They call me “M”

Depends on who you talk with.  My direct reports call me Manager.  My slave calls me Master.  Either way, they call me “M”.

You would think the distinction between being a manager and a Master is  worlds apart but lets take a closer look shall we?. In some ways they are, and some ways they are not.  Slavery attempts to approximate a lack of consent, but if you have had managers like some of the ones I’ve worked with over the years, then yeah, sometimes employment doesn’t feel so consensual.   Often, it comes down to, “Do you want to continue your employment and get paid, or not?”  

I try to remember how I have felt over the years, working for others, and use that for my own education. When in school I observed that there are often teachers you loved, but you learned very little, and teachers you hated but learned a lot from, and every once in a while you had that rare teacher you both loved and learned from.  A good boss can be like that.  Some one who drives you hard, but you don’t resent, for reasons that are hard to pin down.  A great boss can make you feel that you were important to something that was really needed, and you were compensated in a way that felt equitable even if it wasn’t hard currency. The currency of that exchange is a key between good employment, and consensual slavery.

Both should be a mutually satisfactory exchange.  The objective should be that both parties come away feeling that the exchange was fair, beneficial.   In both cases, if you can’t feel a sense of enjoyment for what you do, you should get out.  Life is too short.  In both cases, if you see that someone isn’t happy, you should force them to examine the root of why.  In both cases, its OK to push hard at times – so long as that push is necessary, in both cases, you should make sure the satisfaction of a job well done is part of the experience.  In both cases, a certain degree of autonomy to achieve satisfaction is required, certainly with employees and to a lesser degree, so too with consensual slaves.

Understand that I have a boss too.  Power is always a web around us.  We seek a level within these webs and tiers of power, where we are most comfortable.   I observe those above and below me and around me.  My “M” style is a result of my dedication and appreciation of power structures.

When we manage people, we must listen, we must understand their motivations, and we must help them realize and achieve their goals.  When you micromanage, it is not good for any form of delegation.  In both cases, we need to be tough on problems, understanding of people, and not shirk the responsibility of our position.  In both cases, we can’t look the other way when people screw up, but we should turn mistakes into opportunities.  In both case, we should not ignore problems or kick them down the road.

Notice how much of being a Master or a boss aligns. In consensual slavery we call it Domination.  In employment we call it managing.  In both cases, we are the whip and the carrot the brings about greater achievement.  But just because you manage in one area, does not mean that needs to be in all areas of your life.

Your power can vary from employer, to family, to lover.  Each can have its own level of power, its own level of comfort with the level of management you hold. Some might argue that it is easier to understand the joy of submission at home if you tire of being a boss at work all day..or visa-versa.  For me, who craves control above all else, I enjoy a degree of power in both work and home and it pleases me immensely.

In managing people, regardless of the terms of how they came to be managed, the tools are very often the same.  So it is, I constantly give thought to power, acquiring it, exercising it, and making good things happen.  So, yeah, some call me “M”.  Or Boss, or “X” or Master X.  I wear many hats.  Its a wonder any hat fits this big head.  Its why humility, along with observation and thought is key.  I need to always be able, to laugh at me.


BEEP… BEEP… BEEP… and now for a living with X update…

Surely you didn’t come here to hear me ruminate on all of my theories.  So here is a quick look into a life of living with X.  In today’s drama packed episode, we look in on an unhappy X.

Oh I was pissed!  My slave did a few things that really had me twerked and then she left to take care of a task that needed attending to.. her task, not mine.  I only had so much time for lunch, and  was simply not pleased.  Now my slave is a very private thing and would prefer that  I not divulge her short comings.  Agreed, just as it is her job to make me look good, I would do the same for her.  But Oooooooo the girl is a handful at times.  I do love that she is a challenge though.  What lover of Domination would enjoy for very long a canvas they could not add to?  I need however to give you at least an idea of what happened so I can point out what we might learn from this.

As I said, she did some things I was VERY displeased with.  So I did my best to be patient.  I have a trick for this.  I know that what I can not solve immediately, I will solve eventually, and THAT gives me the calm to be patient.  So I collected my feelings, and began to write down the things I observed, and when she returned, I was going to give her both barrels.. a term that refers to TWO blasts from a shotgun.

But the door opened and she rushed into my arms and said, please forgive me.  Sigh.. you know that thing, where you want to yell and you have saved it all up, and now it is inappropriate to yell?   Again.. just sigh.  So I took my list and after telling her that she was a good girl for recognizing the errors of her earlier behavior, I had her put the list in her box of mistakes.  And then she served me a cool iced tea and we sat with her curled up in my lap, and had a perfectly wonderful lunch break.  Oh, don’t think I didn’t go over the list.  I did.  Just in a calm way that made sure we would try very hard not to let this happen again.

We never got to fighting, and it is this that I want to point out.  A true Master does not get angry.  A good slave sees the error of their ways.  Together they can make something wonderful; a great Ds relationship that has the opportunity to keep getting better every day.. even if there are a few speed bumps along the way.

Carpe Diem, my friends.. be someones great day!