Many years ago, I measured who and what I was, by the slave I owned. My slave was an outward manifestation of the power and authority I wielded. Measuring our worth by a relationship is a trap for Masters and slaves. Often a slave will feel they are worthless and not worthy of serving a powerful Master. The downside of this is that they don’t see their own real value, that which they bring to the table. As a Master, I too fell into the trap of seeing my value only through the eyes of my relationship and it nearly destroyed me in a very real sense. I wanted to die.
One day I was a God, commanding a beautiful woman to my every whim and the next day I was a Walmart greeter, not even worthy of doing the menial labor of stocking shelves. It destroyed me but as I have often commented it was from the ashes of that destruction that that the phoenix known as MasterX was reborn.
Tonight Izrina and I went to our local munch. We had just returned from a mini-vacation of sensual delights and mini Ds moments. As we drove away from the munch, I pondered my feelings from the meeting.
In the past I would often feel pumped up. It is in these meetings where my long history and all the knowledge I have acquired over the years comes into play and I often feel an heightened sense of status. I had none of that tonight, and I ruminated openly with Izrina.
I think perhaps, I said to her, when I come away jazzed from a munch it is because I have something to prove.. a need to establish my years and experience. But if am no longer getting that high, does that mean I no longer feel I have something to prove?
In at least one way, that is true. My relation with Izrina fulfills me completely. I have no need to fight for or establish any recognition in the community because my sense of who and what I do is assured. But its an old path and an old danger. I told her so.
I have returned, I said, to the days where my world revolves in large measure around a single person. I have been very slow and cautious to let down my guard and allow a single slave to be that important to me. I can do this, I think, because you have earned my trust. I trust you.
Izrina has stood by me with only a training collar for many years. I think the time has come to finally let down my guard, and go the way the nearly destroyed me in the past, to commit to a final collar. I am thinking fourth of July 2018. It is appropriate since it is only in the binds of her consensual slavery that Izrina discovers her freedom. That gives us both plenty of time to plan and make this a special day.
Carpe Diem my friends, be someone’s great day.