This is old and replace by this > DRAFT TWO. Why not delete this one then? I think it helps see that this concept when through an evolution, that I didn’t just arrive at this and declare it. That through conversation, feedback, and thought, I arrived at the thoughts in draft two. I believe in the principles of transparency, when and where appropriate. This seems appropriate.
I often say that a true slave makes only one choice, the Master they will serve. Its the idealized romantic view, the fantasy we all want so desperately to believe in. The truth is, a slave has three choices. Each is perhaps, less appealing.
The curious thing about consensual slavery is that it really is a fantasy, a role playing game that we adhere to so scrupulously, that it is barely noticeable to be consensual. When you live it, it seems real. But make no mistake, the real slaves are the unfortunate victims of human trafficking. There is no comparison between what we do, and real, unconsensual slavery. Any consensual slave (who is not in service to a closet case domestic abuser) is in reality playing an elaborate role made real by the need we have to live in a power exchange relation. I find it distasteful to call my dynamic a role play, but acknowledge this as essential to maintaining a firm grip on our legal and practical reality.
And that brings us to the three choices.
The first choice is the Master they wish to serve. This is the dreamy, wonderful choice. With this choice made, the consensual slave offers their service with all grace, humility, and submission they possess; striving to exchange all power to the Master they serve, giving their will into the control of that Master, with as little reservation and resistance as they can muster. This is the dream. It lets us taste the unbridled passion and lust we feel when power and Mastery take control.
If a slave is lucky, the Master they choose will offer the gift of Domination. Since it all begins between the ears, the Skilled Master knows to control the mind of the slave, not the body, bringing into being a delicious state of give and take.
But the the one choice is a two edge sword whose cut is unpredictable. It is not enough to choose. We must ever appreciate our roles, both Master and slave. The wise CNC slave appreciates the gift of Dominance and strives to stay true to their sacred role, even when the day to day mundane vanilla world drags at us.
The second choice is to exercise the power of consent. Since this is consensual slavery, a slave may from time to time, lapse into a lesser commitment to submission. Even when the intention is total submission, sometimes vanilla behavior happens. To be sure, what a Dominant feels during such times are not pleasant. Often later, after the lapse has passed, what the slave feels is terrible shame.
But this is not a bad thing if we turn such challenges into opportunities. The reasons why this happens can be many, but times arise when we as human beings are irritable, and not in the mood. These are times when the skilled Dominant has lost all consensual control and brings to bear unpleasant behavioral training tools.
To be clear, we are not talking about the tools of a domestic abuser, rather, we are talking about understanding what buttons to push. Since these times lack consent, the skilled Master holds up a mirror to the slave, asking them to question deeply who and what they really are. With patience the slave comes to examine what they want and feel. The skilled Master steers, rather than controls, the mind back to its happy place.
Compromise is often not part of this process. Rather, by NOT compromising, submission can be driven deeper and therein lies the opportunity: to deepen the bonds of Master and slave.
The third choice is to BE THE SLAVE, MASTER WANTS. This is the ugly choice we hope to never have to embrace. It is enough for a slave to have their needs met but not so for a Master. A Master must have their wants met. This is key. How could we compromise on that?
Implicit in the third choice is the decision to step aside and make room for a slave who will better serve what Master wants. When a slave exercises not only their power of consent but resists the Master’s attempt to steer the consensual slave back to the joy of submission, there is a deeper choice the slave is playing with. The question such times bring into being is..can you really find happiness being the TPE or CNC slave Master wants? Does your joy come from service and submission, or do you need to hold back some portion of your will? Does what you need as a slave, conflict with the desires of the Master you serve?
A great slave is often one that simply likes the same things as their owner. It is the rare slave who is never challenged by a strong willed Master for some thing they find distasteful. Some Masters may even put such challenges before a slave as a test. A slave must then submit, or exercise their power of consent. A skilled Dominant will make this choice easy and in time, cause a change in the slaves feelings about such requests.
In the face of continued and unrepentant lapses of submission however, both the slave and the Master must consider – are they the slave to fulfill Master’s wants? Would Master be happier offering the gift of Domination to someone more pleasing? In other words, they must consider removing the collar. Again, the choice of the Master to serve, the first choice, is a two way sword. One must always choose wisely.
I am a Dominant, but I will never be a domestic abuser. My goal is mutual happiness. But Dominance is also the air I live and breath If I can not bring my slave back into the fold, back to our consensual slavery agreement, I would ask her to examine her third choice. Is she the one to please me?
If consent can not be obtained, and I can not achieve mutual happiness, it seems to me fitting to put the third choice into the hands of my slave.. you will comply, or lose me. Such a terrible thing to say or think.. I hope to utter such a thing -never. We need to examine ourselves and those we exchange power with. We need to ask if issues are dealt with in constructive, honorable ways. We need to examine if the people we choose to bring into our lives are worthy of our trust and devotion. If you follow the principles of the three collars, (consideration, training, final) you need to examine these questions with each collar that is earned.
I write about this because not too long ago, I was unhappy with the way my orders were executed and I took matters into my own hands. Now my slave likes to have a certain degree of autonomy over how she executes my orders. So when I became unhappy, and began to micro-manage, she became unhappy. These are her buttons, and I know them well. I knew before I started, what reaction I would get. Its all part of reaching the point of uncontested control.
So I said.. you have three choices. You can honor your first choice and complete my tasks, or you can exercise your right of consent and I will get more involved, or if that is not acceptable we can discuss if you are my kind of slave.
I showed her the three choices. Its the three choices that every consensual slave has. Its an ugly comment, but we need to acknowledge these choices. There are no more choices, no less, at least to my thinking. How a Master will deal with these choices varies from Master to Master, and what buttons work best with their slave. If we are aware of these three choices, and deal with them as they arise, we are working in a framework that preserves consent, and forces us to examine both ourselves and our power exchange partners.
My happiness demands a consensual slavery relation. Without it, I couldn’t continue. Being a Master is more than a choice for me, its my orientation, the person at the core of my being. I love owning a consensual slave. I embrace the constant opportunity to improve my skills of Mastery. I relish challenges, just as I love when she is submissively curled at my feet like a purring kitten. I strive for both of us to enjoy the glow of that power exchange. I think, issues aside, with each passing day the canvas on which I create the perfect slave for me become more and more what pleases me most. I like to think she too is finding greater happiness each day, that is sheltered from the world. A happiness that can always be hers for the choices she makes, in what she chooses to appreciate. Life is good.