When you are first looking for kinky people it doesn’t matter how young or old you are, just dipping your toe into the kink community can make you nervous. After a few years t becomes almost humorous thinking back on it. Watching the people at their first munch and being much further down the road, you know the pattern you are going to see and you can even get a vicarious thrill sharing in all of the discoveries they will make.
If you have the opportunity to watch a toddler you can’t help but smile at the constant fascination with everything because literally everything is new. Your own perspective is adjusted, and you are warmed by this. So too, new community members are wonderful to be around.
Without newbies, its just another dinner with good friends. A warm social gathering in which kink doesn’t need to be the focus of your conversation because we all know each other and our various inclinations. Some like myself are drawn to TPE while others have a lifelong love of rope, or still others are looking to dive deeper into their sado-masochist selves.
So I take Izrina to munches and we share with old friends and make new ones. We have three steady events every month. The first Friday is LOL, or Love Of Leather. Formed by a leader who has since passed on, this group has moved far beyond just leather. Then there is the second Friday of every month and that is Pike Co NEPA. Its a relatively small group. If you regularly attend munches you will notice that attendance swells and dwindles from time to time.
Dungeon membership is the same. There are always the newbies, eager to try everything, showing up everywhere and then disappearing again. Some surface again and others do not. I often wonder if BDSM was a passing fancy or if they just settled into a comfortable long term relation and no longer needed company.
Then of course is the House of X DAsT meeting every third Sunday. We have not seen much in the way of attendance but Izrina and I still purchase a few Pizza pies and put out the sign at the top of the driveway. We’ll do this indefinitely and hopefully build a group of our own. I truly would like to be a community resource but I am new to the area and we’ll see.
Plus there is always drama in every community so I would prefer to build a small trusted core than treat this like a commercial venture. Like my blog, it is more about staying true to myself than what I achieve.
This past Friday was the second and so that meant NEPA. We met a nice couple Two women who were just getting started. The talkative one I took to be the Dom but when I asked it was the quiet one who was in charge… interesting… it is often the other way around with the Dom leading a shy and reclusive subby.
There was a gentleman who was looking to change the direction he traveled to be with community because of issues with his old community. He had opened his home for play and stuff went missing. It happens. Best you can do is keep your valuables in a locked room when you open your home to parties. When he confronted the party that logically were the culprits, it didn’t go well. Now there is tension.
The highlight though of my evening was torturing Izrina in public. We didn’t get our plates until 8pm and she was starving. Our protocol requires her to feed me a bite of her food and we have a code that tells her she can start eating. That code is for me to say the bite was delicious. If I say anything else, she has to feed me another bite and so on. Its a little game I play with protocol and how I torture her in plain sight with no one knowing I’m doing it.
The group had a large turn out and we had five tables pressed together with Izrina and I at one end. When the food arrived I got up to make my rounds, shaking hands and saying good evening. Izrina waited patiently at the far end. Now I could have shared with her that I intended to torture her but its more fun to watch her trying to decide if I forgot her or not.
Then I took a seat at the opposite end and began a spirited discussion with the folks there. Now she leaned forward and fixed an evil eye on me, glaring down the entire length of the table. I mentioned to the folks I was speaking with that Izrina looked very unhappy at which time about half the table suddenly warmed up to what I was doing. I waved at her.
Now she knew I was torturing her and had not forgotten her. She glared the more. Faces at the table looked at Izrina and then to me and back at her. Finally I called down the length of the table.. Hungry? I asked… Yes, she replied. Well it looks delicious, I said. She took this as her queue and dived in while those in the know had a good chuckle. The lady next to me said.. You are a evil bastard. Thank you, I said with a smile. And proud of it.
Later at home I told Izrina that torturing her in public had been the highlight of my evening. She smiled. She knows how I love my little games.
Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day.