The THREE slave responsibilities

A slave has three responsibilities.  These are not shocking and not so different from anyone else, but they are critical to establishing a foundation for the slave’s three areas of choice.


1) Ethics– A consensual slave will strive to make good decisions, guided by those they serve, but doing what is required by their personal ethics at all times.

We do not own any object of this earth.  Not even our bodies do we really own.  All will return to dust one day.  Even time is not ours to own. We can not add another minute of time to our lives.  All that we truly own, are our decisions.  Nothing therefore, is more important than the decisions we make.  What guides our most important decisions is our code of ethics.  What we believe above all else to be right behavior, right action, just action. It is therefore imperative that our personal ethics be our highest responsibility, before all else, even before the will of the Master whom a slave desires to serve.  The responsible slave practices good decision making, and ethics, with or without a Master.  This is the consensual slave’s first responsibility.


2) Property– A consensual slave will protect the property that is themselves, and the property of the Owner, as long as this protection is not in conflict with responsibility one.

Every property owner expects that when another uses their property, that it will be protected, and cared for, and returned in good shape.  So it is that every responsible slave will protect and care for the body, mind and health that is the property of the Master they serve, or the owner they will one day serve.  They will seek to do the same for the Master’s other assets.  And if that Master shows no regard for the damage they might cause the property, the responsible slave will protect that property even from the owner, until said owner returns to their proper appreciation for the property.  This is the consensual slave’s second responsibility.


3) Submission – A consensual slave will obey all commands of the Owner they serve and none other, as long as the orders* are not in conflict with responsibility one or two.

Slavery may be external and coerced or slavery may be internal and consensual.  We in BDSM recognize that love can only co-exist with power under the terms of consent and reject external slavery.  The un-owned consensual slave has no responsibility to submission but the owned consensual slave is completely responsible for their submission; forever mindful that protection and ethics are higher priorities.   The consensual slave that seeks the freedom that comes of submission, that comes of total trust, of the knowledge that your burdens are another’s, of the knowledge that the will of two people has truly become one; this slave must strive with all the trust they can give, to exchange all power to the Master they serve, placing their will into the control of that Master, with as little reservation and resistance as they can muster. This is the consensual slave’s third responsibility. 

*Orders may further be narrowed during TPE negotiation.


These are the THREE responsibilities of a slave.  They are the foundation on which a slave’s three areas of choice are built.  I am pleased with the final draft.


Related

The FOUR areas of TPE negotiation

If you were starting to think this is a nifty journal but I have nothing to lecture on or share, au contraire.


I have often heard folks in the BDSM community offer a simple explanation for the difference between a sub and a slave: A slave makes one choice, who they will serve. Well! When you put it that way it seems pretty simple.

The problem is, when two people enter into an intense relationship, things are NEVER that simple. If you knew my slave you’d understand! Don’t get me wrong, I own my properties body and mind. Her talent, intelligence, and time is a tool of my will. But there is much more to a person than a body and mind.

I actually count four areas of discussion when entering into a CNC (consensual non-consent) or TPE ( total power exchange).

1 – The body and mind

A TPE relation attempts to approximate what it would be like to be a sold slave whose body is complete commercial property. Actually.. a collaring ceremony can be conducted as a selling transaction, but I digress.

When negotiating ownership of the body, be aware that if the owner later discovers cutting and scarification and wants to try that on his or her slave, its their right. So negotiate up front hard limits. Hard limits are a necessary part of taking ownership. I personally feel if something wasn’t negotiated before taking ownership, there needs to be some leeway, but that’s a personal preference.

An owner should also have total access to the mind of his or her property. No personal boundaries should exist. I personally want the slave to set up a guardian, a part of the slave’s mind that records things that I might want to know, and reports daily, like playing back a recording.

2- Finances

The first was body and mind which is a simple, given understanding, of total slavery. Some might argue that finances automatically come with consensual slavery. Others not so much. A slave who turns over all their money and assets had better be damn sure they know what they are doing.

In a workshop a few years back a person asked how they should intervene. They had a friend in trouble.  Their friend of was a slave with a substantial amount of wealth and it was being recklessly spent and taken by their Mistress. Money. It’s not the mind or body of the slave but it is most certainly a means to self determination. When a Master controls the a slave’s access to money it influences almost everything they can do and say outside of the relationship. Controlling access to money is also a tool of abusers.

I don’t mean to imply that you shouldn’t discuss controlling your slave’s financial assets or that doing so makes you an abuser.  I am just pointing out when you are entering into those initial discussion of a consensual power exchange that finances are an area worthy of treating as a discussion separate from the body and mind. A second area if you will.

