Creative Writing – knife play

Written some time ago, I present this is semi-fictional, a collection of things I’ve done with sharp pointy things, but not all together with the same person, as presented here. The term tanto, along with other interesting knife terms can be found at one of my favorite knife sites:
Knife Anatomy by Jay Fisher

Edge Play
A semi-fictional story by Xtac (pronounced Ecstasy)
There was something undeniably irresistible about him from the very first time she saw him. Where other men had tried to rule her life, he just did; as if it was his birthright. He commanded her as easily as breathing, grasping her firmly, taking her breath away, and then dismissing her, as a “vanilla”.

He was infuriating and insufferable but mysterious and so she stayed, probing, asking questions until at last he explained about the life he lead, and how she could not be a part of it.

Dark secrets, both hers and his were exchanged, each bringing them closer to a world that both could share. It was all new to her and yet the excitement she felt to be in his command, to have the pain she needed, to have it administered by another, to have this burden of guilty painful pleasure lifted and placed in the hands of another; placed in the hands of this man which she now trusted completely with all her being and soul, was too delicious, too incredibly powerful a force to deny.

He brought his bag of “toys” in from the car, with her in tow. A small group of friends they had made at the local munch, gathered in the living room, anxious for the show, for the scene they would offer. He walked her to the center of the room and took the “scene collar” he always wore, from around his neck offering it to her. They had played out this scene before, she knew it well.

Will you, he asked, take this collar for the duration of this scene, and to the best of your abilities, strive to be my slave as long as you wear it? Will you obey my commands, attempt to anticipate my wants, and will you trust me to act in your best interests and needs? Yes Sir, she answered meekly, eyes down. She held her hair up, as the coldness of the precious metal encircled her neck. Precious; yes precious, she thought. Not because it is silver, but because he gives it to me, even if only temporarily for this scene, because he wants me, and offers me this chance to be his. As long as I wear this, I get to call him Master instead of Sir. Yes, this is precious, she thought.

He finished clasping the toggle of the scene collar and placed a hand at her chest, between her breasts, pushing her back silently up against the bed room door which was closed. He left her there, ignoring her while he laid out his toys in neat rows. She watched, nervously, wanting to fidget, but wasn’t sure what to do with her hands. She wanted to finger the collar, touch it but decided it was better to do nothing until ordered, so she watched and waited for him to finish. She stole a glance around the room. Doms and subs sat comfortably, silently watching this scene play out. She swallowed nervously. He knew that she used to cut herself. She had professed to be turned on by the idea of edge play. Hell when he talked about it, she had turned soaking wet, but this, now it was happening, this was real.

Out of the toy bag came floggers and rope, leather restraints and metal hardware, and now, a particularly nasty collection of knives. One was curved like an eagle’s talons. Another was oddly shaped, like a small samurai sword. Sir had shown this one to her before. He called it a tanto knife. All gleamed with the steel of razors. She found her knees going weak, and a tremble shook her body, a wake of fear, doubt, and the undeniable wetness of excitement flooded her being.

He pulled her forward away from the door, opened it, threw a pair of temporary suspension hooks over the top and then closed they door. He placed his hand again to her chest, fingered the silver collar and smiled, then pushed her back into the door. The wood was firm, hard against her back. He placed his hands on either shoulder, fingers up the sides of her neck, thumbs under her chin.

Cupping her face in his hands, he looked deeply into her in the eyes, and smiled saying, “It’s going to be OK”. She forced a weak smile, but her stomach turned in flip-flops and her panties soaked. So odd, she thought, how he commands me, how I respond, how I stay. She closed her eyes and waves of red hot sexual energy coursed over her clit and up her spine. His hands traveled slowly down again. She tremble again, under his touch. He stopped at her cleavage, and turned to the toys. It was like a break in continuity, to not have him touch her. It was an absence, a longing, she wished he would continue.

He fastened a leather shackle around her wrist, pulling it tightly until encircled and squeezed. The leather squeaked, that familiar pleasant sound that leather makes when it moves. As he placed the tongue of the buckle into its hole, the pressure released ever so slightly. He commanded her to take off her shirt and she did so hesitantly, not used to doing so with others in the room. She handed him the shirt and he folded it neatly and placed it with the toys, then guided her shackled wrist up, over her head and snapped it into the restraint at the top of the door.

She wanted to bring her free hand over her breasts, but he grabbed this one now, and after placing a shackle on it as well, bound her second wrist up over her head. She stood there, exposed, deep breaths making her chest rise and fall. She wanted to cover, to fidget, and a half dozen other things she could not while bound like this. She felt panic, at the fringes of her being, a reaction, that she suppressed. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply and slowly.

He reached over to his toys and selected a rectangle piece of stone, a whetstone, used for sharpening knives, and placed it in her right hand. Hold that, is all he said. She looked out over the room, attempting to keep her calm. The stone was heavy and rough, with hard corners. She turned it slowly in her hand, being very, very careful not to drop it.

Next he selected a small but wicked looking knife and raised it slowly, holding it directly in front of her face. See how sharp this is, my pet, he cooed in a low voice? Yes Master, she replied simply. I want you, he said, to hold this in your hand, by the blade, and be very, very careful not to run your finger over the edge. Do not squeeze it too hard or you will cut yourself. Yes Master she replied again.

He turned the knife and placed the flat of blade against the palm of her opened left hand. He paused, the steel lightly touching, as he placed his other hand at her chin, looking deeply into her eyes with a wicked smile, and said. If there is any cutting, I’ll do it, is that understood? Yes Master, again she intoned, but in her mind, the message was clear, he was testing her. By giving her the blade to hold, he was risking that she might cut herself, and daring her, taunting her, challenging her, not to do it. Her finger closed slowly, carefully around the razor edges, as she stared back into his eyes. His smile disappeared for a fraction of a second and his voice was a thousand whips, cutting his command into her, “Don’t disappoint me” is all he said.

While she carefully held the two objects her master had entrusted to her, he turned back to the guests and their host, completely ignoring her. I need something with ice in it, he said, preferably a bucket or small saucepan. Do you think we can rustle up such an item? Oh!, and everyone? He said, Now would be a great time to get a drink.

The group got up, milled around and he disappeared into the kitchen with the host. They came back with a small metal saucepan, filled with ice cubes and placed it next to the toys. She felt his intent, to put her on display, to give her time with the knife in her hand. She closed her eyes, and the room went away. If guests were staring at her, that was easy to block out, but the knife, damn the knife was there. The weight of it pressed against the pad of her thumb, against her fingers. If she moved it to a better balance so it wouldn’t be so heavy. But how could she move it without cutting herself. I must not let it cut me, I must not let it cut me, she thought over and over.

Time dragged on. Slow torturous time. Less pressure, lighter grip, don’t let the knife fall, over and over, until time stood still and it was only her and the knife, eyes closed, focused on this one task. She barely noticed as the guests filtered back into their seats, drinks in hands, and all eyes were on her, the slave, chained to the door, eyes tightly closed, holding the knife by its sinister sharp blade.

She was suddenly aware of his return, as he gently grasped her wrist. First, I’ll take this, he said. He grasped the handle and very carefully, slowly unwrapped her fingers from it. He thrust the knife into the ice bucket, and left it there. He took her hand and carefully inspected it for cuts, but she had been very careful, very delicate with the long grip on the blade. He kissed her hand, and then trailed his touch down her arm to her ear, well done my pet, he cooed.

Next he took a small blindfold from his toy bag, and approached her. Panic welled up in her throat, and she squeezed the whetstone hard. Ready? Is all he asked. “yes Master” she weakly replied. The blindfold slid over her head, and darkness fell. The room disappeared. She felt the blackness engulf her, and she clung now to the sounds of the room.

At first, she heard only the whispering of guests, but as she adjusted, she began to notice the sounds of traffic outside, and the occasional odd noises that we never notice, usually. He stepped close, very close and the smell of him was wonderful. He grasped her right arm, unhooking and lowering it. His breath was on her neck, his body so close, then came his deep voice at her ear. Edge play, my pet, is all he said.

The whetstone was still in her free hand as he took hold of this arm, pushing her elbow back into the door. I want you, he said, to keep your elbow at the door, and your arm against your side. He grasp her hand with the stone. Hold it like this, he said, and positioned her fingers in a circle around the stone. Now, he said in a low voice, don’t move. Hold the stone perfectly still. I am going to sharpen this knife, and I don’t want you to lose a finger.

