Respecting diversity ( a rant from my muse )

Respect for diversity is good, its even better as respect for diversity of thought.  ~ X Quote

If you have followed me from the beginning, somewhere I MUST have pointed out that I believe it is my parental duty to teach only two things to teach my daughter.  The second lesson is how to make good decisions.  In a nutshell, one of the principles of making good decisions is to not get your advice from an echo chamber.  The council you seek is important.  How you weigh that council is important.  You need advice from your friends, AND your enemies.  Diversity of thought is not just good behavior, its a brilliant principle of living a life guided by wisdom.

Let me say this in simple words…  Being sensitive to some people does not give you the right to be insensitive to others..  We call that being a jerk!  It seems that somewhere down the road of instilling respect for diversity, a moral high ground of opinions was established and any thought contrary to the selected line of thinking, was considered fair game for disrespect.

Now while the word “moral” is still fresh, I need to go off on this tangent.  I don’t believe in morals.  I believe in ethics.  Moral behavior tends to be more about proper behavior but ethical behavior seeks equity  as judged within the context and values of the parties involved.  Read my lips..  “moral anything” is bullshit!  Go fling your cow patties someplace else.

I am not a fan of hatred either.  Even of people that “deserve” to be hated.  You have to understand that hate is a poison and a disease.  It hurts the one who holds it and if a person is not cured of their hatred, eventually hatred will kill its host.  Step one is to free yourself from moral superiority.  Then any other sense of superiority.  The right path is a healthy dose of humility and respect for diversity.

One question I wish I could answer is:  When did it become OK, to hate people that “deserve” it?  I think it was so slow a process, we never noticed it happen. Like the infamous frog in the slowly boiling water, we were just too stupid to see it or jump out of the freaking pot.

The war of the sexes was when I first started to notice.  Maybe ten years ago, many a commercial made fun of men. It was part of the process of marketing to women..Hey! Its a huge market, so its OK, right?  But who decided that hating on men endeared the average woman to your products?   Blonde jokes and men who don’t stop for directions..  We pick at each other and don’t give it any thought at all to it.  Racial, religious, aging, fat people, rude people, where do we not feed a secret prejudiced?  And who the hell gets to decide the criteria that makes a person fair game for hatred?  Does anyone not see the foolishness of these thoughts?  Some days I just want to yell… let me off.  The diatribe is just so venomous.

And when the hell did we start thinking that giving respect was somehow weak or foolish?   You must give respect because of who you are, not because of who you are giving it to.  Respect can be lost though, and what do you do then?  You cut that influence out of your life.  When you see dishonesty and hatred, distance yourself from it but do it with a carefree heart.

Or.. and this is a really big but..you can get into the face of really serious oppressors and demonstrate your capacity for love and patience.  But that is a dangerous game.  There are some very dangerous dangers haters and suppressors in the world and it is right to be careful and cautious.   Some places are more dangerous than others. We sometimes forget that our values are not universal.  You can’t judge what others will do, based on what you think everyone should do.

Keep in mind that if  you are free to protest where you are with relative safety, than you are already in a pretty good place. Its the places you are not safe to protest, that need the most work.  That is so logical it almost shouldn’t need to be said.

I wouldn’t recommend for example, that women stage a peaceful protest in a country steeped in Sharia Law.  But… if you really want to fight oppression, shouldn’t you do it where oppression lives?  Wouldn’t it warm your heart to see a little girl power in a Sharia Law country?  I mean if it didn’t turn into a stoning and blood bath, it would be nice.  If my reference to Sharia Law makes you think I am picking on Muslims not so.  I dislike oppression and hatred from anyone.

I Googled places not safe for women to travel alone. Would you believe that India and Mexico were both very high on the list of places where women that travel alone get raped?   Look these are just statistics..I am not putting emotion into it.  I would love to see real hatred faced with peaceful protests in places that really suppress freedom. Take Russia’s open hostility to gays.  Now there is a place to go and peacefully protest, if you want to really want to stare down oppression of LGBT rights. 

