I got a text, it read:
“This slave needs a nap”
Because I tend to reflect on every aspect of my Master/slave relation, this short sentence is fodder for a blog.
At first, the nilla side of me noticed the third person speech, and flinched at the raw objectification. But she IS an object, albeit a very valued one, but an object none-the-less that I possess for my use. Izrina talks in third person, because she is property, because she is not allowed to say “my Master” or “my anything”. She talks of herself as an object, because I am crafting a mindset that is not for some, uncomfortable for others.
Almost as quickly, the Dominant side countered with: “Of course she speaks in third person. That is how the mindset is created.” It is through words and actions that we create the conditions where that which we desire is comfortable, and normal. It is through our daily exchanges, that we sometimes forget that others do not share this love or mindset. In fact, shifting between nilla and Ms thinking can be awkward at times.
And then the Master in me judged my accomplishments with this slave. The things she did without thought now, the things that needed reminding. I thought of the many reflections, like this one I was undertaking now. I thought of the dozens of adjustments to my style, to the manner in which I brought forth my canvas, my creation, she who would be my perfect slave.
And then my all too human side thought…. God, I don’t ever want to go through all that training again. Not when I have right here the perfect slave for me. I grinned at that, and was so amused, I shared it with her later. Partly because I know it would reassure her to know she is perfect for me, and partly because she needs to know that it is no accident – that it takes work to get to this point, and partly because when she realizes the first two things, she could worry less about what it would take to lose me.
Some slaves may worry about being perfect. I find that to be normal. But it is the Master’s place, honor and privilege to decide if a slave is “worthy”. No slave should presume to make such a decision for an owner. It is enough to trust, so that the owner may shoulder the decisions and worry. Getting to the point beyond worry, where you both are comfortable and happy, takes a lot of work, and that too is normal. Izrina knows that she may not punish herself, that too is my privilege. There is so much to learn and unlearn. Izrina knows all this but still needs reassurance from time to time.
We have so many protocols, rituals, and rules, but collectively they shape our lives… both our lives, and we are much happier to live this way. It took me quite a while to find the right material from which I could create this slave. It is not always an easy thing to do, to find someone who compliments you, but I wish you all, the very best of luck in that search. I can say this. It is worth the patience and effort. Carpe Diem my friends, Make a great day!