She could feel the stone heavy in her hand and now it felt that much heavier. She heard the rustle of ice as he took the knife from the bucket. He placed his hand under hers. His knee slid between her legs and braced both of them against the door. His arm was just under her breasts, as he laid the knife against the stone. He slid the knife against the stone, the scary sound of steel against something harder. It scraped and the sound went through her. He leaned close. The edge can slide against your fingers, he said, but only one side cuts. As if to make the point a cold edge came in contact with her first finger. Now, he said, if I slide this against your finger fast, you won’t feel anything until the sting sets in, or he added with an evil chuckle, doesn’t sting, depending on what side I use.

Her mind reeled. Yes Master escaped her lips like a gasp. She wished now, that both hands were tied again so that she could collapse. The tremble in her knees gently shook her whole body. She struggled to hold the stone steady, to stop the trembling. Fast, he said simply. and then, before she could prepare herself, completely without warning it was over before she realize it started. He drew the blade quickly, lightly, over her upturned finger. By the time she realized what was happening, it was already over. He took the finger quickly and sucked on it, then bit her so hard she winced. Pain from the bite made it hard to tell if he had cut her or if he had teased her. Her senses stretched to every nerve in her finger, but still, from the darkness of her blindfold, she wasn’t sure.

He began to draw the blade slowly over the stone again, going back and forth, the sick sound of scraping, filling her ears. Her finger throbbed and still she could not be sure what had happened. She felt it then again, this thing she felt for this man, the man that did these things to her. She felt it like a need, like love, but somehow deeper, stronger, more powerful a pull than she had ever know a man could make her feel. It didn’t fit with anything she ever knew, but it was there, this need for him use her.

You have three more perfectly good finger tips sticking up, he chuckled, as he worked with the stone. Yes Master, again she found herself saying. What more could she say? What more should she say? Should she tell him that he owned her? That he could take her body however he pleased? Should she beg him to mark her, claim her? What more could she say, that he did not already know? He knew that he owned her. He had know that he would from the first day she met him.

He finished sharpening the knife without further incident, or so she assumed when the sound of scrapping stopped and she heard him place it in the ice. She took a deep breath, and realized that she been barely breathing. The sound of sloshing and ice bumping around the knife told her that, for now, the steel was sheathed. He took the stone from her hand, and she realized that her hand was trembling, or at least it was, until he took hold of it, and kissed it.

Slowly, deliberately, he kissed each finger tip, sucking it, and then placed his teeth at the root of her cuticle, that tender pressure point that he loved to tease in public, and bit hard, sending wave after wave of pain up her arm. Wave followed wave, one for each finger, until he reached the one in question. This finger he simple kissed and then curled back, closing her hand into a fist.

He grabbed her suddenly, by both hips and spun her, facing the door. A spank at her bottom sent a warm red tingle through her, and was following by the familiar sound of leather whistling through the air. He draped the flogger over her shoulder and trailed it slowly down her back, letting her feel the leather before it sang. It was soft, warm, and sent shivers down her back as she anticipated the pain to come.

The whistle again, this time near her ears, he was teasing her, tensing her up for the first blow and when it came, full of heavy thunk, slapping down on her shoulder blades, it was almost a relief. The first was followed by another and another, and another, coming harder and faster so that the pain spread over her, and through her. She ceased to be, she became. She was alive and the sound retreated as master applied the leather that colored her back in pink, then deeper hues. He alternate left, then right, the leather flailing over skin that grew ever more sensitive, and occasionally he threw in a wicked and skillfully designed shot that sent the tails wrapping around her ribcage to kiss the sides of her breasts and tease her nipples. He drove her deeper and deeper, her mind retreating into that place where pain turns to sparks. The sparks all collected with evil glee on her clit; a weird, warm, sexual pleasure that she could not deny.

It stopped suddenly, and she fought like someone who has jumped into deep water, looking for the surface. Without the constant stimulus, there was nothing, no room, no Master, nothing. She struggled to remember what it was she was doing. Before she could come up, he yanked her bra up over her breasts. The touch, the firmness, was familiar. Sir! She felt she must cry, not for pain, but for his touch.

Her pendulant breasts fell free. The fact that there was an audience did not exist in her mind. There was only Sir and she, whoever she was. No, she existed, yes! She existed because of Sir. His hands were on her breasts, but then came pain. He applied one, then two nipple clamps. She sucked in, the pain sending new bolts down her spine. A metal chain between them dangle near her rib cage. She trembled, with only one hand still tied, strapped overhead.

Perhaps sensing she could take little more, he turn her around again slowly, and took her free hand, the one that had held the stone, back over her head. She was grateful now for the support and let some of her weight down, let herself hang a bit by her arms. He stood close, his knee once again between her legs again. She wiggle a bit, enjoying the feeling of her pussy slide against Sir, now her Master. She wanted, so much to cum. For Sir, her orgasm was a gift given to him. She wanted this, to give Sir her sign of pleasure, to cum, to feel the release, the explosion of the passion and energy that he was frothing into her. As if reading her mind, or maybe because she was practically dry humping him, he said in a low whisper in her ear, You will NOT cum without permission my pet. Yes Master, she replied, but the pleading in her voice was unmistakable.

She heard the rustle of ice as the blade was once again lifted free, her pulse quickened; she reached out with her senses, trying to feel where he was. A single cold droplet of water splashed suddenly against chest and dribbled slowly down into her cleavage. He leaned up against her, his chest, near hers, his breath on her neck, and he whispered again.. Only I can cut. The knife was again in his hands, the words themselves cut.

She started to say Yes S….. But was cut short. A searing feeling stung against her left breast. Unexpected; it was like a burn, then a pain, then cold as her mind rolled though possibilities, trying to pin down what was happening. She realized he had pressed the flat of that ice chilled blade against her and she breathed again.

She had stopped breathing. Inside her blindfold, it was dark but the feeling of this flat, cold pressure on her breast was clear. As she processed these thoughts she could feel him turn the blade in his grasp, slowly, from flat side to edge. The edge of the blade was now against her breast, his hot breath on her neck, and he said it again: Only I can cut.

A feeling not quite panic or fear washed, a feeling strong and exciting swept over her and her knees buckled. She began to buck against the knee between her legs. She wanted something inside her. The desire to cum welled up as he pulled the knife to a point and drew it slowly down her front, scratching her as he went. She felt its tip, its malevolent edge, run slowly over her exposed breast. He lightly traced the nipples. She could feel everything so clearly thanks to the extreme cold of the blade. He turned the flat to her once more and brought it under the clamps. She had nearly forgotten the clamps and it sent new courses through her as she rediscovered the pain in her nipples.

With the flat of the blade he pulled back the blade and every so lightly slapped her breast with the flat of the blade. The clamps bounced, tugging at her nipple. She bit her lower lip, relishing the fear, the pain, the feeling. He took the blade from under the clamp and slapped her breasts again and again with the flat of the blade, each a small pain, a small terror, and a delicious torment. She wondered if the edge could cut this way? As of to answer her thoughts, he turned the blade to its edge again, and then to the point. With his other hand, he took the chain from the nipple clamps and put it to her lips. Understanding instantly, she opened her mouth and accepted the reigns to her pain.

Her bra up over her breasts, her nipples pulled high by the chain in her mouth, the tip of the knife at her breast, she leaned her head back, pulling her nipples up. As she pulled her breasts up, they slid up from under the tip of the knife. Very well done my pet, he said in approving tones. The pain of the nipples, and the thought of the knife, sent more shivers though her and she bucked uncontrollably, wanting so very much to cum. She pressed her clit against his knee. I would be so easy to cum now, with just a few rubs. Only master’s command kept her at bay. The torment was delicious, then painful, an aching need that could not be denied, but must be, but couldn’t.

But Sir was not done tormenting her yet. He trailed the scratching edge of the blade over one breast then the other. He scratched down, down, over her belly to her snapped jeans. He pulled the knife away and then something hard, maybe the handle, maybe the blade itself pressed up into the folds of her jeans. She rubbed against it anyway, not caring. She needed release. “Pleassssee Master”, escaped her lips.

He tucked the handle of the knife into her panties and she no longer cared what he cut. Sir unfastened her belt and pulled it through the loops of her jeans, then began to whip her thighs with it. She danced under the blows, the knife bouncing and jiggling against her. He pulled the knife back out from where he had tucked it, and unsnapped her jeans. The invasion caused only a moments panic but was driven away quickly by another repeat of the belt whippings.

Her body screamed to orgasm, for something to buck up against, something inside her, something, something. Something snapped inside her. He was there then, with the knife, and his body, pressed against hers. He trailed the knife down her body again, and whispered once more in her ear. “I want you”, he said, “to cum for me”. “Yes Master, OH God, yes please Master” she begged.

