White is the color of darkness

It snowed.. and snowed.. and snowed.. We had white out.  For a while we were getting three inches an hour.  I’m glad for Izrina’s safety, she got to the ranch after picking up some clothes and then slept there last night.  I really hate when this happens.

In the morning, I  got to work myself, but it was at just a little over half my my normal speed..  I am surprised they didn’t close the local interstates..  They were pretty slippery.  I had the whole building to myself… no one else showed up for work…. hmm,  until quite late when some of the evening crew showed up.

I don’t like when she stays at the ranch…I hate it.. but I allow it.  I hate the idea of her driving in terrible weather even more.   This is the second time this year that white powder has darkened my life by stealing my slave…. Freakin snow!

Have I mentioned in an earlier blog, that home is divided into five sections… one for each day of the week.  She is to pickup, clean, and dust each section on its appointed day.. and then I inspect it afterward.  That way it never gets too far behind.  I like schedules and plans.  Today was the kitchen area.  So when she got home.. finally….  I was torn between keeping to the schedule, and making up for the time I lost to the snow.. but I did the right thing..

Have you ever been on an exercise program or diet and one day you break it… just for that one day?.. and then the second day you are like  I’ll restart tomorrow?   Sometimes you put things off so long its hard to start again.  The thing is, you absolutely must stick to these things or procrastination takes over..  So when I said I did the right thing, what I meant was that even though I really really wanted to make up for time the snow stole from me, I shoved that in a box, let her finish her tasks, and then did my inspection.  If I didn’t and the schedule started to lapse, I would have no one but myself to blame.   Freakin snow!

The rest of the evening was lovely.. I am thinking ahead now to Valentines day.. The girl does love her chocolate.. Oh.. and then I shoveled some more before bed… Freakin snow!

Service, or submission? Which comes first, slave?

Michael Makai, famously put forth the notion of the “Warrior Princess” as a slave category.   It was warmly received by slaves who previously felt no one quite understood them.  I remember sitting and speaking with a slave one evening who laughed at the notion.  She fairly spit at the thought.  She didn’t warmly receive his ideas at all.

Why start with this?  Why now?  It starts with the fact that I have long pushed Izrina to do more self evaluation, to dig deeper into her own feelings and communicate these things I need to know, to be a better Master.  I need to understand my slaves motivations, before I can motivate her.

You must ever be mindful to manage the mind, not the body of the slave. ~Xtac Quote

She said to me last night, that she thought perhaps she loved service, more than submission.  She said it so very meekly, knowing my love for her submission, and the power I feel in that exchange.  I sensed that she didn’t want to trample on that, so she approached with caution, less I object, or worse.

Of course inside, I did not receive this thought warmly at all.  My main kink is power exchange.  But a Master does not jump to panic or negatively.  We use patience, love, and the projection of focus on the reality we wish to create.  So I did.

My first thought was that Izrina is impressionable.  It’s like seeing a commercial that says.. Do you wake up tired in the morning, didn’t get enough rest?  And you say.. OH my God!  I have this disease.. what ever it is.. write this down, I need this drug.

That is not to say she is weak.  But she receives the focus people hand her and runs with it.  What do I mean by that?  If she was reading Michael’s work, I would expect her to come back saying she could see some warrior princess in her.  She did mention a recent slave forum discussing something along theses lines.


 

So my new question, my new focus becomes.. Is service more important than submission, for her personally?  What does that mean for our dynamic?  Too soon to say.  We’ve only just begun to unravel this one.  She is just now beginning to really let me in to her most inner self. I too must tread lightly.  We are making progress.  Its important for me to nurture her communication.

I know that may seem odd, but it has been a very long and slow process.  She is a very private person, easily prone to embarrassment.   I love the canvas I am giving a new life to.  For me, at this point in our dynamic, she is like a flower ready to bloom..Each day, she opens a little more, and each change is beautiful.

I can tell you one thing I know about this new subject.  I am who I am.  It doesn’t matter what this means on at least one level.  I will have my way.  I will be a Master, even if I have to push through this in a slow, steady, unrelenting pace.  I have seen the destruction that can occur in a Master-slave relation when there is too much “nurturing”.  I’ll be damned it I’ll let that happen here.  My sacred role will not change.. and therefore, that which feeds me must exist.

I don’t think we are talking about the “broken slave syndrome” here.  If you are not familiar with this, it’s fairly common for a Dominant or Master to find a shy, retiring, submissive or slave and begin to fill them with confidence.  The Dominant is like a therapist, or councilor, “fixing” what is broken, making them happier, healthier, more alive..  What happens next is sad.  Often these Dominants are then cast aside.  I know a few Dominants who have sworn off all “broken” slaves because of this pattern.  But that’s all negative stuff. It can’t happen here.  As Sno would say about something negative.. “erase..erase.. erase..”

