It seems sex has been on my mind quite a bit lately. In the season of Christmas, when our hearts should be turned to charity and friendship, I did write a piece regarding the holiday spirit, but in retrospect its humorous because then I followed it up with a piece of hard porn. Ha! Inappropriate again! Seems to be my way. Freaking charming and disarming and then wildly weird (to most) and off topic, and inappropriate. Yep, that’s me.
I was curious how the hard porn piece would be received by my readers, and interestingly, the statistics that came back from WordPress indicate that it was barely read. The title however never indicated that it might be sexual in nature. I mean, who would think that a title like “Ghost of Christmas past” would be hard porn? If you didn’t read the Ghost one, but are reading this one because of the title, maybe people DO pick what to read entirely by subject line.
Be warned people! My subject lines almost never help describe the real content. More often, they are lead ins, or off tangent from the meat of the subject. Bet you just thought – here he goes again… but nope
Yeah, we are four paragraphs in, and if you are wondering, when is he going to get to the good stuff, the sex and oral service stuff, well here we go… I am not false advertising this one, honest!
Izrina didn’t care for the Ghosts piece.. guess she isn’t a porn person.. Odd… shouldn’t I know that? Bad “M”, bad! So we had a discussion about “oral service”. In conversation, she had referred to a blow job as a present.. and I stopped her at once, not happy with that nomenclature.
Time out for one itsy-bitsy cute thing.. When I told her I didn’t like her calling it a present, she did that slave thing.. the deer in the headlights thing.. the one where you can just read the panic in her eyes for doing or thinking something Master doesn’t like.. its just so fucking cute.. I love slaves.. I love the care and concern for Master’s pleasure and the burning desire to never disappoint, and all that. Really, when this is your life, and its really what you are all about.. moments like that are just too delicious.. I know it was just a brief moment but moments like that are everything to me… and back to oral service...
So anyway, her momentary panic aside, I sat her down to explain what I meant. My pet…I said, I have lived in slave relations and I have lived in vanilla relations. You are quite right that a blow job is a present…IF you are in a vanilla relationship. ( The panic again in her eyes – so cute! ).
You see, there is nothing more wonderful in a vanilla relation when either side performs oral sex for the other, and then lets them drift off into sleep, or ride out the wonderful waves of that orgasm, without any strings attached – no need to return the favor – no need to stop riding that wonderful place that orgasms take us. So yes, in a vanilla relation, that is a gift. In a nilla relation, I have ALWAYS refereed to oral sex that has no expectation of return as a gift. So in that sense my pet, it is a present. The dawning of understanding my thoughts became clear in her eyes.
But in a Master-slave relation, that takes on a whole new dynamic. In a vanilla relationship, both parties are seeking for equality. In a Master-slave relationship, their is an expectation that the Master will USE the slave and at times there will be no equity in simple terms. We know that our exchanges are in uncommon currency. Our equity is one that is difficult to understand, sometimes even by our kinky friends. Panic passed, all was right in our world again, and Master was pleased with his slave.
Why do I think this way, you may ask?
In a M/s relation, a blow job is service. It can be ordered. Its why I refer to it as oral service. Now if a slave is suddenly overcome with appreciation for the gift of domination and wishes to express that with some oral service…. well that is cock worship.
Words and definitions. They are meaningless until they have action. But in a sense they are everything because they set our minds into a framework. Words are the basis for a mindset.
In a nilla relation, a blow job can be a gift or a present, but I NEVER want to hear those words from my slave. She may ask for permission to show me worship. She may be ordered to perform oral service. But she may never think she is giving me something, because I already own it. When she gives me worship.. THAT is a gift.. the gift of her trust, love and devotion. It’s subtle but important. These are the uncommon currency that she gives to me. A simple blow job as a gift from a slave??? Bah!!! The thought leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
The mindset of Master and slave is clear. I own her. I own her body, and her mind. She must set aside a part of her mind as the guardian that will report all things to Master, and especially note that which the Guardian thinks Master will want to know. The Guardian will report damage to his property.. bruises, cuts and scraps. A Master needs to know when his property is damaged. I do not own her mind body and SOUL.. Her soul belongs to a higher power, but thankfully, this slave I own has chosen me to be her spiritual leader. That was an important negotiation for me.. because BDSM and my spiritual quest are co-mingled.
Life is my spiritual path, but BDSM is how I share it. In this life, I serve by leading those who serve. I see the ying and the yang through out life and in BDSM, I can express it with passion and compassion, two sides of the same, each of us in our sacred role. ~ Xtac Quote
I would encourage you, if you are in a M/s relation, to never allow the scales or your exchange to tip. A slave should feel grateful for the gift of domination. They should never, and I mean NEVER, feel like they are giving more than they are getting. That leads down a very bad and dark road my friends. It takes some original thinking to realize what you value, and then place your happiness around receiving the things that you value.
This goes for Masters and slaves. If you as a slave don’t like being used.. here I go.. you are not really a slave. I am going to upset some people with that comment but I don’t care. If you don’t like being used, then every time Master uses you, you are going to build up resentment for the inequity in your relation and eventually its is going to drive you apart. And if a Master can’t use you then he doesn’t really own you. If he doesn’t own you, then you are a submissive, not a slave. So I stand by my statement. A real slave in their heart desires to be property, and to be used for the pleasure of their Master. Anything less and you are a submissive, not a slave. Its fine.. submission comes in all levels and each to their own. Be happy with who and what you are.. but don’t tell my slave, you are a slave, if your Dominant doesn’t own your body and mind.
So, my friends.. I do tend to go on, don’t I? Here’s to Masters every where, using their slaves for oral service, or perhaps receiving the pleasure of worship. And here’s to the slaves on their knees, tasting their submission in their Master’s pleasure..quite literally. And here’s to the nilla’s with their presents and gifts – may they someday awaken to a greater world in which they realize we all live in systems of power, and then find pleasure in that knowledge. With their personal boundaries they have built a box from which their hearts can never truly meet. I wish they could see what I see. Carpe Diem my friends… go be someone’s great day!