He turned the knife and pressed against her jeans, against her clit. As if her body had a mind of its own, without regard for safety, she began to buck, humping the hard object, and as soon as she did, it was pulled away quickly, a cold thin metal line at her neck, and a whisper in her ear. Slowly my pet, he said , Slowly. Give our hosts a good show.

Yes Master, oh God, yes Master, let me cum she begged. He pressed the handle against her again and she began to move her hips, sliding her clit back and forth over it. It was cruel to ask her to hold back, driven to the edge as she was, but she did her best to obey.

Slowly, deliberately, she rolled her clit back and forth over the handle. Her body screamed for release. Her spine was a river of sexual energy coursing through her. Her knees buckled but the sturdy straps held her, pulling at her arms. She convulsed; wild uncontrolled undulations that shook her whole body. Oh Master! She screamed, as waves became violent vibrations. Like a jack-hammer she vibrated, a long low guttural scream escaping the lips of a woman cuming as she had never cum before. Oh! Oh! Oh! She ejaculated against the knife, hot wet stickiness that flooded her panties and ran down her legs. Oh God Sir, OH! Master! She bucked uncontrollably and now Sir was there, holding her, keeping her upright, riding out the waves with her. The room was silent for a very long time.

Can I get a hand here? He asked and instantly there was a Dom at either side of her, unfastening her arms. Freed, she wrapped them around him, still quivering with the after-shocks and minor tremors of her orgasm in retreat. With help from the others, she was lead to a place on the floor, at the feet of her beloved Sir, and she hugged his legs, thankful for this man. The thought came to her, in due time and she timidly checked. Yes, he was as hard as a rock still. The excitement was still in him.


The worm turns (morals over ethics)

I will try to keep this brief, so that I keep your attention.  This is EXACTLY why I preach that ethics is superior to morals. It makes my blood boil.

The internet helps to  make RACK safe (risk aware consensual kink). Because we can share best practices and knowledge we are safer, and more responsible.  The internet pendulum is trying to swing the other way.  Not because of Donald J Trump, but because society attitudes always cycle. We are entering a phase where there is a new attack on porn and sexual perversion… (meaning you and I).  It’s happening around the globe.  I can’t wait 20 years for the cycle to swing around again.

 The “forces for moral enforcement” want to drive us back under the rock we came from.  Here is the plan:  dry up the ability to take payments for products and services and the porn industry dries up.. and us along with it. Everything we publish that is deemed “bad”, will die. The attack hit home on Fetlife where a thousands of accounts had to be deleted in order to stay open for what’s left of the community.   You have to ask, who will they come for next?

BDSM and some kinks will be collateral damage as credit card companies expand the  number of “obscene” sites they force to comply.  Bit Coin is not an option because it operates on credit cards for cash exchange.  Pay Pal is in bed with the credit card companies too.  You can’t start a kink friendly bank because if you can’t exchange money, you can’t operate.  This is a big hammer folks.

The “forces for good” have found a hammer and they are using it. This attack works. The “forces for good” have won this round and that will embolden them. Mark my words, after this success, they will further tighten their grip.  Princess Leah is dead.  The more they tighten their grip, the more lifestyles won’t slip through their fingers.

Do not go quietly into that night.  If you can’t put your voice into the public, at least support NCSF. You can shrug or you can get vocal with your politician, do it. those who do and join NCSF.  This is not the end.  Society always cycles.  This too shall pass.  In the meantime, we can work to hasten it’s passing.  Don’t get hysterical, but also don’t let your guard down.. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

Here is what happened to Fetlife ( you need an account to read this.):
Why Fetlife was forced to amputate some of the community to save the rest.

If I had John Baku’s ear, I’d fight money with money. I’d publish the names of the offending credit card companies and encourage people to switch from cards that didn’t play ball, to ones that did.  Must be some companies that want all that internet money…

Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas, 19141953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Why THREE collars are important

Buckle up boys and girls, X is going all un-apologetically old-school on your ass… yes.. I know I should be consensual about it and many a Dominant type is going to be all like.. you keep your hands off my ass, but I just cant’s help it!  I feel very strongly about this one.

The question on the table is: What the fuck is this THREE collars crap?  Glad you asked.  I give workshops on collars and I am not going to go into great detail about all the nuances of collars.   I am just going to go into the subject of the three classic collars. They are: consideration, training, and final.  Maybe some day when I’m bored, I’ll post something about how you might want to consider a romantic collaring, or spiritual, or private or classic.  Or maybe you might want to be sold.. with a collaring ceremony run as a property transaction, complete with papers of ownership, a slave registry, a registration tattoo, and an inspection before purchase.  Someday.. maybe..

Now if you are not familiar with the three classic collars, no need to fret.  And for the love of God, let’s not start the discussion about Leathermen and  the roots of this.  If you don’t want to accept the three collars as “classic” I am OK with that.  I don’t want to have a discussion about it.  Traditions or not, the three classic collars serve an extremely valuable purpose and if we can’t agree on anything else, let’s at least review what the purpose is.. then tell me if you don’t agree on the value.

Holy crap batman, I’ve seen this before.. it’s slave frenzy!  When a newbie hits the streets for the first time.. . a thing called  “slave frenzy” sets in.   It’s all new to you, and it’s freaking hot and sexy.  Maybe you hit a dungeon and some dude is like.. oooh new flesh.. and they do a suspension scene.. completely consensual, and the ropes slide over skin, and the harness tightens.. and your feet slip out from under you, and the suspension scene kicks in.. and you are fucking flying.. not just literally but in subspace too.  And you want more.. its a fucking carnival and you want to try every ride.  And you gotta, gotta, gotta have a Dominant and oh my lord I just gotta do this 24×7.  Whooooaaaaa Nellie!  Pull those reins back.. you’re a runaway slave in full slave frenzy mode!  Yep!  It happens.  It’s the time when the disreputable types move in for an easy piece of ass.

The slave with the sad eyes, sits in the corner... Even the most seasoned slaves can feel used after they have been through the mill of bad relations a few times.  They offered their trust and submission to someone that was..incompatible.  Maybe the top wasn’t honest, or maybe you weren’t honest with yourself..or you just wanted to be owned so fucking much.. that you overlooked some shit.. you could bear it.. whatever.. it didn’t work.  Now the scene is all shit and you have this big hole where your heart and juicy sex used to be and you want it back.. but trust is so hard to give again.

The last thing I want to do is blow sunshine up your skirt.. or kilt… I have better things to do up there!   Hmmm.. I mean, I don’t want to give you false hope.  I don’t have all the answers, but the classic collars serve a purpose and the a fore mentioned problems are just part of what they solve.   So let’s get to it, shall we?

Collar of consideration.  The consideration collar is a bit like wearing a class ring on a necklace, this means you are going “steady”..  Hey.. I’m nearly 60.. I don’t know. do kids still go “steady”?  Maybe there is a better analogy, but when a slave and an owner come to an agreement, when they both think they might have something in common, the first thing they both want to do is let others know that there is a relationship.

Now it seems to me that nearly everyone is willing to hit on someone that is smoking hot, even if they are married, or an owned slave.  There are a lot of unscrupulous people out there. So marking your territory with a collar is of very limited value.  Only the people who understand respect are going to care that you marked your territory and those types wouldn’t be a problem in the first place.. So let’s just gloss over that as a value.. it’s not anymore.

What DOES have value is that before a Master offers a collar of consideration, before a slave accepts his or her collar, there is an opportunity for discussion. It’s a time for negotiation, to find out what’s going on inside the Dominants head. What does he or she see in this slave?  What kind of training would they offer?  How deep is this submission thing going to go?

It should also be understood that consideration means just that.  There is not commitment..on either side… Its a contract that no one should feel bad about breaking.  You are in a simple phase that might last from three to twelve months, depending on how each of you think its going.  This slows down the frenzy.. it gives time for you to both think rationally, and to realize if you are walking into a mistake.  There is time to reverse course, back out, realize that what seemed perfect at first glance, won’t be.

Training Collar.  The next collar is the training collar.  This is like an engagement ring and I am fairly sure those are still in use.  Here is the beautiful thing about a a training collar.  By the time three to twelve months have gone by, you will have had plenty of time to figure out if you both like anal or not.  If you like a leather massage or a caning.  Does the Master you are entering into a relationship push harder than you can enjoy?  Are you floating or just holding on and waiting for it to end?   You HAVE to be honest.  This isn’t about admitting you ate the last of his cherished Oreo cookies.  You are figuring out if this thing is going to work.  It’s really, really important, and the training collar says.. you got this.. you know in your heart that negotiations are over.. you are ready for this Bad boy of Dominance.. or girl.. to take you!

