I am ignoring you, slave!

Unbelievable! – Can you imagine a responsible Master saying to their slave, “I am ignoring you!”?  Neither can I.   At first blush, I would say NO Master would ever do that.  We are sworn to take away your burdens, to shoulder your worries, we listen dutifully and we act.

Truth is it happens, it happens all the time, and its not a bad thing.  A few years back in the “Cult of fury”  (a dungeon  that was discovered and closed down by panicky nilla’s), I watched as a friend did a scene with his bottom.  She whined and complained and he just ignored her and went on with the scene and I smiled.  It worked for them. I turn to that memory every now and then.

Its a fact that we have safe words because no doesn’t mean no.  In fact, its kind of hot when you ignore a No!, and keep on going.  It gives you that feeling of authenticity, it makes our consensual non-consent relations feel more real.

I was speaking with Vile, a blogger who I am on page with like ivory soap.. 99.9 percent pure, all good info, all the time.  He noted something similar.  There are times that he is exactly like I describe myself.. a slow, steady, unmovable force pushing until his slave molds comfortably, happily, to his desires. I bet Arianna ( his slave ) and Izrina could swap some great stories..

Support groups!  We don’t talk about THIS often enough. Sometimes we DON’T listen.  Oh we hear the protests, the No!, the objection to where we are taking you, but we are going to do it anyway. This is why slaves need support groups.. so they can get together and agree that we are assholes but they still love us.  A great slave will promote the one they serve in public, putting forth only the goods side. That is another reason why support groups are helpful.  We all have these things that we don’t talk about, like the times an Owner didn’t listen.  In the comfort of your fellow slaves company, then is a good time to share, to know we all experience similar things, and agree that its actually a good thing, and sometimes kind of hot.  It is also a time to find out when it is not normal and that might be bad… though if your owner isn’t keeping you from support, I doubt it.  Its the ones who don’t want you in support groups to watch out for.

Deal with it!  In the TPE (total power exchange) or CNC (consensual non-consent) agreement, you signed up for this.  You gave us all this power and we are going to make you do things, that you in your heart know you wouldn’t have done if it wasn’t for us.

Its not that we don’t listen, we do.. but and forgive me because I know you are not children so this makes a poor analogy, but we do sometimes treat you like children who are whining about chores.  We hear you and we are still going to make you do them anyway.  Sometimes the results are awesome.

The good side – She who is my canvas, Izrina, if she is NOT in the middle of being made to do something and therefore in a less generous mood.. will tell you that I have pushed her into many things and in many ways she is much better off for it.  Specifically in the areas of health and finance, I’ve made very useful changes in her life.

Speaking of Izrina, she has been listed as a Boot Black in the 2017 North East Power Exchange competitions schedules page (here).  She’s nervous, but once she is sitting with her sister slaves, that will calm right down.  I love to see slaves working and laughing together.

IMPORTANT STUFF!   I think its important to note that at times a CNC may appear to actually be NOT consensual.  Slaves whine, and complain, and object, and we go right on doing things anyway.

Sometimes its hot!..On your back wench and spread your legs!  Sometimes not so much.. My back is killing me.. can I just do oral service?

Sometimes Dominants appear to be insensitive, and on one level we are.  Its kind of like the old tough love thing, we have to harden ourselves to push you to the places you asked us to make you go.

Nothing is ever as easy or simple as it sounds. When you get right down to it, a real Dominant is always open to criticisms of abuse, both physical and verbal. A slave gives the gift of trust.  We don’t think about it very often, but in a way, a Dominant gives a lot of trust too.  We are often risking very real, legal intervention in our lives.  We take on this risk, in part because we too trust.  That is, we trust this won’t be turned against us.

When you hear bad things about Dominants, here are two quotes to go with it.

Remember this-EVERY accusation of consent violation has a predator and a victim..every one. The real question is, who is the predator and who is the victim? ~ Xtac Quote

If you ever hear a bad story about me understand that there was a time I was good to those people too, but they wont tell you that. ~ Author unknown


The THREE slave areas of choice

An external slave, one who is enslaved by external forces, has no choices.  An internal slave, one who is enslaved by their own desires to engage in submission and consensual slavery, has a world of choices.. until one day.