Here is something interesting to consider. A lifetime of financial gain is more easily lost than acquired.  Does your slave care more about turning over their body and mind, or more about a lifetime of financial progress?  Does finacial control build or destroy trust?  What does that mean?  Should an owner provide for the future care of a trusted slave in the event he or she releases his slave, or dies?    What does that mean financially? To what purpose should finances be controlled? Interesting stuff. Discuss it.

3 -Children

When children come into the negotiations, there will quite possibly be a significant other from the past who has a legal right to interfere in the children’s well being. This is not up for debate. The law is involved. This HAS to be an area of discussion.

Many parents treat their children like slaves. We choose who they can see, where they go, what they wear, what they eat, what they learn, what tasks they will do. Childhood is the last vestige of real slavery. During negotiations, a child should NOT be thought of as a possession of the slave and therefore by extension property of the property. Just because a parent who is a slave is transferring all decision making authority to the Master or Mistress, they are still a parent.

Being a parent often means putting your children first. Good stuff to consider when negotiating a M/s relation. ~ X Quote

4 – Religion and God

And that brings us to the fourth area.  In one collaring ceremony I attended, the Master took possession of the slave – body, mind, and soul. I cringed. I do not believe in taking possession of souls, but I do believe myself extremely qualified to lead my slave and I towards enlightenment. But that’s my person belief, and one my property entrusts into my care. I don’t know if the Master in the collaring ceremony gave as much thought as I would give to a phrase like that.

Maybe you are an atheist, or agnostic, Christian, spiritualist, wiccan, or are one with the force. My point is that often our passion and beliefs are tied together in strong ways. Being a Master or Mistress does not mean that you need to be the spiritual leader for your slave, or force being an atheist on them – though you could if consented to. A person’s soul is worthy of discussion. If you desire to direct the soul of another to the truth as you believe, this is the fourth and final area worthy of discussion.


I could go into great detail on each section, but that’s enough to chew on for now.  Man!  I’ve been doing this way too long. I have such strong feelings about the best way to do things, its hard not to feel I have all the answers – which makes it hard to be humble. which comes across as asshole if I am not careful.  Trying here.. Carpe Diem my friends.. Go be someones great day.

Related

Quotes by XTAC ( Ecstasy)

Last addition was in 2019, December 29th

What is quote worthy?

What makes a thing quote worthy? Like all quote worthy comments, its elegant simplicity belays the deeply profound thoughts that arise, the more you ruminate upon it. Or it is just wisdom so important, its a keeper.

Over the years I have written and spoken a lot so by shear volume I have to have said something useful a few times.  Every now and then when it happens that I think…Hey! That’s pretty good.. I write it down in my list of quotes.  Over the years, this list has gotten to be quite long, so you may not want to consume this whole thing in one bite.

That being said, two blogs ago when I listed my favorite quotes by others, I promised that I would share my own quotes list.  Now is that later I mentioned.  You may want to bookmark this page because I add to it all of the time and because once in a while, some of this stuff is an inspirational “pick me up”.  You can also find this again quickly by clicking on the “About” section at the top of any page, My Quotes are linked there.

Related:  Quotes by others


Xtac Quotes
Presented in the order they were created

I can not create a minute, even the minutes of my life belong to a higher force. The only thing I truly own, are my choices. ~Xtac Quote

I truly believe that the Ds lifestyle, if executed honorably, is a home for the heart like no other. If founded with honesty, and built with trust, and entered into with a sincere desire to serve other, each according to their sacred role, no nilla relationship can compare. ~Xtac Quote

Evil in this life is a self inflicted wound in the spiritual world” ~Xtac Quote

The strength I draw from, helps me to be supportive in a calm, reasoned, loving way, no matter how you pummel me with your needs or your pains. But that strength is a double edged sword. Just because I won’t abandon you, doesn’t mean I am weak, and it doesn’t that I will take you back if you leave. Never mistake my kindness for weakness. ~Xtac Quote

With my fist, I can only take the pleasures that are demanded or which I beat from you, and so become a slave myself. But when I take your neediness with an open hand and feed you the pleasure of your submission, I create a desire to return. This is how I become the Master. ~Xtac Quote

Explained: This is about internal slavery vs external slavery.  The Master who takes without consent becomes the slave. They are wrong, and they know it, and must forever live with the knowledge that their world is tenuously held together by force, anger and evil. They are a slave to that which is required to keep it together.  Now this is true throughout the full spectrum of consent.  At one end is the domestic abuser (external control).  At the other end is the mutually happy Ds couple (internalized control).  There is every possibility in between, but to become a Master, you must learn to internalize slavery; learn how to feed your slave on the pleasure of their own submission.