With a collar of consideration, you didn’t need to ask if your three responsibilities* would be respected.  You didn’t need to know if you were giving up the first of your three areas of choice*.  You didn’t need to figure out which of the four areas of TPE negotiations* would apply to this submission.  Now you have to have that shit figured out!

The training collar means negotiations are in their final stages.  Oh, you may be tweaking them here and there, but for the most part, now you know exactly where this thing is heading.  Are you starting to see the value now?   The three classic collars is a build up, these provide times to stop and pause, to reflect, and to rejoice at a new level of achievement in your relation.  Speaking of rejoicing..

The FINAL collar – We pray.. Masters and slaves alike, that the final collar IS the final collar we will ever put on.  Most come with a padlock.  They stay on.. for life.  They come with a collaring ceremony, surrounded by friends and acquaintances from all over the community.  It’s a time, not unlike a wedding, when you take the BIG plunge.  This is the one that you won’t back out of.  The consideration was nothing.. easy to break.  The training could fail, for no ones fault.  You could discover you are incompatible and split.  But the final collar, oooo baby, that’s the one.  That means yes!  The Master is saying, this is the canvas I want.  I look forward to a life of swimming deeper and deeper into his or her psyche.  I have tasted submission and it is good.  I will have it, claim it, stand above it, and carry it in times of need.  All that is left is to decide what KIND of ceremony fits you.


So many question unanswered.  This is just a primer… a peek at the world of collars.  It is why I give workshops on it.  This is important stuff.  But mostly, I encourage people to consider following the three classic collars.

One question would be.. what kind of collar should I get?  What should it be made of?  Does it have to be around the neck?  Can I take it off?   Who owns the collar?  Can I hide it?  What if I want it off?  So many question, but no answers now.. Its too much info for one blog.  My workshops usually run about two hours.   I blog more on this another time – perhaps.

All I want you to do is think about the concept of three collars. It’s an idea that has merit. The value of taking time to reflect on where you are going, and pausing to have a discussion each time you make a bigger commitment, is something I will always support.. even if it is a bit old-school and not popular.  It makes sense to me.. and I plan to continue to promote it as long as people invite me to speak.
Well that was a long one.. as usual.  I really do love to hear myself speak, don’t you think? Ah.. its not all bad.  I have a good idea once in a while.  Carpe Diem my friends.. go be someone’s great day.


Related   (* was mentioned above)




I am ignoring you, slave!

Unbelievable! – Can you imagine a responsible Master saying to their slave, “I am ignoring you!”?  Neither can I.   At first blush, I would say NO Master would ever do that.  We are sworn to take away your burdens, to shoulder your worries, we listen dutifully and we act.

Truth is it happens, it happens all the time, and its not a bad thing.  A few years back in the “Cult of fury”  (a dungeon  that was discovered and closed down by panicky nilla’s), I watched as a friend did a scene with his bottom.  She whined and complained and he just ignored her and went on with the scene and I smiled.  It worked for them. I turn to that memory every now and then.

Its a fact that we have safe words because no doesn’t mean no.  In fact, its kind of hot when you ignore a No!, and keep on going.  It gives you that feeling of authenticity, it makes our consensual non-consent relations feel more real.

I was speaking with Vile, a blogger who I am on page with like ivory soap.. 99.9 percent pure, all good info, all the time.  He noted something similar.  There are times that he is exactly like I describe myself.. a slow, steady, unmovable force pushing until his slave molds comfortably, happily, to his desires. I bet Arianna ( his slave ) and Izrina could swap some great stories..

Support groups!  We don’t talk about THIS often enough. Sometimes we DON’T listen.  Oh we hear the protests, the No!, the objection to where we are taking you, but we are going to do it anyway. This is why slaves need support groups.. so they can get together and agree that we are assholes but they still love us.  A great slave will promote the one they serve in public, putting forth only the goods side. That is another reason why support groups are helpful.  We all have these things that we don’t talk about, like the times an Owner didn’t listen.  In the comfort of your fellow slaves company, then is a good time to share, to know we all experience similar things, and agree that its actually a good thing, and sometimes kind of hot.  It is also a time to find out when it is not normal and that might be bad… though if your owner isn’t keeping you from support, I doubt it.  Its the ones who don’t want you in support groups to watch out for.

Deal with it!  In the TPE (total power exchange) or CNC (consensual non-consent) agreement, you signed up for this.  You gave us all this power and we are going to make you do things, that you in your heart know you wouldn’t have done if it wasn’t for us.

Its not that we don’t listen, we do.. but and forgive me because I know you are not children so this makes a poor analogy, but we do sometimes treat you like children who are whining about chores.  We hear you and we are still going to make you do them anyway.  Sometimes the results are awesome.

The good side – She who is my canvas, Izrina, if she is NOT in the middle of being made to do something and therefore in a less generous mood.. will tell you that I have pushed her into many things and in many ways she is much better off for it.  Specifically in the areas of health and finance, I’ve made very useful changes in her life.

Speaking of Izrina, she has been listed as a Boot Black in the 2017 North East Power Exchange competitions schedules page (here).  She’s nervous, but once she is sitting with her sister slaves, that will calm right down.  I love to see slaves working and laughing together.

IMPORTANT STUFF!   I think its important to note that at times a CNC may appear to actually be NOT consensual.  Slaves whine, and complain, and object, and we go right on doing things anyway.

Sometimes its hot!..On your back wench and spread your legs!  Sometimes not so much.. My back is killing me.. can I just do oral service?

Sometimes Dominants appear to be insensitive, and on one level we are.  Its kind of like the old tough love thing, we have to harden ourselves to push you to the places you asked us to make you go.

Nothing is ever as easy or simple as it sounds. When you get right down to it, a real Dominant is always open to criticisms of abuse, both physical and verbal. A slave gives the gift of trust.  We don’t think about it very often, but in a way, a Dominant gives a lot of trust too.  We are often risking very real, legal intervention in our lives.  We take on this risk, in part because we too trust.  That is, we trust this won’t be turned against us.

When you hear bad things about Dominants, here are two quotes to go with it.

Remember this-EVERY accusation of consent violation has a predator and a victim..every one. The real question is, who is the predator and who is the victim? ~ Xtac Quote

If you ever hear a bad story about me understand that there was a time I was good to those people too, but they wont tell you that. ~ Author unknown


The THREE slave areas of choice

An external slave, one who is enslaved by external forces, has no choices.  An internal slave, one who is enslaved by their own desires to engage in submission and consensual slavery, has a world of choices.. until one day.

One day that slave, having been responsible for years, and having honed his or her skills in decision making, and having protected the property that is their body, keeping it safe for the Owner who would one day take possession, finally finds and requests the gift of domination, and is scared and excited to find that Dominant has chosen to bestow that gift upon them.

On that day, when a slave enters into consideration, then training, to be a slave for the Dominant of their desire, on that day their areas of choice narrows significantly.

Some might argue, a slave makes one decision, the owner they would serve. I find that to be a simple and uncompelling concept and patently wrong… a slave does not choose the owner, that violates the very core of control.  I present to you a richer, more full look at the areas of choice a consensual slave has.. regardless of how their owner prefers to structure their TPE.

Who, What, When

Area 1)   Who gives commands – The consensual slave retains the choice of the individuals to whom they give their ultimate gift, the gift of trust. Once a choice is made, the consensual slave will make known their desire to submit, requesting the gift of Domination, mentoring, or protection. This choice may be negotiated away.

An un-owned a slave can and must judge the Dominants they would offer their trust to.  Be it for a scene, or a protector, a mentor, or a possible owner, the consensual slave must exercise their first responsibility as a slave, drawing upon all the wisdom they have so far accumulated, in the selection of who to trust.   An owned slave may relinquish their responsibility to choose wisely who they will trust, giving that responsibility to the one they serve – all the more reason to choose wisely.  An owned slave may retain this area of choice completely, if it is negotiated as part of the TPE agreement.  If a slave gives this area of choice into the control of their Dominant, the slave no longer retains the right to chose who to trust, though they may still have a voice in the process. This is the first area of choice that any consensual slave starts with.  It may be negotiated away.

Area 2)  What commands are accepted – The owned consensual slave will faithfully execute all commands of the dominant they serve but will choose wisely the manner in which they resist commands that violate their responsibilities to the property, its values, and its ethics.  This choice may not be negotiated away.

A slave will ALWAYS be responsible for the commands they accept.  You must weigh commands against your values and ethics and those that don’t measure up must not be accepted.  You should not accept harm to the property that is your body.. Pain maybe, but no lasting significant harm.  Lastly, you may retain those areas that are agreed to under the four areas of TPE negation.