One day that slave, having been responsible for years, and having honed his or her skills in decision making, and having protected the property that is their body, keeping it safe for the Owner who would one day take possession, finally finds and requests the gift of domination, and is scared and excited to find that Dominant has chosen to bestow that gift upon them.

On that day, when a slave enters into consideration, then training, to be a slave for the Dominant of their desire, on that day their areas of choice narrows significantly.

Some might argue, a slave makes one decision, the owner they would serve. I find that to be a simple and uncompelling concept and patently wrong… a slave does not choose the owner, that violates the very core of control.  I present to you a richer, more full look at the areas of choice a consensual slave has.. regardless of how their owner prefers to structure their TPE.

Who, What, When

Area 1)   Who gives commands – The consensual slave retains the choice of the individuals to whom they give their ultimate gift, the gift of trust. Once a choice is made, the consensual slave will make known their desire to submit, requesting the gift of Domination, mentoring, or protection. This choice may be negotiated away.

An un-owned a slave can and must judge the Dominants they would offer their trust to.  Be it for a scene, or a protector, a mentor, or a possible owner, the consensual slave must exercise their first responsibility as a slave, drawing upon all the wisdom they have so far accumulated, in the selection of who to trust.   An owned slave may relinquish their responsibility to choose wisely who they will trust, giving that responsibility to the one they serve – all the more reason to choose wisely.  An owned slave may retain this area of choice completely, if it is negotiated as part of the TPE agreement.  If a slave gives this area of choice into the control of their Dominant, the slave no longer retains the right to chose who to trust, though they may still have a voice in the process. This is the first area of choice that any consensual slave starts with.  It may be negotiated away.

Area 2)  What commands are accepted – The owned consensual slave will faithfully execute all commands of the dominant they serve but will choose wisely the manner in which they resist commands that violate their responsibilities to the property, its values, and its ethics.  This choice may not be negotiated away.

A slave will ALWAYS be responsible for the commands they accept.  You must weigh commands against your values and ethics and those that don’t measure up must not be accepted.  You should not accept harm to the property that is your body.. Pain maybe, but no lasting significant harm.  Lastly, you may retain those areas that are agreed to under the four areas of TPE negation.

The responsible Dominant will understand a slaves values and ethics are a higher priority and might even test that a slave is still acting as the final arbitrator of right choice, and right action, as defined by the slaves personal values and ethics.  A good Dominant needs to know that the core values are intact.

Many a slave has committed acts they later regretted because they failed to exercise this area of choice. This area of choice MUST be retained.  This is the second area of choice for any consensual slave.  It may not be negotiated away.

Area 3)  When to withdraw consent – A consensual slave may choose to exercise the power of withdrawing consent, knowing that any time the power of consent is exercised, may be the last time they do so as an slave of that owner. This choice is fundamental to BDSM and is impossible to remove under the concepts of consensual internalized enslavement.

Any consensual slave ethically and legally retains the right at any time to withdraw consent.  Consensual slavery is founded on the concept in internalized enslavement.  To not acknowledge this is to shift into external enslavement – enslavement enforced not by desire, but by fear and intimidation – and it is evil.

The consensual slave can not control what commands they will be given or when.  They have submitted their body and mind into the will of another and given the ultimate gift of a slave, complete trust that this submission will be used honorably, in accordance with the four areas of TPE negotiation, and within the slaves core beliefs, values and ethics.

If an owner violates that trust, repeatedly and without repentance, it is encumbrance upon the consensual slave to exercise good decision making and withdraw consent.  The owner may in return choose to remove his or her collar.  These are decisions not to be taken lightly, but the right to withdraw consent is always present, always an option. Both slave and Owner would do well to remember this.   This the third area of choice for any consensual slave.  It exists always, in every minute of submission, even if that submission lasts a lifetime.

Being the arrogant pompous ass that I am, I like to think that this is a much better approach than the simple.. you are a slave.. you do everything I say thing.  Call it my version of best practices if you like.  Reality dictates that is this is just my opinion, but being a Dominant, I naturally think that I am brilliant and therefore this must be spot on. I am pleased with this final draft.