There is a Fetlife post that a few friends have been clicking “love” on. You need a Fetlife account to go there, but this is the link:
People post these kinds of things all the time. They are rants about dirt bags, cheaters, fakes and phonies. People who need to be called out on for their shit, but also these are observations so others can recognize these problem people when they come across them. You have to have this kind of critical thinking or people will walk all over you.
From Master to slave.. you have to have a backbone. Even a slave has to stand up to the Dominant who has not negotiated in good faith or the owner who would damage the property. Being non-violent does not mean you can’t be confrontational.
The problem is that hate hurts the one who holds it. To do critical thinking means keeping your objectivity. Instead we often dwell on a thing, holding it close, and then become emotionally attached. Once feelings arise towards something you disagree with passion for the subject arises. Now you are bordering on hate.
To do critical thinking without hating means to observe, identify, and dismiss. You see what is wrong, you make a critical analysis to cross check your thinking, then you dismiss it and exclude it from you life.. you let go of it. You do not hold onto it. Just let it go! The world doesn’t need more people crusading against this or that.
It feels to me that if you have given enough thought to the kind of person to be shunned, and especially if you have started a crusade against that type, that you may have crossed the line into hating…. When you observe yourself crossing the line and correct yourself there is a danger in this too. To become a pacifist is not the ideal choice either. There are times when violence must be met with violence. Hate must be met with loving confrontation. Check yourself at the door.. your heart must be pure to confront without hating.
Its odd that we as a society kill people who kill, as punishment. Truth is, life is messy and seeking absolutes are a fools game. Sometimes you have to go against logic and beliefs to do what is right or needed.
Walking the line between hate and critical thinking is simple. You know in your heart when you have become caught up in negative feelings. Negativity is poisonous and yet often seductive. It’s so easy to get up in I’m right.. we’re right.. and that makes it all OK. It’s never OK to suppress those feelings that something isn’t quite right. If what you are doing gives you a twinge reexamine right away. If you sense a growing hostility in yourself to one you opposite, reexamine right away. Better to back out than try to make changes with hate in your heart. Another self-check is this.. are you looking for the good in the thing you disagree with? If you are not trying to balance.. that is.. simply dismissing possible counter-arguments.. then you may have crossed that line. A balanced person listens to and considers all points of view.
I’m reminded of a passage from “The Screwtape Letters” (excellent book). There was a woman who was certain she was going to heaven. She was very pious and all she asked for in life was some weak tea and properly made toast. Not too much to ask for such a giving person. Problem was, no one could make the tea or the toast just right and so she was justified in being an absolute terror to all around her. Why couldn’t she just get this one LITTLE thing??? Was it too much to ask to have a bit of weak tea and some properly made toast???
Ah, the slippery slope.
Hold love to your hearts. Hold those close to you who know what it means to Love and Love well. Exclude from your life those that are negative and poisonous, but not with attachment…. Just make a critical decision and let them go. Save passion for the good things in life. Be mindful of that which you hold close, and then just seize the day my friends… Be someone’s great day!