The responsible Dominant will understand a slaves values and ethics are a higher priority and might even test that a slave is still acting as the final arbitrator of right choice, and right action, as defined by the slaves personal values and ethics.  A good Dominant needs to know that the core values are intact.

Many a slave has committed acts they later regretted because they failed to exercise this area of choice. This area of choice MUST be retained.  This is the second area of choice for any consensual slave.  It may not be negotiated away.

Area 3)  When to withdraw consent – A consensual slave may choose to exercise the power of withdrawing consent, knowing that any time the power of consent is exercised, may be the last time they do so as an slave of that owner. This choice is fundamental to BDSM and is impossible to remove under the concepts of consensual internalized enslavement.

Any consensual slave ethically and legally retains the right at any time to withdraw consent.  Consensual slavery is founded on the concept in internalized enslavement.  To not acknowledge this is to shift into external enslavement – enslavement enforced not by desire, but by fear and intimidation – and it is evil.

The consensual slave can not control what commands they will be given or when.  They have submitted their body and mind into the will of another and given the ultimate gift of a slave, complete trust that this submission will be used honorably, in accordance with the four areas of TPE negotiation, and within the slaves core beliefs, values and ethics.

If an owner violates that trust, repeatedly and without repentance, it is encumbrance upon the consensual slave to exercise good decision making and withdraw consent.  The owner may in return choose to remove his or her collar.  These are decisions not to be taken lightly, but the right to withdraw consent is always present, always an option. Both slave and Owner would do well to remember this.   This the third area of choice for any consensual slave.  It exists always, in every minute of submission, even if that submission lasts a lifetime.

Being the arrogant pompous ass that I am, I like to think that this is a much better approach than the simple.. you are a slave.. you do everything I say thing.  Call it my version of best practices if you like.  Reality dictates that is this is just my opinion, but being a Dominant, I naturally think that I am brilliant and therefore this must be spot on. I am pleased with this final draft.




Does your humility interfere with your slavery?

I like a shy slave.  A “we’re not worthy” kind of slave.  I feel like those slaves really understand my gift of Dominance…  But then reality sets in…

I can’t tell you the number of times a slave has said something like: “I don’t know if I am good enough..”   My response is.. “What?!!! Do you think I would pick out garbage to give my gift to?  Do you think I don’t know what I want?  Are you trying to tell me what I like?”  Those kinds of questions will usually have such a slave stammering almost immediately, and retreating even further into the comfort of their shy retreat.  Here comes the social sadist side..wait for it.. Not that once engaged I would allow a retreat!

I sat with a Dominant one night who was on a rant about slaves who would quit rather than try.  Submission wasn’t enough. He had to have something more.  I wasn’t on the same page with him.  Again, I thought, I like those shy kinds of slaves who seem to want to drop to their knees and wail.. I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy..

I might be coming around to his thinking though.  If you are a slave and you like being in the shadow of a strong public Master, that can be a wonderful thing.  But regardless of being owned or not owned, there is a downside to shyness and humility. I have always known that this needed attention but now I am starting to think it is something to take much more seriously into consideration.

The problem with humility and shyness is two fold. 

First, when you have an abundance of shyness and humility before you are owned, you may make decisions for a Dominant that they don’t want you to make for them.  Like to not approach them with the offer of your trust.   You may feel unworthy, leading you to undervalue yourself.  It’s easy to do and all too common among people who really, really need submission to be free.

Second, when you have an abundance of shyness and humility after you are owned, this may get in the way of a direct command.  You may feel that everything you do for Master must be perfect, so that others know what a good owner he or she is, and how obedient and faithful you are.  Now in the course of these fears you may over think, over research, over do a task.  Or you may even balk at the task for fear that it is beyond you.

So the question becomes, how do you over come these limitations?  The answers are many, though only some may work for you.

Overcoming the limitation of humility and shyness

Your value is measured by what you bring to a relation, not by the relation itself. 

Never forget that with or without an owner, you are a slave.  A slave is property and every property has value.  Your value isn’t in your willingness to comply, or your level of submission, though these are important.  Your value lies in your honesty, and your decision making.  Your Dominant will determine if your submission fits.  Honesty is absolutely critical to the slave’s gift  Can you be honest?  Can you use that honesty to make a real decision?  Then you have value.  NEVER forget it.

Note: This bears repeating.  Submission is not a gift and ultimate submission is not the ultimate gift.  The slaves ultimate gift is trust. When trust is coupled with honesty, you can find someone truly compatible and that makes your level of submission work.  Trust, honesty, consent.. they work together.

An offer of Domination means someone sees your value

It doesn’t matter if its a scene for one night, or a collar of consideration, when a Dominant offers the gift of their Domination, it is not your place to question their decision. You may accept or reject the offer but the fact they did offer, means that they see potential in you.  If you accept, THEY will decide if you are the right slave for them.  You have been given two great gifts..validation of your value.. and you have been given the chance to lighten your burdens, to place all of your worries into the hands of one who will handle your worries for you.

NOTE: You might want to know what they see in you.  Hopefully its not just an easy piece of ass.  That is not how it should work, and that is NOT a sign of valuing you.

Worries are not yours

If you accept the gift of Domination, your worries.. should be stricken from your vocabulary. THEY ARE NOT YOURS!  A dominant should above all be making decisions and the most important decisions they can make are the ones that lighten your load.  What is the point of giving your ultimate if it isn’t used.  Give completely of yourself.  Allow yourself to FEEL the trust you have given.  Trust that you can speak of your fears, concerns, and worries. Let your Dominant help shoulder them.  Of course a Dominant may also add to your worries, pushing you to achieve more. Again trust your Dominant to do the right thing.

Punishments are not yours

When you have an abundance of humility, you will often feel that your work isn’t good enough. You will want to punish yourself for screw ups.  You might keep playing that last screw up over and over in your mind.  You should not be allowed to do that. I wouldn’t allow it. 

Just as all worries should go to the Dominant, punishments are the property of the Dominant as well. The Dominant will forgive, or choose the punishment. They will choose how quickly to provide punishment.  They will provide the relief of knowing the punishment is over.  They should not want you beating yourself up. We Dominants want our slaves to be happy and you can’t be if you are beating yourself up.  Don’t do it.

Decisions are not yours

Well, not all decisions belong to the Dominant. Studies show that moral fiber degrades when all authority is removed.  A slave will ALWAYS be responsible for the commands they accept.  You must weigh commands against your values and ethics and those that don’t measure up must not be accepted.  You should not accept harm to the property that is your body.. Pain maybe, but no lasting significant harm.  Lastly, you may retain those areas that are agreed to under the four areas of TPE negation.

That being said all other decisions belong to the owner..  Even a submissive who is not owned, but has an abundance of humility and shyness, should question if the decisions you make are being made FOR ONE PERSON OR TWO?  Be honest. Ask yourself, am I deciding for me only, or does my decision maybe interfere with the wishes of the one I serve?  If it interferes, that becomes a worry and worry should be discussed.  So discuss it.. easy peasy.

Your worthiness to serve is not your decision

Here is what I as a Master want to hear when I give an order and you feel you are not worthy:    “Yes Master – this slave will try to be worthy of its Master’s trust and praise.

That answer tells me that you understand that I make the decisions. It tells me that you will try to obey to the best of your ability.  It tells me you have doubts in your ability but you will trust in my judgemenvt.

How good is good enough for a Dominant?

This answer comes to us from Vile – A good Master knows his slave’s limits and would never give a task knowing there would be failure.  This is what I expect from you. I expect you to do the best you can do. If this is done you have pleased me.  See his blog here.

It is not easy always easy to slide into these mindsets.  It may take years of service to a Master to get to the point where this all happens without thought. But a successful Dominant will keep working at, creating a place of deeper submission and trust.

To create the mindset of Master and slave, we must have the two key ingredients..

  • The gift of a slave’s trust
  • The gift of a Master’s Domination

The slave mindset needs to be centered around trust that the power given, will be used wisely, for the betterment of both. The Dominant, to create that condition must use the power that is exchanged in constructive ways.   The slave trusts that this is so.  A slave is not weak.  It takes great strength to overcome humility, shyness, fear, and other factors until you can finally to trust another so completely that you will give up substantial power in exchange for the gift of Domination.

Many a slave is strong of will, but the successful Dominant is stronger.  Like an irresistible force meeting an unmovable object, the successful Dominant applies his or her will without anger. They apply their will with love and patience; an irresistible force brought to bear upon the slave until they mold comfortably, happily, to the will of the Master.

