Broken promises, cock fighting

I know I promised the next blog to be a glowing report of the joys of this past weekend.  I must disappoint.  Next blog perhaps.  Things happen.

It was a grueling day.  Ten straight hours.  Breakfast by my slave was grand, as was the worship at return, but days end, I needed the everyday rituals of our normal routine… and to detox further, I had a double Bacardi, followed by another.  Izrina must rise at 4:30 am but I have determined to follow my de-stressing routine farther.  LOL.. detox with alcohol.. I amuse myself.

At one point in my life, an editor I knew kept a bottle of liqueur in his desk drawer.  Those of you who diet will understand… you know how when you drink, suddenly your will power to NOT diet is gone?  The same is for any of your iron will.  A little snort does wonders for loosening the tongue.  And since I’ve had a fair amount, I thought it an interesting experiment to see what comes out if I spoke of things on my mind.  I will judge tomorrow.

First, Izrina said the last blog rambled.. she said it seemed to be missing connections between thoughts.. hmm interesting.. I will re-read it later.  She is sleeping as I type.  I feel a rush to finish this.

Now, an interesting flood of emotions passed me as I visited my favorite dungeon.  It had been some time since I last visited.  A fair number of newer Dominants have stepped up and they fill the role of house members very nicely.. except that there is this thing.. They are judging you and you are judging them.. Oh maybe no one acknowledges it on a surface level.. maybe not even to yourself… but its there…some can not wonder why does this one command more respect than the other?

Its interesting.. a cock fight if you will.. or maybe a pussy fight…  The battle of egos is ancient and as old as the game we all fall into when we desire power.  It is unavoidable, the judging of your place, and what might change it.

Hmmmm at one point in a fire scene, Sno, who is as lovable and as stern a female Dominant as you might ever hope to meet, silently gave the protocol signal for permission to speak with me.   I was confused at first.  I had never seem someone of her power and grace signal to me in this way.   She only wanted permission to ask if I would allow a slave to “experience me”.  It was a moment.

What an odd rush and temper of my emotions.  I took no sense of superiority, but the wisdom and honor with which she approaches her Mastery humbles me.  Later, we sat together saying nothing.. and then she said.. what a wonderful family we have.  Those simple words were as powerful as the time she cried at the collaring ceremony.

Nor were any of the other Dominants there less hospitable.   I suspect that any ruffling of feathers were all of my own doing, the preparation for a fight that never happened.  But it is there even if it doesn’t happen… the posturing the occurs in ourselves and others as we prepare to defend our equality.   You see it everywhere.. the desire to posture to defend your right to meet strangers or friends on equal ground.

That moment, those brief words are a special moment I will wrap in gold and keep like so many others for as long as this physical form will allow.  There were so many other grand moments, but here is the point my friends.. often we get back from others, that which we prepared for.  Enter into each encounter as a blank sheet.   Let others determine the outcome of their encounter with you.  Be as a mirror, clinging to nothing, and when they pass from your presence, do not look forward or back.  Be only the moment reflected… this is best… Not bad words for an old, drunk, Master, eh?  I am weary and a slave awaits..

Carpe Diem my friends.

 

She let me…

My slave and I don’t fight.  What would be the point?  As the Master, I always win anyway.  But what does that really mean?  Izrina is a human being with feelings and emotions like anyone else.

This past Saturday was freaking awesome!  The collaring ceremony was beautiful!  It was a version of the “Ceremony of the Roses”.. and as always happens, drawing blood with a rose thorn took forever.. note to you all.. if you do this ceremony, take aspirin beforehand to thin your blood and bring one of those glucose meter prick thingys as a back up.

Now… Izrina wasn’t with me.   She had work in the morning.   So I got in around 2 or 3am.  She didn’t sleep well before that.  The truth is, while we are monogamous in our body fluid bonding, but I reserve the right to play with anyone in other ways at any time, and while she is OK with that, when a person fixates or fauns over me, OK becomes not so OK.  Truth be told, Raven is one of those people who fauns over me.  Not that Izrina exhibits any negative behavior, but I can sense it bubbling and I know it needs to come out.

So I had a wonderful evening.. and I left her at home.. and before I go raving about all that, lets talk about the slave I left at home.  We don’t fight, as I said.  Now if I was a nilla type of guy, I’d say she “LET ME” go out.  THAT doesn’t work for me, or for us for that matter.  We talked about her feelings.  I think it would be more correct to say that she gave me none of the drama that she might be feeling.

I in turn did the right thing, and discussed this openly and as honestly as I can.  My objective was to make sure that we understood our roles, and that I would be who I am, and that I was there to help her find her comfort with that to the best of my ability.   This is all very interesting Master stuff, so let’s keep rolling with it for now.  I’ll get to Saturday evening in my next blog.  Btw, I am also very interested in the term “emotional intelligence”.   More good stuff on the way…

For now though, lets just talk about being a Master without being poisonous.  In many ways, we who are Masters are somewhat sociopaths.  Everything IS about us.  We don’t understand why we can’t have it all.  We demand it all and when we don’t get it, we are quick to go looking how to get it no matter the cost to others.  When a slave ties themselves to us, they tie themselves to a person who will use them in all ways.

They know this going in, and yet the potential damage to a slaves cares and concerns is very real.  It depends on the Master.  When a Master is not a real sociopath, we do know when we hurt others and we do care.  We care deeply about others and most especially our beloved slaves.  So we compromise.

Not with our slaves, we would never compromise with our slaves.  We compromise with reality, with what IS.   We bend to that which we can not change.. but only if it does not change us in a way that WE can not compromise.

When you realize what a razor this is, how deeply it can cut either side, you realize what significance and importance you MUST give to compatibility.  You must take the time to find the one that fits your kink as you fit theirs.  It is a difficult thing but it you can find that, you have the world at command.

Izrina has the day off.. from work but not from me.  She rose early and served coffee and a delicious breakfast sandwich of Bacon, egg, and cheese, before I set off to do my thing at work.  Life is pretty damn good!

Carpe Diem my friends.. Go seize the day!