I have found, that almost every submissive has a secret key locked away in her heart and her mind, begging to be found. Any master can have her pleasures, but only a great Master can find the key, and when he does, she comes undone, but is forever more, held in the grip of the man that set her free. Given time, that Master is usually me. ~Xtac Quote

A true slave, in every fiber of their being, feels nothing without the ability to serve. Serving is happiness, and only a Master makes this possible. Serving a Master is our gift. Trusting the Master to use your service well, is your gift. ~Xtac Quote

A true slave does not give the gift of service, they give the gift of trust. ~Xtac Quote

In love, I am like a mirror. This is not a simple metaphor. It has taken me years to understand how to be a good lover. A mirror lives for interaction. When engaged, it is present, totally in the moment, and when left, does not pine or cling for the next interaction. No, a mirror is, completely content to just be, and like a mirror, when a lover comes to me, I am truth reflected, need reflected. I am all that you bring: desire, passion, compassion. I am there for, and completely with you; focused on and in that moment. There is much more, but put simply, to be a good lover, I must be a mirror. ~Xtac Quote

“Comfort the afflicted, afflict the comfortable. A creed for the responsible Sadist, if ever there was one. ~Xtac Quote (first sentence is part of a Finley Peter Dunne quote regarding newspapers)

I truly regret, there is not enough of me to go around. ~Xtac Quote

Judgement will not be passed upon you from my behavior, so stop trying to take responsibility from me. Own your own choices, prepare yourself for judgement, keep God in your way, and I’ll do the same. ~Xtac Quote

Submission is not weakness. It takes more strength to be submissive than Dominant. ~Xtac Quote

“It takes more strength to be a slave than a Master. You may disagree but it is the slave who demonstrates strength and courage with their commitment to an uncommon currency; the currency of trust, honesty, and love” ~Xtac Quote

It is strange to a Nilla, that in bondage, a slave finds freedom. But in keeping boundaries, these same people create a prison from which their hearts are never truly free. This is a sadness that pains and frustrates me. I wish they could see, what I see. ~Xtac Quote

Eternity and infinity hold all possibilities and in a state of all possibilities existing simultaneously, rationality can not function. ~Xtac Quote

A very small segment of the population understands that reality obeys the observer. That is fortunate. This knowledge was not meant for everyone. ~Xtac Quote

What everyone should do, is choose wisely, that which they focus their attention, passion, and energy upon. ~Xtac Quote

I refer to Love as a noun, but it only has real meaning as a verb ~Xtac Quote

We are all students of life. ~Xtac Quote

When pursuing the mysteries of life; seeking higher truths, remember that every real truth is a paradox. This is why, the smarter we get, the less we know. ~Xtac Quote

I must remember to be thankful you can interfere in my life. Free will enables us all to grow. Be careful how you use it, however. That sword cuts both ways. ~Xtac Quote

Great leaders (and Dominants) do not shy from conflict. They do however attempt to make the outcome of conflicts constructive, rather than destructive. ~Xtac Quote

When this is your orientation, your passion is the journey of a lifetime. We are all on different points in this journey, but we share the same road. ~Xtac Quote, speaking on bdsm

Doing the right thing, is always the right thing to do. ~Xtac Quote

What is right, is always right in front of me, if I listen. ~Xtac Quote

Truth is personal. People rarely share the same truths. This is because each of us lives in our own world. ~Xtac Quote

I find that when my choices are not aligned with my alliances, it often confuses both my friends and enemies and that is OK. Owning a decision made upon independent and original thought is never going to be easy. ~Xtac Quote

When you approach each decision upon its own merits, this results in an apparent inconsistency and that is as it should be, for real truth often seems counter intuitive. ~Xtac Quote

Figure out how your audience needs to hear your message and it will be heard. HOW you say something is nearly as important as what you say. ~Xtac Quote

Hate only hurts the one that holds it. ~Xtac Quote

The only titles of value are those acquired thru recognition by others. One claims that title by exercising that recognition, not asserting it. ~Xtac Quote

When people make decisions about what is right thought and right behavior, and construct a framework for enforcing what they believe, zealots are born. This is the cauldron from which many a poisonous religious and governmental brew is born. ~Xtac Quote

The truth is, Love and Empathy guide us to what is right, not people. The more we deviate from this truth, and the more complicated our explanation, the more likely we have let passion, blind compassion. ~Xtac Quote

It is fair and actually the most honest thought you can have, to acknowledge that every encounter between two people seeks to an exchange of some sort that is, if not equitable, then advantageous. ~xtac quote

Ethics is a way of assessing if claims of an inequitable exchange have merit, and the degree of outrage and action that should result. Morality however is bullshit. ~ Xtac Quote

Cheaters ALWAYS prosper, until they get greedy, THEN you catch them at it. ~ Xtac Quote

What people do reveals what they really think and feel. Even if we do not ignore the words and do not observe actions consciously, we still know this instinctively. This is why trust takes so long. ~Xtac Quote

