave relation.  Do the math.  Add it up.  Time+Trust=Answers.  You need time to evaluate this person who says they are a Master.  You need to find out if you and they are compatible.  There are worse things than being alone.

Don’t be the slave with the Velcro collar either.  The slave who is serially monogamous.  The one who had and slept with five Masters this year, but never while wearing someone else’s collar.  Oh yeah, she was like, “totally true” to those Master she served.  She was always faithful to the collar, right up until the time she took a new one.  Don’t think that shit won’t stink after a while.  If that’s the way you roll, people will come to expect it, and the Masters who come looking for you, will probably just be looking for some ass.  If you want more, expect more.


Look.  I’m talking to Masters and slaves now.  Damn, I know its hard to not go straight for the hot fuck.  We all want that.  Hell, I’ve made more than my share of impulsive choices in the past, but its behind me now.  I know better.  I not be young, but I’m still full of cum, and I can control it.  If you want to build something that lasts and keeps on getting better, you gotta step up and demand better… or walk away.  You can do that, if you don’t give in to impulse.  And if your red flags are flying, you can realize that its not the right time and place for you to be with a particular person, and just walk away.. politely of course.

Why the title and blog tonight? My slave ticked me off again. Yesterday in fact.  I wasn’t happy, she wasn’t happy.  But I stayed a Dominant.  I  laid down new expectations and doubled down on things.  She had a very hard time with her evening ritual : Daily gratitude.  When you are having a bad day, finding things to be grateful for is hard.  But she came through.  (Good girl my pet, every day we get a little better).

This evening was nice.  Tomorrow, if my expectation are met, they will be better still.  Or they might be worse.  I expect better though.  At the time it was no fun.  Looking back though, this kind of control and adjustment and new control is EXACTLY what I am about, and in retrospect, it will have been fun.  Every relation has work to be done, and if you are not with a person who can do or will do the work, then move on.

Obscurity, revisited – shhh! The secret of happiness revealed.

I was re-reading my last post, finding and correcting the spelling mistakes that I always seem to find AFTER I click post, and this hit me:

Its been another great day as a Master and property owner.  As she left for work this morning, I said, see you tonight.  She said, I wish I had a remote that allowed me to fast forward to then.  It made me smile and be warmed.

You may not see anything wrong in that statement but Izrina would catch it right away.  If SHE said this, I’d be on her right away.  The part of this that would cause this is “It made me smile”.   I try to strike that kind of language from my world, and hers.

Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing should “make me” anything.  I will “make me”.  I will choose what I attach focus to, and what I dismiss.  It is by this action that I create a happier me.  It can be an effort, but what I get in return is exactly what you want.. Its what anyone reading this wants.

Oh sure, you may be alone and want a Master, or a slave. You may want to be held, or have better sex.  You may want a sexier car or maybe just one that is more dependable.  You may want to own your house, or have a second one for rental income or a vacation spot.  I could guess forever at what you think you want, but here is the point: You want these things because you want happiness.  Really, all you want is happiness.   Does it matter where you find it, if you have it?

What I might have said was: I focused on those words, and felt warmed by them.  THIS would be more in keeping with what I teach.  “Made me” is so very hard to drive out of your language.  I’ve been at it for years and it still creeps in from time to time.

We embrace things or not. We give focus to things or not.  And when we embrace or focus on a thing, does it “make us” still?  To answer that question, I would point out that a Master may give oral service to a slave and still be in control.  A slave can give oral service to a Master and still be a consensual slave. Neither was ultimately “made” to give service.  Both chose to embrace it.

Through consent the slave chose to be Dominated.  The oral service was by extension, a choice.  The Master chose to exercise their Dominance in this manner and perhaps was a bit sadistic with the orgasm, to use that control further.  Both performed the same service, yet their head was in a completely different place.  When we consent, when we give focus to a thing, it no longer “makes us”.

When we say, this made me, or that made me, we are giving up control to every possible good and bad thing in our life.  But when we give focus to the good and dismiss the bad, we take control of our happiness, and our lives become more rich and full. Effort is rewarded.  You will find it easier to ignore the bad, and enjoy the good over time.  No doubt about it, the phoenix has risen.  Got to finish up a little house repair, and then its time for a motorcycle ride I think.  Life is good!

Protocols that slip into obscurity

Tonight Izrina started to nod off in my arms, that lazy droopy eyed state she gets, where she talks in slurred speech as if drunk with sleep.. she’s so cute..  then, I asked for her gratitude ritual.

I mentioned earlier in the blog “Slaves don’t screw up, part 1”, that sometimes this ritual doesn’t happen the way I want.  Since I went public with that, I have been especially attentive to this ritual.  Like the captain that burned his ships so there was no turning back for the army, being public about this ritual has caused me to feel extra committed to its attention.

Now tonight, as she was just about to become incapable of coherent speech, I asked for her gratitude items.  It was to my recollection, one of the nicer moments in our day.  She searched her memory for something pleasant from the day and offered her first gratitude.  I asked questions about that and we talked a bit.  And so it went, three things she felt grateful for in her day, three conversations.

I am ever mindful of how she finds happiness.  It should be from simple pleasures, and pride should never play a large role.  It pleased me to have this opportunity to find good in our lives, and for me to be my Dominant self, guide and mentor, as we discussed the good in her day.  I provided thought on each one, and was especially pleased with some.

Having completed her gratitude ritual, she was free to nod off and she dropped into sleep almost immediately.   I however lay awake, thinking about how warm and nice that exchange had been.. and how it lay in sharp contrast to my feelings on this matter earlier.

