I don’t believe I have ever seen a discussion on this before – though it most certainly is out there somewhere.. and its never come up in a workshop or support group I’ve been in before… so this is just going to be my observations on this.
I am curious. How many Mistress/Masters/Owners let their submissive or slave initiate sex?
Let’s face it. Some Dom’s can be serious control freaks and some stypes want that. So what an sType can and cannot do is often already spelled out in great detail. If an sType was to initiate sex, they are sending a clear desire to please or be pleased.. but control of a Dom’s desires is also foundational. A Dom may put the needs of their slave first but we also put our wants ahead of our slaves. So what can we say about who initiates sex?
I am sure the answers to my question will be as varied as the respondents, nor do I think one answer is right for everyone. We could argue that sex must always be initiated by a Dom because it is a control that a Dominant should never give up and that might be a valid observation.. but I still maintain that at the end of the day equity of exchange is the apogee of our relations.. and nothing can stand in the way of that.
So about my choices. I like taking control of a slave but I think I might be a little quirky. I have never really been able to really enjoy what I do unless I feel like my partner is also enjoying what I do.
For example, when I first started dating one thing I wanted to know right away was how my date felt about about oral service and swallowing. I would quickly weed out future prospects that couldn’t meet my needs. Later as I became aware of community and shifted from a person who dated, to a Dom, I still retained my need to know that my sType enjoyed the services I demanded. In my mind at least, this is consistent with the foundation of consent that underlies all consensual slavery.
Moving from the past to now, I still find it exciting and hot that an sType desires to serve in a sexual capacity. Certainly the reverse is true. What can be hotter than a Dom taking his beloved property and using him or her as they please?
But if we really need to know the desire behind consent, what better way than to let my slave initiate sex? It goes without saying that I can always slap her away if I don’t want to be distracted, That moment though would be a rarity. It is more likely that I might deny her for the time being as a way of building anticipation and entrenching my control. I do so love to torture my pet and what better way than denial? Especially if she initiated.
There are so many other protocols, so many restrictions on Izrina that constantly remind her that she is property. I am not HER master, I am the master she serves. Her every action and word is monitored for things that might erode that mindset. I am not concerned for a back slide.
Does allowing her to initiate sex interfere with my control? If I am honest, yes… Perhaps a bit. But then when you have a slave for a long time you will find there are nilla aspects that start to bleed over into the raw and wonderful world you started with. It is not a sin for this to happen. What matters most is that equity is maintained. If you as a master do not forsake your sacred duty to make your sType feel your dominance.. and if you are both still getting off on it.. then all is right in the world. I personally think it can be hot to see and play with a slave desire…
Carpe Diem my friends.. be someone’s great day.