Some people will say anything, its what they will do that is limited ~ Xtac Quote

Life is my spiritual path, but BDSM is how I share it. In this life, I serve by leading those who serve. I see the ying and the yang through out life and in BDSM, I can express it with passion and compassion, two sides of the same, each of us in our sacred role. ~ Xtac Quote

Many people will offer advice on what you should believe or do. Politely but firmly reject any advice you have carefully considered before. But if the advice is new, be prepared to reevaluate your thinking. Don’t allow appearing to have been wrong, to get in the way of actually being right. ~ Xtac Quote

Remember this-EVERY accusation of consent violation has a predator and a victim..every one. The real question is, who is the predator and who is the victim? ~ Xtac Quote

I am thankful for beautiful skies, my inner guide, and the universe through which I offer myself as a conduit. I am thankful for my canvas, she with whom I practice serving those who serve. I am thankful for that which gives meaning to my life.  I am thankful for those who have shared moments with me, letting me be part of their life.   As I become part of their life so too they have become part of mine.  ~ Xtac Quote, Thanksgiving 2014

Place your head before of your heart, before you place your heart before your head. Respect is not earned, its a reflection of your own values, but trust, that is earned. Once earned though, you must follow your heart. ~ Xtac Quote

Argue to the intelligence of your point not to people. If you find yourself in a cage with monkeys, what would the point be to trying to convince them to stop throwing shit? ~ Xtac Quote

I firmly believe that some sacred cows were meant to be made into hamburger before consumption. ~ Xtac Quote

You must understand that some beliefs are at war with each other. ~ Xtac Quote

BDSM is what we make of it. As we travel on this journey together, we all find what it means for us personally, what works for us, what makes us personally come alive. Where it gets interesting, is when we try to explain to others what we think and why its worth sharing. Then it gets very interesting indeed. ~ Xtac Quote

It might be said that the Utopian ideal of universal equality is a path that leads to anarchy. It is only through equality AND consent that we can happily enter into a larger group to find our place in the natural structures of power that we create together. ~ Xtac Quote

The most important part of giving, is the taking. ~ Xtac Quote

It can be terribly frustrating to have something of value to say and no one will listen. This then is the truth of giving and taking. Taking is the most important part of giving. ~ Xtac Quote

When we understand that taking is the most important part of giving, suddenly we see why a Master or Owner is important to a slave. The owner is what gives meaning to the deep and abiding need to serve. ~ Xtac Quote

If you don’t think ideas are dangerous, make a list of words ending in “ism”. Every “ism” has followers willing to bitterly fight and possibly die over words. ~ Xtac Quote

Our value is determined by what we bring to a relationship, not the relationship itself. ~ Xtac Quote

Some argue that submission does not take strength. It does. Dominance does not require strength. It requires the gentle patience to apply irresistible force to the strength of that submission, until it bends comfortably, happily, to your will. ~Xtac Quote

Hatred is a self inflicted sickness of the body and mind. If you hold hate it will grow stronger. The more you embrace it, the weaker you become. Like all sicknesses, if it is not beaten, hatred will ultimately consume its host. ~Xtac Quote

When I say stype, I am saying I know that you identify as a submissive or a slave and fit into what we all recognize as one of those labels but that I am not judging. I am removing the choice of submissive or slave so that I can have a dialog in which we better understand you without the label, how your level of submission and obedience guides your self-identity. ~Xtac Quote

What is the value of a word if that word has no value until the person using it personally defines it? Welcome to the complex world of subs and slaves. ~Xtac Quote

If a word has no meaning until the person using it personally defines it, then why even have that word in the first place? What is the value of a word that has no value? None. Words such as slave, consensual slave and submissive need definitions ~Xtac Quote

You must ever be mindful to manage the mind, not the body of the slave. ~Xtac Quote

Pick your audience. Words have cultural and emotional associations in addition to their literal meanings and connotations. Or just say fuck it, today I don’t care if the monkeys are going to fling shit ~ Xtac Quote

Carl Jung says that “where power predominates, there love is lacking.” I say: “Power without consent promotes evil, but power with consent promotes love.” ~ Xtac Quote

The highest form of society is not based on gender or equality, but on consent. ONLY when our right to consent is not suppressed, can love and power coexist within the natural systems of power all around us. ~ Xtac Quote

Only through consent can we create the opportunity to experience unbridled love and power together. ~ Xtac Quote

I am instantly suspicious of any person that seeks real power, power that cannot be contested, because I believe their personal motivations are far from altruistic ~ Xtac quote

Power exercised without consent begets evil ~ Xtac Quote

To fight evil, we must become the evil we fight. To not fight is to have the good we possess extinguished. What choice then is left to us? ~ Xtac Quote

