Powerful people vs BDSM

I have two observations to share about powerful people and BDSM.  Let’s start with this from the nilla perspective.

So my first observation is that the more powerful you become, the greater the power of those who serve you.. and the greater the trust must be.

An odd thing happens when you are a person of power in a corporation or government.  The more powerful a person becomes in a corporation or a government, the more they come to depend on the people below them.  The people who serve powerful people bring focus to what they think is important.

Consider your own life.  The more busy you get the harder it becomes to keep track of all your things.  There is a break point where you cannot manage everything you are controlling.  Powerful people understand this quickly.  They cannot control every aspect below their sphere… so they bring in people they trust and depend on to do what they would do if they could.  These servants of powerful people may be under the control of another but that relation makes them powerful.

I would liken this to “topping while bottoming” in BDSM.   A submissive can be a service top.   They can top a dominant as a service while remaining true to their submissive nature by being obediant to the desires of the Dominant.   The analogy between BDSM and nilla has overlap, but it is not perfect.   What happens between powerful people of business and government is less personal, less emotionally charge in some ways – if you exclude sycophants and groupies.


My second thought or observation is that powerful people sometimes have a kinky side which is the opposite of their public side.   You see in movies, a powerful CEO on their hands and knees in submission to a Dominant and it makes you wonder.  Why this split?  Why would a powerful person have fantasies about submission?

The answer I believe lies in the first observation.. that powerful people are often being topped by those that serve them.  Powerful people are in some ways controlled by those they control.   A powerful person MUST give up a degree of control or they quickly become overwhelmed by the sheer multitude of details under their sphere of influence.

Giving up control is inexorably linked to truly great power.  This does not have a direct BDSM equivalent as a Master can control a multitude of details in a slave’s life.   It is the volume of detail that requires relinquishing power of a business leader or government official.  That is not to say that a slave cannot feel that an Owner has immense power.. it is a question of degrees.

I believe it was Joseph Stalin that once said that “a single death is a tragedy but a million deaths is a statistic.”  The smaller number of deaths is more personal, and therefore greater impacting.   In the same way, great power can be personal or it can be omnipotent.  How it feels to you can be expressed as a function of numbers.


And that brings us to a recent news event involving a powerful government official.  Katie Hill resigned her position in the house of representatives.  She had a consensual relation with a female staffer.  Her abusive husband outed her.  I hope he is prosecuted under California’s “revenge porn” laws.

Power, sex, control.  Interesting, these things.  The important thing for you personally is to find the place you are happy, and be free to live your life without it crossing over into public humiliation.

We are complex beings.  Our needs and desires are simple but there is no simple understanding of how the individual embraces the basic drives and compulsions we all have.   It would be best if we could just live free and happy and allow others to do the same without judgement.  Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day.



Open house tonight

Tonight is HOX open house.  That will be a nice break from the comfortable Master/slave routine that Izrina and settle into.  Aside from the almost invisible rituals, rules, and protocols that go on in the background all of the time,  any visitor might think we are just a normal couple.  Izrina has been out digging up bulbs and planting and what not.   I’ve been busy preparing the vehicles for winter.  We brought the fish in from the water garden… It freezes over in the winter.   Our new house guests are swimming around in their new tank, brightening up the 7pm protocol dinners.

Originally we had a fair number of people signed up for open house but some dropped off and some are writing with questions and considering going.   We never really know what kind of group we can expect until last minute.

Mistress Muroidea dropped by very excited about her Halloween costume.. and now Izrina has the bug… They are talking about shopping for a costume for the FMB Halloween costume party.    Something mixing BDSM and bunny.  Sounds interesting.  Me, I always go either Steam punk or Vampire..  Steam punk is just too cool.. Sci-Fi technology meets steam age design.  I also always loved the power, control, Domination, and yes fear of a Vampire.   That has always appealed to the Dominant/sadist in me…  So yeah.. one or the other.

One couple has expressed an interest in adding a third member to their lives.   I haven’t had a chance to talk with them one-on-one yet but I am thinking their thing is sex first, BDSM second.   Its interesting how each person, couple, or group has a thing….  a focus… but sex is almost always in the mix.

I’m not ready to make any observations on this just yet but I think it would be logical for sex to be in the forefront for younger people because your hormones are more abundant.. and less in the forefront the older folks…..  Mind you I am talking about logic.. the natural and biological tenancy I would expect  to observe as a direct result of your own internal chemicals.   Of course it should go without saying that there are never hard and fast rules with people..  you are always going to find people that surprise you and break what you expect to be normal…

Norms…I was heading into the hardware store and annoyed because my heals were stepping on the back of my flare jeans which were too long.. and suddenly a whole string of thoughts crossed my mind.  In the seventies I loved bell bottoms.. the huge “elephant bells” so big you couldn’t see your feet.  This led me to reflect on how some people hated other people who wore them.  Why?  Because they were different?  Why would anyone hate another person just because they didn’t  have the same kind of clothes or hair (long hair for men was out too).  Ah… the advantages of embracing diversity.

We’ve made some progress in that area but I think we have a very, very long way too go still.  If a person is too odd looking.. others still tend to want to avoid that person.  That makes me wonder how humans would deal with aliens mingling with us?   I wondered… if aliens who looked wildly different lived among us, would that cause us to no longer consider a human to be odd no matter how they looked?  Maybe. maybe not.  Yeah.. my mind wanders across odd topics sometimes.

Feeling horny and kinky today.   Hope who ever shows up at open house is up for a workshop or scene.  I’m feeling like dropping Izrina into a little subspace tonight.

Carpe Diem my friends… be someone’s great day!