It takes real courage and commitment to go into a lions den and face down haters without giving in to hate yourself.  Most people are better suited to just distance themselves from it, and even then they have a hard time doing so with a light heart.  If you can face hatred with love, bravo!   Its a rare individual who can walk away from hatred without wearing some, even more rare to face it boldly with love.

And what if you are the person who hates the haters?  Whatever your twisted logic, then you are part of the problem. Round and round it goes.  Hatred and more hatred.  You have to be the person who stops it.  Each person who just says no to hate, who’s message of tolerance and love comes through clear in their protest,  is another finger in the dam.  If you can not protest with love in your heart, don’t fucking do it.

If you value respect, and diversity, and honesty, that does not mean that you must give bullets to your enemy.  Freedom sometimes gets deadly serous. The refugee crisis is proof that more people choose to distance themselves than fight back.  Anyone can choose to resist being pulled in, resist interacting with them.

It may help to let yourself see the sad pathetic, hate diseased person they are.  You may need to see this first, before you can send love and pity their way.. from a distance of course.. because they probably won’t understand and possibly hate you even more.

In stark reality, if a person wants to kill or convert you, you have three choices.. kill them first, or convert them first, or distance yourself.  If you are backed into a corner though, then it is self defense time and all rules of ethical behavior are off.

It’s strange that to protect ourselves from that which we do not believe in, we must sometimes adopt the methods of the very people we disagree with.  Life is really fucking strange at times.  I wish we lived in a world where more people embraced diversity and love.  Strangely, this forum, the internet, has that capacity to make the world one large melting pot, to bring us all closer together..

Why this subject, and why now?  When I started writing I haven’t a clue.   Something told me I should have this rant so I did.  It seemed to align somewhat with recent news but not on either side of the political coin.  I believe in serendipity.  Things happen for a reason.  Somewhere, somehow, this rant makes sense.. I just don’t know why yet.. and maybe I never will.. But I trust that things have a way of happening when they should, even if we don’t understand the bigger picture.  So I listened to my muse.   Wow.. got all metaphysical on you.. sorry.. I’m done with the sharp words.. If you need me, I’ll be the one in the corner playing with knives instead. I’m complex like that.  Carpe Diem my friends..  Go be someone’s great day.

X says ~ Must see videos

OK.. now, thanks to emdimensional, I have TWO highly recommended, must see videos.

The first, The Butterfly Circus.. I have long promoted.  This is absolutely for everyone.

Eternity and infinity hold all possibilities and in a state of all possibilities existing simultaneously, rationality can not function. ~Xtac Quote

I have long maintained that we are children of God, free to roam all time and all space and for whom all things are possible.  Imagine my surprise after nearly sixty years into this life, to finally find a kindred spirit. If any of my thinking upsets your beliefs,  then you may not want to watch this new X ~ must see:  The egg

 

The infinite monkey theorem states that book “War and Peace” could be typed entirely by shear random coincidence, every dotted period, every comma, every letter, every space, every page of that monstrous long book, by a monkey, given an infinite amount of time.

People do not realize how silly it is, that the deeds of one human lifetime should earn you an eternity of hell or heaven.   A human lifetime is so utterly insignificant a span of time, an utterly small, microscopic, speck, a super micro particle on a speck, compared to the incredibly vast, boundless expanses of eternity.

To put a feeble analogy on it, it is like you own every bit of gold on the earth, the coins, the bullion, the nuggets below the ground and above.  Plus all the gold in the universe.  Rooms filled with gold.  Mansions filled with gold.  So much gold you can build streets and walls with it. Cities with it.   All that gold is this precious gift we call life.

And God says.. here is a speck.. let me see how you use my gift.  I am taking one fleck from one of my thousands of piles of gold dust that I will give you… one fleck only.. I want you to spend it.  And if I like the way you spent that fleck of gold I will let you keep all of the gold in the universe -an eternity of life, my most precious gift to you.  But if you spend it poorly I will take it all away and I will torture you for every fleck of gold that I took away, I will send you to hell for all eternity. You will never have anything to spend again ever and you will suffer.  You get everything or nothing based on that one small fleck.  If you spend it poorly it all goes away.  No second chances.  No opportunity to show you learned your lesson.  I won’t check on you again, to see if you are now a better person.  You will waste away, far from my eyes.