Plans are just a framework on which life happens. Might as well enjoy the ride. ~ Xtac Quote

Adults don’t make children, children make adults ~ Xtac Quote

I do not fear death, only the pain required to pass through it. I welcome death, the moment when I can again be in the light. ~ Xtac Quote

Much in the way that a slave finds greater freedom in their chains, a thought we understand and agree upon, it too can be said that a much needed cathartic release may require the quiet aftermath of being broken, when all struggles surrender to peaceful acceptance. ~ Xtac Quote

The pleasure of slavery can not exist without consent but true slavery can not exist with consent. It would seem a paradox impossible to resolve, but it is not. ~ Xtac Quote

Serendipity happens. I often wonder why the people I come into contact with, were presented in that time and place. How will this weave into the fabric that will become the lessons of this life? ~ Xtac Quote

You can not teach orientation ~ Xtac Quote

Just remember that what you seek you will not find, but in the path of your happiness, when you are loving life the most, what you were seeking will find you. ~ Xtac Quote

Respect for diversity is good, its even better as respect for diversity of thought. ~ X Quote

Being sensitive does not entitle you to hate on the insensitive. ~ Xtac Quote

Opportunity is nothing without the will and ability to capitalize on it, and visa-versa. ~ Xtac Quote

When reaching for goals, gauge your progress by each success-no matter how small- AND each setback.  Each success tells us that if we did it once, we can do it again.  Each setback provides knowledge that puts us closer to our next success. The only real failure, is to give up. ~ Xtac Quote

Believe, or do not believe, there is no middle ground ~ Xtac Quote

The complexity of a slave’s mind or any mind for that matter, holds the fascination of this Master.. incessantly. ~ Xtac Quote

The cure for radical points of view is almost always for you to do the very thing thing you are trying to stop. ~ Xtac Quote

In every Ds relation there are three participants.. the Dominant, the submissive, and the relation. All three have needs. ~ Xtac Quote, from ideas put forth in a munch discussion.

Being a parent often means putting your children first. Good stuff to consider when negotiating a M/s relation. ~ Xtac Quote

All things in their time.. fast may win the race, but slow and steady wins it all. ~ Xtac Quote

The price of admission into my world is, at the very least, to grasp the concepts of my reality. ~ Xtac Quote

This body has been good to me but it is others who will miss it when its gone, not me. ~ Xtac Quote

What we DO in BDSM might not be for everyone, but what we know is. ~ Xtac Quote

It is by knowing that the laugh of a child, like the eclipse, is a once in a lifetime event never to be repeated in quite the same way.. that we learn to embrace each moment with equal joy and awe at the wonders large and small around us. ~ Xtac Quote after 8/21/17 eclipse

You need to understand that to love someone is to bring your happiness to them so that joy is multiplied. If you NEED someone else to find happiness, then you are sucking at them, pull all of your happiness from them like a leech, and this is destructive. ~ Xtac Quote (Added at the suggestion of slave Kit)

What you would call “good” or “bad” is often simply the objectification or your own feelings about that thing. ~Xtac Quote

You should only feel “guilty or sorry” if you consciously do something wrong. The alternative is being conscious and doing right.  Avoid at all costs simply reacting while suppressing any real thought, leaving yourself feeling conflicted. That is the path to an unhappy life.  ~ Xtac Quote

To do “wrong” is to break your person code of ethics in the pursuit of your desires.  To do “right” is to pursue your pleasure within the boundaries of your personal ethics.  The world has been and always will be in search of a universal set of ethics. ~ Xtac Quote

…to be worthy of a title like Master, you must also have a certain degree of humility, a willingness to earn recognition. ~ Xtac Quote, as recorded by Master B.

Men want a good girl who is only naughty for them, and Women want a bad boy who is always nice to them. ~ Xtac Quote -that is true more often than not..

I keep my pride in check with this mantra…”If its the truth, it ain’t bragging”. ~ Xtac Quote

It may seem weird, but you can take pride, in the fact you swallowed your pride, to be on the right side of a thing. ~ Xtac Quote

 


Think Clinton, or clitoris, whatever works ~Xtac Quote

  • Note: if we are friends, ask what this means, but be prepared. The explanation takes a few paragraphs. The short version is this: “Hold your head high, try to keep your dignity and sense of humor, no matter how bad it gets.”

Quotes ( Others )

Last addition was in 2017, January 14th.

What is quote worthy?

What makes a thing quote worthy? Like all quote worthy comments, its elegant simplicity belays the deeply profound thoughts that arise, the more you ruminate upon it. Or it is just wisdom so important, its a keeper.

I have a collection of quotes and thought it high time I put some into this blog. As much as I like to talk about my own brilliance, or to hear my slave reinforce this insanity, I think I’ll temper myself a tad by starting with some favorite quotes by others.