Serendipity my friends.. How odd is it then, that a blog I chose to read today, not knowing the subject matter in advance, was very similar.  The title was “What makes me different, I guess” by Sir’s nijntje .  The subject matter was about being a Dominant with everyone but her Sir.  Life brings together odd things at odd times and I always wonder why.  Why now.. Why this person.. what potential has the universe created this time and what will I make of it?

Serendipity happens. I often wonder why the people I come into contact with, were presented in that time and place. How will this weave into the fabric that will become the lessons of this life? ~ X Quote

Now I have more to ponder…I wonder.. do strong persons, who submit to one person and one person only, submit to only to one person for the pleasure of service? Or is it more complicated?, Perhaps a need to find a comfortable place in the hierarchies of power that surround us?  Why one person?  Does it matter if submission is a means to service?  How does that change the dynamic, and the motivations?

Makai had this to say on the subject: A typical submissive lives to serve. She likely grew up believing that service to the people you care for is how you express your love for them. It had little or nothing to do with relationship dynamics, sex, kink, or anything anywhere near that complicated. It is a simple, sweet principle of love: If you care for someone, you do nice things for that person. It makes you feel better, it makes him feel better, and it makes the world – or at least your little corner of it – a better place for a time.” ― Michael Makai, The Warrior Princess Submissive

There is a kernel of truth in there.  Perhaps a submissive or slave who desires to serve one person only, does so because this is their highest truth.  To express love, they MUST do so through service.  It makes sense.  A true Dominant can understand this, because in a very real sense, we serve those who serve us.  We do this with constant love, attention, and patience.  We do this with guidance, nurturing, and care.  WE who are good Masters in a very real sense, serve only one, our slaves.

There are many slaves who are personally strong. If you have been around a really good alpha slave, one who trains other slaves, you know this is true.  I think the best example though is myself.  As a manager, I enjoy my interactions with my direct reports, my employees, but I am equally good in supporting the person I report to.

In a very real sense I am both Dominant in one direction, and submissive in another, yet I have no issue with this.  I have no craving for more power, no desire to climb the corporate ladder so to speak.  I am quite comfortable with this role in my life.  In most things, I bristle when I must submit to authority, but because the person I report to respects and appreciates my competence, and trusts me to handle what I am delegated without micromanaging me, I am OK with this position.

Hmmm I am definitely not of a slave mentality… taking this further, using myself as a guide, does that mean that persons who serve only one are submissive rather than slave?  Bah!  Stupid idea.. forget I said it.

I have a disadvantage in reading Izrina.  A HUGE disadvantage.  Master’s take note… When she is with me, she is always submissive to my authority.  I can’t see how she interacts with her co-workers and bosses.  I wish I could be a fly on the wall and observe that.

That is my disadvantage, and really, its a disadvantage all Master’s share. I am curious how she is with other people when I am not around.  I know that I can’t assume she is as meek with them, as she is with me.  It’s definitely an area to ponder, and to investigate as best as can be, from discussions about her day… Her day.. hmmmm

Her day.. a side note.  You know I think that what we give focus to is important.  When I first started applying my creative touches to she who is my canvas, and we would discuss her day, it usually started with a rant about her bosses and sometimes her co-workers.  That bothered me because her main focus, what she brought back from the day, was anger and frustration.  She may not have realized this before, but she will when she reads this:  Her focus has been a lot less angry.  Oh! She still gets pissed off by the same stupid jerks, but its not the first thing she runs to anymore about her day.. and that is a good thing.  It means she is finding her appreciations, discarding her frustrations, taking responsibility for happiness, and yes – generally less angry after work.. all progress that I am pleased to see and report.  This is a direct result of my managing her mind, not her body.  I pleased with the results.  She is a generally happier person for it.

Much of the wisdom I share is from years of discussion and life.  This is a new question I have handed to my muse.. the part that has all the answers.  It’s odd.  I don’t know if the muse is part of me, or a connection to something much bigger, but the muse always has answers..  LOL!  my muse is scolding me.. of course its something bigger..  It’s hard to explain this inner guide.. The harder I try to put it to words, the less sense it makes…Maybe this works better for you..

Doing the right thing, is always the right thing to do. ~Xtac Quote

What is right, is always right in front of me, if I listen. ~Xtac Quote

Hope there was some things of value in there for you as a Master or a slave..  things that help you craft a better relation.  Or.. if that is not your purpose in reading, a better life. Carpe Diem my friends.. Go be someone’s great day..