And if you spend well, then the test is over and you can spend billions and billions of specs. I won’t check if you spend them badly because the test was is over.  I don’t care about all the other gold I gave you, just that one tiny speck.

Put into another analogy, it would be like trying to decide if a person stays in jail for life based on their behavior in the first five minute after birth.

It would be like deciding if a you loved or hated a person based on the first syllable out of their mouth.  Not even the first word.. Just the first syllable of the first word. Hate or love forever, based on that.

Does that seem to you like a test filled with compassion, love, understanding and above all forgiveness?  Does this seem like a test you would impose on your children.. children you profess to love?

Wait.. it gets better.. God won’t tell you the rules personally, no he sent many messengers and each has a different set of rules.   Yeah… when you think about eternity, much of traditional religions sort of fall short for a thinking person.

Here is another thing about eternity.  Think of standing on a set of train tracks on a flat plain.  For as far as you can see, the tracks disappear into the distance.   You turn the other way and again, the tracks disappear into the distance.  So you think, in one of these two directions is the beginning, the start of the these tracks.  Logically we know that there is a beginning and an end.  But eternity has no such concept.  The tracks go forever in one direction and forever in the other.  No beginning and no end.  As it was in the beginning, so it is now, and ever shall be, world without end.  Time can go forever in both directions which means, that which exists now, may have always existed.  Somethings didn’t have to come from some place.. they just always were.. always existed.  There is no start, no creation, only a cycle of destruction and rebirth.  Its mind blowing.

Then there is infinity.  Eternity blows your mind about time, but infinity blows your mind about space.  If buzz light year can go to infinity and beyond, then he will be traveling forever.  Like the monkey theorem, if space is infinite, that means eventually, completely by random chance, somewhere else is a planet just like this one.

If you travel to infinity, you find world after world, and some will be like this one, and another, another.  Some will be exact copies, down to every leaf on a tree and every leaf that has fallen.  Every rock in place, and rain drop falling.  If infinity and eternity are real, there is not a copy of you running around on another world, there are many copies of you running around on many worlds.

We are not talking about science fiction here, we are talking simple logic.  If there is no end to time and no end to space, in either direction, then all things are possible.  Its the monkey theorem.   Again, when I talk about eternity and infinity, I am not talking religion.  But when I think about eternity and infinity, it shapes my thinking, especially around religion.

If you are wondering if I believe in God, my simple answer is yes.  My complex answer is no.  I do not have faith.  I have person experience that tells me there is something, what most might call God, that does exist.  I have tasted love and light so complete it is beyond words.  I don’t need faith.  I don’t have answers or words. I DO have knowledge based on experience.  Its why I must be the spiritual leader in my M/s relation.  I can help guide a person to their own experience, but I can not say what that person’s experience will be, what words they will put to that direct knowledge.  It is why I mingle BDSM with tantra meditation. Sorry to get all mystical there.

Normally, I try to put these ideas into more practical terms..  we have two great quests in life.. to learn to be happy, and to learn to make good decisions.  That’s easy to explain.  Easy to teach.  And on that path, we learn of power and love.  We learn of passion and compassion.  Of the ebb and flow of the universe, the value of things, the ying and the yang, that which we are here to do.. to become better children of God, or the universe.. if that works better for you.  Nameste.

 

A side note:  Like the concept put forth in the egg, I believe we each live in our own universe, but unlike the egg, I believe we run into other souls… kind of like a venn diagram.. but I won’t go into that now.  Its enough for me that the egg opens people to the concepts of eternity and infinity.  Its bad from my point of view, because it teaches us we are alone with God.. I don’t believe that.  And most of all, it is bad because we could be seeing the birth of a new religion. 

 

 

Merry Christmass

A Merry Kinky Christmass my friends… because everything is better when it ends with some “ass”. Especially a red ass.

During the Holidays, I like to sit and watch those schmaltzy Christmas movies.  It puts me in a frame of mind that believes there is hope for the whole world.