I will continue to add to this list over time so you may want to check back from time to time. Tomorrow we’ll get to my quotes.. Today, let’s start with a favorite, from the movie, Don Juan DeMarco



An “X” favorite:

There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio.

  • What is sacred?
  • Of what is the spirit made?
  • What is worth living for,
  • and what is worth dying for?

The answer to each is the same,
only love – Don Juan DeMarco



Quote worthy (other)

Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. ~ Quote, Dalai Lama

If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans ~ Sno Quote

For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible. – Stuart Chase

Be kind whenever possible.
It is always possible.
~ Quote, Dalai Lama

the idea of love being limited and a commodity to be fiercely guarded is a concept that I don’t understand. ~ Slave_Shylah

Nothing is so strong as gentleness and nothing is as gentle as real strength Penelope Cruz – a character in the TV show Criminal Minds

Only the foolish learn from experience, the wise learn from the experience of others. – Romanian proverb

The best teacher for people who won’t listen to good advice is experience – Quote, author unknown

When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new. ~ Quote, Dalai Lama

She who cannot howl will not find her pack. – Quote, author unknown

Getting under a man is no way to get over a man – Quote, author unknown

We are always free to choose. We are not however, free to choose the results of our choosing. ~ Quote, author unknown

I don’t compromise with my slave, I compromise with reality. ~ Quote – Raven Kaldera, speaking about being flexible as a Master

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~ Quote, Herm Albright

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet. ~ Quote, Mahatma Gandhi

I’d rather learn to dance in the rain, than worry if I have an umbrella for the rest of my vlife. ~ Quote, Nikki Rowe

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts  ~ Recorded by Plutarch (46 – 120 A.D.) in Moralia, “On Talkativeness”

( Beware the nasty drunk, when they are sober ~ Xtac Quote )

Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is just an option. – Quote, author unknown

  • ( x-minions take note-I love to speak with you and play with you-but my first priority is to my slave, those I protect, and those I mentor. Always place your priories with those who can give you a full measure of attention)

Lincoln quote, with humor

It is better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt – President Lincoln

I use that quote all the time, and have for years attributed it to President Lincoln. I know better than to ramble. Researchers have now concluded he was quoting someone else, but I think I’ll stay with Lincoln. As a self educated man, who was quite folksy, and definitely did say it, the quote really fits the man.

Researchers think he was quoting Samuel Clemen’s original line from an article in the Saint Lewis Examiner circa. 1858-59 were in Clemens was paraphrasing from the bible: “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” (Prov.17:28) (NIV): Its not so different from law four of the 48 laws of power: Always Say Less than Necessary… oops just broke that one again.

Radical thoughts and epiphanies

I have some fairly radical thoughts.  Some even lead to an epiphany once in a while.  For your consideration, here are a few of my radical thoughts:

Children and wives should take the maiden name –  This is an idea from ancient Egypt and when you think about it, this makes perfect sense.  You always know the mother but you may not know the father.  If you really want the genetics of a line to be firmly tied to a last name, use the mother’s name.  When you trace your heritage.. why do we follow the men’s names backwards in time?  Wouldn’t it make more sense to follow the women?  When women take the man’s last name, tracking the genome hand off is not guaranteed.

Gay marriage should not be legalized. –  I think government has no place in approving a union sanctified by a religion.  That is to say, I don’t think the government has a place approving heterosexual marriage either.  The role of governments should be to approve contracts of joint property, so that if the relation ends, disputes can be resolved.  Government shouldn’t care about WHO owns property together.. for any reason.. age, sex, religion, orientation, whatever.  If I want my grandson to jointly own property, it shouldn’t matter.  So it certainly shouldn’t matter with a domestic partner.

Men should wear engagement rings. – When a woman is “off the market” she wears an engagement ring.  Why the hell aren’t the men off the market too?  Seems like a pretty archaic and stupid custom to me.

Blogs are like news channels –  Modern day news is more editorial content than news.  We tend to listen to the news channel that bashes the people we don’t like.  Its what I would call an echo chamber.  You only hear your own thoughts.  Blogs can be a bit like that.  You only read the blogs you like, because they echo your thoughts.

Fetlife is like politics – In politics, we put people with a left wing agenda in a room with people that have a right wind agenda, and then the fur flys!   Like politics, Fetlife sets up groups that endlessly discuss who has the right ideas and who does not. It can almost be as much fun as politics.

Ethics makes sense, morals are invasive – It makes perfect sense that in every human interaction we should seek an equitable exchange.  We should not cheat or lie, or seek to take more than we agree to in an exchange. Morals however are all about someone invading your life and telling you what behaviors they approve of, when they aren’t even invited into your life.  Fuck that shit.

