Assholes of BDSM

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.

Sure, a lot of people like anal but nobody wants to deal with a really big asshole.  Seems there are a lot of us running around the BDSM community.  Yeah, I said us.   I’m one too.  I really try to be all consensual and sensitive and what not but I still have this social sadist streak a mile wide and sometimes I can’t help but rub your rhubarb the wrong way.

Take the munch I like to go to.  Their invite page was, in my less than humble opinion, in need of a professional overhaul.  So I contacted the leader and offered my services.. to make it all pretty and what not.  He was all like.. that would be great, and I was hoping to get you involved..etc…  So I put up a test page on my own site for him to look at and he took offense.. I had posted something for his group without checking with him first or with permission and I should take it down immediately.  Boy did my asshole side come out then.  We still talk, and are quite cordial but I don’t think our friendship has ever been the same.  Now don’t go taking sides.. you don’t know the flames I sent on that one, so let’s just say I did the thing I do.. slow, with no anger, but an irresistible force, hell bent on my way, damned if i am changing course.  Can you say: “Damned the torpedo’s full steam ahead!”

Or the time I was leading a Masters and slave support group.  The group has a rule.. all slaves will sit on the chairs and not at their owners feet.  The idea is to put people on equal ground.  Well, I am thinking.. my slave isn’t participating, and its my damn slave, and I get to decide what to do with her.  Who the hell are these people to tell me what to do with my slave.  LOL.. THIS in a group I am moderating.  While my points are all true, I was a guest moderator and its their group and their rules, which makes a change in the rules something open for discussion, not an edict.  Well my insistence blew up and so I made Izrina wait in the car.  I refused to let her sit beside me.  I was going to have my way  no matter what. Yeah, I can be a big idiot.  Not always.. but I have my moments.

A side note on that.. I am really proud of her.. that is always a warm memory.  She did as she was told and it was quite a few hours until I later came out.  Turns out it was too hot to leave the windows up, and too many bugs to leave them down, so she never really got comfortable, but she stuck it out because Master said so.. Yeah, really good memory for me. Reminds me of what a good slave she is.

Now there are other assholes out there too.  Maybe they think they have the “one true way”, or maybe they call it “Best practices: ( I like that one) but either way they are convinced they are genius’s of human nature and born to lead the BDSM community.. have you noticed I have a touch of that in me?  You have?  Good.. Because next I am going to release my “Three areas of choice for slaves”.

What gives me the right to go putting out ideas and best practices like that?  Well the fact I am a flaming asshole of course.. Well that and that I do spend a lot of time studying people and thinking and writing and I like to share.. but let’s go with the antagonistic approach and just say its because.. Fuck you.. I said so and I’m an asshole.. I’m good with that.

4 thoughts on “Assholes of BDSM

  1. When someone new is coming to a munch here or the local coffee which I love , the moderator will talk to them and say hey this Dominant named vile is coming and I need to tell you about him. He’s loud , unfiltered, obnoxious and speaks his mind but once you get to know him he’s ok. To date that runs about 30/70.

    Either you just love me or you hate me. I walk into a room full of Dominants and the smell of ego takes up all the oxygen. The air is so thick you can hardly breathe. I understand munches and meetings have rules but I have protocols.

    We met a triad who was from out of state and I invited them to my home. He the dominant brought up the subject about lifting protocols for the evening.
    My reply was no , I did not care what he did but my protocols are part of my continuing training and my slave would continue to follow as instructed.

    Munches and meetings should also recognize that some things are not meant to be changed. Being a Director of a local MAsT , MAsT does have guidelines about the submissive or slaves being able to speak freely without fear of getting in trouble other than that personal protocols are still allowed. Someone at a munch called me an asshole and my slave replied that is confidence.

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  2. Completely agree. One view is that strong, inflexible protocols, is the mark of a good Dominant. Another view is that you are an asshole. Both have their perspective.

    I personally find that protocols create a stronger sense of the dynamic, in a completely effortless kind of way. We FEEL like Master and slave constantly because we constantly have a protocol to attend to.

    Take walking to the car.. She walks behind and to my right. As a gentlemen sadist, I get the door for her, She steps through, then waits to walk behind and to my right again. We get to the car..I open her door.. she sets the gps – which is an anticipatory service for Master. . I get her safety belt as part of my fun with strapping her in.. To a nilla, we just waked to the car. For us, that was FILLED with domination and submission.. why? protocol. It just feels right. Its more than confidence.. its a sense that this works.. and fuck you if you don’t understand that it works.

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  3. I like this post , I am a prick , loud and obnoxious.

    Maybe I’m not ? Maybe I speak my mind? Maybe I speak the truth?

    My property is just that no one will tell me what I can or cannot do when it comes to Arianna.

    I’ve never met so many people or Doms who has gone to Walmart and bought egos .

    My friend circle is really small and I think it’s best to keep it that way.

    The test you did the reaction was surprising considering he apparently had no clue and should of been happy someone was going to mop up his mess.

    The Walmart ego , the I’m in charge ego. Truly pathetic.

    Much love

    Vile

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  4. That was pretty much my thought as well. It was as if a person asked me to write an autobiography, then complained I had no right to “publish” a test draft and put it on their desk for approval. What the hell?.. its a test draft for approval.. What the fuck? That group is looking for help now… I’d offer to take it over but I’ll be damned if I volunteer. Not after that last experience.

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