We are supposed to be full of Christmas cheer now, right?  I want to share words of inspiration, but then I think.. Its a Christian Holiday.  What do Jews or Muslims think of this whole “Christ-Mass” thing?  And I think of the terror attacks that will be planned around mass gatherings.   And I think of the snarls of traffic with frantic people rushing to get a gift that may be returned, or thrown out.. and I wonder.. is Christmas really so different from any other day?  Perhaps it shouldn’t be.  In 2014, I wrote this on Thanksgiving:

I am thankful for beautiful skies, my inner guide, and the universe through which I offer myself as a conduit. I am thankful for my canvas, she with whom I practice serving those who serve. I am thankful for that which gives meaning to my life. I am thankful for those who have shared moments with me, letting me be part of their life, as I am part of theirs. ~ Xtac Quote, Thanksgiving 2014

So today is Christmas.  Some will spend it alone.  Some will tear open gifts and sit in piles of wrapping paper.  Some will be thankful its over.  Some will get in cars and make trips to family members they may or may not want to see.  Me, I will spend it with people that are important to me, and I will do nothing special, which will make it extra special.  My daughter and my mother will get together and bake a new cake recipe.  And my daughter will make memories that will make her cry when Grandma has passed on.  Life always ends.

We often go about our Christmas “to do” list like good soldiers following orders.  We often do these things with eyes closed, not sure why we do them. Let me tell you why.  Yes, Christmas is commercial, and Yes, Christmas is in large part about gifts.  It IS a time of gift giving.  So let’s think more about giving, shall we?  When you give, you can give of your money, or time, or talent.  Of the three, time is the most precious gift.

Sometimes we give because we can’t wait to see the smiles our gift will bring.  And sometimes we give for the joy we hope it will bring.  Sometimes we give for the warm, smug feeling that tells us what good people we are for giving.

There was a homeless gentleman I passed every day on the way to work, and I would pick up a carrot cake, or some other packaged food, so he could tell I had not messed with it, and hand it to him as I passed. Some days, I included a few dollars. I could easily have fallen into the trap of feeling smug about this.  Giving, if we do it for the wrong reasons, can be a bad thing.

If we look at what we have, and what others have, and what stuff we want to move from our pile to another’s, we are looking at gifts as a cold truth with a closed heart.  When you give, what you gave is no longer yours.  It belongs to someone else now.  You should have no expectations of control over the thing that is no longer yours. The truth is, most of us expect something in return for a gift.  We hope the gift brings joy, or finds a place in their home.  We hope for an equitable exchange, warm feelings in return for our generosity.  Often, we have expectations of an immediate return on our gift, even if we don’t consciously express it or think about it.

Ask yourself, why WOULD you give if your gift was just thrown away?  Why would you give if no appreciation was expressed?  Ah, now we get to the heart of Christmas!

Christmas and giving are NOT about the joy you create, or what happens with your gifts.  When you give, you have become a conduit for the light of the universe.  What you give, you receive back three fold.  Not from the person that you gave to, but from the boundless love that you have made yourself a conduit for.

When you are selfless, as any slave knows, you have tapped into something bigger than you or the person you have served.  You are a mystic, a shaman, a priest of the universe.  Not in some intangible way, but in a way that fills you with light and lightness.  Your heart is free, you are warmed with an irresistible urge to smile,  you like scrooge are happy beyond measure and you can’t explain it.  But you know it is real because you feel it.

You can’t bottle it, you can’t sell it, and you can’t give it to someone else.  When you experience being a conduit for love, this is your personal gift from somewhere beyond.  You can’t make people believe in it.  Nor can you make people experience it, even if they give.  A person who refuses to open their heart can give, and then sit unhappy that giving was a miserable experience.  No, you must open your heart to the experience, to feel love pouring through you.

So as you go to visit, as you sit with friends, as you watch gifts unwrapped, open your heart to a bigger picture.  This IS a time when the hope of the whole world rests in our hands.  It is a time when we can peel back the veil and see the what happens when we think beyond our own little lives.  We can FEEL the reality that can’t be shared.  We can feel the experience that is open to any who allow it.  It is a time when we can help others to see that there is more to life than collecting a pile of stuff.

