I am currently reading “Protocols – Handbook for the female slave” by Robert J Rubel, PhD. The thing that strikes me is how much of what is in this book, we already do.
Take the dining protocol for example. A slave serves from the left and takes from the right. For slaves just getting used to this, I always ask what direction the words in a book are presented to their eyes.. left to right.. in English anyway.. Food is presented the same way. That’s a little trick to help you remember…
I suspect some of the protocols we have acquired are actually handed down from high society etiquette from centuries past. interesting point that…
Some of the forms like standing at attention might have roots in the military. A Master or owner may command silence with a gesture you’ve seen in every commando movie.. Arm raised straight up and down with a closed fist.. which means “silence!” How many times have you seen that in an action movie where a commando does that gesture to cause everyone to pause? At least once I am sure…
Robert observes that as an employer he gives performance reviews and suggests that the practice makes sense for slaves as well. He also notes that motivation requires we give minimal focus to the negatives. We can brush over these by simply observing that these areas need work. On the other hand we should give great attenton to the success and praise. This helps build the slaves confidence and trust.
I agree. The reason a relation falls apart ( I think) is that the parties begin to focus exclusively on that which is problematic. I find in all of my dealings, both nilla and BDSM, that people in general respond much better when you listen and offer positive feedback.
We as a society seem entirely too focused on finding fault* and don’t nearly give enough attention to the things we can be thankful for. It is well established that appreciation builds a healthy mind and body…. so it only makes sense that we should spend more time on the things to appreciate.
*examples – The shame culture that digs way back in to a person’s past then does not support forgiveness, fails to recognize change (based on current behavior), demands that respect be earned (respect is lost, not earned.. it is a reflection of your values not the person you give it to-anything less and you are rude), etc
That is not to say that we should not be honest with ourselves regarding our fears, failures, and sadness… It just means that we should encourage these things to not be long lived… a phase of healing and improvement that we trudge through and then get on with our lives. It is best that our focus and our major time be spent in appreciation of the happier things in life.
Anyway, the book is a good read for anyone considering slavery. I highly recommend it.
Its been a brutal few days of cold, ice, and snow… but its also a beautiful winter wonderland just out side my window. I love the look of fresh fallen snow, the trees heavy with ice.. Yes there are things to hate in that, but what would the point be in putting my focus there? Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day!