If you are not familiar with “The gift of the magi”, a husband and wife each sell something precious they own, to buy something for the other, only to realize the gift they gave is designed to go with the thing the other sold. So now each as a gift, that goes with the thing they sold. Its an ironic twist that hopefully teaches us laugh off the loss of possessions, and hold tight to what really matters: each other.
Tonight my slave got back something precious she lost, a small bit of jewelry that has special significance. She thought she lost it at a munch last month, but it was found and held for me until this month’s munch. It was and has been my intention to use this as a training tool. Tonight at the munch I sent her to the car on an errand and it was slipped back to me, unbeknownst to her.
Have I mentioned she’s shy? Humiliation is a hard limit. It tears her up. So in front of our friends and acquaintances, I had her recite her daily appreciation ritual.
“Ask!”, I said and she replied. “May this slave serve the Master she loves and chooses?”. I took her hand, placed the jewelry in her hand, and said: “Master’s pleasure to take possession” and “Offer the gift of my domination”. Her discomfort at being put on the spot in front of others was lessened quite a bit by the return of the trinket.
I thought the appreciation ritual worked beautifully into the conclusion of the jewelry’s return. Also, I was pleased that the ritual provided her with practice while lessening her discomfort. I plan to do it in front of larger audiences, in workshops and other dungeon events, so this practice was useful to me. So concludes the training opportunity I made of this apparent loss. I think we accomplished quite a bit of training in trust, happiness, obedience, and public displays.
I took the opportunity on the drive home to once again discuss the point that we must place our happiness in things that can’t be lost.. the uncommon currency of our lives, of appreciations for each other.
The irony of any slave and Master relation is that the slave often feels unworthy of the love, care, and attention an Owner will lavish upon a slave. She should feel this way at times. She is after all in service to an outstanding Dominant. “We’re not worthy” is more than just a humorous line from a movie, its a real thing. What slave’s need to understand however is that judging if they are worthy is just one more of those things that needs to given to the Master. It’s just one more thing to let go of and entrust. It’s OK if these doubts creep into your mind. You wouldn’t be a slave if you didn’t have them. But you need to let your Owner know they exist so that your Master can put your fears at ease.
The really odd thing is, that these gifts are very much like the irony of “The gift of the Magi”. Master’s too, sometimes look at the service they receive and question the equity of the exchange, and wonder if their Mastery is appreciated. Not that a strong willed and intelligent Owner would voice such concerns to their slave, but we too have our doubts that something so wonderful can be real. What we need but wont ask for is assurance that our Mastery is appreciated. Hmmm most times. One Domme I know had a protocol that required she be told once a day, “you are beautiful”. Still, unsolicited appreciation is always so much nicer – Don’t you think?. These and other thoughts raced around my mind as she placed her head on my shoulder and we fell silent.
Its an amazing, wonderful, strange, and beautiful life we have I thought as we drove home. I am blessed for it. Carpe Diem! Go get some, my friends.