We have only so much time in this life.  Every second is a gift.  We can not create for ourselves, one more second of time than we will have.  We own nothing.  Not even our bodies.  These too shall return to the earth.  We own only one thing, my friends.  Our decisions.  This Christmas, I encourage you to look at your decisions and make good ones, especially with your time.  Spend it with people who matter.  Give and hold nothing back.  Let yourself be free of your worries.   Be a conduit for all the good this world deserves, and if you should find yourself weeping, it will probably be for joy.  Joy for the smallest moments that are so huge.  Carpe Diem!   Merry Christmas!  Go be someone’s great day!

Core Values and Beliefs

ZEALOTRY!  –  This life I lead has religious overtones.  Use my blog widget to search my blog for the word zealot.  I am one for BDSM.  The word seems to keep coming up.  So excuse me if this bores you, but I have been thinking lately about what defines me, what my core values and beliefs are that have made it possible for me to be so blessed.

This blog started with a comment by my slave. – As she was fulfilling her gratitude ritual, one of her three things was “when crying turns to laughter”.  She is a wrangler, rides horses, and she had a little girl that was so scared she was crying and hiccuping.  She brought her horse up beside the girl, and by the end of the ride, the girl was laughing.  My reaction was too fold.  First, I was pleased.  She should be in service to the universe, finding her pleasure in these very kind of moments.  But there is also a danger when we do well and we know we have done so.  We must avoid pride.  Its an odd dance.  We must know that we have value, and hold that to our heart, but take away from it not pride which is poisonous, but the joy that we create with that value.  We must see not the value of our relations, but the value we bring to relations.  Like all things of value, its a complex, delicate dance.

So I find myself wanting to list my core values. Here is what I came up with:

  1. Equality  – Thou shall strive at first meeting, to neither take, nor give authority, treating all persons as an equal in authority to yourself, and will continue to do so until a shift in power is arrived at in a consensual manner.  Equality is not the highest form of exchange, equity is.  Equality is merely the starting point from which all human exchange should flow, and it should flow, to equity.
  2. Respect – Thou shall strive at first meeting to give utmost respect, as a sign of who you are, indicating that you understand equality, and the need to understand one another.  Often the distance between your beliefs may make respect difficult. It is not necessary to agree with a person, to respect their logic or core belief.  Remember that the degree of effort you put into giving respect, is a reflection of who you are. Respect earned is necessary to establish honesty, with which you may achieve trust, and trust is a perquisite to a higher state of exchange, an equitable one.  Respect given and earned, removes barriers to your potential exchanges.
  3. Consensual Power Exchange – Thou shall strive to find your place among others in the structures of authority that surround us. These structures exist for many reasons.  From police, to parents, from employers to politicians, from judges to generals, we are surrounded by people with certain authority.  If these structures align with your values, you will acknowledge and consent to accept authority or consent to give authority within them. You will peaceably resist all exchanges of authority that do not align with your values, or are forced upon you, or to which you will not consent. Thou shall be mindful that love and power exchanged can only exist together, with consent.  Where power is taken without consent, love is absent.  Dominance and submission is just a natural extension of the power systems around us and teaches us something of the world we would create with others.
  4. Honesty – Thou shall be honest both with yourself and others when negotiating an exchange.   Avoid persons who have demonstrated they can not be trusted as they may misuse your honesty.   Thou shall strive to avoid dishonesty created by pride.  Thou shall strive to avoid dishonesty created by false modesty. Thou shall strive to be honest about the value you bring to an exchange, without listening to either pride or false modesty.  Thou shall be  mindful that honesty does not require that you to respond to a demand for information, but trust does.  The building blocks of trust, are honesty.
  5. Uncommon currency – Thou shall be mindful of the currency you deal in, whether it be common like gold, silver, paper, goods, and services, or uncommon like support, love or feelings.   Thou shall place your highest value on all things which bring happiness into your life, treating this as the favored currency of your life.  Let that which makes you happy, be an important currency of your exchanges with others.  Thou shall be mindful of the value placed on each currency by both you and those you exchange with.  You shall be mindful that the value of currency changes, what is valued today, may not be the same at the next exchange.  Avoid persons who do not understand the value of uncommon currency.
  6. Equity of exchange – Thou shall strive to seek in all exchanges with others, an equitable exchange, negotiated in good faith, with all terms honestly disclosed.  Thou shall seek to make exchanges in which both parties feel the exchange was fair and ideally mutually beneficial.  When an exchange becomes inequitable, it should be renegotiated or terminated.  Any past inequities perceived to exist before renegotiation, should be forgiven.
  7. Avoid inequity –  Thou shall avoid inequity of exchange and people who practice it.  To knowingly take more than you  offer in exchange through deceit or force, is evil. Thou shall keep in mind that equity, is measured in many currency and often uncommon currency leads to those outside your exchange, to not understand the equity you agree to, which is to say: Only those in an exchange can say if it was equatable or not.  Thou shall only judge the equity of your own exchanges, unless called upon to mediate.
  8. Gratitude – Thou shall be grateful.  You can not add another minute to your life, nor take any possession with you when you die.  You will be grateful for every minute of life, and for the moments you created happiness for yourself and others.  Thou shall be mindful that gratitude given, like so many other things given, is actually a gift to yourself.
  9. Life’s greatest lesson is how to be happy – Thou shall strive to understand happiness, what it is, and how to get it.  This is the great struggle of your life and it has nothing to do with what anyone else does. Thou shall learn to make joy at every opportunity, and share it with others. Let your joy spring not simply from pride in what you do, but also from the happiness you create by what you do.  Be mindful that things, and others, can not make happiness for you.  Thou shall never allow yourself to be too busy, to stop and smell the roses.  That is to say, to stop and take time to be grateful for, and appreciate the small joys of life.
  10. Life’s second greatest lesson is how to make good decisions – Thou shall make a study of your decisions. Thou shall seek council from friends and enemies, and strive to learn from each mistake and success of all humanity. Thou shall put aside regret, and never forget that the one thing you own forever, are your decisions.  Learn to make good ones, regret no past mistake, and strive to make ever better ones.