Gender is attracted to biology –  I can get behind a science that says we pick mates based on biologic traits we instinctively desire to pass on to our linage. It seems to me however that of the two genders, men tend to be more shallow.  When we look at the biology of a suitable mate, we men all too often look at beauty, and physical perfection for a mate.  Women however often surprise me.  I may be way off base here, but it seems to be that women tend to look at other biological markers that have deeper significance, than men. Is that a fair observation?  Ask a man or woman in private and you might get the real answer.  Certainly its a generalization which makes that thought suspect from the start.

Democracies are doomed because of BDSM orientation – We all live in spheres of power.. with parents, and employers, and government.  We all, nilla’s included, have a general preference. We generally desire to live our lives in one of two basic ways:  as a child or as an adult.  If we want everything in our life to be taken care of for us, and are willing to give up some of our personal power for that care, we are on the left side of the political fence.  Communism promises that no one will be without a job, or a home, or food, or medical care. This mentality is also consistent with submission and living within child like responsibilities.  And if we want no one to interfere in our lives, if we want total responsibility for our lives and are willing to accept the consequences of that condition, we are on the right side of the fence.  This is the mentality of the ultra right capitalist.  This mentality is also consistent with Dominant and living with adult like responsibilities. Because one each side is diametrically opposed to the other, and yet each wants government to be shaped to their needs, we will forever be at each others throats on this.  It has been this way forever, and will forever be this way.  From the days mankind formed the first primitive cultures, when the very first villages formed, these two groups existed.. and always will exist.

I have lots more.. but that’s enough for now.

No Excuses

I say this all the time but it bears repeating.. its the little things that are such a huge part of my satisfaction with my Master slave relation.

A gentleman hit my car recently, then proceeded to direct a lot of hostility towards me.  For me, this was an unwillingness to accept responsibility, a desire to blame someone or something else.

Serendipity happens. I often wonder why the people I come into contact with, were presented in that time and place. How will this weave into the fabric that will become the lessons of this life? ~ X Quote

When you screw up, sometimes you have to fall on your sword.  In other words, you have to be willing to accept your failure, and any pain and suffering that comes with owning up to it.  I become very unhappy with persons who present excuses and likewise, I am very forgiving for a person who shows they can own their actions.

So, X, you are probably wondering: Where are you going with this meandering? eh?

Well first, I could be upset about this mess my car is in.  It will be a major inconvenience, and a reduction in resale value and certainly cost me time and money I don’t want to spend on it.. but I would rather be happy.. so I choose to be.  Instead I am loving the simple interactions with my slave. Tonight, a simple thing is pleasing me immensely, especially after my run in with the afore mentioned hostility. Where we focus, plays a huge role in our happiness.

In public, my slave is very good with her protocols.  One protocol requires that as soon as I finish a plate of food, she take the plate away and put it under hers.   If you sit at a table with me, you will find I am always taking table real estate.. pushing salt, pepper and napkin holders back, to clear a larger area for myself.  It is just one more of my little Domination quirks.  And of course my protocols support that.  So tonight, after finishing a meal at home, a plate was not removed.  It was turkey tetrazzini by the way.. I do love that meal.  I would recommend you try the Stoffers brand and if you like it, then try a scratch made version.

So I asked Izrina:  Do you think that the protocols you do in public, you should also do at home?   She had finished sooner and now looked up from a suduko puzzle she was working on.  She looked around, trying to figure out what she had missed.  It took her only a second to realize where I was headed with this.  The empty plate quickly vanished.

No excuses made, just a quick acceptance of the way we are.  No anger at herself, that might be redirected at me.  Just Master and slave, doing their thing.  I love that she attends to me, and is fast to respond to my desires. Was I angry that a protocol had to be reminded?  Of course not.  I was enough that she sheeplishly, and submissively corrected the oversight.  She fell on her sword, and hoped for the best outcome.. and got it.

And she?  Does she love this?  Hmmm.  Yes.  It makes family uncomfortable when I order her, use her, but her eyes light up, and she fairly purrs afterward, when its time to curl up at Master’s feet.  Equity of exchange.  The trust she offers is exactly the right thing to exchange for my gift of Domination.  I wonder sometimes what jems I could offer to help others find this happiness?

Is it just finding the right person, or is it a philosophy and way of life that facilitates this, or maybe its a little of both?  Both I think.  Opportunity is nothing without the will and ability to capitalize, and visa-versa.   I wish more people could have this, feel this.   I understand that a TPE or CNC life is not for everyone, but it certainly is the key to MY happiness.. and to that of my slave.  Life is truly good my friends, Carpe Diem!

0Oooooo! Shiny!