It’s a great day to be alive.. Go be someone’s great day… Carpe diem my friends!



Assholes of BDSM

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.

Sure, a lot of people like anal but nobody wants to deal with a really big asshole.  Seems there are a lot of us running around the BDSM community.  Yeah, I said us.   I’m one too.  I really try to be all consensual and sensitive and what not but I still have this social sadist streak a mile wide and sometimes I can’t help but rub your rhubarb the wrong way.

Take the munch I like to go to.  Their invite page was, in my less than humble opinion, in need of a professional overhaul.  So I contacted the leader and offered my services.. to make it all pretty and what not.  He was all like.. that would be great, and I was hoping to get you involved..etc…  So I put up a test page on my own site for him to look at and he took offense.. I had posted something for his group without checking with him first or with permission and I should take it down immediately.  Boy did my asshole side come out then.  We still talk, and are quite cordial but I don’t think our friendship has ever been the same.  Now don’t go taking sides.. you don’t know the flames I sent on that one, so let’s just say I did the thing I do.. slow, with no anger, but an irresistible force, hell bent on my way, damned if i am changing course.  Can you say: “Damned the torpedo’s full steam ahead!”

Or the time I was leading a Masters and slave support group.  The group has a rule.. all slaves will sit on the chairs and not at their owners feet.  The idea is to put people on equal ground.  Well, I am thinking.. my slave isn’t participating, and its my damn slave, and I get to decide what to do with her.  Who the hell are these people to tell me what to do with my slave.  LOL.. THIS in a group I am moderating.  While my points are all true, I was a guest moderator and its their group and their rules, which makes a change in the rules something open for discussion, not an edict.  Well my insistence blew up and so I made Izrina wait in the car.  I refused to let her sit beside me.  I was going to have my way  no matter what. Yeah, I can be a big idiot.  Not always.. but I have my moments.

A side note on that.. I am really proud of her.. that is always a warm memory.  She did as she was told and it was quite a few hours until I later came out.  Turns out it was too hot to leave the windows up, and too many bugs to leave them down, so she never really got comfortable, but she stuck it out because Master said so.. Yeah, really good memory for me. Reminds me of what a good slave she is.

Now there are other assholes out there too.  Maybe they think they have the “one true way”, or maybe they call it “Best practices: ( I like that one) but either way they are convinced they are genius’s of human nature and born to lead the BDSM community.. have you noticed I have a touch of that in me?  You have?  Good.. Because next I am going to release my “Three areas of choice for slaves”.

What gives me the right to go putting out ideas and best practices like that?  Well the fact I am a flaming asshole of course.. Well that and that I do spend a lot of time studying people and thinking and writing and I like to share.. but let’s go with the antagonistic approach and just say its because.. Fuck you.. I said so and I’m an asshole.. I’m good with that.

The THREE slave responsibilities

A slave has three responsibilities.  These are not shocking and not so different from anyone else, but they are critical to establishing a foundation for the slave’s three areas of choice.

1) Ethics– A consensual slave will strive to make good decisions, guided by those they serve, but doing what is required by their personal ethics at all times.

We do not own any object of this earth.  Not even our bodies do we really own.  All will return to dust one day.  Even time is not ours to own. We can not add another minute of time to our lives.  All that we truly own, are our decisions.  Nothing therefore, is more important than the decisions we make.  What guides our most important decisions is our code of ethics.  What we believe above all else to be right behavior, right action, just action. It is therefore imperative that our personal ethics be our highest responsibility, before all else, even before the will of the Master whom a slave desires to serve.  The responsible slave practices good decision making, and ethics, with or without a Master.  This is the consensual slave’s first responsibility.

2) Property– A consensual slave will protect the property that is themselves, and the property of the Owner, as long as this protection is not in conflict with responsibility one.

Every property owner expects that when another uses their property, that it will be protected, and cared for, and returned in good shape.  So it is that every responsible slave will protect and care for the body, mind and health that is the property of the Master they serve, or the owner they will one day serve.  They will seek to do the same for the Master’s other assets.  And if that Master shows no regard for the damage they might cause the property, the responsible slave will protect that property even from the owner, until said owner returns to their proper appreciation for the property.  This is the consensual slave’s second responsibility.

3) Submission – A consensual slave will obey all commands of the Owner they serve and none other, as long as the orders* are not in conflict with responsibility one or two.

Slavery may be external and coerced or slavery may be internal and consensual.  We in BDSM recognize that love can only co-exist with power under the terms of consent and reject external slavery.  The un-owned consensual slave has no responsibility to submission but the owned consensual slave is completely responsible for their submission; forever mindful that protection and ethics are higher priorities.   The consensual slave that seeks the freedom that comes of submission, that comes of total trust, of the knowledge that your burdens are another’s, of the knowledge that the will of two people has truly become one; this slave must strive with all the trust they can give, to exchange all power to the Master they serve, placing their will into the control of that Master, with as little reservation and resistance as they can muster. This is the consensual slave’s third responsibility. 

*Orders may further be narrowed during TPE negotiation.

These are the THREE responsibilities of a slave.  They are the foundation on which a slave’s three areas of choice are built.  I am pleased with the final draft.


The FOUR areas of TPE negotiation

If you were starting to think this is a nifty journal but I have nothing to lecture on or share, au contraire.

I have often heard folks in the BDSM community offer a simple explanation for the difference between a sub and a slave: A slave makes one choice, who they will serve. Well! When you put it that way it seems pretty simple.

The problem is, when two people enter into an intense relationship, things are NEVER that simple. If you knew my slave you’d understand! Don’t get me wrong, I own my properties body and mind. Her talent, intelligence, and time is a tool of my will. But there is much more to a person than a body and mind.

I actually count four areas of discussion when entering into a CNC (consensual non-consent) or TPE ( total power exchange).

1 – The body and mind

A TPE relation attempts to approximate what it would be like to be a sold slave whose body is complete commercial property. Actually.. a collaring ceremony can be conducted as a selling transaction, but I digress.

When negotiating ownership of the body, be aware that if the owner later discovers cutting and scarification and wants to try that on his or her slave, its their right. So negotiate up front hard limits. Hard limits are a necessary part of taking ownership. I personally feel if something wasn’t negotiated before taking ownership, there needs to be some leeway, but that’s a personal preference.

An owner should also have total access to the mind of his or her property. No personal boundaries should exist. I personally want the slave to set up a guardian, a part of the slave’s mind that records things that I might want to know, and reports daily, like playing back a recording.

2- Finances

The first was body and mind which is a simple, given understanding, of total slavery. Some might argue that finances automatically come with consensual slavery. Others not so much. A slave who turns over all their money and assets had better be damn sure they know what they are doing.

In a workshop a few years back a person asked how they should intervene. They had a friend in trouble.  Their friend of was a slave with a substantial amount of wealth and it was being recklessly spent and taken by their Mistress. Money. It’s not the mind or body of the slave but it is most certainly a means to self determination. When a Master controls the a slave’s access to money it influences almost everything they can do and say outside of the relationship. Controlling access to money is also a tool of abusers.

I don’t mean to imply that you shouldn’t discuss controlling your slave’s financial assets or that doing so makes you an abuser.  I am just pointing out when you are entering into those initial discussion of a consensual power exchange that finances are an area worthy of treating as a discussion separate from the body and mind. A second area if you will.

Here is something interesting to consider. A lifetime of financial gain is more easily lost than acquired.  Does your slave care more about turning over their body and mind, or more about a lifetime of financial progress?  Does finacial control build or destroy trust?  What does that mean?  Should an owner provide for the future care of a trusted slave in the event he or she releases his slave, or dies?    What does that mean financially? To what purpose should finances be controlled? Interesting stuff. Discuss it.

3 -Children

When children come into the negotiations, there will quite possibly be a significant other from the past who has a legal right to interfere in the children’s well being. This is not up for debate. The law is involved. This HAS to be an area of discussion.

Many parents treat their children like slaves. We choose who they can see, where they go, what they wear, what they eat, what they learn, what tasks they will do. Childhood is the last vestige of real slavery. During negotiations, a child should NOT be thought of as a possession of the slave and therefore by extension property of the property. Just because a parent who is a slave is transferring all decision making authority to the Master or Mistress, they are still a parent.

Being a parent often means putting your children first. Good stuff to consider when negotiating a M/s relation. ~ X Quote

4 – Religion and God

And that brings us to the fourth area.  In one collaring ceremony I attended, the Master took possession of the slave – body, mind, and soul. I cringed. I do not believe in taking possession of souls, but I do believe myself extremely qualified to lead my slave and I towards enlightenment. But that’s my person belief, and one my property entrusts into my care. I don’t know if the Master in the collaring ceremony gave as much thought as I would give to a phrase like that.

