Collars, then and now

I’ve been asked to do my workshop, “Collaring from the heart” and so collars have been on my mind.  Funny how when you hold a thought in your head, other things start to connect to it.

I was listening to a NYC area financial planner talk about scams that are made on the elderly and he said: “The elderly are especially vulnerable to scams because they were not brought up the way we were.”  He went on to say that: “When a scammer calls we don’t have a problem being rude and hanging up on them but our Grand Parents were taught to not be rude, even to a stranger.  This puts them at disadvantage, one we don’t have.”

So the words of planner rolled around in my head and I realized that this fundamental truth: “Many of us were NOT raised with our grand parents sense of respect”. This has implications all through the lifestyle, not the least of which is seen in the first traditional collar, the “collar of consideration”.

The “collar of consideration” marks a slave.  They are not quite in training yet, but they also are off the market so to speak.  If a slave is wearing a “collar of consideration”,  Dominants should know that they should NOT make advances, or solicit the slave for service. But these kinds of advances are rampant all over the internet, and even in a dungeon, it isn’t always common knowledge to not touch someone’s property.

The “collar of consideration” is I think, a throw back to a time when we were less about who we could “get over on”, and how much we can “take”.  It’s a gentile notion I think, that a slave could be neither in training nor fully owned and yet could have their choice of who they want to serve be publicly displayed and that choice be respected.

I have long taught that respect is a reflection of who we are, not of the person we give it to.  It demonstrates OUR character, not theirs. I often say we should show respect until a person looses it, to show our OWN quality of character.  I find it sad that I do not observe nearly enough understanding of that principle.  I think our Grand Parents understood this.

Maybe it is because of our upbringing or maybe we are just experiencing a bigger melting pot of cultures from all over the world.  As a society, somehow being politically correct makes it OK to be rude to others, because they “deserve it”.   I am not sure if we are really moving forward.  We don’t do as much from the heart, and I am thinking: that isn’t really an improvement.

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