The spiritual side of BDSM

There is a spiritual side of BDSM.  Hmmmm that is not quite right.  When you are a spiritual person, all things are fodder for your spiritual journey.  THAT is more correct.

So what is a spiritual person?  When I say this, I don’t mean a Christian or Jew or Muslim or Buddhist.  I mean that you sense that there is a higher power, something good behind the incredible richness of life found in everyday little things, and as a child of God you are seeking a deeper more personal relationship with that power.

To love, honor, and obey.  These are words of a marriage ceremony.  They might be words we speak when we think of our spiritual journey.  They are words a slave might use when he or she earns their collar.

BDSM, like all things in and around our lives is an opportunity to come closer to wrapping ourselves in the warm blessings of love.  I just used the word love as a noun.  Love is not a noun.  Love is action. Love only has meaning as a verb.

When parting from someone close to me, I don’t say: “Have a nice day”.  I say “Be someone’s nice day”.  What I am saying is that by being someones nice day, by practicing random acts of kindness, we are furthering our own spiritual journey and we ensuring our own nice day.  It is a curious thing about loving, that to receive we must first give.  The warmth of love is realized not from taking but from giving.

This is not true with “real” things.  If I have a pile of “real” things, like coins, and I give you some from my pile, my pile is smaller and yours is bigger.  This is “real” and we can see it and hold it up to others to see and we can count it or have others count it, so it must be “real”.  But when we give of love we do not have less we have more.  This is an insult to common sense and persons grounded in what is “real”.  Things must be able to be held up, and counted.  To be real a thing must register on gauges, or be show up on charts.  Some argue that to be “real” you must be able to predict, verify, and analyze the data before a thing can be called “real”.  For such persons, love is a chemical introduced into the blood stream as a trigger to certain environmental stimulus.

I am sorry for those folks.  What they do has an important role in furthering the fields of medicine, and healing, but the breath taking beauty in a sun rise is still just as real, even if I can not measure how beautiful it is.  There is a curious sense of an immense work of art all around us, beautiful and terrifying in its depth and completeness.  A river may jump its bank, tearing apart landscapes, uprooting trees and creating terrible destruction.  And yet a few months later, lush new green growth springs up, filled with delicate shoots of new trees, and flowers that have found sunshine where none existed earlier.

Mankind is like that.  We find barbarous heinous acts of cruelty, wars and greed and yet often we find acts of love and care springing up within these.   And for a person who sees that we are all children of God, we see the harm that such act do to our souls.  You can feel honest pity and sorrow for persons who perpetuate evil.  Not because you were told to by your region, but because you sense that we are all on a journey to a more complete relation with the higher power behind this life.

So how does all of this tie back into BDSM?  It means that a slave may offer their body, their mind, and their will to me.  They may become an extension of my will.  But their soul is another matter entirely.  This is a point we must discuss.  We must sit and talk about what you believe, what your ambitions are, what you hope to achieve spiritually.  I need to know who your spiritual leader will be.

I am comfortable with most directions on this.  If there is no desire to pursue a spiritual path, I can work with that.  I do not have impose my journey on another, for it to have meaning.  My quest is as well suited when shared as when not.  Each has its own benefit.  Nor do I have an ego driven need to be my slaves spiritual leader.  The thing I would like to avoid is having a slave who is in spiritual service to someone I think is leading them astray.  I would find that intolerable.

My own slave has chosen to allow me to be her spiritual leader.  Even if she had not, I would still refer to being Master and slave as our “sacred roles”, because this power exchange we enter into should be treated with respect and devotion.

Sacred is an adjective used to describe a person or thing worthy of worship or declared holy. It usually appears in a religious context, but an object or place set aside for a particular purpose can also be sacred

My slave shows worship to me. She honors me with her choice, to love and serve the Master she has chosen.  To love, honor, obey.  The lines blurr.  A collar is like a marriage in many ways.  No slave should be collared and then dismissed without thought and consideration for their well being.

Service to a Master can be an excellent vehicle for spiritual growth, if a Master is enlightened and chooses to use it this way.  As you go about the day of appointing tasks, of directing your slave, of reviewing his or her choices, or admonishing, praising and using your slave, you have the opportunity to bring them closer to seeing the joy in things some might not see as “real”.  You have the opportunity to unlock their hearts, and open them to an immense world of incredible beauty that is before every moment, if we can just see them.

Each day has a sunrise, and a sunset.  We have the opportunity to hear the laughter of children, to observe others lost in their moments, and awaken those moments with random acts of kindness.  We don’t need to have a good day, we can be someones good day and in so doing, walk the earth with hearts so full we can barely stand it.

Some days I bounce into work, alive and happy.  Others are rubbing sleep from their eyes and filling their hearts full of the dark brew of loathing for yet another dreary, despicable day at work. The sadist in me loves to jab at that with my bubbly nature, prodding them to take up another cup and look forward to the day.

It is the same way for my slave.  The poor thing endured me for the longest time, I think, but she is coming around.  She grins now when I poke at her with my little social sadism.  I like to think my spiritual leadership has made her a happier, more fulfilled person.  I think her attachments to the negative things are grower fewer, and her search for the beauty in little things is growing.  I like to think she not only serves me, but also the universe, pouring out her infinite love until she too can bask in the unbearable light of just being.

So yeah,

Life is my spiritual path, but BDSM is how I share it. ~ Xtac Quote