The Power of consent

I came across an interesting quote in a blog by Isabellalecour :

” Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other. ” -Carl Jung

It caused me, as these things do, to spend quite a bit of time reflecting on this.  If you have seen the rather long and detailed treatise on power in my Fetlife profile writings, you know how much thought I’ve given to this subject.  If you are reading this treatise for the first time, you will find that I’ve added the above quote to it.

What Carl Jung is speaking of, is the grasping reach for power that has no consent.  The greater a persons ambition and reach without consent, the less love and empathy such a person can hold for others.  In this, Carl is correct.

But in BDSM we propose the exchange of power by consent.  With this, love can and does flourish.  The power to dominate becomes an expression of love.  Its a fine distinction, but consent is one of the most fundamental pinning foundations that turns power towards good and away from evil.

I am going off topic for a paragraph, but lets talk about politics.  In an ideal world you would consent to be governed.  If you could not abide the laws where you lived, you would move.  The more centralized the government becomes, the less access you have to such choices.  Better yet, the government should not dictate your life at all.  You should be free to live your life as you please, and the government wouldn’t tell you how to live, it would simply exist to protect your right to live free.  Oh well, politics is a nasty business bound to make enemies, but my main point is that the less rights we have regarding our submission to power and authority, the more likely that system becomes evil.

Take the struggle for gender equality.  To my mind, the lowest evolution of society starts with a male dominated society.  From there, the next rung of societal evolution is gender equality.  But gender equality is not the highest form.  The highest form is when we walk in as equals, and have the freedom to consent to an exchange of power.  Women may choose to submit to another without being labeled as traitor to women’s equality.  Men may choose to submit to another without being labeled as “less than a man’s man”.  Gender equality allows men to be submissive without shame.  Or at least it should.  Equality with recognition of consent is the highest form of social evolution.

Consent goes beyond merely being the right thing to do.  It is a pivotal thing.  I sets out the course of our natural inclination to become part of a power structure.  When we shift from “no means no”, to “yes means yes”, we are starting down a cultural revolution in which we drop the last vestiges of  a society that takes what it desires by force.

My last blog was regarding the three choices of a slave. It ties back into these thoughts.  They tend to come full circle.  How does the Carl Jung quote and my thoughts on it have practical application to myself and my slave?  It means that I understand more deeply than ever that if we are to create mutual happiness, the absolute first and foremost factor is consent.  To obtain that consent, I must be worthy.  I must be honest, direct, thoughtful, and firm in my application of the gift that is my domination, and do so in a framework that supports consent at all times.   We give up nothing by insisting on consent, and adherence to our sacred role.  Rather I would say, time and time again I have seen consent make better my slaves appreciation.