I have to tell you that part of my control has to do with timing. I will reveal information when it has the most use and impact. If you read yesterday’s blog, you know that Monday I was unhappy but doubled down on the things I wanted addressed and yesterday was better. I kind of released that information early though, before it had a conclusion. I ended like this:
This evening was nice. Tomorrow, if my expectations are met, they will be better still. Or they might be worse. I expect better though.
So I telegraphed my thoughts. Problem is, my slave reads this blog too. There is every likelihood that by those words, she might alter her behavior. I don’t want that. I would prefer to wait and see what kind of response I get from earlier interaction. How else can I judge the effectiveness of my corrective application?
I am a Dominant that is very much into the pleasure of understanding my slave, and finding her buttons, and knowing how to to push them to get the results I want. Having a blog can work both ways. It can be a method of praise, or embarrassment. What I write here, can influence in a very real way our relation. I am always cognizant of this when I write here.
It is one of the quirks of having a public blog, that it work for or against your plans. Worse, the written word is fraught with misunderstandings that just don’t as easily exist when you can see and hear a person. A simple written: I love “this”, can cause a person to wonder: Did I do “this” without realizing? Was it a good thing? Was it a bad thing ? Is “this” a hint? Am I supposed to be doing something? Do I do this “thing” enough? Do I do it too much? Yeah, a blog can be a quirky thing, for a Ds relation.
For my blog followers who are wondering how this drama concluded tonight: The area I wanted corrected was handled far better than my expectations. I am a very happy M tonight. Even more so, because she was too busy to get to the blog to read. Which means the things that influenced that behavior were in no way related to this blog. Double bonus points! Yep, I am very happy indeed.
I’m not ready to brag about what a good girl she is, or mention how pleased I am to have such an obedient and pleasurable slave, nope. No such puffery here for her to read. There is always time for back sliding and this particular area I am addressing is important. If it stays attended to well, and for a period of time, THEN maybe I’ll make such comments.
OK.. maybe one little praise. Tonight’s dinner was steak and veggies. I pretended to be gaming while she prepared my plate. I enjoyed the busy little dance back and forth, some pepper on this, a bottle of olive oil to add a splash to that… just back and forth attending to the plate with great care and attention to my preferences… and there it was… that love you feel that just overwhelms you. The sense that your life is absolutely perfect, and before you is a person that completes that life, who in ever fiber of your being, just feels right for who and what you are.
Better to live in those magic small moments when nothing important happens, than to live for any imagined, great future. Living for the future is a terrible waste of the present. Tonight I am just incredibly pleased, and that is enough. Carpe Diem my friends. Go MAKE a great day!