Maybe you are an atheist, or agnostic, Christian, spiritualist, wiccan, or are one with the force. My point is that often our passion and beliefs are tied together in strong ways. Being a Master or Mistress does not mean that you need to be the spiritual leader for your slave, or force being an atheist on them – though you could if consented to. A person’s soul is worthy of discussion. If you desire to direct the soul of another to the truth as you believe, this is the fourth and final area worthy of discussion.

I could go into great detail on each section, but that’s enough to chew on for now.  Man!  I’ve been doing this way too long. I have such strong feelings about the best way to do things, its hard not to feel I have all the answers – which makes it hard to be humble. which comes across as asshole if I am not careful.  Trying here.. Carpe Diem my friends.. Go be someones great day.


Quotes by XTAC ( Ecstasy)

Last addition was in 2019, December 29th

What is quote worthy?

What makes a thing quote worthy? Like all quote worthy comments, its elegant simplicity belays the deeply profound thoughts that arise, the more you ruminate upon it. Or it is just wisdom so important, its a keeper.

Over the years I have written and spoken a lot so by shear volume I have to have said something useful a few times.  Every now and then when it happens that I think…Hey! That’s pretty good.. I write it down in my list of quotes.  Over the years, this list has gotten to be quite long, so you may not want to consume this whole thing in one bite.

That being said, two blogs ago when I listed my favorite quotes by others, I promised that I would share my own quotes list.  Now is that later I mentioned.  You may want to bookmark this page because I add to it all of the time and because once in a while, some of this stuff is an inspirational “pick me up”.  You can also find this again quickly by clicking on the “About” section at the top of any page, My Quotes are linked there.

Related:  Quotes by others

Xtac Quotes
Presented in the order they were created

I can not create a minute, even the minutes of my life belong to a higher force. The only thing I truly own, are my choices. ~Xtac Quote

I truly believe that the Ds lifestyle, if executed honorably, is a home for the heart like no other. If founded with honesty, and built with trust, and entered into with a sincere desire to serve other, each according to their sacred role, no nilla relationship can compare. ~Xtac Quote

Evil in this life is a self inflicted wound in the spiritual world” ~Xtac Quote

The strength I draw from, helps me to be supportive in a calm, reasoned, loving way, no matter how you pummel me with your needs or your pains. But that strength is a double edged sword. Just because I won’t abandon you, doesn’t mean I am weak, and it doesn’t that I will take you back if you leave. Never mistake my kindness for weakness. ~Xtac Quote

With my fist, I can only take the pleasures that are demanded or which I beat from you, and so become a slave myself. But when I take your neediness with an open hand and feed you the pleasure of your submission, I create a desire to return. This is how I become the Master. ~Xtac Quote

Explained: This is about internal slavery vs external slavery.  The Master who takes without consent becomes the slave. They are wrong, and they know it, and must forever live with the knowledge that their world is tenuously held together by force, anger and evil. They are a slave to that which is required to keep it together.  Now this is true throughout the full spectrum of consent.  At one end is the domestic abuser (external control).  At the other end is the mutually happy Ds couple (internalized control).  There is every possibility in between, but to become a Master, you must learn to internalize slavery; learn how to feed your slave on the pleasure of their own submission.

I have found, that almost every submissive has a secret key locked away in her heart and her mind, begging to be found. Any master can have her pleasures, but only a great Master can find the key, and when he does, she comes undone, but is forever more, held in the grip of the man that set her free. Given time, that Master is usually me. ~Xtac Quote

A true slave, in every fiber of their being, feels nothing without the ability to serve. Serving is happiness, and only a Master makes this possible. Serving a Master is our gift. Trusting the Master to use your service well, is your gift. ~Xtac Quote

A true slave does not give the gift of service, they give the gift of trust. ~Xtac Quote

In love, I am like a mirror. This is not a simple metaphor. It has taken me years to understand how to be a good lover. A mirror lives for interaction. When engaged, it is present, totally in the moment, and when left, does not pine or cling for the next interaction. No, a mirror is, completely content to just be, and like a mirror, when a lover comes to me, I am truth reflected, need reflected. I am all that you bring: desire, passion, compassion. I am there for, and completely with you; focused on and in that moment. There is much more, but put simply, to be a good lover, I must be a mirror. ~Xtac Quote

“Comfort the afflicted, afflict the comfortable. A creed for the responsible Sadist, if ever there was one. ~Xtac Quote (first sentence is part of a Finley Peter Dunne quote regarding newspapers)

I truly regret, there is not enough of me to go around. ~Xtac Quote

Judgement will not be passed upon you from my behavior, so stop trying to take responsibility from me. Own your own choices, prepare yourself for judgement, keep God in your way, and I’ll do the same. ~Xtac Quote

Submission is not weakness. It takes more strength to be submissive than Dominant. ~Xtac Quote

“It takes more strength to be a slave than a Master. You may disagree but it is the slave who demonstrates strength and courage with their commitment to an uncommon currency; the currency of trust, honesty, and love” ~Xtac Quote

It is strange to a Nilla, that in bondage, a slave finds freedom. But in keeping boundaries, these same people create a prison from which their hearts are never truly free. This is a sadness that pains and frustrates me. I wish they could see, what I see. ~Xtac Quote

Eternity and infinity hold all possibilities and in a state of all possibilities existing simultaneously, rationality can not function. ~Xtac Quote

A very small segment of the population understands that reality obeys the observer. That is fortunate. This knowledge was not meant for everyone. ~Xtac Quote

What everyone should do, is choose wisely, that which they focus their attention, passion, and energy upon. ~Xtac Quote

I refer to Love as a noun, but it only has real meaning as a verb ~Xtac Quote

We are all students of life. ~Xtac Quote

When pursuing the mysteries of life; seeking higher truths, remember that every real truth is a paradox. This is why, the smarter we get, the less we know. ~Xtac Quote

I must remember to be thankful you can interfere in my life. Free will enables us all to grow. Be careful how you use it, however. That sword cuts both ways. ~Xtac Quote

Great leaders (and Dominants) do not shy from conflict. They do however attempt to make the outcome of conflicts constructive, rather than destructive. ~Xtac Quote

When this is your orientation, your passion is the journey of a lifetime. We are all on different points in this journey, but we share the same road. ~Xtac Quote, speaking on bdsm

Doing the right thing, is always the right thing to do. ~Xtac Quote

What is right, is always right in front of me, if I listen. ~Xtac Quote

Truth is personal. People rarely share the same truths. This is because each of us lives in our own world. ~Xtac Quote

I find that when my choices are not aligned with my alliances, it often confuses both my friends and enemies and that is OK. Owning a decision made upon independent and original thought is never going to be easy. ~Xtac Quote

When you approach each decision upon its own merits, this results in an apparent inconsistency and that is as it should be, for real truth often seems counter intuitive. ~Xtac Quote

Figure out how your audience needs to hear your message and it will be heard. HOW you say something is nearly as important as what you say. ~Xtac Quote

Hate only hurts the one that holds it. ~Xtac Quote

The only titles of value are those acquired thru recognition by others. One claims that title by exercising that recognition, not asserting it. ~Xtac Quote

When people make decisions about what is right thought and right behavior, and construct a framework for enforcing what they believe, zealots are born. This is the cauldron from which many a poisonous religious and governmental brew is born. ~Xtac Quote

The truth is, Love and Empathy guide us to what is right, not people. The more we deviate from this truth, and the more complicated our explanation, the more likely we have let passion, blind compassion. ~Xtac Quote

It is fair and actually the most honest thought you can have, to acknowledge that every encounter between two people seeks to an exchange of some sort that is, if not equitable, then advantageous. ~xtac quote

Ethics is a way of assessing if claims of an inequitable exchange have merit, and the degree of outrage and action that should result. Morality however is bullshit. ~ Xtac Quote

Cheaters ALWAYS prosper, until they get greedy, THEN you catch them at it. ~ Xtac Quote

What people do reveals what they really think and feel. Even if we do not ignore the words and do not observe actions consciously, we still know this instinctively. This is why trust takes so long. ~Xtac Quote

Some people will say anything, its what they will do that is limited ~ Xtac Quote

Life is my spiritual path, but BDSM is how I share it. In this life, I serve by leading those who serve. I see the ying and the yang through out life and in BDSM, I can express it with passion and compassion, two sides of the same, each of us in our sacred role. ~ Xtac Quote

