Last night was the Hudson Valley Love of Leather munch. I sat with a pair of gentlemen who clearly had some power and prestige at work. I listened as they discussed 150 million dollar projects and politicians that were personable in a face to face, but not that smart. Here were two men, clearly with the means to live an affluent life, with power over projects that would involve hundreds of lives.. and they were both submissive.
I asked if they thought that women had an easier time coming out as a submissive than men. One gentlemen showed his “executive side”. He laid out the structures of power at work, making it clear that people are only equality at the various levels.. the workers were equal, the supervisors were equal, the manager were equal. His tone took on the persona of a Dominant, that deadly serious, “don’t fuck me because I am not on the same level as you”, tone.
Me, I never tire of being Dominant. at work or at home. It’s difficult for me to relate to wanting to be Dominant in one part of my life, and not in another. Its a failure really. By understanding this need, we are better prepared to be a Dominant to someone who needs that kind of duality in their life.
Well, maybe not failure. Since my slave does not have these conditions, I don’t need to understand them to manage her mind. I am sure if she was a high placed executive, I would manage just fine because I would have direct access to a mind that thought along these lines, and I would find the keys that unlock her happiness. I am if nothing, supremely confident.
My question though remained. Suffrage for women started nearly a century ago. In the sixties women’s liberation picked up a lot of momentum. I personally feel that the move to equality has made great strides. If a woman wants to come out as submissive, that may appear as a betrayal of the equality movement, but I think it will be better tolerated than a man doing it.
There have always been men who pretended to be macho, but then went home and were a happy little door mouse. In the bars with their friends, they could boast about managing the ball and chain, but at home they quietly and happily let their wife run the show.
Being “a man’s man” is a thing. Men take tremendous pride in being the top dog. To reveal what might be considered a weakness can be devastating. Its like when a woman at a munch says, I’m a slave and then a Dominant treats them like a slave.. and the woman has to remind the idiot that I am not YOUR slave. Like the idiot, many men might not understand that a man who is a slave to his wife, is NOT a slave to anyone else. This applies to all genders and situations but especially I think with men.
And why exactly are men slaves so fucking demanding? Not all of them, but many are just plain ballsy about demanding that someone beat them. But I digress. It was another pleasant day, living with X. It is a stimulating life, full of things to discover, discuss, and explore. Carpe Diem my friends. Go be someones great day!
Oh.. and regarding Izrina’s loss that I mentioned in the last blog. In spite of my best efforts to make her have a nice cathartic cry on my shoulder, she has not. It might be that I’ve underestimated the level my training has sunk in. I handed the phone to my daughter so they could talk, and when it was handed back to me, she scolded me for trying to make Izrina cry. I laughed.. quite a bit.. Izrina who could not hear wanted to know what was so funny. So I explained I had been scolded by an eighteen year old. I am closer to my slave than anyone and I’ll decide what she does and doesn’t need. Time heals all wounds. We all just need some time and support to be able to move on. I’m on it…