I have often heard folks in the BDSM community offer a simple explanation for the difference between a sub and a slave: A slave makes one choice, who they will serve. Well! When you put it that way it seems pretty simple.
The problem is, when two people enter into an intense relationship, things are NEVER that simple. If you knew my slave you’d understand! Don’t get me wrong, I own my properties body and mind. Her talent, intelligence, and time is a tool of my will. But there is much more to a person than a body and mind.
In a workshop a few years back a person asked how they should intervene. How they could help a friend in trouble. A friend of theirs was a slave with a substantial amount of wealth and it was being recklessly spent and taken by their Mistress. Money. It’s not the mind or body of the slave but it is most certainly a means to self determination. When a Master controls the a slave’s access to money it influences almost everything they can do and say outside of the relationship. Controlling access to money is a tool of abusers.
I don’t mean to imply that you shouldn’t discuss controlling your slave’s financial assets or that doing so makes you an abuser, I am just pointing out when you are entering into those initial discussion of a consensual power exchange that finances are an area worthy of treating as a discussion separate from the body and mind. A second area if you will. Here is something interesting to consider. Does your slave care more about turning over their body and mind, or a lifetime of financial progress? What does that mean? Shouldn’t your life be more important? But then, if you give up a lifetime of financial gain, does that devalue the life? Interesting stuff. Discuss it.
I actually count four areas of discussion when entering into a CNC (consensual non-consent) or TPE ( total power exchange). The first was body and mind which is a simple, given understanding of total slavery. The second was finances, the third is children. When children come into the negotiations, and possibly a ex-significant-other who has a legal right to some of the children’s well being, then this is an area of discussion too. Not that a child is a possession of the slave and therefore by extension property of the property, but because a parent who is a slave is transferring all decision making authority to the Master or Mistress and this is therefore an area worthy of discussion.
And that brings us to the fourth area. Maybe you are an atheist, or agnostic, Christian, spiritualist, wiccan, or are one with the force. My point is that often our passion and beliefs are tied together in strong ways. Being a Master or Mistress does not mean that you need to be the spiritual leader for your slave, or force being an atheist on them – though you could if consented to. A persons soul is worthy of discussion. If you desire to direct the soul of another to the truth as you believe, this is the fourth and final area worthy of discussion.
In one collaring ceremony I attended, the Master took possession of the slave – body, mind, and soul. I cringed. I do not believe in taking possession of souls, but I do believe myself extremely qualified to lead my slave and I towards enlightenment. But that’s my person belief, and one my property entrusts into my care. I don’t know if the Master in the collaring ceremony gave as much thought as I would give to a phrase like that.
So there you have it boys and girls. Another shiny new blog in the can. Hope you like it in the can! Hmmm porn humor! Let’s end on a better note than that. Here’s a little X quote to chew on.
I can not create a minute, even the minutes of my life belong to a higher force. The only thing I truly own, are my choices. ~Xtac quote