The responsible slave owner puts the needs of their slave ahead of all other priorities. You wouldn’t lock a dog in a room for a week while you go on vacation. You would find someone to care for your pet in your absence. In the same way, a responsible owner sees to the care of their slave. Quite simply, it can be stated in this simple priorities list.
Master and slave priorities
- Slave’s needs
- Master’s needs
- Master’s wants
- Slave’s wants
The notion is that a responsible Master would, if it came down to a choice between there need and the needs of their slave, make the sacrifice and put their slave’s needs first. By the same token, we are saying that what the Master wants always comes ahead of the slave’s wants.
This is a somewhat simple and romantic view of slavery to be sure. Life is never that simple. We begin to question, what is a “want”? What is a “need”? I would argue that swallowing during oral service is a need for me. I am not willing to have a life partner that would cause me to give that up. So my want, is a need.
By the same token, if you have a hard limit, I would argue that is also a need. At some point, a want is so important to us that we are not willing to live with it, or without it, and so it crosses over into being a need.
This is dangerous territory. If we are to be happy, we need to take responsibility for our own happiness. We need to seek the happiness that wells up inside of us: the unbearable joy of being. We need to remove from our perspective the thinking that “things” can MAKE us happy. Happiness should come from inside us rather than from outside us. The more demands we make before we will allow ourselves to be happy, the less happy we will be. My point is, the more wants that we see as needs, the more difficult a relation becomes, and the more likely it is that we have made our own happiness unnecessarily complicated. To be sure, compromise is more often on the side of the slave than the owner but the responsible Master gives serious thought to these compromises and does not stick to an inflexible dogma.
A slave, having placed the power of all decisions into the hands of the Master they serve, must accept with grace these decisions. A slave may hope that compromise is not always the domain of the slave, that on some things a Master may for the benefit of mutual happiness, compromise themselves. I find however that like the parent that spoils their child, such compromises can go unappreciated, making the child or slave even less responsible for their own happiness. When a Master compromises for the happiness of their slave, this needs to be a rare and wildly appreciated event, something that Master uses in the training of their slave.
Mutual happiness is the goal. It deserves thought. The pursuit of happiness is a worthy goal, and the pursuit of mutual happiness an honorable and noble quest. If you are a Master, or a slave, time spent considering your wants and needs and adjusting them to achieve a more perfect union of wills, a condition in which all objections are overcome and mutual happiness assured, is time well spent.
It makes me smile when I think of my slave, of her trust in my leadership, her willingness to accept with grace and happiness the decisions I make. It surprises me sometimes when I require of her something that I know will challenge her happiness and yet I find that she has accepted. It surprises and fills me with a kind of joy that is infectious. Odd, that the thing I knew would challenger her became a source of happiness for us both. Life as a caring, thinking Master is complicated. I hope that as complex as my thoughts regarding this is, that my slave’s life is simple. I hope that for all my thought and effort, she gets to live a simple life, feeling deeply the gift of my domination. Ultimately, I do not want her to struggle with decisions, or to have doubts and concerns. I want her unburdened. I will handle all that. It is my hope that my gift provides the structure to keep her happy, safe, and feeling protected, in a life of simple pleasures.