The one blog you should read…

If you never read another blog….read this one…

It’s the day after the North East Power Exchange competition and now that it’s over, I can finally talk about the struggle that Izrina faced leading up to it.  I ordered her to boot black and she was hoping she would not have to.. really hoping.  Problem is, I wanted this, and I wasn’t going to back down.

Why wouldn’t she want to, you might wonder?  She gets nervous, really nervous in the spotlight.  She argued that she wasn’t prepared, that she might embarrass us both, that I was setting her up for failure, and that it might trigger her hard  limit.  She has a hard limit on humiliation.  Oh!.. she really tried to argue her way out of it.   I am sure she considered every word I have uttered, in every lesson, in every principle I have ever laid down, looking for a loophole that would let her off the hook.

I rejected the notion that she couldn’t be prepared.  I assured her that I would be proud of her, that she could never embarrass me.  I explained that she could not fail if she pleased me – I am the only one she needed to please – I am the only one she can fail.

I rejected the notion that this was a hard limit.  I can’t have her living under a rock.  I love the lime light way too much. She will just have to hide behind me while I go into those scary places and sometimes.. she’ll have to be in the spot light like she is today in this blog, like she was yesterday, sitting with her sisters under the boot black sign.

I would love someday for us to compete, and for her to stand beside me and speak freely about her side of the dynamic and what it means to her in the competitions… but we will see.. someday perhaps.  Izrina- when you read that my pet.. you do NOT have permission to worry yet..

In the days leading up to the event, she would worry, and I would remind her that making decisions was my job.  And she would worry some more and I would remind her that shouldering her worries was my job.  And so it went..

I don’t compromise with my slave, I compromise with reality. ~ Quote – Raven Kaldera, speaking about being flexible as a Master

I wasn’t going to compromise.

Some argue that submission does not take strength. It does. Dominance does not require strength. It requires the gentle patience to apply irresistible force to the strength of that submission, until it bends comfortably, happily, to your will. ~Xtac Quote

Now, here is something interesting dear reader, that I’ve touched on before:  Domination and writing blogs has a quirks..I wrote about these quirks here.   Two recent blogs, in light of all the above information, should now fit like puzzle pieces into the last few days of writings. First I wrote “Does your humility interfere with your slavery?” and then I wrote “I am ignoring you, slave!”.

I wrote those pieces a much for you, as for her. NOW, you can see how those pieces were influenced and shaped by our behind-the-scenes drama.  I was in the middle of being the irresistible force that I am, busy molding my slave into who I wanted her to be, but I couldn’t come out and say that.

If I posted that before hand I would have further* boxed her into a public humiliation if she exercised consent.  (*NPE had listed her.)  Knowing all this I felt that it was best to leave some room for consent.  If she exercised consent I would have owned up to it.  Its how we roll.  It wouldn’t have been OK, but it is a consensual slave’s right. So I danced around this Master slave battle of wills in my blogs and pressed on.

The humility piece was an indirect look at her worries and fears. The ignoring piece was about laying down the law and being that irresistible force.  Both was a veiled look behind the blog at our lives.  If you pick up nothing else from me, get this one.  You manage the mind of your slave, not their body.  Patience combined with a strong will are your most powerful tools.  Anger can be a useful tool but you should almost never need it.

On the day before the competition, she asked for permission to worry.  Let me say that again.. She asked for permission to worry.  I am so proud of that girl some times it make my heart ache.   I granted permission, but only for a couple hours because we had important preparations to make,

and then I said: The only way you could disappoint me is to not go.  Izrina replied:  You won’t let me.  

OK.. I wanted to cry.  Do you get the significance of the statement?  This is a highly intelligent woman.  She understands her power to exercise consent.   She studied law, she argues like a lawyer, she never goes into anything without research. She always has her facts down.  What would make her say “you won’t let me”?  Only this this: She was made incapable of exercising her right of consent by her powers of reasoning.  Because of that, in her mind, my will was in a very real way the only law that she could follow.  She would rather risk having a meltdown, than disappoint me.

She dressed in jeans for the boot blacking but for the dinner came out in a striking black dress.. simply beautiful.   There were workshops and some really exciting scenes and a wonderful burlesque show but we will get into all that in another blog.  I am dedicating this particular blog to the subject of Resolving Master and slave conflicts.  Here is a real world example of the things I preach about, the things that we go through, and how they might end.

Mine was a happy ending.  I couldn’t be more proud of my slave.  Oh..and I’m proud that I was honored to be a NPE judge, and all that “I’m awesome” jazz.. blah, blah, blah.. It’s not about me, like that.  It’s about me because of she who is my canvas.  It is a slave’s duty to make the Master they serve look good.  Izrina managed this time to exceed my wildest expectation.  Good girl!