I had some reflection to do.  How was it possible for me to feel one way on one day, and so vastly different on another day.  Was I unfair previously?  Had something changed?   What could be learned, to make all future rituals this pleasant?

It struck me that the key difference was the personal nature of the exchange.  Our schedules do not always align.  She has to be up very early.  Barns and horses do not function on a 9 to 5 schedule.   So we often resort to text.  I am not one of those people who hates technology.   Quite the opposite, I love and embrace it.

But it is not just technologies fault for the frequent lack of personal approach.  I think moving forward, when she must turn in early and I will be up a while, I will add a new protocol.  She won’t just ask for permission to go to bed ahead of me,  I will also have to tuck her in.  As I recall, this was an early protocol that I’ve let lapse and that is part of the problem.  When we go sleep at the same time, the protocol for her to join me in bed is firmly in place.  She always kneels by the side of the bed and requests permission to join me.

But when she goes to sleep first, well that protocol needs attention.  If we can’t sleep on the same schedule, we can still make time to make something special of that moment.  We can take time for me to tuck her in, for me to sit and listen to her rituals, and to send her to sleep with a warm exchange.  Our lives will be better with this protocol firmly back in place.

And for the times when I can’t be there when she sleeps,  that is when the ritual lapse has  happened.  That is the real area of concern. Text is available, but isn’t sent.  It may seem odd to make such a big deal about such a little thing, listing three things you are grateful for.  But this is part of what defines me.. the need to have these rules, rituals, and protocols, and have them obeyed with consistency.  One more thing, just to be clear, it is not excusable for a requirement to not happen, just because I am not home.

All of this is why we need to keep the list short.. If you can’t remember all of your rules, rituals, and protocols, how can you be sure that there is consistency?   The lapse of the tuck in protocol highlights this.  If you can’t keep a protocol, don’t start it in the first place.. or officially retract it. Nothing is worse for a Master or a slave, than letting a protocol just slide into obscurity without conversation.

Its been another great day as a Master and property owner.  As she left for work this morning, I said, see you tonight.  She said, I wish I had a remote that allowed me to fast forward to then.  It made me smile and be warmed.

In retrospect though, I should have talked more about that.  Our happiness can not be found by waiting for someone or something.  It must be found in every moment.  And if someone or something pleasant awaits in our future, we shouldn’t rush the opportunities of now, to get to some future promise of happiness.  Doing so only makes now unbearable.  Better to put effort into making every moment full of joy.   Life always presents challenges with opportunities, how we tackle them makes all the difference.  Carpe Diem my friends… Go make a great day.

Slaves don’t screw up, part 1

In keeping with this whole “Dom’s don’t cry” theme I think its about time we flipped over the cards and showed the other side.  Normally, I don’t allow anything but the good side of my Ds relation to be revealed in this blog.  And there is plenty of good stuff to talk about.

Work today basically sucked, but I had a hot tub and a cold drink waiting for me to relax with, just as I ordered, which pleased me greatly.  Supper too was exactly as requested and again, I was quite pleased.

But I have this thing going on for the past few days that frankly is pissing me off.  If you have read my blog much, you will know about our two daily rituals, Daily appreciation, and Daily Gratitude.  The day starts with the first and ends with the second.  Lately, Izrina has been skipping her Daily Gratitude ritual.

This triggers my Dom side to get serious.  First I am unhappy, displeased, and generally shocked.  What I do when a slave doesn’t behave like a slave is stick to the program and refuse to let it go or overlook it.   I am going to be the Dom I was meant to be, and nothing changes that.  So I check my anger, I draw my patience, and I point out what was missed, and I wait for this to be corrected.  And it does get corrected, because nothing else will get my attention until this is done.

But in the meantime a whole host of things are happening inside me.  First, I am thinking, “How the hell can this happen?  Am I not clear, do we not do this every day?  What possible reasoning could there be that allows this failure?  Does she not know that I won’t let this slide?  How could she not know I am going to double down on this?”

I know it can be difficult at times to shift into gratitude mode and to think of three things that actually were nice in a rotten day can be a chore, but that is the whole point.  When life is rough, we have to work at the mental shift, we have to put effort into changing our focus. This is important.  I am not going to let it just drop.  Again, wth???

While I am checking my anger, and  working my patience, I am now at a disadvantage regarding finding my own happiness.  I guess I could be happy that I have material to work on, but ignoring a standing ritual shouldn’t be one of those areas I need to fix or work on, or so I reason.  So I just am annoyed and puzzled. But I won’t let things make me, I make me, so now I invest effort into not being annoyed.  And that need to put in effort leads to a new annoyance which I must erase.  And so it goes, the trigger that causes me to work harder at being both Dom and spiritual leader.  In most respects, and most times, she is a perfect slave.

So yes, sometimes there is trouble in paradise.  Some times a perfect slave does screw up and frankly I can’t say I know exactly why.  I am generally fairly good at reading her mind but this one has me stumped.   It happens from time to time, things just like this and I just wonder.. where did my perfect slave go.. and when will she be back?  Why is this stranger challenging me?

Like I said earlier, normally, I don’t allow anything but the good side of my Ds relation to be revealed in this blog – but I don’t want you to get the impression that screw ups never happen or that everything is always perfect.  The fact is, sometimes slaves do screw up, but with patience and determination I can make it right, but I can’t get inside her head when she isn’t acting “all slave like” – and that pisses me off too.

Like I also said earlier, I personally have a lot to be grateful for tonight, and I will be damned if this one thing will get in the way of a good mood or an otherwise wonderful evening.  It is what it is and I’ll deal with it.  Carpe Diem my friends!