You will notice these beliefs, or values apply to more than BDSM, and that is exactly what they are meant to do. This is not sexy, or exciting and you might find it boring, but I never stop thinking about the world I want, and the lessons I would use to craft my perfect slave, so I must think beyond BDSM, to values that apply more or less universally, and tie together my complex life, in all its facets.

These might as well be my ten commandments.  So I wrote them that way.  They form the foundation of my life, and the lessons I teach.  These core beliefs form the basis for nearly all that I do and they shape my decisions, and the lives that result from it.

Whatever road you choose, my friends, I wish you happiness.  Carpe Diem!

Do you “get it”?

Being happy is a hard thing to learn.  To find your happiness, you have to let go.  There is no trust, no faith, no complex dogma, no concept to embrace.

If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans ~ Sno Quote

When bad things happen, how can we still be happy?  How can we be happy with the pain, suffering, death, and evil all around us?  Doesn’t it seem crazy to be happy when we are faced with so much to make us sad?  Yes, yes it does.

Maybe you “get it” and maybe you don’t.  IF I explain how to “get it”, I am using words from my place of being, and these words are processed by your mind, to help you reach your place of being, when all you really just need to do is just “be it”.

 


If you watch this, tell me, do YOU “get it”? – It is not easy to be happy.  Even if you get close, you can still struggle.  Here is someone struggling to “get it”.  I come back to this video from time to time to find my center.

 


A worthy question.  If I “get it”, why do I write these words? –Good Question! (Thank you, my mind).   I have no emotional investment in their success.  Partly, these words are directed to my slave, my responsibility is to her.  Her happiness is a source of my happiness.  I would lead her spiritually, guide her to happiness, to a more complete union with that which we are all children of.  I would see her happy, and a being who helps others find their way, through service, wisdom, and just being.

So to answer my question. I write these words to remind myself what I teach.  I write these words to share.  I write these words in hope of a better world.  And I write these for my slave, who pleases me greatly.