I hope Vile, a blogger I respect and appreciate.. has a sense of humor about this. He has put out a number of pieces now in which he states firmly. .It is not about the pussy..
I was completing an interview with him and one question was about being a Bedroom Dominant, and I stated for the record that sex is not what I am about. But I felt like I had to justify my answer, like there was something wrong with that. You DO need to justify yourself if sex isn’t your main drive. People honestly don’t understand. In quite a few ways it IS about the pussy. I’ve been thinking about that.
It bothered me. I did my thing.. where I hold a question for a while.. I taste it, I put it on, I wear it for a while, I turn it inside out and try it on again, I mulled that question over and over until it was rags and somewhere along the line my muse came to me and said.. What the hell are you doing? You already know the answers. You just have to trust that you know it and trust that your ethics and heart will guide you well.
Right! You know what? There is nothing wrong with BDSM not being about the pussy.. but then there is also everything wrong with it. A friend and Master was approached by a slave who wanted to serve him.. So he agreed to a trial and invited her to his house. She was excited. He had her clean his house. Now she was less excited. The experience made her more reflective about serving this Master.. see? Sometimes it IS about the pussy..
I suspect that is exactly why he had her clean his house. Not to be a prick, or because he needed that but because he was testing her.. to see if for her, it WAS about the pussy and the beatings. Brilliant really, you should make a note of that idea. Most guys WOULD crawl on broken glass to get some ànd some slaves will walk out if service isn’t sexual.
Its not just the Dominate who can fixate on sex. If a Master isn’t taking possession of your body to use it, and maybe abuse it, ask yourself: Do you feel a little less like a slave who is desired? We all need to feel valued. So ask yourself: Would slavery get a bit old if sex was not part of your submission?
When a Dominant expresses desire for you by taking hold of your ass, whispering an earthy “mine”, doesn’t that feel wonderful? For some people there is something about the feeling of taking.. and being taken.. that incredible passion that strips bare all of our humanity and leaves us as exhausted puddles of satisfied flesh. If your answer is: Oh God yes! then the honest answer is that yes sex IS important and it needs to be acknowledged. Many slaves who aren’t getting pounded aren’t going to stick around. I know I don’t have that problem with Izrina. She is well tested.
Orgasm denial can be about torture, control, AND testing. At the end of the day though, there has to be some release. Sex is a requirement for nearly everyone. Orgasms are a healthy need.
Both Dominants and slaves have to ask themselves if sex is the most important part of their desire. You need to know.. You have to question and ask.. Do you care more about a good beating than anything else? Is the most satisfying reason for all this submission is between your legs? It works both ways. What is your hierarchy of needs?
Its true – When sex is good it’s only 10 percent of a relation and when its bad its 90%.
When you ain’t getting some, sometimes its all you can think about. You know its true. It’s all around you . People who are so fucking desperate to get some really satisfying sweaty sex, they would do almost anything. It becomes an obsession. But its like Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs. Once you have fulfilled your greatest need, you move on to the next. It’s why I created Xtac’s hierarchy of needs. Even though I pkace sex on the same level as control and beatings, sometimes sex is all I can think about.
Look..there is nothing wrong with sex being a huge part of BDSM. Especially if you are young and full of cum. Or an old horner fucker.. Hell, forget age.. The “little death” is an “out of body” experience that is addictive. We all know this. You don’t need me to tell you that. But you do need to think about where it fits in your personal hierarchy of needs. You need to have a discussion about that and its needs to be an honest one.
The Dom who starts your training by having you wear no panties might be into making you feel vulnerable to his control. That could be a good sign. But the Dom who’s first training involves learning to suck cock his way has revealed a fateful flaw. His personal hierarchy of needs is out of whack. Consent, trust, negotiation, and control all come first.
I actually agree with Vile that “It’s not about the pussy. I have no problem ordering Izrina to do her daily chores because I know as a Master it is my sacred duty to provide that sense of control and Domination that rounds out the experience. So its off to the kitchen for her.. in a skimpy little number.. red silk tonight… hmmm why is she so fucking hot when she is being all domestic? What IS it about secretaries and domestic help that is so fucking hot?
hmmm why are those curves under silk so mesmerizing? – as she bends to clean the silk hikes up, revealing that lovely line between ass and thigh… sigh.. and what lies between… mine for the taking.. I need only command… mmmm… slipper silk sliding over butt cheeks… hmm slippery is a word I can get behind.. A Master should never deny himself the pleasure of taking what is his…. Right? There is that dilemma again. Lord give me strength! Sometimes it’s just so hard (pun intended). Come on! (Opps! Puny again)...surely you can see that sometimes it IS all about the pussy!
Carpe Diem my friends.. Go be someone’s geat day.