Joy of Collars n Sadists-part 3

Many days have passed since July 4th. Did we play afterwards? Of course.

Last night we hosted Dinner at HOX… we open our home on the third Sunday of every month. We played again after dinner.

We had brand new guests.. never seen before. It is always somewhat concerning when a new person or group comes to dinner. Will they fit in? Can we overcome any concerns? Will they come with baggage we don’t need at HOX? Will they be safe?

I am so happy this new couple came to visit. They traveled just under two hours (one way) to get to us.. so my slave and I appreciate the effort.. They had not seen fire play before and of course my girl is a fire slut.. so I agreed to do a fire scene/demo.

It was really a great evening.. just like the play after the collaring celebration. Jade Kitten visited for both.. and got a nice beating both times. I particularly like dancing with her as she purrs when she is enjoying the scene.. that feedback is very helpful for a person topping… and its quite sexy…

Last night my girl went down hard. Perhaps I waited too long to do her because after she hit subspace the climb back up to reality took quite a while… I helped by feeding her chocolates.

I love being among my own kind. I love sharing the discoveries that I have made on this long journey. When it comes to a dance.. or a scene.. or play.. whatever you want to call your sado-masochism I can still remember quite clearly from my early days – the struggle to hold onto the sense that I was still a good person. I had trouble reconciling this apparent love of hurting someone close to me with my own values. Do I really like to hurt people?

I think this is an important phase for any new sadist. All you know is, you shouldn’t do this to someone you care about. When you have little or no experience with masochists you have no understanding of just how and why they need what you are doing. You don’t have the foundation on which to reconcile your actions with your ethics.

Just as the man who does all kinds of perverted things with a girlfriend.. but then won’t fuck her after he marries her… Sadists sometimes do not make it past understanding the role they play in the life of their masochist.. and so they let them down.

Just as a submissive comes to understand that in their sacrifice.. in their giving to a Dominant.. an internal joy and pleasure is released… so too a sadist must often fight to give.. they must struggle to overcome these feeling about hurting someone else… particularly someone close to them.. until they finally understand that in this giving they can allow themselves to also feel joy.

It’s easy to feel joy in giving something good. To feel joy in being a sadist you simply must first understand the person you are giving to. You need to fully accept that for them your sadism is good. There are a host of reasons why a person can be a masochist. The list is too long to go into here. The most important thing that we as sadists really need to do.. is get to the point where we can allow ourselves a feeling of joy in our giving… and know in our heart it is appreciated.

Some may argue that what we should really do is get a masochist to help..because they are sick. It feeds your doubt. Don’t give in to your doubt. The body releases many wonderful chemicals during play. It is natural high. There are real benefits and if you are careful no actual harm is done.. but much good can result.

It can be a difficult road… But it is one that any caring person must travel and experience to become a good and valued partner to a masochist. Carpe Diem my friends.. be someone’s great day.

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