Never dangle shiny things in front of a squirrel, and never dangle a squirrel in front of a dog..~ And you can quote me!   Hmmmm but maybe together they might be OK? right?  Formula probably calls for an excess of alcohol though, just saying.

I had to do it.  A little bit of playing around with codes and Voila!

A shiny new Inde X!

And why stop at just an Alpha list, when the squirrel.. I mean code.. was just sitting there?  Check out the cool new inde x’s up above   (They are hidden between “Home” & “About”). 

 

Ending on a high note

First, I must mention that my slave asked me to not mention a certain something from this weekend, and she reads my blog, so naturally I am starting off by hinting that I might mention it, just to torture her.  Its the WEM in me.

This weekend is an odd one.  In most respects its normal, but a member of the community who has been battling cancer is not expected to make it much longer. Maybe a day or two more.  The reality of that life, and the ones around it are so different from that of my slave and I.  We share our worlds, but we do not live in other peoples worlds.  

To cap off this weekend, I took Izrina out on the motorcycle, which is on road-off road. We stopped at a subway, picked up a sandwich and drinks, and headed back onto a trail.  I had never gone this way before, so out of caution, when we came to gullies and such, I had her get off before I gunned the bike through or over an obstacle.  On the way back, knowing already what I was facing, there was much less of that.  Our objective was to reach a park tower, set on the edge of a vast swamp, a sea of greenery growing up around channels of fresh water running through, and every kind of wild life you might expect in such a rural setting.

As strange as this may sound, I am happy for Lenny, the Master battling cancer, because I know that as much as he is loved here, the love that awaits him is so much greater.  I am equally sorry for his slave, who he will leave behind.  Even if she believes that he is in a better place, there will be a void where his voice used to be, and his touch, and his command.  It is OK, to be sorry for ourselves when someone passes to the next life.  We who are left behind must learn to live without the comfort of those simple things we have come to cherish.

The trails were marked blue and green and by sticking to the blue, we were able to find the tower.  Its old, and rotted in some places, while in other places, new wood reinforcement is quite obvious.  It sits at the top of large bank, rising from a sandy opening in the channels, and breaks out of the trees that ring the miles and miles of habitat.  We climbed to the top, and there among the upper branches of nearby trees, the view is quite beautiful.  To my surprise, we were not alone.

A number of leather family members have posted their love in an outpouring on Fetlife.  I feel like I should be doing something.  I don’t want to sit by a man’s bed, waiting for his death, but neither do I want to do nothing.  I joined others in commenting on Fetlife, but it seems so hollow.  I am sure he has things he still wants to do here, in this life, with his slave.  Its hard sometimes to understand why we can’t have more time in this life.

A mother and her daughter had kayaked in to the beach from the channels, something I too enjoy.  They were standing on the sand just below, and were fishing in this secluded spot.  Izrina perched up on a railing and began to unpack her sandwich to eat.  I asked her to move from the center of the board, since I didn’t trust it. I was worried for my property’s safety.  The sandwich was gone is short order and a pair of cookies was next.  I offered mine to the mother and daughter but they assured me they had snacks.

I gave Lenny’s slave my cell phone number and urged her to call me, or write me if there was anything she needed to say.   I know that she will shortly have a burden that can be lightened only by working through it.  Sometimes just having someone to listen, or hold you and say nothing, is all you need.

We finished our trip into the woods, and drove home, my slave hugging me fiercely, as if she hoped the ride might never end.  Somewhere tonight there is another slave with the same need. 

 

 

Rejoice my special people!

.             Cross posted from Fetlife  (must have an account to open)

As we all know, we are all special.

Do you get tired of pointing this out? Then rejoice all ye special people. X has the answer! Here is your very own copy and paste reply for every forum. It doesn’t matter what the subject is or what the author says. You will never have to put together a thoughtful response ever again. Just copy and paste this special blog & forum reply form, change xyz, and Voila! You are done! There is even barbwire built in, to show just how kinky and sharp you really are! Feel free. There is no copyright. I just care deeply and worry that you can express yourself!

 

The copy & paste -Blog & Forum reply form!

___..)/..________..)/..________..)/..________..)/.._____
¯¯¯””/(”¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯””/(”¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯””/(”¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯””/(”¯¯¯¯¯¯

That is YOUR way of saying, doing, thinking about xyz but everyone is different, and there are many different ways to look at these things, and different people will say different things, and use different terms and different meanings for these terms.

I am not criticizing you directly, but I had to indirectly protect all the different people from your tyranny because that is just the kind of special different I am and it only hints at my brilliance, knowledge, experience, and caring.

Please make sure that you read every one of my different words of the nothing I have added to this conversation, because its so very different from the words any one else will write, including the author, which I don’t mean to insult. It’s just that I’m so different, like everyone else.