Many people will offer advice on what you should believe or do. Politely but firmly reject any advice you have carefully considered before. But if the advice is new, be prepared to reevaluate your thinking. Don’t allow appearing to have been wrong, to get in the way of actually being right. ~ Xtac Quote

Remember this-EVERY accusation of consent violation has a predator and a victim..every one. The real question is, who is the predator and who is the victim? ~ Xtac Quote

I am thankful for beautiful skies, my inner guide, and the universe through which I offer myself as a conduit. I am thankful for my canvas, she with whom I practice serving those who serve. I am thankful for that which gives meaning to my life.  I am thankful for those who have shared moments with me, letting me be part of their life.   As I become part of their life so too they have become part of mine.  ~ Xtac Quote, Thanksgiving 2014

Place your head before of your heart, before you place your heart before your head. Respect is not earned, its a reflection of your own values, but trust, that is earned. Once earned though, you must follow your heart. ~ Xtac Quote

Argue to the intelligence of your point not to people. If you find yourself in a cage with monkeys, what would the point be to trying to convince them to stop throwing shit? ~ Xtac Quote

I firmly believe that some sacred cows were meant to be made into hamburger before consumption. ~ Xtac Quote

You must understand that some beliefs are at war with each other. ~ Xtac Quote

BDSM is what we make of it. As we travel on this journey together, we all find what it means for us personally, what works for us, what makes us personally come alive. Where it gets interesting, is when we try to explain to others what we think and why its worth sharing. Then it gets very interesting indeed. ~ Xtac Quote

It might be said that the Utopian ideal of universal equality is a path that leads to anarchy. It is only through equality AND consent that we can happily enter into a larger group to find our place in the natural structures of power that we create together. ~ Xtac Quote

The most important part of giving, is the taking. ~ Xtac Quote

It can be terribly frustrating to have something of value to say and no one will listen. This then is the truth of giving and taking. Taking is the most important part of giving. ~ Xtac Quote

When we understand that taking is the most important part of giving, suddenly we see why a Master or Owner is important to a slave. The owner is what gives meaning to the deep and abiding need to serve. ~ Xtac Quote

If you don’t think ideas are dangerous, make a list of words ending in “ism”. Every “ism” has followers willing to bitterly fight and possibly die over words. ~ Xtac Quote

Our value is determined by what we bring to a relationship, not the relationship itself. ~ Xtac Quote

Some argue that submission does not take strength. It does. Dominance does not require strength. It requires the gentle patience to apply irresistible force to the strength of that submission, until it bends comfortably, happily, to your will. ~Xtac Quote

Hatred is a self inflicted sickness of the body and mind. If you hold hate it will grow stronger. The more you embrace it, the weaker you become. Like all sicknesses, if it is not beaten, hatred will ultimately consume its host. ~Xtac Quote

When I say stype, I am saying I know that you identify as a submissive or a slave and fit into what we all recognize as one of those labels but that I am not judging. I am removing the choice of submissive or slave so that I can have a dialog in which we better understand you without the label, how your level of submission and obedience guides your self-identity. ~Xtac Quote

What is the value of a word if that word has no value until the person using it personally defines it? Welcome to the complex world of subs and slaves. ~Xtac Quote

If a word has no meaning until the person using it personally defines it, then why even have that word in the first place? What is the value of a word that has no value? None. Words such as slave, consensual slave and submissive need definitions ~Xtac Quote

You must ever be mindful to manage the mind, not the body of the slave. ~Xtac Quote

Pick your audience. Words have cultural and emotional associations in addition to their literal meanings and connotations. Or just say fuck it, today I don’t care if the monkeys are going to fling shit ~ Xtac Quote

Carl Jung says that “where power predominates, there love is lacking.” I say: “Power without consent promotes evil, but power with consent promotes love.” ~ Xtac Quote

The highest form of society is not based on gender or equality, but on consent. ONLY when our right to consent is not suppressed, can love and power coexist within the natural systems of power all around us. ~ Xtac Quote

Only through consent can we create the opportunity to experience unbridled love and power together. ~ Xtac Quote

I am instantly suspicious of any person that seeks real power, power that cannot be contested, because I believe their personal motivations are far from altruistic ~ Xtac quote

Power exercised without consent begets evil ~ Xtac Quote

To fight evil, we must become the evil we fight. To not fight is to have the good we possess extinguished. What choice then is left to us? ~ Xtac Quote

Plans are just a framework on which life happens. Might as well enjoy the ride. ~ Xtac Quote

Adults don’t make children, children make adults ~ Xtac Quote

I do not fear death, only the pain required to pass through it. I welcome death, the moment when I can again be in the light. ~ Xtac Quote

Much in the way that a slave finds greater freedom in their chains, a thought we understand and agree upon, it too can be said that a much needed cathartic release may require the quiet aftermath of being broken, when all struggles surrender to peaceful acceptance. ~ Xtac Quote

The pleasure of slavery can not exist without consent but true slavery can not exist with consent. It would seem a paradox impossible to resolve, but it is not. ~ Xtac Quote

Serendipity happens. I often wonder why the people I come into contact with, were presented in that time and place. How will this weave into the fabric that will become the lessons of this life? ~ Xtac Quote

You can not teach orientation ~ Xtac Quote

Just remember that what you seek you will not find, but in the path of your happiness, when you are loving life the most, what you were seeking will find you. ~ Xtac Quote

Respect for diversity is good, its even better as respect for diversity of thought. ~ X Quote

Being sensitive does not entitle you to hate on the insensitive. ~ Xtac Quote

Opportunity is nothing without the will and ability to capitalize on it, and visa-versa. ~ Xtac Quote

When reaching for goals, gauge your progress by each success-no matter how small- AND each setback.  Each success tells us that if we did it once, we can do it again.  Each setback provides knowledge that puts us closer to our next success. The only real failure, is to give up. ~ Xtac Quote

Believe, or do not believe, there is no middle ground ~ Xtac Quote

The complexity of a slave’s mind or any mind for that matter, holds the fascination of this Master.. incessantly. ~ Xtac Quote

The cure for radical points of view is almost always for you to do the very thing thing you are trying to stop. ~ Xtac Quote

In every Ds relation there are three participants.. the Dominant, the submissive, and the relation. All three have needs. ~ Xtac Quote, from ideas put forth in a munch discussion.

Being a parent often means putting your children first. Good stuff to consider when negotiating a M/s relation. ~ Xtac Quote

All things in their time.. fast may win the race, but slow and steady wins it all. ~ Xtac Quote

The price of admission into my world is, at the very least, to grasp the concepts of my reality. ~ Xtac Quote

This body has been good to me but it is others who will miss it when its gone, not me. ~ Xtac Quote

What we DO in BDSM might not be for everyone, but what we know is. ~ Xtac Quote

It is by knowing that the laugh of a child, like the eclipse, is a once in a lifetime event never to be repeated in quite the same way.. that we learn to embrace each moment with equal joy and awe at the wonders large and small around us. ~ Xtac Quote after 8/21/17 eclipse

You need to understand that to love someone is to bring your happiness to them so that joy is multiplied. If you NEED someone else to find happiness, then you are sucking at them, pull all of your happiness from them like a leech, and this is destructive. ~ Xtac Quote (Added at the suggestion of slave Kit)

What you would call “good” or “bad” is often simply the objectification or your own feelings about that thing. ~Xtac Quote

You should only feel “guilty or sorry” if you consciously do something wrong. The alternative is being conscious and doing right.  Avoid at all costs simply reacting while suppressing any real thought, leaving yourself feeling conflicted. That is the path to an unhappy life.  ~ Xtac Quote

To do “wrong” is to break your person code of ethics in the pursuit of your desires.  To do “right” is to pursue your pleasure within the boundaries of your personal ethics.  The world has been and always will be in search of a universal set of ethics. ~ Xtac Quote

…to be worthy of a title like Master, you must also have a certain degree of humility, a willingness to earn recognition. ~ Xtac Quote, as recorded by Master B.

Men want a good girl who is only naughty for them, and Women want a bad boy who is always nice to them. ~ Xtac Quote -that is true more often than not..

I keep my pride in check with this mantra…”If its the truth, it ain’t bragging”. ~ Xtac Quote

It may seem weird, but you can take pride, in the fact you swallowed your pride, to be on the right side of a thing. ~ Xtac Quote


Think Clinton, or clitoris, whatever works ~Xtac Quote

  • Note: if we are friends, ask what this means, but be prepared. The explanation takes a few paragraphs. The short version is this: “Hold your head high, try to keep your dignity and sense of humor, no matter how bad it gets.”